This is my first Trip Report, so go easy on me. It won't be on the same level as some of the more famous posters' reports, but I hope you will enjoy! Feel free to give me constructive criticism and ideas for our next trip!
IntroductionAs a private school teacher, DW gets plenty of days off (i.e. yuntiff, yeshiva week, summer), but doesn’t have a lot of flexibility in terms of when she can take them. Fortunately for us, this means we have a lot of flexibility to plan summer vacations. Unfortunately for us, I am too busy at work to take off during Yeshiva week, so that period is off limits for most trips. We do try to take minications between Christmas and New Years’, and that is how this trip came about. Oh, and that time period coincides with DW’s birthday (this year being a milestone one).
Hence, our birthdaycation to Paris
We had decided to go to Paris before the November terrorist attacks, but did not seriously consider changing our plans thereafter. Paris is probably more safe than Times Square, where I work, so I only thought twice about it, not more.
PlanningThanks to the
BA AARP and
BA OSL deals, we booked two round trips between December and June on BA/AA in business class (yes, we plan on going back to Europe in June). Our average total cost for each RT was ~$500 + 15k Avios, a steal for flights that we’ll be accruing 20k-40k miles on. The catch was we needed to book a separate one ways to CDG and a positioning flight to OSL. Additionally, thanks to ExpertFlyer, we were able to upgrade the LHR-EWR leg of our itinerary to BA F on their 777. Here is what our final flight itinerary looked like:
Wed PM: JFK-LHR (AA 77W J)
Th AM: LHR-CDG (BA A319 Y)
Sun PM: ORY-OSL (DY 738 Y)
Mon AM: OSL-LHR (BA A320 J)
Mon PM: LHR-EWR (BA 777 F)
I’ve never been to Paris before, so we made sure to plan the touristy spots in our itinerary. And by we, I mean DW, as she did all of the activity planning
.
Travel to ParisThe day did not start off well for me. While waiting for the bus to NYC to get to work, the handle to my carry-on luggage broke. I ran home, drove to Target, bought a new carry on, transferred my luggage, and ubered to the closest NJ Transit station. Thankfully, that’s the only issue we had with bags the entire trip. One thing about suitcases: they are incredibly cheap online but that is not the case in stores. I paid more for this "American Tourister" spinner than I did for the Samsonite spinner 18 months ago. And, before you ask, yes - I did purchase the Samsonite bag with an Amex.
My old suitcase 
This used to be my favorite store. Alas, other stores have replaced it in this category
My new suitcase 
Despite the fact that EWR is a more convenient airport for us, we decided to leave from JFK to try out the AA 77W. Little did we know that this decision would come to bite us. We were scheduled to have an unofficial 2-hour connection in LHR. By unofficial, I mean that our connecting flight was on a separate PNR, so if we miss the flight to LHR, it would be a nightmare to rebook us to CDG (though the DY positioning flight was even more risky, as it wasn’t with a OW carrier). So, it was crucial that we make the flight from JFK. We planned for this.
DW and I traveled to JFK separately from work; DW booked an uber from NJ and I took the subway from NY. Even though DW left >3 hours to get to JFK, which is typically more than enough time to make a flight without checking bags, the traffic to JFK was absolutely horrendous. At 90 minutes prior to our scheduled departure time, DW was still in Staten Island. At 45 minutes, DW was stuck in Far Rockaway (the Belt was even worse). We were freaking out and I was concocting ways to delay the flight without getting in too much trouble
(there should be a master thread on this). A minor delay would have been nice, but too much of a delay would have jeopardized our chances at making our connection to CDG. Thankfully, 15 minutes prior to our scheduled departure time, DW arrived at JFK, zipped through security (thanks to TSA+), and made it on the flight a few minutes before they closed the boarding door.
I should have asked this guy to deliver some food to the airport, as it would definitely have been better than the BorenStink meal that AA serves from JFK
DW had a spectacular Uber driver that got a speeding ticket and drove in the shoulder to make it to JFK literally as soon as possible. 6 stars!
Still in Far Rockaway!!!
Just in the nick of time 
The AA 77W is possibly the best business class product offered by a US-based airline. The seats are lie flat in a 1-2-1 configuration with direct aisle access, and the footwell is large enough for someone like me to sleep comfortably. Also, at 25 inches, the seats are pretty wide for business class. The cabin also has wifi service, but that service unfortunately is not provided by GoGo
. We were both exhausted and slept for a significant portion of the flight to London (the BorenStink meal wasn’t worth waiting for). Then, we dashed to make our connection.
AA 77W J seat
Ample legroom
The weather outside JFK was frightful, but our flight left just a few minutes late; how delightful!
Heathrow is my least favorite airport because of how long its lines are and because of how long it takes to get anywhere (HNL is actually my #2). We had to transfer from T3 to T5 by bus (~20 minutes) and then clear immigration and security. Heathrow’s “Fast Track” lane is a nice way of saying “you paid more for your ticket,” but IME does not actually speed up your airport experience. Oftentimes the Fast Track security line is longer than the standard line (as we experienced during our return). It took us around 45 minutes to clear immigration and security and we spent the remaining 30 minutes until our connecting flight in the BA First Class lounge (unfortunately, it was too early for blue label). At 11 AM on Thursday, we finally arrived in Paris, and I changed from my velvet kippa into a Yankees baseball cap (the only baseball cap I own).
BA A319. Don't judge me because I (occasionally) travel in Y
ParisI’m a huge fan of Uber and am one of their bigger customers. I use it a lot for work and take well over 100 paid trips a year. Uber often is my go-to option from airports, but unfortunately, Uber charges a flat rate of 45€ from CDG to where we were staying. Instead, we took the Roissybus to Opera for 11€ each and walked the 3 blocks to our hotel.
We stayed at the Park Hyatt Paris-Vendôme, one of the seven Category 7 hotels in the Hyatt portfolio, for three nights (combination of award and CC signup night). Unfortunately, due to recent Hyatt devaluations, suite and cash & points awards are no longer as good of a deal at this property as they once were, so we could not confirm a suite upgrade. Expedia let me book 8 suites online when we landed at CDG, so I was hopeful that they would upgrade me as a diamond member coming for DW’s birthday. They did upgrade us, but not to a suite (they claimed only executive suites were available and were unwilling to upgrade us to one).
Overall, the hotel is wonderful. Rooms are tastefully decorated, beds are comfortable, service is top-notch, and DW’s favorite: the bathrooms have heated floors! Also, the rooms are very Shabbos friendly, and with the help of some scotch tape and the back entrance/exit of the hotel, we were all set to leave the room to go to shul or for a walk on Shabbos. While I’d never shell out the $900 the hotel was charging for the same paid stay, it’s still a decent value @ 30,000 points (or using CC sign-up nights).
Not a suite, but a pretty nice room nonetheless
Nice courtyard view, which I'd prefer to an exterior facing room
Bread, croissants, and non-kosher hot chocolate. Not the freshest, but hey, it's free
I'll keep this comment rated PG and end here
Vendôme Place
One of the best things about Paris is it's a very bike friendly city. Many roads have designated bike lanes.
Velib', Paris's bike sharing program, is cheap and all over the city. Their short-term rental rates are 1.7€ a day with the first 30 minutes of each ride free. Rates for additional time are 1€ for the next 30 minutes. If you need the bike for more time, you can return it and get a new one from another station. It takes around 10 minutes to bike from the Park Hyatt to Les Marais.
Now that's a lot of bike stations
Good luck taking your NYC Citibike north of 85th street
Now I don't feel bad skipping the hotel gym 
Are you allowed to take a selfie while biking???
Of the museums, we only visited Musée d'Orsay, but we did walk/bike around the other major landmarks
Musée du Louvre
Musée d'OrsayThey declined my offer for this painting
Unfortunately, I won't be posting any pictures from this exposition here
The devil herself
Thomas Jefferson, in pose
Anyone wanna play risk?
Eiffel Tower during light show
How cute!
Brilliant advertising. Because who wants to wait in line for a Ferris wheel when you can drive a Lamborghini???
On second thought, I'd rather wait on line for a Ferris wheel than drive down Champs-Élysées in that traffic
From the Eiffel Tower
From the roof of Galeries Lafayette, where we enjoyed some Häagen-Dazs
Arch de Triomphe
La Madeleine, where they were playing one of my favorite pieces of classical music. Unfortunately for us, it is a church.
Was able to catch a nice shot of the Opera building before heading to the airport
We walked around Montmartre, a neighborhood situated on the top of a hill known for its artists. Despite what you might think, the name means "mountain of the martyr" and has nothing to do with its art.
Because how can you go to Paris/Montmarte without stopping by a Starbucks
No, we lazied and took the train up. We did walk down the steps, though, and that has to count for something 
Of course, we also visited (and ate in) Les Marais. Unfortunately, there were no glatt options of the Steak Frites special to be found
Les Marais: The first place that I had the pleasure of telling a lubavitch guy that "I already put on my tefillin today" 
"I'll take a margarita Pizza, a coke, and an Artscroll Mishna for dessert"
We highly recommend L'Inté Caffé, a 10-15 minute walk from the Park Hyatt. The food and service were excellent (to be fair, my order was plain spaghetti and cheese
. Also, they accommodated us even though they weren't technically open.
This is the most beautiful cappaciano I've ever seen. And it tasted that good
No restaurant can call itself a restaurant without a sorbet dessert
As you can see, DW and I have different tastes in desserts
When DW and I stay over shabbos at a hotel, we typically eat in. This time, we decided it would be nice to eat out, and we signed up for Friday night dinner at the Chabad of Champs-Élysées and Shabbos day lunch at a Rabbi's house. Both meals were wonderful, though we were a bit frightened when at Champs-Élysées, a stern-faced policeman with his finger on the gun trigger interrupted our meal to take attendance, as more people were at the table than had signed up.
A night in OSLWe had to stay overnight in OSL to catch our BA flight home (the crazy things we’ll do for a cheaper ticket). The cheapest flight I could find was a Norwegian flight from ORY to OSL on Sunday night. We took the RER B line to Antony and connected to the Orlyval ORY (air)train for a total cost of ~12€. Due to an announcement made only in French, the train we were on skipped our stop and went to the trainyard for 5-10 minutes (it felt much longer). We ended up getting to where we needed to go, but let me tell you, ORY gives LGA a run for its money. First, they wouldn't accept the mobile boarding pass DY sent us, claiming it wasn't a boarding pass. Second, there were narrow corridors and areas under construction throughout the entire terminal. Third, during preboarding, we were sequestered in a small room (we were definitely over the occupancy limit) while the incoming flight deplaned, when they could have easily waited until the plane was ready to board until starting the boarding process.
I don't have any pictures to share, but I was impressed by the Norwegian flight. I didn't realize that they only permit "small" personal items and was afraid they'd make DW and I pay a mighty sum for our backpacks. They may have given us angry stares, but they didn't try to charge us. The seats were fine for Y. Also, they provided free wifi on the flight, but (literally) everything else they charged for, even for water.
I'd love to take a proper trip to Oslo, either in the summer to see the mountains or in the winter to see the northern lights (anyone in???). I actually considered extending the Oslo portion of this trip to spend a day in Tromsø, but decided it wouldn't be worth the risk that the day ends up being just 24 hours of darkness (the sun next rises in Tromso on January 15th), especially considering we would be traveling close to the full mean.
I looked for an adequate but cheap hotel near the airport and found the Thon Hotel Oslo Airport, a member of Global Hotel Alliance's Discovery program, of which I am a Black (top-tier) member. I love GHA for their Omni chain, which may treat its elites better than any other chain does. At Omni hotels, I am entitled to a 2+ upgrade upon arrival as well as a confirmed suite upgrade on award nights. At Thon hotels, I am entitled to only a single upgrade, but I was sure they'd upgrade me as there were loads of upgraded rooms available at the hotel. When we arrived at the hotel, I was very disappointed. Not because it took 30 minutes to check in. Not because they insisted that there were no upgraded rooms available multiple times until I pulled up their site and showed them that it let me book many upgraded rooms (their basic room is tiny). Immediately afterward, an upgraded room magically opened up. Not because there is no concept of service at the hotel. Not because we weren't able to reach anyone at the 24/7 reception desk for a replacement to the battery in our TV remote after literally 20 calls over 30 minutes. Not because the mattresses in the room were thick mattress pads. Not because the hotel is an airport hotel but has no free transportation to the airport. Well actually, because of all the above items. The hotel is bare-bones basic and I'm not sure it met my requirement of being "adequate." However, at 695 NOK ($80), you get what you pay for. At least it was clean, and at least the bed didn't bite.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
Just kidding, that's from the Park Hyatt
Back to EWRWe flew BA "J" from OSL-LHR. Now this is what I call living large:
Well, the bread was good
I found the Oslo airport nice and clean, especially compared to the third-world-country airport in NYC. There is only one terminal (for now), but the international section of the terminal has a separate outbound immigration clearance before the international gates. So, it is important to keep this in mind when deciding when to leave the lounge.
There are two lounges in the airport:
We had access to the OSL lounge, which has the better reviews, and I found the lounge to be great. It was tastefully decorated, warm, very quiet (good place to daven), and had a nice selection of (non-kosher) foods.
OSL Lounge
Oh, and I found the duty free prices at OSL to be pretty decent.
One thing that I've never seen before: A gang of photographers set up outside the barbed wire. SF, are you there?
Good thing we're not on this plane
This picture pretty much sums up BA's customer service. "We're here to help."
We relaxed for an hour in the Concorde Room, BA's lounge exclusive to passengers traveling in first class. The main entrance to this lounge is adjacent to the 5A South security checkpoint on the second level. I'm a big fan of this lounge. It is tastefully decorated, was not too crowded, and boasts a number of amenities. It has a luggage room, premium bar (stocked with Johnny Walker Blue Label, Glenfiddich 19 (special edition), Glenlivet 18, a nice collection of bourbons, and more), dining booths with kosher meal options, and private cabanas (by reservation). It also is adjacent to the Elemis spa.
Concorde Room
Surprisingly good Hermolis salmon meal
We flew on BA's 777 in F to EWR. While BA isn't in the same league as many of the Asian and middle east carriers, I found their F product to be impressive and well worth the 20k avios upgrade cost. The seats are comfortable and very sleepable. They provide you with ample comfortable bedding, including sheets blankets, throws, and pillows. The window seats have a very large storage closet. Additionally, there is an ottoman that seats one with a seatbelt opposite the main seat.
Food was a delicious Hermolis ribeye, along with a fish appetizer and dessert that I didn't touch
Ample closet space within window seats, with enough room to fit a backpack inside. Aisle seats have smaller closets
BA F pajamas
BA F amenity kit
And I almost forgot:
Good night!
The s(t)inkhole that is EWR
Upon arrival, I forgot my duty free bag and backtracked from customs to the plane, only to end up on the wrong plane
. That's all of the story that I'll say here, but that bottle better be good
