Lakewood Planning Board attorney basically saying that "if the zoning permits it, there obviously won't be any traffic problems."
This after the Planning Board keeps changing zones in Master Plans and gives non-stop variances to anyone who wants one.
Yeah, not so much...
That's not at all what he's saying. The use is already permitted in that zone, and you can't reject an application solely due to a permitted use, even if you think it will turn out to badly. In other words, he's blaming it on poorly planned (or very well planned, depending who you ask) zoning ordinances that allows these uses without requiring parking, and furthermore for placing this property in that zone.
It's not the attorney's job to determine whether there will be any traffic problems, his job is to uphold the law as it applies in Lakewood.