Without futher ado, a TR by
Mrs. AJK with limited input from me:
Although most people who know AJK and myself would scoff at the notion that we didn’t even really intend to go away on this trip, that is the actual truth. I know, I know. I can already see you guys rolling your eyes. “Yes, somehow you accidentally ended up in Bora Bora. Happens to me all the time.” But, truthfully we didn’t really see this trip coming. AJK had booked these tickets way back in December 2014 to squeeze one last trip out of the Delta award chart before it changed. He figured that when November 2015 came, we’d either be able to make it happen or his beautifully laid flight plans would never come to fruition, though he would still receive the satisfaction of having created a flight booking beautiful enough to make Dan cry tears of pride.
Due to some work commitments, as the dates for this trip drew closer, we had resigned ourselves to simply appreciating the complexity with which AJK had created the routing--we likely would only be able to get away for a weekend to the Caribbean. At the last minute, however, we threw caution to the wind (and possibly our jobs along with that caution) (just kidding) (we hope) and we decided to just make this happen. This was four days before we were supposed to leave. After some last-minute rearranging of work schedules and bribing of bosses, it seemed that this trip may actually happen. So, as I mentioned earlier this trip kind of did surprise us. In the best kind of way.
Our day of departure dawned a drizzly and gray day in New York, and AJK headed off to show his face for one more day at the office prior to disappearing for a bit. I did some last-minute trip prep. (Considering it was all last minute, I did all our trip prep that morning.) After picking up AJK at the office around 3:30 PM, we left to make our 6:05 Delta flight from JFK.
The Delta One (DL's new marketing nomenclature for business) check-in located in Terminal 4 is a relatively new and updated experience. The check-in desks are situated all the way to the right side of T4 in a little alcove that has some seating and plenty of complimentary water bottles which is a nice touch.
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[
AJK: "Flying premium pays." You heard it here first. Due to the inclement weather and traffic, we arrived at JFK <60 mins to departure. Normally, such an egregious error would result in the check-in agent saying, "sorry, you missed the cutoff to check bags, you'll have to go standby on the next flight." Well, no such bad news here. While the DL agent did note out loud that we were under the 60 mins cutuff, she dutifully took our bags and that was that. Could have been a big issue considering our somewhat tight connection to PPT.]
After check-in, we "zipped through" TSA precheck and went to scope out the lounge. [
AJK: Gotta love when the line for TSA Pre is as long as non-expedited ]
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The Delta lounge is thoroughly modern with long escalators depositing you at the lounge check-in desk. There is plenty of seating, shower rooms, and an outdoor seating area appropriately called the “sky deck.” Seeing as the sky deck was closed for the evening [
AJK: Come on! Shouldn't it be my choice if I wanna duck outside and get wet? Anyway, I took a picture through the glass.], we just looked around.
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After a few minutes in the lounge, we went to the gate.
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The Delta business configuration on this internationally configured 767-300-ER widebody is 1-2-1. And we were met with Tumi amenity kits which is cool. [
AJK: Sorry, the cabin pic below was taken upon deplaning--didn't board in enough time to take a cabin picture upon boarding without it being very awkward...]
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Both AJK and myself immediately felt that this layout leaves you feeling a little exposed, especially compared to the layout of United lie-flat business. The seats don’t have any kind of curvature around the side to protect you from crazy Dan’s Deals fans or stalkers. (A bigger problem than you might think.) The seats themselves are roomy and the design of the cabin feels very modern, but we both felt that the cabin lacked privacy.
[
AJK: You know how they say that, operationally, DL is the best airline? Well, I agree. In addition to getting the small things right, about 10 mins before departure, the Captain came back to the business class cabin and made an announcement thanking everyone in business class for their patronage. I don't fly as often as some of you folks, but that's the first time I'd seen something like that and I think it was a fantastic touch.]
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Service was quick and efficient. [AJK: First came snacks. I don't remember what the drink was, but those cashews (OU) were quite good!]
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The evening KSML (Borenstein) was served on real china with actual silverware, which was nice even if the food itself was nothing special. [AJK: I dunno, maybe it was indeed nothing special, but I thought the chicken was pretty good.]
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We both rested a bit having gotten minimal sleep the night before. The lie-flat seats + the Westin sleep collection bedding=phenomenal. Unless you plan on investing in some of this bedding in your own home, it may be better not to tempt yourself. Just ask them to bring you some of the itchy wool blankets and flattened pillows they usually provide in coach.
We landed a little early at LAX, and, having interlined our luggage, we just took our carry-ons and walked the ten minute walk over to the Tom Bradley International Airport Terminal.
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Here is where the main reason I married AJK is exposed. Some of you may think that as a travel junkie, I just latched on to the guy because he can travel around the world in first class. That part definitely doesn’t hurt, but truthfully the real reason is because he enjoys eating great food as much as I do. Having a two-hour stopover in LA is shining opportunity in AJK’s eyes, and I couldn’t agree more.
Within ten minutes of finding the Air France counter and checking for our flight to Bora Bora, AJK’s phone beeped and he went outside to the curb. He walked back in carrying a bag that smelled pretty much like what I imagine Gan Eden will smell like. Thanks to the kindness of a fellow DDF-er [
AJK: Thanks Yehoshua!] in helping with some coordination details, AJK had arranged for an uber to pick up an order from Beverly Hills Thai and deliver it to TBIT. Side note: for those of you who love good food and who aren’t terrified of food that you might not be able to pronounce, then next time you’re in LA do yourself a favor and try out this restaurant. I’m not Thai so I can’t promise the authenticity of the dishes, but I can tell you that it is the closest thing to real Thai food that we have in the kosher world. I base this on the fact that if you are a restaurant that calls itself Thai/Chinese or whatever cuisine it may be and you also serve sushi like 99% of all Jewish restaurants, you’re dead in my book.
Air France Sky Priority Check-In:
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We raced through security with our bag of treasure wafting out a smell so delicious that we looked a little like the Pied Piper with plenty of people being drawn to the wonderful smell of the food. We lost those hangers-on and dashed towards the Korean Lounge, the lounge that Air France uses in TBIT.
The lounge, on a floor above the main terminal, is very pretty and spacious with seating both in an indoor area and in an outdoor terrace area that overlooks the inside of the TBIT.
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[AJK: When we arrived, the lounge was very full, but by the time we left half hour later, the lounge had emptied out as the KE flight had departed. These pics were taken afterwards.]
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The outside portion of the lounge, which we much preferred [Borrowed from OMAAT.]
Now to the food. We ordered two chicken satays, basically spiced and grilled chicken with a delicious peanut sauce and something called drunken noodles. Drunken noodles are a special type of Thai noodle tossed with chilies, basil, tomatoes and a spicy drunken sauce. Don’t ask me what makes it drunken, just go try it yourself. I guarantee you won’t even care what the answer to that question is.
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A word about the Tom Bradley International Terminal itself. Most international terminals in America are pretty much stuck in a time warp. No offense to the 50’s, a great decade I’m certain, but not great enough that all our international terminals need to stay looking like it’s still the Eisenhower administration.
Compare any international terminal in the US to one overseas in Asia (or to a lesser extent Europe) and it’s downright embarrassing. That is, until now. This terminal holds its own. Like other world-leading terminals, it's filled with luxury boutiques that no one actually buys anything from. (Let’s be honest here. Who comes to the airport and all of a sudden realizes there’s no way they can get on a flight without a new $5,000 Hermes bag? Not me certainly [
AJK: Thank Gd!], but maybe some of you. In which case, get off Dan’s Deals and save the deals for those of us who actually need them k? thanks.)
The terminal is open, spacious, and feels like you’re already overseas before you’ve taken off. It has a very international vibe to it and a great energy.
TBIT's "totem poles":
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After a delicious dinner, we walked over to the boarding gate and headed onto our Air France flight to Papeete.
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[
AJK: Boy do I love separate boarding doors...!]
Although AJK and some of you in the know will say that the business class on this Air France route is old and outdated [
AJK: Because it is... the new AF business class it was not.], I thought it was quite comfortable and the décor, while not the most gorgeous I’ve ever seen, was elegant and provided one with more privacy than the previous Delta flight. (I have nothing to hide, I just value my privacy, ok?)
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[
AJK: I'd say it was beginning to show it's age, but that fact has probably been true for years...]
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It is a large business class, but the service was timely and the flight attendants were quite attentive (as their name suggests they should be). The seats in this business class are angle-lie flat--not completely flat--but they were very comfortable and undoubtedly a better way to spend an 8 hour red-eye flight than squished in <gasp> coach.
We both slept the majority of the flight and only awakened about an hour and half away from Papeete when they turned the cabin lights on.
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Not sure why they woke everyone up so early, but maybe French people take longer to get ready for landing than us Americans.
There is not much to see when landing on Papeete. The view flying in is mostly water and then a few palm trees near the runway. Due to a small snafu having to do with a misplaced camera lid, we deplaned with some of the last people left on the flight. [
AJK: Seriously, anyone with the Sony Alpha line should understand this irritating eventuality, but why in the world did Sony not include a string to attach the lens cap to the camera?! This boggles the mind and frustrates me to no end.]
[AJK: AFAIK, all boarding and deplaning in PPT is done with remote stands, so, as usual, we were met with mobile air stairs and off we walked to customs.]
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The TN plane we'd take to AKL in about a week:
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The lid snafu placed us squarely towards the back of the customs line which was being serviced by all of two customs agents. Not the most efficient of systems, especially when its already 90 degrees at 6 am and the airport has no air conditioning, but then again no one is asking for my opinions on the efficiency of the Papeete Airport Systems. (However, should some of you be interested, there are my opinions.)
[AJK: To be fair, PPT airport had signs saying they were under construction and therefore customs would be slower. But, I'm still not sure what the construction had to do with their only being 2 customs agents...]After waiting in line for about 45 minutes, we eventually reached the customs agent. AJK dutifully handed over his passport to the gentleman sitting inside the glass cubicle as is the custom when one reaches a customs agent.
The agent opened up the passport and lifted up his stamp preparing to slam it down on an empty spot. Except... his eyes bugged out a little and his jaw opened. He put down his stamp and started to flip through the passport, this time with quite some intensity. He was going to find an empty spot dag nab it. Unfortunately for him, AJK had acquired this passport at the same time he acquired the knowledge of DDF so the amount of open space left in this passport was limited. After flipping through each page carefully, the customs agent finally found his spot and claimed it with a loud and aggressive stamping job marking his territory in AJK’s passport.
We headed to the one baggage carousel slowly moving around and quickly claimed our luggage. While neither of us quite cared that our suitcases had arrived, we both zeroed in on a navy, rectangular shaped piece as if we were drug dealers and our mother lode of smuggled cocaine lay inside. (Refer back to my earlier confession about my feelings regarding food to understand that this was our cooler containing 14 carefully chosen frozen pomegranate meals.)
Having once previously made the mistake of going on a trip to Fiji and thinking, “hey, I can last 5 days on PB&J and pringles,” bringing quality food is now a must have when I travel. (In AJK’s defense, that Fiji trip was in pre-AJK days, as he would never have let that happen.) Let’s just say that by the time day five of my Fiji trip rolled around, I was literally standing in the water with a spear, foaming at the mouth, delirious with hunger, hoping to harpoon some living, breathing thing that wasn’t a jar of peanut butter or a pringle. Never again.
Thankfully, for
everyone involved, our cooler and all our meals made it safely, as did our other suitcases. We rolled everything outside, and a two minute walk away to the domestic Air Tahiti check-in counters.
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We braced ourselves for the sticker shock. Having encountered a similar experience flying from MLE to the island upon which the
Constance Halveli was situated, we prepared ourselves to put down a small down payment for the luxury of checking in a third bag.
Seeing as there is usually only one or two small airlines flying to these little islands, they can charge you and arm, a leg and usually one or two other appendages for overweight and/or extra pieces of luggage.
We walked up to the counter and checked in our first two pieces. The lady behind the counter then asked if we were divers. AJK, ever the circumspect one, answered in the affirmative but asked why. (We both had became PADI certified divers on our trip to MLE.)
Apparently, being PADI certified allows you 5 extra kg each on Air Tahiti because they assume you will be taking diving equipment with you. While, I don’t know that short ribs and eggplant rollitini counts as diving equipement
per se, I wasn’t going to let her know that. So she quickly deducted 10 kg from our overweight allowance and we happily paid the $4.50 for the remaining extra 2 kg.
After passing through a teeny metal detector where you were allowed to keep your shoes, overcoats, dentures and dignity intact we walked into a little waiting area. Obviously the Air Tahiti agents are posing a great danger to the aviation world by not being as thorough as our competent TSA agents.
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While most people in the waiting area were laid back, relaxed and already in vacation mode. AJK was in planning mode. (FYI-this is the natural mode of the AJK species.) Apparently, as you fly into BOB, the views from one side of the plane are spectacular (the left side) while there are basically no views from the other side (the right). Seeing as it was a little prop plane [
AJK: an ATR-72 to be exact] the seats on the “correct” side would be in limited supply.
Due to the flight being a “first come first serve” seat assignment, one would need to board early to ensure a seat on the good side. Not willing to bank on the fact that the other passengers weren’t trying to throw us off our game by pretending to be all relaxed, we confirmed it was the left side of the plane we wanted and pretended to nonchalantly amble over to the boarding line quite a bit before boarding started.
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A line quickly formed behind us as people tried to figure out what we knew that they didn’t. We snagged ourselves two seats on the left side in the front of the plane and prepared to enjoy the 40 minute flight.
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About 30 minutes into the flight, great, green mountains rise up out of the sparkling waters of the Pacific and Bora Bora comes into view. It really is worth getting in line five minutes early and being on the left side. You are treated to a view of the over water bungalows and Mt. Otemanu that is pretty much what you would get to see if you paid $500 for the sightseeing helicopters in Bora Bora.
First a video and then some pictures. [AJK: The whole video (less about 2 mins) is worth watching but the good stuff--BOB--starts at about a minute in.]
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