Author Topic: joke for sheva brachot  (Read 52587 times)

Offline Dan

  • Administrator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime 50K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 60660
  • Total likes: 7972
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 16442
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: CLE
  • Programs: UA Global Services, AA Lifetime Plat, DL Dirt, SPG Plat, Hyatt Diamond, Fairmont Lifetime Plat, Hilton Diamond, Priority Club Plat, Avis Chairman, National EE, Hertz PC
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #20 on: February 07, 2011, 06:22:27 PM »
i think it was also a joke. note "i love her in laws" = his own parents
hehe, went right over my head.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline Avid Reader

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 4027
  • Total likes: 12
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
  • Location: NYC
  • Programs: Starwood Gold, Accor Gold, Hilton Gold, Hertz Five Star Gold, Marriott Silver, National Executive
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #21 on: February 07, 2011, 09:56:00 PM »
A Rov is asked to say a few words at a Bar Mitzva of one of his Shull goers. They asks for five minutes max.
The Rov says he can't talk because he forgot to bring his teeth. So someone runs to the Rov's house, pics up the teeth, and comes back. The Rov then get's up and starts speaking, first 5 minutes, then 10, 20, 30... he finally steps down after an hour. When the Bar mitzva was over the father of the boy asks the Rov why did you speak so long, we gave you five minutes max? The Rov scratches his head and says Oy, the guy brought me my wife's teeth.

Online Crazy tools

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jan 2010
  • Posts: 2229
  • Total likes: 20
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Programs: United Club, Avis Presidents, Hertz Presidents Circle, National Executive Elite, SPG Gold
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #22 on: February 08, 2011, 02:57:47 PM »
To be said by the kallah's brother,
     Being that the chosson will be learning he needs a wife that will be machshiv Torah, I can tell you that my sister the kallah is very machshiv torah, because every time I come home for an off shabbos she's quick to ask me "when are you going back to yeshiva"

Offline daastorah

  • Dansdeals Bronze Elite
  • *
  • Join Date: Jan 2009
  • Posts: 40
  • Total likes: 0
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #23 on: February 13, 2011, 01:05:02 AM »
Joe lieberman ran for vice president in 2000, after losing the election to bush he came home terribly bothered.
his wife calmly told him dont worry Joe in this house you will always be vice president!

Offline mancunian

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jul 2008
  • Posts: 1254
  • Total likes: 11
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #24 on: February 13, 2011, 01:26:22 AM »
is the kala kimoves thing the whole joke? or is there a punch line i'm not getting?

Offline smurf

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Sep 2010
  • Posts: 4394
  • Total likes: 7
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 8
    • View Profile
  • Location: NJ
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #25 on: February 13, 2011, 01:59:51 AM »
is the kala kimoves thing the whole joke? or is there a punch line i'm not getting?
the word should be read "kallah kamois shehu" the joke is to misread it as kallah kamoves

Offline MarkS

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Dec 2009
  • Posts: 3747
  • Total likes: 30
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 5
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #26 on: February 13, 2011, 09:43:42 AM »
Chazal say that a Chosson is 'Domeh L'Melech'. The question is, why only 'Domeh'? Who is a real Melech?

Well, it seems that a Bochur is a TRUE Melech. He can come and go as he pleases and doesn't have to answer up to anyone.
Once he's engaged he is only 'Domeh L'Melech because while he is still single, his liberties are in the process of being taken away.

After marriage it's completely over and he's now a simple regular person!

Offline MarkS

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Dec 2009
  • Posts: 3747
  • Total likes: 30
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 5
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #27 on: February 13, 2011, 09:47:51 AM »
They say marriage is not as great as Bochurim make it out to be;
and not as terrible as married men say it is!


Marriage is not as bad as people say it is -  it's actually a whole lot worse!


Offline moish

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 9764
  • Total likes: 138
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Programs: AA LT Plat, Avis, SPG Plat
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #28 on: February 13, 2011, 10:18:33 AM »
going on a trip with a friend - double the fun, half the price
going on a trip with a wife - double the price, half the fun

Offline mancunian

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jul 2008
  • Posts: 1254
  • Total likes: 11
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #29 on: February 13, 2011, 06:57:33 PM »
the word should be read "kallah kamois shehu" the joke is to misread it as kallah kamoves
ah

Offline danielz

  • Dansdeals Silver Elite
  • **
  • Join Date: Mar 2010
  • Posts: 91
  • Total likes: 2
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #30 on: February 13, 2011, 08:43:32 PM »
I did post a link to the gemara.

Offline mancunian

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jul 2008
  • Posts: 1254
  • Total likes: 11
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #31 on: February 13, 2011, 09:10:35 PM »
it was late at night ;)

Offline SuperFlyer

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jul 2009
  • Posts: 8815
  • Total likes: 110
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #32 on: February 14, 2011, 01:15:03 AM »
A guy said: we got married before the war.

The war started after we got married.

Offline Avid Reader

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 4027
  • Total likes: 12
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
  • Location: NYC
  • Programs: Starwood Gold, Accor Gold, Hilton Gold, Hertz Five Star Gold, Marriott Silver, National Executive
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #33 on: February 14, 2011, 11:48:59 AM »
A 30 year old girl comes to a Shadchan and tells her sob story. Whenever she found a guy she liked, her father would always find something wrong with him. So the Shadchan asks what did he find wrong with the last three? So she says one was too tall, one was too short and one had bad breath. So the Shadchan says I think your father is really being bothered by something else. Try to find a guy that is similar to your fathers personality and that should solve the problem.
A year later the girl bumps into the Shadchan again, still single. She asks the girl did you follow my advice? The girl says yes, I found someone just like my father and he was ready to let me marry him, but now my mother didn't like him.

Offline how

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jun 2010
  • Posts: 1849
  • Total likes: 50
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 6
    • View Profile
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #34 on: February 19, 2011, 02:23:54 PM »
Chazal say that a Chosson is 'Domeh L'Melech'. The question is, why only 'Domeh'? Who is a real Melech?
Chosson is 'Domeh L'Melech' The Kallah she is the real Melech!!!

Offline moish

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 9764
  • Total likes: 138
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Programs: AA LT Plat, Avis, SPG Plat
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #35 on: February 19, 2011, 02:47:46 PM »
people with a somewhat command of the hebrew language wouldnt find that funny

Offline how

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jun 2010
  • Posts: 1849
  • Total likes: 50
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 6
    • View Profile
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #36 on: February 19, 2011, 03:44:33 PM »
most people would understand domeh as like a king but not exactly king. If your audience is that clueless then they never heard of the saying either

Offline moish

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 9764
  • Total likes: 138
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Programs: AA LT Plat, Avis, SPG Plat
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #37 on: February 19, 2011, 05:28:30 PM »
i dont understand what you are referring to, but i was talking about calling the kallah a melech when the word melech is inherently male.
i personally find it ridiculous and unfunny, but thats just me

Offline Yordai Dooma

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 4188
  • Total likes: 44
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 16
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Programs: AA EXP/LT Platinum, SPG gold, Hyatt Globalist, IHG Platinum Ambassador, Hilton Gold, Marriott Gold, Hertz PC, National EE,
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #38 on: February 19, 2011, 08:13:20 PM »
i dont understand what you are referring to, but i was talking about calling the kallah a melech when the word melech is inherently male.
i personally find it ridiculous and unfunny, but thats just me
+1

Offline smurf

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Sep 2010
  • Posts: 4394
  • Total likes: 7
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 8
    • View Profile
  • Location: NJ
Re: joke for sheva brachot
« Reply #39 on: February 19, 2011, 08:21:32 PM »
Chosson is 'Domeh L'Melech' The Kallah she is the real Melech!!!
i believe the joke goes,
Why is a chosson only domeh l'melech? Because as a bochur he's a melech as a husband he's an eved as a chosson he's domeh l'melech.