Author Topic: joke for sheva brachot  (Read 41153 times)

Offline Crazy tools

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #15 on: February 07, 2011, 05:52:39 PM »
a husband & wife were fighting on a drive through the countryside. after a cold silence they passed some cows grazing on the side of the road. the wife turns to the husband and asks, "relatives of yours?" "yup" he answers "in-laws"

Offline Chaikel

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #16 on: February 07, 2011, 06:01:35 PM »
Don't know what all you guys are talking about. My wife's fam is awesome. I love her in-laws
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Offline moish

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #17 on: February 07, 2011, 06:05:49 PM »
what about her husband

Offline Dan

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #18 on: February 07, 2011, 06:07:49 PM »
Don't know what all you guys are talking about. My wife's fam is awesome. I love her in-laws
It's a jokes thread, doesn't mean we're talking about our in-laws.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline moish

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #19 on: February 07, 2011, 06:17:57 PM »
i think it was also a joke. note "i love her in laws" = his own parents

Offline Dan

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #20 on: February 07, 2011, 06:22:27 PM »
i think it was also a joke. note "i love her in laws" = his own parents
hehe, went right over my head.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline Avid Reader

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #21 on: February 07, 2011, 09:56:00 PM »
A Rov is asked to say a few words at a Bar Mitzva of one of his Shull goers. They asks for five minutes max.
The Rov says he can't talk because he forgot to bring his teeth. So someone runs to the Rov's house, pics up the teeth, and comes back. The Rov then get's up and starts speaking, first 5 minutes, then 10, 20, 30... he finally steps down after an hour. When the Bar mitzva was over the father of the boy asks the Rov why did you speak so long, we gave you five minutes max? The Rov scratches his head and says Oy, the guy brought me my wife's teeth.

Offline Crazy tools

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #22 on: February 08, 2011, 02:57:47 PM »
To be said by the kallah's brother,
     Being that the chosson will be learning he needs a wife that will be machshiv Torah, I can tell you that my sister the kallah is very machshiv torah, because every time I come home for an off shabbos she's quick to ask me "when are you going back to yeshiva"

Offline daastorah

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #23 on: February 13, 2011, 01:05:02 AM »
Joe lieberman ran for vice president in 2000, after losing the election to bush he came home terribly bothered.
his wife calmly told him dont worry Joe in this house you will always be vice president!

Offline mancunian

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #24 on: February 13, 2011, 01:26:22 AM »
is the kala kimoves thing the whole joke? or is there a punch line i'm not getting?

Offline smurf

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #25 on: February 13, 2011, 01:59:51 AM »
is the kala kimoves thing the whole joke? or is there a punch line i'm not getting?
the word should be read "kallah kamois shehu" the joke is to misread it as kallah kamoves

Offline MarkS

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #26 on: February 13, 2011, 09:43:42 AM »
Chazal say that a Chosson is 'Domeh L'Melech'. The question is, why only 'Domeh'? Who is a real Melech?

Well, it seems that a Bochur is a TRUE Melech. He can come and go as he pleases and doesn't have to answer up to anyone.
Once he's engaged he is only 'Domeh L'Melech because while he is still single, his liberties are in the process of being taken away.

After marriage it's completely over and he's now a simple regular person!

Offline MarkS

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #27 on: February 13, 2011, 09:47:51 AM »
They say marriage is not as great as Bochurim make it out to be;
and not as terrible as married men say it is!


Marriage is not as bad as people say it is -  it's actually a whole lot worse!


Offline moish

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #28 on: February 13, 2011, 10:18:33 AM »
going on a trip with a friend - double the fun, half the price
going on a trip with a wife - double the price, half the fun

Offline mancunian

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #29 on: February 13, 2011, 06:57:33 PM »
the word should be read "kallah kamois shehu" the joke is to misread it as kallah kamoves
ah