Author Topic: joke for sheva brachot  (Read 41187 times)

Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #60 on: February 16, 2014, 12:06:39 PM »
A couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Someone asked what the secret to their happy marriage was.

The husband said it all started when after Sheva Brochos they took a trip to the Grand Canyon. They went to the bottom of the canyon on a mule. 

At one point the mule tripped and stopped moving. My wife said to the mule, "That's once". We went a little further and it happened again. The mule tripped and stopped. Again, my wife said to the mule, "That's twice". A little further, and it happened for the third time. My wife took out a gun from her purse, got off the mule, and shot the mule.

I started to complain to her. She gave me a look and said, "That's once".

Heard it the other way around but whatever floats your boat...
Curiosity made the cat smarter.

Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #61 on: February 16, 2014, 12:11:26 PM »
The large family sat gathered for their grandparents' 50th aniversary, at the head of the table sat the elder grandfather with tears rolling from his eyes, when asked why he was crying he replied "I'm just thinking if I would have had her killed back when we were married I would have been out of jail by now..."
Curiosity made the cat smarter.

Offline Chaikel

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #62 on: February 16, 2014, 06:23:52 PM »
Heard it the other way around but whatever floats your boat...
The mule had the gun?
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Offline Super Speed

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #63 on: February 16, 2014, 06:28:51 PM »

Offline rj95

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #64 on: February 16, 2014, 09:50:40 PM »
A guy is walking down the street, when suddenly he hears screaming and yelling coming from above. He looks up and sees that it's coming from the top floor of a nearby apartment building. He goes in the entrance, and runs up the twelve flights of stairs. When he gets to the top, he sees a man, and an old woman. He asks, what's wrong? The man yells, 'my mother-in-law is trying to jump out'! How can I help, the rescuer asks. The man yells, I CAN'T GET THE WINDOW OPEN!   

Offline robbie

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #65 on: February 16, 2014, 10:42:36 PM »
two woman were sitting quietly together.

Offline meshugener

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #66 on: February 16, 2014, 11:20:29 PM »
two woman were sitting quietly together.
lol
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Offline etech0

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #67 on: February 16, 2014, 11:23:01 PM »
two woman were sitting quietly together.
I hope you're joking..............
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Offline meshugener

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #68 on: February 16, 2014, 11:29:25 PM »
As a side note, just think a moment: do you think it's nice and appropriate to make all these jokes about mother-in-laws?
They're not human? They have no feelings? They don't get offended?

I actually respect my mother-in-law very much.

Just think about it.
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Offline Myccrabbi

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #69 on: February 16, 2014, 11:37:19 PM »
As a side note, just think a moment: do you think it's nice and appropriate to make all these jokes about mother-in-laws?
They're not human? They have no feelings? They don't get offended?

I actually respect my mother-in-law very much.

Just think about it.
u r so sweet:-*
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Offline Deal Guy

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #70 on: February 19, 2014, 02:30:55 AM »
Any more jokes?
Any good vort for parshas Vayakhel and the MISHKAN, and building one's home?
Thanks

Offline A European

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #71 on: February 19, 2014, 04:04:13 AM »
A good הקדמה to a sheva brooches:
כל הנהנה מסעודת חתן וכלה (ואינו משמחו you could leave out this part) עובר בלאו.

That's why we give droshes on sheva broches! ;)
So why is one droshe not enough?
Because we don't want the first darshan should be over be lav.

Offline AnonymousUser

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #72 on: February 19, 2014, 08:14:14 AM »
Any more jokes?
Any good vort for parshas Vayakhel and the MISHKAN, and building one's home?
Thanks
My bracha to the chosson and kallah is that their home should always be like the mishkan; everything in it should be donated.
Although, you have to know how that shtims with another vort: the key to sholom bayit is, if you want sholom, buy it!

Offline bestwatchman

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #73 on: February 19, 2014, 08:59:36 AM »
Sheva brochos is the only thing worse than shiva, shiva at least you get shabbos off.

Offline skyguy918

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #74 on: February 19, 2014, 09:59:05 AM »
Sheva brochos is the only thing worse than shiva, shiva at least you get shabbos off.
Heard it better (IMO) with gehenom.