Author Topic: joke for sheva brachot  (Read 55250 times)

Offline VacationLover

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #100 on: January 12, 2022, 07:16:46 PM »
Any fresh jokes?
Its fresh to me,
1) marriage is a workshop, husband works and wife shops.
2) הדרכה to be focused. Once a newly wed wife came to the doctor with 2 burnt ears.
Dr: what happened?
Wife: i was ironing and was not focusing when the phone rang and by mistake I picked up the iron and burned my ear.
Dr: and the other ear?
Wife: I immediately attempted to call Hatzolah.

Offline yos9694

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #101 on: January 12, 2022, 07:29:27 PM »
A panel of spiritual leaders was asked to weigh in on when life begins.

Life begins at conception, said the priest

No, life begins at birth, said the guru

The Rabbi shook his head and said, life begins when the kids move out!

Online YitzyS

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #102 on: January 12, 2022, 07:47:09 PM »
A panel of spiritual leaders was asked to weigh in on when life begins.

Life begins at conception, said the priest

No, life begins at birth, said the guru

The Rabbi shook his head and said, "I don't know when life begins, but I'm quiet sure it ends at marriage."
Alternatively

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #103 on: January 12, 2022, 07:49:38 PM »
Can also be posted here...

Reminds me of an old joke about a patient complaining to the Dr. who told him to treat an injury with warm compress. He did that for a while and it didn't help. One day his maid sees him applying a warm compress to the injury and asked him what he's doing. When he explained, the maid said he got it all wrong, and needs to treat it with a cold compress. He tried that, and in one day he was feeling all better. Angrily he goes again to the Dr. and says "why did you tell me to treat it with warm compress? I did that for a week and it didn't help, and then my maid told me to use cold compress and in a day it was all better!" to which the Dr. responded "I'm sorry, my maid said warm compress".
Alternatively: "You're married? Okay, warm compress" Week later, the guy comes in healed. "I tried a warm compress by my wife insisted that I do cold, and it worked." "Yup, that's why I asked if you are married. Wife always thinks she knows better than the doctor."

Offline Something Fishy

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #104 on: January 12, 2022, 09:19:01 PM »
The secret to a great marriage is to never go to bed angry with each other. Rather stay up and fight all night.
Check out my site for epic kosher adventures: Kosher Horizons

Offline ~King Lake~

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #105 on: January 13, 2022, 04:51:12 PM »
2) הדרכה to be focused. Once a newly wed wife came to the doctor with 2 burnt ears.
Dr: what happened?
Wife: i was ironing and was not focusing when the phone rang and by mistake I picked up the iron and burned my ear.
Dr: and the other ear?
Wife: I tried calling back.
Heard it in this version
I'm going crazy, wanna come along?

Online S209

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #106 on: January 13, 2022, 05:24:21 PM »
Once a newly wed wife came to the doctor with 2 burnt ears.
Dr: what happened?
Wife: i was ironing and was not focusing when the phone rang and by mistake I picked up the iron and burned my ear.
Dr: and the other ear?
Wife: The idiot called again!
FTFY, once were doing versions.

Offline AsherO

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #107 on: January 13, 2022, 05:27:47 PM »
Poor Kallah, this isnt even a couples joke

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #108 on: January 13, 2022, 05:38:15 PM »
Poor Kallah, this isnt even a couples joke
The moral is to buy your wife Airpods.
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline njmacman

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #109 on: January 13, 2022, 06:21:00 PM »
What is this, a blonde joke?

Offline AsherO

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #110 on: January 13, 2022, 06:55:56 PM »
The moral is to buy your wife Airpods.

Cute, but not a SB joke

Online Euclid

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #111 on: January 16, 2022, 08:38:54 AM »

Thought of the last few posts

Offline AsherO

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #112 on: January 16, 2022, 09:56:43 AM »

Thought of the last few posts

This new frumtweeter seems to be obsessed with inappropriate husband jokes 😕

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #113 on: January 16, 2022, 10:23:16 AM »
This new frumtweeter seems to be obsessed with inappropriate husband jokes
Wow yeah. Didn't look at the timeline - just saw this joke retweeted.

Offline AsherO

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #114 on: January 16, 2022, 10:23:47 AM »
Wow yeah. Didn't look at the timeline - just saw this joke retweeted.

np, just saying

Offline njmacman

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #115 on: January 16, 2022, 03:13:41 PM »
Isn't this a thread for men?

Offline zh cohen

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #116 on: January 16, 2022, 03:59:22 PM »
ust saw this joke retweeted.

What is the joke here?

Offline AsherO

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #117 on: January 16, 2022, 08:01:17 PM »
Isn't this a thread for men?

What about Sheva Brachos? Are those just for men too?

🙄