The announcements on flights to or from JNB are the stuff of legend. I need to search old family email groups to try remember some of the gems.
Same FA: "you must put your shoes back on now!"
After parking and getting connected to the jetbridge, the seatbelt sign switching off, and everyone standing up to get their stuff: "everyone sit right back down now! This is against regulations! You'll have plenty of time to get your things later!"