Author Topic: joke for sheva brachot  (Read 52008 times)

Offline aygart

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #80 on: February 19, 2014, 04:10:05 PM »
I think it's in perek 1 of brachos - עובר בחמישה קולות
that ain't a lav
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline SamKey

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #81 on: February 20, 2014, 11:09:37 AM »
Why was Bilam's donkey of the ten things created erev Shabbos?
They needed someone to speak at Sheva Berachos

Offline whacked1

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #82 on: June 20, 2014, 12:11:58 AM »
Bumping this thread, I need some good jokes for my friends aufruf this week.

Offline Joe4007

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #83 on: June 20, 2014, 12:49:09 AM »
Bumping this thread, I need some good jokes for my friends aufruf this week.
Check out this thread.

Offline davidmal

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #84 on: July 26, 2016, 06:43:43 PM »
This is great
-DMC
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it ~Ferris Bueller"

Offline avadah

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #85 on: June 14, 2017, 02:23:21 PM »
Trying to remember a joke about a Rabbi who only has one speech on pars has korach and pulls it off to say it every week. Anyone know it?

Offline davidmal

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #86 on: June 14, 2017, 02:30:08 PM »
Trying to remember a joke about a Rabbi who only has one speech on pars has korach and pulls it off to say it every week. Anyone know it?
I know what your talking about.
I'm not sure if it was the one where his dog was named Korach....
-DMC
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it ~Ferris Bueller"

Offline avadah

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #87 on: June 14, 2017, 02:38:14 PM »
No. Something like he would drop his glasses every week  and say they fell  down by korach.

Offline davidmal

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #88 on: June 14, 2017, 02:38:45 PM »
No. Something like he would drop his glasses every week  and say they fell  down by korach.
nope.
-DMC
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it ~Ferris Bueller"

Offline yitrap

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #89 on: June 14, 2017, 02:59:06 PM »
Trying to remember a joke about a Rabbi who only has one speech on pars has korach and pulls it off to say it every week. Anyone know it?
He'd walk in and all his papers would scatter over the floor, when everyone bent down to pick them up he said "oh this looks like the scene by Korach speaking of Korach...."

Offline chaimmayer

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #90 on: June 14, 2017, 04:39:21 PM »
Version I heard was after he dropped the papers he'd say cursed be koach and all rashaim
Oib mredt shoin vegan korach - if we're talking about korach already....

Offline avadah

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #91 on: June 14, 2017, 05:58:03 PM »
Thanks guys.

Online myi

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #92 on: March 03, 2019, 01:46:26 AM »
Any more jokes?
Any good vort for parshas Vayakhel and the MISHKAN, and building one's home?
Thanks
If still interested, have a beautiful one for this past week and can be used for the coming week.

 Will try to put it together.
Don't try to be someone else , be who you are because everyone else is taken.

Offline cmey

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #93 on: March 03, 2019, 09:04:06 AM »
How about the one about the chosson who meets his friend shortly after getting married. The friends asks “how’s marriage treating you”? “Well, she really worships me”, he answers. “How so?” Asks the friend. “Well, she’s always bringing me these burnt offerings”.

Offline davidmal

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #94 on: March 28, 2019, 04:29:56 PM »
A man tells his friend he's thinking of divorcing his wife.
"We just don't communicate anymore. She hasn't spoke to me in weeks."
"Think it over," his friend advises. "A woman like that is hard to find."

+1
-DMC
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it ~Ferris Bueller"

Offline cmey

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #95 on: March 28, 2019, 05:53:15 PM »
Chazal  tell us כל הנהנה מסעודת חתן ואינו משמחו עובר בחמישה קולות
It’s a very difficult thing to be misameach the חתן properly.
That’s leaves us with only one other option: the speeches during sheva berachos to take away the הנאה.

Just in case the speaker has הנאה we make sure to line up other speakers to take care of his הנאה too....

Offline S209

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #96 on: August 14, 2019, 04:38:02 PM »
Vaeschanan, anyone?
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Offline Yonah

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #97 on: August 16, 2019, 12:32:21 PM »
" It says that we are each born with a half a neshama, and then when we get married, both half-souls unite into one unit. So the wife when she gets married becomes complete, and the husband when he gets married is finished."

Offline TimT

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Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #98 on: August 16, 2019, 12:52:51 PM »
It’s been well established that the wife is always right while the husband is always wrong. So when a man tells his wife “you’re right” is he right or wrong ?