Author Topic: joke for sheva brachot  (Read 68408 times)

Offline aygart

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #80 on: February 19, 2014, 04:10:05 PM »
I think it's in perek 1 of brachos - עובר בחמישה קולות
that ain't a lav
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline SamKey

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #81 on: February 20, 2014, 11:09:37 AM »
Why was Bilam's donkey of the ten things created erev Shabbos?
They needed someone to speak at Sheva Berachos

Online whacked1

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #82 on: June 20, 2014, 12:11:58 AM »
Bumping this thread, I need some good jokes for my friends aufruf this week.

Offline Joe4007

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #83 on: June 20, 2014, 12:49:09 AM »
Bumping this thread, I need some good jokes for my friends aufruf this week.
Check out this thread.

Offline yoohoo

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Looking for Sheva Brachos Jokes...
« Reply #84 on: July 26, 2016, 01:06:22 PM »
Looking for Sheva Brachos Jokes...

Online TimT

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Offline yoohoo

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Offline David Smith

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Re: Looking for Sheva Brachos Jokes...
« Reply #87 on: July 26, 2016, 02:23:38 PM »
A newly married BT couple was having their first seder. Being as they'd never been at a seder before, they didn't know what they were suppose to do, so the husband tells  his wife "Go look through the window and see what the neighbors are doing". The wife goes to the window, and sees the sephardic neighbors being chased around the table by one of the members of the family holding a stick, (to reenact the shibud mitzrayim). Shocked, the wife goes back to the table. Her husband asks "So nu, what were they doing?" "I'm not telling", she responds. "Why not", he asks, "just tell me?" "No! I'm not telling you!" The argument progresses to a screaming match until eventually, the husband is holding the broom and chasing his wife around the table. In tears, she asks him "If you already knew what to do, why did you ask me to go look through the window?"
Who do you think you are fooling? You think you are going to pull a quick one on your Creator? Good luck with that.
JTZ

Offline davidmal

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #88 on: July 26, 2016, 06:43:43 PM »
This is great
-DMC
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it ~Ferris Bueller"

Offline avadah

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #89 on: June 14, 2017, 02:23:21 PM »
Trying to remember a joke about a Rabbi who only has one speech on pars has korach and pulls it off to say it every week. Anyone know it?

Offline davidmal

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #90 on: June 14, 2017, 02:30:08 PM »
Trying to remember a joke about a Rabbi who only has one speech on pars has korach and pulls it off to say it every week. Anyone know it?
I know what your talking about.
I'm not sure if it was the one where his dog was named Korach....
-DMC
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it ~Ferris Bueller"

Offline avadah

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #91 on: June 14, 2017, 02:38:14 PM »
No. Something like he would drop his glasses every week  and say they fell  down by korach.

Offline davidmal

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #92 on: June 14, 2017, 02:38:45 PM »
No. Something like he would drop his glasses every week  and say they fell  down by korach.
nope.
-DMC
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it ~Ferris Bueller"

Offline yitrap

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #93 on: June 14, 2017, 02:59:06 PM »
Trying to remember a joke about a Rabbi who only has one speech on pars has korach and pulls it off to say it every week. Anyone know it?
He'd walk in and all his papers would scatter over the floor, when everyone bent down to pick them up he said "oh this looks like the scene by Korach speaking of Korach...."

Offline chaimmayer

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #94 on: June 14, 2017, 04:39:21 PM »
Version I heard was after he dropped the papers he'd say cursed be koach and all rashaim
Oib mredt shoin vegan korach - if we're talking about korach already....

Offline avadah

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #95 on: June 14, 2017, 05:58:03 PM »
Thanks guys.

Offline myi

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #96 on: March 03, 2019, 01:46:26 AM »
Any more jokes?
Any good vort for parshas Vayakhel and the MISHKAN, and building one's home?
Thanks
If still interested, have a beautiful one for this past week and can be used for the coming week.

 Will try to put it together.
Don't try to be someone else , be who you are because everyone else is taken.

Offline cmey

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #97 on: March 03, 2019, 09:04:06 AM »
How about the one about the chosson who meets his friend shortly after getting married. The friends asks “how’s marriage treating you”? “Well, she really worships me”, he answers. “How so?” Asks the friend. “Well, she’s always bringing me these burnt offerings”.

Offline davidmal

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #98 on: March 28, 2019, 04:29:56 PM »
A man tells his friend he's thinking of divorcing his wife.
"We just don't communicate anymore. She hasn't spoke to me in weeks."
"Think it over," his friend advises. "A woman like that is hard to find."

+1
-DMC
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it ~Ferris Bueller"

Offline cmey

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #99 on: March 28, 2019, 05:53:15 PM »
Chazal  tell us כל הנהנה מסעודת חתן ואינו משמחו עובר בחמישה קולות
It’s a very difficult thing to be misameach the חתן properly.
That’s leaves us with only one other option: the speeches during sheva berachos to take away the הנאה.

Just in case the speaker has הנאה we make sure to line up other speakers to take care of his הנאה too....