Weekly Torah Thoughts

[lechatchileh ariber]

did you get anything today from them?

Yes. Thank you.

[Work-for-ur-muny]

 

PORTION INSIGHTS – DO YOURSELF A FAVOR

               An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer of his plans to leave the house-building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife, enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but age and health were not on his side.                    The boss was sorry to see his good worker go but asked the elderly man for a favor. “I am very short on staff right now, and I really need your help one last time. Would you be able to build me one more house in the new projects on Mason Street?” The carpenter didn’t want to do it, but after much prodding and being offered a nice compensation, he went to speak it over with his wife. The carpenter’s wife told her husband, “Your boss employed you for 40 years, so show him appreciation and do one last favor for him. The carpenter reluctantly agreed, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and didn’t reinforce the foundation as well. Instead of using his best materials, he dug up some old materials and opted to use them. When the carpenter finished his work and the boss came to inspect the house, the boss handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This house," he explained, "is my retirement gift to you. Enjoy!"                                   
         Anyone who’s ever gotten (or asked) for a favor will attest to the fact that actions done out of a favor aren’t the exactly the greatest. A favor-doer will often cut corners, will expect a tremendous - if not unattainable - amount of gratitude from the receiver, and maybe even anticipate a favor in return. It comes out that asking for/taking favors don’t lead to really “favorable” results.                                                 
***                                                                               
           This week’s portion, Terumah, discusses the construction of the Mishkan, a Sanctuary for Hashem to dwell in this world that was originally transported as the Jewish people wandered the desert. One of the items in the Mishkan/Tabernacle was the “Aron” – Ark – which the Levites carried by its poles: “And you shall insert the poles into the rings alongside the Ark, to carry the Ark.” (Shemos 25:14) To those who observed the scene, it appeared as though the Levites transported the Ark on their own power. However, the Ark was pretty heavy (some estimate over 5,000 pounds) since it contained a dense amount of gold and was simply too heavy for four people to naturally carry.               
            Upon some investigation, we find that the Talmud (Sotah 35b) tells us that in reality the “Ark carried its bearers.” At first glance, this equation doesn’t seem to add up. It would make more sense for the Ark to be constructed with lighter materials, or, to let everyone see clearly that the Ark is “self-movable” and people have nothing to do with its transport! But no, writes, the Rambam in his Code (Vessels of the Sanctuary Ch. 2, 11-12):“When the Ark is transported from place to place, it is not to be transported on an animal or wagons; rather, it is a Mitzvah (stated openly in Bamidbar 7:9) to carry it on the shoulders.”  How do we make sense of this instruction?                                                      To fully understand, we need to turn to the Book of Shmuel II (6:6) which discusses the celebration-turned-tragedy when the Jewish people got the Ark back from the Pelishtim. King David placed the Ark on a cart (which the Halachah prohibits). When the oxen who were pulling the cart stumbled, the Ark appeared like it was about to fall.
            Immediately, a righteous man named Uzzah sprang into action and put his hand on the Ark in an apparent effort to prevent it from tumbling. The very next verse (Shmuel II, 6:7) relates that Hashem’s anger was kindled against Uzzah and he was struck dead as a result of his actions. What was Uzzah’s error and why did it warrant the “Heavenly death penalty?"                                 ***                                                                                               
                Let us suggest the following insight, based on a class given by Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky. There are two ways to approach our relationship with Our Creator. One way is to look at Avodas Hashem (Divine Service) is as a “tax” that’s meant to be paid having been created. People reason, “Hashem wants me to get out of bed at 6 AM to pray to Him for an hour? No problem – after all, I am really grateful for the life He has given me, so it’s a small price to get up early. I will do Hashem a ‘favor’ in return for His endless amount of favors.” Or, “Hashem wants me to bring Him Karbonos (Sacrifices) to appease His anger after I sin? OK, so I’ll give up a cow – it’s worth the hassle of schlepping it and offering it up.” This approach, obviously, is fundamentally flawed. How can one suggest that Hashem is missing something and NEEDS our service, or that He, in any way, shape or form benefits from any Mitzvos we do?                                                               Hashem is Perfect, which means He lacks nothing and gains nothing from anything we do. Because He “wired” us, Hashem tells us that when we perform His Mitzvos, we’ll gain tremendously. The Braysa D’Middos (#2) teaches that all the “sacrifices” Jews bring are our own sake, in order to feel gratitude to Him (along with repaying our vows). This message is implied when our portion (Shemos 25:2) begins with the instruction for the people to “take for Me (Hashem) an offering.” Why not say “give (Va’yitnu)” instead of “take (Va’yikhu)”? Because when we give to Hashem, we’re the biggest beneficiaries of all. This is how Avraham Avinu was able to bring himself to offer his precious son, Yitzhak Avinu, as a Karbon. He knew that whatever Hashem does is for the best of the person, as Rabbi Akiva teaches (Talmud, Berachos 60b), "everything Hashem does is for the good."                                                                             Uzzah, on his elevated level, should’ve realized that the Ark doesn’t NEED him and according to the Talmud (ibid.) should’ve arrived at that reality through a “Kal V’Chomer” (“fortiori” argument): if the Ark can lift its bearers, how much more so, it is able to lift itself! Uzzah’s action seemed to reflect a mundane attitude towards the Ark (and by extension all holy matters) - an attitude that overstates a person’s “importance” in the bigger scheme of things. Had Uzzah remained alive, perhaps people would actually think that they are the ones doing Hashem a favor when they do His Will!                                                                                                This could be another way to understand the teaching (Avos 2:4): “כרצונך רצונו עשה”.  The simple interpretation of the words is “Make His (G-d's) Will like your will, (so that He will make your will like His will).” In sum, do what Hashem wants. But this Mishnah may also be hinting at the idea we’re developing: do His will like it’s best for you! Don’t treat Divine Service like you’re doing Hashem the favor, when in reality you’re doing yourself a favor.             ***                                                                                               
          Rather, a Jew’s approach to Divine Service should be that it’s a Zechus - a privilege to serve Hashem. When the King, the Master of the Universe, tells us to do something, we should feel such a sense of honor that we do the Mitzvah with tremendous energy and passion. It’s not a burden or favor to G-d to get up at 6 A.M. to pray; it’s an opportunity we’re so thrilled and blessed to have!               
          The same applies to interpersonal Mitzvos. Let’s say someone needs a ride (and we’ve ascertained it’s safe to let them in). Instead of thinking how righteous we are, we should feel so great that we have a chance to be useful. When a poor person is standing at our door and collecting for himself (and we’ve ascertained his legitimacy), we should feel beyond blessed that we have been given the chance to do the Mitzvah of Tzedakah/charity (not to mention being grateful that we aren’t the ones in such need).           
           Having the attitude that we are the biggest beneficiaries of our actions transforms our lives in many ways. We become happier because we feel very lucky. These feelings also foster a sense of gratitude and humility in our minds.                 
            Moreover, this kind of mindset can positively affect others. People who are forced to “take” often feel very uncomfortable in that kind of role. When we communicate to them in that they’re doing us the favor, we are able to help them preserve their dignity.  Of course, many recipients may not believe us if we’re not smiling at them when we give or worse, not looking at them at all. In order for them to truly believe that they’re doing us the favor, we have to really believe it first. If we’re having a hard time feeling that, let us remember the opening story and remind ourselves that how we act will determine the quality of where we will dwell forever.    On that note, thank you for reading – you’re doing us a huge favor!

TORAH QUESTION OF THE WEEK by Rabbi M.D.Weiss
In this week’s portion we read that the Menorah was placed in the south and the Shulchan in the north of the Mishkan. What connection might this have to the way one should position himself during prayer?           
   ***                                                                                     
            In last week’s portion we read that one who wounds one of his parents incurs the death penalty (even if he doesn’t kill them). Is one permitted to perform a medical procedure on a parent if it will make the parent bleed?                                                                                    The Talmud (Sanhedrin 84b) questions whether a son may wound his parent for medical purposes. The Talmud quotes Rav Masna and Rav Dimi bar Chinina who say it is permitted and the prohibition is only when it’s not for medical purpose. Then, the Talmud says that Rav would not allow his son to remove a thorn that got stuck in his skin, lest in the process he cause his father to bleed (albeit unintentionally). For the same reason, Mar (the son of Ravina) wouldn’t allow his son to open a burn to remove the puss.           
   The Rambam understands that there is no argument here; rather, it depends on who’s available. If there is someone else who can heal one’s father and ease his pain, it is better to be treated by someone else in order for the son to avoid wounding his father. But if no one else is around to heal the father, then the son is permitted to do it himself. (See Beis Yosef Y. D. 241 regarding the opinion of the Rif).                                                                           
              Indeed, the Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 241:3) writes, “If one’s father (or mother) had a thorn stuck one should not remove it lest he causes a wound. Also, one shouldn’t remove blood from his parent for medical purposes and not amputate a limb even for healing them.” The Rema comments: This is only when someone else is available, but if no one else is available and the parent is in pain then the son may perform the procedure.                                 
         The Shevet HaLevi (Chelek 2, Siman 112:3) wonders the following with regard to drawing blood: “If someone other than the son/daughter stuck the needle into the vein of one’s parent and started to draw blood, can the child complete the drawing of the blood?” The presumption to permit it is that the wound is already there. Still, the Shevet HaLevi concludes that since the son may cause the needle to go deeper - and cause somewhat of a bigger wound - it would seem that this, too, is forbidden. The Minchas Shlomo (siman 79, Tinyana) writes that the same Halachah would apply to Bris Milah. For instance, if one is a Mohel and, for some reason, his father is uncircumcised, the son should not perform the Bris - unless no one else is available to perform it.                                                               
            In Teshuvos V’Hanhogos (Chelek 2, Siman 443), the author discusses a case where a non-observant father demanded his Ba’al Teshuvah son to perform surgery on him even though someone else was available and as capable as the son. He rules that in that specific case, it’d be permitted since the father was not observant and if the son wouldn’t perform the surgery, it would cause the father to get upset and might endanger his health.  A Rav should be consulted for final rulings. Note: Last week, we erroneously stated that one cannot create an image of clouds. There is actually no prohibition in doing so. Torah’s Sweets Weekly regrets the mistake.

SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK
                 It was a cold Chicago winter night back in early 1951. The State of Israel Bonds annual dinner was hosting none other than Prime Minister David Ben-Gurion as the guest of honor and featured speaker. The ballroom was packed. The non-kosher event attracted members of Chicago's wealthiest business and professional secular Jewish leadership, all who braved the frigid temperatures to support the fledgling state. They hovered around the ballroom, offering contributions at a rapid-fire pace, while carefully balancing both their martinis and checkbooks.
                There was nary a yarmulke in sight. However, one individual, who stood in a corner of the massive lobby, outside the ballroom, was markedly unique. He wore a long dark caftan and sported a large black fedora. His beard encircled a face that was lined with the creases of hours of Torah study. His piercing eyes darted about the scene, observing the philanthropic flurry of activity. An ancient relic tucked in the corner of a sea of modernity, he stood stoically, observing the entire scenario, a slight smile emanating from his lips.
                He was about to leave the hotel and return to the Yeshiva at which he taught when a loud voice boomed from behind him. "Rabbi Mendel Kaplan! What bring you to the Israeli Bonds Dinner?"
                Rav Mendel turned around. He stood face to face with one of Chicago’s wealthiest philanthropists. Though a very secular Jew, the man was still a major supporter of the Yeshiva at which Rabbi Kaplan was employed. Rabbi Kaplan was known in the Yeshiva as quite a zealous individual who disapproved of many of the policies surrounding the Labor party and the Prime Minister, and so, baffled, the man continued his mocking inquisition.                                   
                   "Surely you did not come to pay your respects to the Prime Minister and join us in this event!" He added sarcastically. Then he broke into a wider grin. "I am positive you did not come here to partake in a little shellfish!" The man let out a chuckle. Rav Kaplan did not return the tease. Instead, his answer was open, honest, and quite blunt. "I came here for one reason," he began, "to stand and watch how the children of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob stand in line in order to give charity."
           Comment: So many people “take the bait” and predictably get sucked into arguments which cause more issues than they resolve. A wise man is able to re-frame any conversation into one with a positive feel. (Story from R’Mordechai Kamenetsky) 

SUGARY SAYING OF THE WEEK:

“The crown of kingship (Malchus) and riches can only be called a crown if it is directed by the Torah.”
- Rabbi Moshe Feinstein (in Darash Moshe) explains that the crown mentioned by the Shulchan represents the crown of Malchus and riches because it’s opposite the Menorah, which is symbolic of the "guiding light” of the Torah.
SPONSORED BY ANONYMOUS AS A REFUAH SHELEIMAH FOR TINOK BEN CHAYA RIVKAH AND ZEV MORDECHAI BEN CHANA

[Work-for-ur-muny]

Tetzaveh -- Stand Up for Put-Downs

A man was speeding down the freeway when he was stopped by a police car and had to pull over. "Do you realize you were doing 80 M.P.H. in a 60 M.P.H. zone, sir?" asked the policeman.
            "That's impossible, sir, I never break the speed limit," replied the driver.  The driver's wife piped in and said, "Yes, you do! I'm always telling you to keep your speed down." The policeman continued, "I also noticed, sir that you didn't have your seat belt on. You put it on as I was walking over to your car."
            “That is not true, sir; I always wear my seat belt," came the response.
            "No, you don't, I'm always telling you to put your seat belt on," the driver's wife cut in. The man finally exploded at his passenger and blurted out, "can't you, just for once, keep your mouth closed?"
            The policeman, taken aback by the husband’s rudeness inquired, "Madam, does he often speak to you like this?"
            "Oh, no, officer," she quipped, "only when he's drunk!"                                                                              We all know people who are unable to keep a secret. Worse still is when that secret gets us in trouble. In Torah law, some of the harshest titles are reserved for “snitches.” A Moser, one who gives up another Jew to the authorities in order to be killed or hit - or even gives over his fellow's property to the Gentiles - doesn't receive a share in the World to Come, writes the Rambam (Hilchos Teshuvah 3:6). Furthermore, one is permitted to kill an informer (Choshen Mishpat 388:10). Everyone knows that being a mole is cowardly, but why is there such an extreme consequence for tattling?
            ***

This week's portion, Tetzaveh, is famous for being the only portion in which Moshe's name isn't mentioned (since his arrival on the scene). This is obviously no accident. The omission of Moshe’s name has a back-story. When Moshe pleaded with Hashem to spare the Jewish people from Divine Retribution for their involvement in the Golden Calf, Moshe told Hashem, "If you wipe them away, then erase me from Your book!" (Shemos 32:32) Moshe's “heroics” worked to save the Jewish people, but it also led to the fulfillment of his “threat,” as the rule goes, “A Tzaddik (righteous man) decrees, and Hashem fulfills” (Talmud, Ta’anis 23a).                  Many questions can be raised from Moshe’s ultimatum, but one lesson that jumps out – and is worth examining – is how Moshe's "defended” the Jewish people, even when they were guilty of a crime and deserved to be eliminated. Moshe’s approach is one that not only every leader, but every person needs to take heed of, as the Torah instructs us, “All Jews are responsible for one another” (Talmud, Shavous 39a), and, “If I am for me, what am I?” (Avos 1:14). Even though the Jewish people sinned with building a Golden Calf, Moshe implored Hashem to allow them to do Teshuvah (repent) for their misdeeds.                                         
   The Talmud (Berachos 10a) relates that the great Tanna, Rabbi Meir, was being pestered by neighborhood thugs. Desperate for a way to escape their harassment, Rabbi Meir decided that drastic measures were called for. He decided to pray that the ruffians would die. But Bruriah, his wife, wasn’t pleased with this solution.
     She quoted to her husband a teaching in Psalms, “Let sins be uprooted from the earth, and the wicked be no more” (Tehillim 104:35). “It doesn’t say ‘let the sinners be uprooted,’” Bruriah pointed out. “It says ‘Let the sins be uprooted.’ You shouldn’t pray that these thugs should die; instead, pray that they should repent! And then, automatically, ‘the wicked will be no more.’”        This approach applies specifically to the area of Chinuch (child-raising). A child may misbehave, and usually the father will “reprove” him. It’s at those times that the mother will come to the defense of the wayward child and lessen the severity/intensity of the father’s penalty for the child. In general, anyone who has authority should be mindful to use it to intervene when others are being overly criticized, admonished, or made fun of.             
  ***                                                                             
             If we’re supposed to “vouch” for Jews who have erred, how much more so should we stand up for innocent people who are being insulted and we witness or hear of their humiliation. Sometimes, people aren’t able to stand up for themselves due to low self-esteem. Other times, they’re simply incapable of protecting themselves because they are weaker than the attacker, either by position (employee, student, child), or by status (orphan, widow, poor person). And then, there is the loftiest level for one not to respond insults: he or she is practicing the motto of, “he who tolerates insults is like the sun in its strength” (Talmud, Gittin 36b). Being insulted may not bother them, but standing by while someone gets shamed is a violation on us, as the Torah says, “Don’t stand idly by while your friend’s blood is being spilled.” (Vayikrah 19:16). Furthermore, we know that oftentimes, “silence is a form of approval” (Talmud, Bava Metzia 37a). As philosopher Edmund Burke said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”         
It’s crucial to note that if we are afraid that standing up for someone will pose a danger for us, we are not free to mind our own business. We should find a person who can intervene and successfully “defend” the innocent party, whether it be a Rabbi/mentor, a friend of the “attacker,” or anyone with the wherewithal to reason with the bully and stop him in his tracks.               
***                                                                                           
If we are required to defend innocent people, how much more so should we come to the defense of Torah scholars. The Talmud (Bava Metzia 84a) relates the story of Rabbi Elazar Ben Shimon who instructed his wife before he died," You shall leave me in the attic and do not be afraid of me." (See the Talmud if you want the background ). Rabbi Elazar’s wife followed his wishes and kept him in the attic for nearaly two decades after his death. She would ascend to the attic every day to examine his hair to see if he would decay and once found a worm in his ear. This disturbed her greatly until he appeared to her that night in a dream and explained, “It is nothing to be upset about for this is a punishment for my having allowed a young scholar to be insulted in my presence.”                                                       
           When we hear someone criticize a Torah scholar, we absolutely MUST speak up. We need to make sure, first and foremost, that all listeners or bystanders know that attacking Torah scholars is a really, really despicable thing to do. If the attackers are actually open to accepting a solution to their gripes (which is highly unlikely), we can suggest that they write a respectful letter to the Rabbi, detailing what they have an issue with.                         
    Additionally, some people have the terrible practice of frequenting various online “blogs,” where Torah-true Rabbis or worse, Gedolim (leaders of the generation) are bashed on a regular basis. This pastime is toxic because even if we never pass that information on, our respect for Torah scholars will definitely be compromised            just by reading the vitriolic comments posted.       Finally, there are times that one hears people speak poorly of Judaism or, G-d Forbid, Hashem. This often comes from the self-appointed atheists, or individuals who went off the “Derech” (the Torah-observant lifestyle). Most of these people are bitter and nothing we tell them will soften their stance. Despite what they claim, they’re not interested in discovering the Torah’s authenticity. They will not accept any response for why the Holocaust occurred – because they’re not really asking questions. With such folk, it’s better not to waste our energy and tell them, straight-up, that all their talk is nothing more than a ploy for attention and inform them that one day, they will be answerable for the effects their remarks made. Still, we are taught to know what to answer a heretic (Avos 2:16) in case one is truly searching for answers.   
     ***                                                                                               
 We learn that all “Israel has a share in World to Come” (Sanhedrin 90a). But when one becomes an informer either actively, or passively - by not defending other Jews in times of crisis -he effectively unhinges his wagon from the destiny of the Jewish people and loses connection to their true Protector.

TORAH QUESTION OF THE WEEK by Rabbi M.D.Weiss
The Talmud (Berachos 57a) tells us that one who sees olive oil in a dream should expect to merit the light (wisdom) of the Torah. Also, Tractate Horiyos (13b ) states that one who regularly eats olive oil will remember his learning, while one who eats olives regularly will forget his learning. Is the Talmud’s warning regarding the causes of forgetting just good advice or is it actually forbidden?                ***                                                                   
      In last week’s portion, we read that the Menorah was placed in the south and the Shulchan in the north of the Mishkan. We asked, “what connection might this have to the way one should position himself during prayer?”                                                                                                   
The Talmud (Bava Basra 25b) tells us in the name of R’ Yitzchok that if one wants to acquire wisdom, he should pray facing south, whereas one who wants riches should pray facing north. The Talmud explains that the Menorah’s placement in the south is a sign of south being the direction connected to wisdom. The reason is that the light of the Menorah symbolizes the “light of the Torah.” The Shulchan (Table with the bread) represented financial prosperity. Its position at the north side of the Mishkan (Tabernacle) is a sign that the direction of north has some connection to riches. However, there is a difficulty with claiming that one can face north or south. In the Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 94, based on the Talmud in Berachos), we are told that when praying, one is required to face Eretz Yisroel and focus on Yerushalayim, the Beis Hamikdash, and Kodesh Kedoshim (Holy of Holies). And therefore, we, who are to the west of Eretz Yisroel, are to face east. If so, how can one face north/south?                                                                                                             
  There are two approaches that can help us reconcile this issue. The Rema (94:2) says that one who wants to fulfill the aforementioned statement of facing south/north for either wisdom or riches should turn his face to the east. This implies that one’s feet should be positioned towards north/south, while his face is turned towards the east. This way, a person ends up fulfilling both concepts at once. The Mishnah Berurah tells us that Rashi’s position on the matter is the opposite, implying that one's feet are to be positioned towards east and his face turned towards north/south. The Chafetz Chaim concludes that this, in fact, is the accepted custom. He adds in the name of the Pri Megadim that in a case a shul was built facing southeast, one would fulfill both concepts by praying in a straight position. The Medrash tells us that the Aron (Holy Ark) brought down the "light of Torah" to the world, yet we face the Menorah when hoping for wisdom of Torah.                                                             
The Netziv explains (on Parshas Tetzaveh) that the Aron brought the light of the Written Torah, but the Menorah represented the Oral Torah - the depth and wisdom of the Torah. Thus, when praying for wisdom we face the Menorah (see Chumash Medrash Halachah). The Mateh Moshe offers a novel insight of the Talmud’s statement, “One who wants wisdom should face south.” He explains allegorically: Wisdom is dependent on a person's good character and the way he gets along with others. As such, one who wants wisdom should follow the ways of Avraham Avinu, who was involved in kindness towards others and was forgiving. In fact, Avraham is referred to as “south,” as the Torah tells us that all his travels were towards the south (Bereishis 12:9).          As always, please consult a Rav for all final rulings.

SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK

            A certain group of students were learning in a Yeshiva in Israel where false philosophies flourished. These students knew that the only way to convince their fellow students of the folly of such attitudes was to speak against the Rabbis who championed such opinions. But they wondered if this was Halachically permitted. After all, talking against a Torah scholar is a very serious sin (see Feature Insights). To their surprise, when they went to the Chazon Ish, OB”M, and asked him if this was permitted, he refused to answer them. They decided to return a second time but the Rav was silent yet again. On their third visit, the Chazon Ish began to ask them numerous questions like, “What are your names? Where are you from? How long have you been learning?” When he was finally satisfied with their answers, he said, “In terms of the laws of a Torah scholar, although the Rabbis you have named have a position, they do not learn every free moment. The Chofetz Chaim rules that only one who knows how to learn and whose Torah study is his exclusive occupation is a Torah scholar. These people are like tailors and shoemakers that work to earn a living. If you spread negative opinions about them, you will still violate the prohibition of Loshon Horah.”             
     The Chazon Ish also explained that Rav Chaim Brisker only attended the first Agudah Convention because, during the proceedings, someone spoke against a certain communal activist, claiming that he had caused trouble. Rav Chaim immediately stood up and proclaimed, ‘It is prohibited to sit here since people speak Loshon Hara!’                                                                             Why was this Loshon Hara?” asked the Chazon Ish. “The person speaking was addressing an important concern and every word he spoke was absolutely true. It was forbidden because the person spoke in a judgmental and self-righteous manner. If the speaker at the convention had said instead, ‘Rabbosai! This person’s error has brought about a terrible problem! Let us all work together to try and rectify it!’ this would have been purposeful Loshon Horah.” The students understood.
      Comment: Before we speak negatively against anybody we need to make sure our words will lead to productive results. As such, we need to learn Loshon Horah laws regularly.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“Aharon Hakohen merited wearing the Choshen HaMishpat (breastplate) on his chest by virtue of the fact that ‘he rejoiced in his heart’ (Shemos 4:14) when he saw his younger brother Moshe return to Egypt as the newly-appointed leader of the Jewish people.”                                 
-Rav Simlai (Talmud, Shabbos 139a). How do we react when someone is doing well, especially in the position we thought we’d be in? Being happy for others isn’t easy and one has to work on it, but it’s a mindset that will pay off in the long run.

                   SPONSORED BY MR. AND MRS. SHLOMO BOKHMAN AS A MAZEL TOV ON THE BIRTH OF A  BOY. SHEP NACHAS!

[Work-for-ur-muny]

PORTION INSIGHTS– DESPERATE TIMES AND MEASURES

            Old man Murphy once purchased a lottery ticket and unbeknownst to him, won 10 million dollars. His family, however, didn’t want Murphy to get so shocked with the win that he’d have a heart attack, so they hired a therapist to ease him into the reality of his newfound fortune. The therapist approached Murphy and asked, “If I told you that you’d won a thousand dollars in the lottery, what would say?”                 
       Murphy replied, “I’d take half and give you half.”   “What if you won a hundred thousand dollars?” the therapist inquired. “I’d take half and give you half,” Murphy reiterated. “But what if you had won 10 million dollars?” the doctor asked. Murphy looked annoyed and stated, “I already told you – half for me, half for you!”     Suddenly, the therapist dropped to the floor as a result of a heart attack!                                                                                                 
    Most of the time, therapists are meant to guide people to “arrive” at the reality, as the saying goes, “half of the solution is knowing there’s a problem.” But sometimes, a person is so delusional that the only way to wake him up is through what is called, “shock therapy” (and not only of the electroconvulsive type).In shock treatment, a therapist can bluffingly advise a fighting couple to divorce in order to jolt them to change their ways.  There’s also a concept called “flooding,” when a person who has a major phobia is treated by being exposed to the phobia. For instance, if one is terrified of spiders, it’s suggested to lock him in a room with a tarantula until he calms down. The underlying theory behind flooding is that a phobia is a learned fear, and needs to be “unlearned” by exposure to that very fear.       
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             This week’s portion, Ki Sisa, finds the Jewish people in a terrible predicament. When Moshe Rabbeinu does not return when “expected” from Mount Sinai, the people build a golden calf and worship it. Hashem proposes to destroy the errant nation, but Moshe intercedes on their behalf. Then, Moshe, upon descending from the mountain with the Tablets of the testimony engraved with the Ten Commandments, actually sees the people worshipping this new idol. Immediately, he breaks the Tablets, destroys the golden calf, and has the primary culprits put to death. It is very understandable that the idol was destroyed and the instigators punished, but what exactly did Moshe gain (or teach) by breaking the Luchos (Tablets) that he worked on for forty days? 
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              Rabbi Avi Geller explains that when Moshe came down and saw the situation, he figured he’d show the Jewish people the Luchos and have a rational conversation with the Jewish people about their “intellectual” mistake. But then Moshe saw them dancing in front of the calf, emotionally involved, there was no other way to  appeal to them except by making it emotional, by taking his precious handiwork and smashing to pieces. This was, in essence, shock treatment.    Extreme approaches aren’t the solution to issues 99.9% of time, and the Rambam writes (Hilchos De'os 1:4) that with "all traits," a person should follow the "path of the middle" and not lean towards one extreme or the other. The Talmud (Berachos 5a) that teaches if one is in the “clutches” of sin, he should go and learn Torah. If that doesn’t help and temptation still nags at him, a person is advised to say Shema. And if a person still doesn’t overpower his Evil Inclination, he should think about the day of death and that eventually, he will come before the Heavenly Court. There, his life will be re-played for all to see, and that the consequences (and the embarrassment) will be unbearable.
                We can ask then, if the “reality check” of eventual death is the most powerful remedy to prevent a sin, why not start with it? Why first try other options? The answer is that a “death reminder” works only when it’s the last resort. To constantly think about death is depressing, and will lose its intended effect if overused. But there are instances when drastic measures should be taken, with regards to ourselves and to others.                                                   
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                            The Torah discusses the Nazir, a person who takes upon himself a special type of oath. He may not cut his hair, may not partake of any products of the vine, nor come into contact with the dead. He may drink no wine – not even Kiddush on Friday nights. Nor may he attend even his own mother's funeral. Is his piety commendable or fanatical? Is this the holy ideal we should all strive for? Or is the Nazir going too far – accepting upon himself a (Torah-sanctioned) oath permitting him to go just slightly beyond the edge? Rabbi Dovid Rosenfeld posits that a Nazir is not the ideal. He is an extremist. This man realizes he cannot handle his liquor. Unlike most of us, he cannot be normal about such pleasures. He cannot enjoy wine in moderation, even for a Mitzvah. He has a problem; he cannot restrain himself. And he must take drastic action. Therefore, the Torah gives him a prescription: stay away from wine. If you know your weakness, take drastic measures to work on it.                                  The same Rambam that advocates the “middle-path” adds that with regard to the trait of arrogance (Hilchos De’os 2:3), one is prohibited from conducting himself in a “middle-path” manner. As the Mishnah says (Avos 4:4): “Be extremely lowly of spirit (humble).” This is because arrogance is a trait that can easily pollute all one’s actions and motivations, disconnecting man from Hashem. As it says, Hashem “hates” the haughty (Mishlei 16:5).             
    Additionally, the Rambam writes (ibid.) that "so, too, anger is a very bad Midah, and one should go to the opposite extreme, and not become angry even about things for which it is fit to become angry." An angry person is capable of any wrongdoing in his fury, as an analysis of the most violent criminals’ emotional state prior to the committing of the crime will indicate.                         ***                                                                                         
                When to be “extreme” with regards to others is a far more complicated discussion. Still, hardly anyone would disagree that if a person’s life is in danger – like the Jewish nation’s was with the Golden Calf – doing something radical is the only way to act. If a person has gangrene in his foot, the foot must be amputated so that the disease doesn’t spread to the rest of the body and kill him. It’s only logical. Similarly, if a person is committing spiritual suicide by say, intermarrying, one cannot take a “live-and-let-live approach.” A famous story comes to mind of a Rabbi who found out that a young man was about to marry a non-Jew. Several days before the wedding, the Rabbi asked this man to come to the shul, told him to open the Ark and take out the Torah scroll. The fellow acquiesced. The Rabbi then told this young man to throw the Torah on the ground and spit on it! The young man was obviously completely dumbfounded and frozen. The Rabbi then turned to him and informed him that by marrying this girl, he’s agreeing to throw away his heritage, and as though he’s trampling the Torah. This was an example of “shock treatment” - a last-ditch effort to prevent a Jew from abandoning his roots – and was necessary.  When we come across a Jew that’s teetering on the edge of assimilation, we don’t have to asked them to throw down the Torah, but we need to act, as there’s no time to try the regular methods of dissuasion.    Furthermore, there are times when a person is engaging in very unhealthy physical behavior, such as deadly or serious addictions, and cannot see that he is being harmed. In those cases, one must do whatever he can do in order to help the person in need.
Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski, who founded the Gateway Rehabilitation Center in 1972 for drug addicts, works with young people who have become involved with narcotics and turn a deaf ear to all reasoning, suggest that parents must be taught to institute the radical "tough love." He writes, “They must say, ‘Our home is drug-free. If you continue to use drugs, you must find yourself somewhere else to live.’” It is most difficult for parents to evict their own child, but the destructive and even lethal consequence of drug use may require an extreme approach. Rabbi Twerski brings his evidence from the Haggadah, namely the way we speak to the wicked son. The Haggadah commands us to “blunt his teeth,” and not to be tolerant.                As for children who have left the fold, the radical approach (of asking them to leave) depends on the case, namely on who is being influenced in the home. It needs to be reiterated that extreme measures are never a starting point in child-rearing and in today’s world, many parents are simply not doing enough to build up their children. Instead, they over-criticize and turn their last resort/extreme methods into the norm, which is just counterproductive.

TORAH QUESTION OF THE WEEK by Rabbi M.D.Weiss   
   The Talmud (Beitzah 16a) learns from a verse in this week’s portion (Shemos  31:16) that on Shabbos one has an extra Neshamah (soul). How does this concept affect the Halachah?         
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     Last week, we asked if the Talmud’s warning regarding the causes of forgetting Torah learning just good advice or an actual prohibition?                                                                                The Talmud (Menachos 99b) teaches us that one who forgets the Torah he learned transgresses what the Torah warns in Devarim (4:9) “watch yourselves from forgetting the words of the Torah.” The Talmud concludes that this applies to one who forgets due to negligence (by wasting time and not reviewing his studies). Rav Chaim Kanievsky shlit”a in his Sefer Zikaron (which is dedicated to our topic) quotes the Elya Rabbah who says that one who consumes food that causes him to forget his learning (see Talmud Horyios 13b) transgresses the aforementioned commandment. Rav Chaim posits that his words aren’t to be taken literally; rather, he only meant that it is wise not to eat these items. He proves his point from the Sefer Chassidim.                                                                                   
        The Sefer Chassidim relates that someone once asked a sage the following, “Mice have eaten from my bread (The Talmud in Horiyos says that eating from bread that mice ate from causes one to forget his learning). Can I now eat from it”? The sage replied, “Why not”? He said, “Because I might forget my learning, and I am careful not to eat from all those that cause one to forget their learning. But now I am hungry [and wish to eat this bread].” The sage replied, “One doesn’t transgress the command of ‘not forgetting one’s learning’ only if he does so out of negligence (but not in your case). [And also] I have noticed that you aren’t involved in Torah study. Even though you have time and are able to study, you waste your time with empty people. It would be better for you not to be careful with what causes one to forget in order for you to forget all the nonsense you fill your head with.”                         
                Rav Chaim says we see from here that there is no transgression to eat these things, for otherwise the sage wouldn’t permit this fellow to eat them. Rav Chaim states that the possible reason is that it isn’t definite one will forget his learning through such consumption. Rather, it simply weakens one’s memory and he may forget his learning. He concludes that even though it isn’t forbidden, it is still proper and correct to avoid these things, as the Sages brought them up. The Magen Avraham also broaches this topic (as does the Mishnah Berurah). He adds that women, who aren’t commanded in Talmud Torah, don’t have to avoid them. But boys, even before they start to learn, should avoid the food since it may weaken their memory and cause them to forget their learning when they get older. Please consult a Rav for all final rulings.

SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK
                Rav Chaim of Sanz OB”M had a custom: he would test the local children on a monthly basis. The children would recite orally from the Mishnah or Talmud and Rav Chaim would reward them generously with sweets and money. Once a group of secular Jews decided to dupe Rav Chaim. They taught a Talmudic selection to a gentile child and reviewed it with him until he knew it perfectly. They dressed him like a Chasidic child and had him stand in line with all the other children to be tested.
                The rabbi listened to the young boy intently. The other children were puzzled: they did not remember this boy from their cheder, yet they were amazed at the remarkable fluency he displayed in reciting his piece. Rav Chaim was not impressed at all. He turned to the young man and said, "please tell your father that there are better ways to earn a few coins!" With that he dismissed the child.
                The secularists were shocked. "How did the Rabbi know?" Their curiosity forced them to approached Rav Chaim. Rav Chaim smiled as he answered them. "There are two ways to say the Talmud. One is filled with spirituality. The child's body is swaying and filled with the emotion of Torah. The other is just repetitive rote. This young man lacked the fire and the true joy that the Jewish children have when learning Torah. I knew he was not one of ours."
                Comment: The main instigators of the sin of the Golden Calf were the Eruv Rav, the mixed multitudes traveling with the Jews in the Desert. It was their lack of bashfulness (a primarily Jewish trait according to the Talmud, Yevamos 79a) that pushed the Jews to create the idol and their encouragement that got the Jews to embrace it. The point here is not to create a scapegoat for the sin – the Jews were fully responsible for their part. But, we must remember that being bashful, merciful, and kind are natural Jewish traits. If one is severely lacking in them, they are being negatively influenced by bad elements or are in need of a “heritage inspection.”
 
SUGARY SAYING OF THE WEEK

“Everyone donated a half-shekel coin (for the ‘census counting’) to show that we’re all important and at the same time, there’s always room to become even greater.”                                                                 
        - Rav Reuven Feinstein, shlit”a, addressing the Avos U’Banim at the Yeshivah of Staten Island. This delicate balance between “pride” and humility, between honoring them and being demanding of the quality of their “performance” is the overarching goal of every single parent (and person) in our generation. 

SPONSORED BY MR. AND MRS. AVRAHAM ISAKOV AS A MERIT  FOR THEIR FAMILY AND ALL OF KLAL YISROEL

[Work-for-ur-muny]

PORTION INSIGHTS- LIVING LIFE “ON THE PLEDGE”

A famous Israeli politician was running a campaign and made a certain promise of what actions he would take in issues of national concern, which where favorable to many citizens. The politician was victorious but predictably, the assurances he made prior to his election into office went unfulfilled.               
Once, an interviewer asked the politician, “Sir, you promised during your campaign to take care of these ‘issues’ before you got elected, but you haven’t done it.”                 
Without skipping a beat, the politician unabashedly replied, “Correct, but I never promised to keep my promise!” 
Even though most people would stereotype politicians as natural-born liars who don’t believe the very words that emerge from their mouths, there are some politicians who actually mean what they say (although they’re few and far between). These politicians fully plan on making true on their vows.                             For example, take Republican Presidential hopeful Ted Cruz, who has been heralded by many as “a friend of Israel” who will on day one recognize Jerusalem as the eternal, undivided capital of Israel and move the U.S. embassy to Israel’s capital city (words from his website, tedcruz.org). It’s very likely that Cruz isn’t lying, but neither was former President George W. Bush who echoed similar feelings and didn’t live up to them. Perhaps, Bush didn’t realize how many opponents there would be to his plan. Or maybe, the immediacy of such concerns took a “backseat” to more pressing considerations. Either way, making promises – for a politician or any person – can land one in some really hot water.       

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   In this week’s portion, Vayakhel, the Torah discusses the contributions to the Mishkan/Tabernacle (Shemos 35:21): "And every man whose heart lifted him and whose spirit prompted him brought the gift for G-d." We know that when someone is inspired, he gives. What revelation (Chiddush) does this information offer us?          The Chida (Rabbi Chaim Yosef Azulai) OB”M offers the following insight on this verse. The Chida says that people are often inspired to perform a certain Mitzvah. They get a letter in the mail from a family of widows and orphans, or someone who needs funds for an urgent surgery, and feel such sympathy that they are willing to send a large sum of money. Soon enough, though, the excitement to give wears off. How does the “cooling” towards giving (or giving the original amount) start?                           
          It all starts with a little procrastination. “Tomorrow,” one promises himself, “when I am doing my bills and the checkbook is out, I will write out a nice sum to this worthy cause.” Tomorrow comes and usually, one of three things happens. Either, the person writes a check out for a smaller sum than he had originally intended. It’s possible he forgets about his pledge altogether. Or, he begins to rationalize that another cause is “worthier” and reneges on his promise.                                                                   
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          Now here’s the trouble. The Torah’s language towards those who “promise but don’t deliver” isn’t kind. The Talmud (Yevamos 78b) warns that rains are withheld on the account of those who make pledges but don’t follow up. There’s also a famous Rashi (to Koheles 5:5) that brings a teaching which warns that really horrible things will happen to the family of one who makes promises and fails to keep them.  In fact, just making promises is frowned upon. The Talmud (Nedarim 22a) warns that anyone who even makes vows should be pierced by a sword.   Furthermore, breaking promises affects one’s daily conduct. Rabbi Eli Mansour adds (based on the verse in Bamidbar 30:3) that failing to fulfill one’s commitments adversely affects one’s prayers.
            After all, the “instrument” we use for prayer is the mouth, the faculty of speech. If a person misuses and “defiles” his speech by making commitments that he does not fulfill, then this mechanism is damaged and one becomes incapable of praying properly.     With all this in mind, let us now ask regarding the following scenario. Many shuls have a custom of facilitating pledges in shul in public, especially on Shabbos. The pledges obviously cannot be paid until later. Why, then, do we employ a system that sets a person up to fail? Why not have people follow the practice "Say little and do much," (Avos 1:15) and donate in an expedited and private way?                                                                                 
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                                 The Rashba offers an approach to public pledges which sheds some light on the benefits of charity giving in public. The Rashba (Teshuvos HaRashba #581, cited in the Rama to Yorei Deah 249:13) explains that when we pledge to donate in front of others, there’s a good chance we will inspire others to give, as well. Reuvein originally wasn’t going to spend a penny on a certain cause, but now that he heard Shimon is giving, he will donate, too. Levi doesn’t know much about Shimon, but he really admires Reuvein and will give because of Reuvein’s involvement.                                                               
                      Shimon could’ve kept his mouth closed and “act humble” by quietly donating after Shabbos. Instead, he publicized his deed and created a chain effect of giving, practicing the teaching of the Mishnah (Avos 4:2), “A Mitzvah leads to another Mitzvah.” And the biggest winner in such a scenario, according to the Talmud (Bava Basra 9a), is the one who got the ball rolling, as it states: “One who induces others to give is greater than the one who gives himself.”                                                                                       
         This is the reason why very humble people would agree to get an honor at “Yeshivah Dinners,” Chinese Auctions, or have their name featured on buildings or publications.   Charity/Tzedakah-giving has this contagious element about it, which should be – and is - utilized for the positive. The newest form in our days is charidy.com (no, this is not an advertisement),where a fundraising campaign is created for a 24 hour window, during which donors are asked to contribute and told that if certain amount is reached, “matchers” will triple it. This becomes a very tempting hook and many are inspired to give.                             The reason why many people make promises/pledges to help others and falter is that even when they give it’s still about themselves. A politician’s primary goal is to promote himself. Kissing adorable babies and feeding the homeless are not on the itinerary unless there’s a camera around somewhere to replay it on the evening news. On the other hand, a person who publicly announces his good deed with the additional intent to inspire others will be protected by the merits of the public.                                                     
          When it came to the Mishkan, writes the Chida, everyone followed through on their inspiration. Why? Maybe because the intent behind their “giving” was more global and altruistic in nature. After all, they helped build a house for Hashem’s Presence to reside, making the entire generation’s lives infinitely better and holier.                                                                                   
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        In conclusion, we can establish three takeaways from our discussion. One, it’s better not to give anonymously, but allow one’s name to be revealed. Those who are “allergic” to honor will be protected from being affected by it - if they have in mind that their giving should inspire others to open their wallets.                                                                                                 
          Two, we should be aware that we truly never know who is inspired to act when witnessing our actions. People are always watching. And it could be the last person you’d expect that is “moved.” Rabbi Ron Yitzhak Eisenman of Passaic converted a lady a few years back. He was curious what was behind her decision to convert and asked her. She related: “It was a hot summer day and I wasn't dressed modestly. As I was walking down the street I noticed a Jewish boy and he averted his eyes from “ogling.” I thought to myself, ‘how is it possible a person can be so above his base desires?’” This percolated in her head and led her to investigate and discover the beauty of being a Torah Jew!                       
          And the third lesson we can benefit in reviewing is that role models work best they “act” on - and don't just speak of - ideals and values. As the saying goes, "actions speak louder then words." We don’t have statistics on this, but it’s very likely that more people give at higher rates when they actually see someone giving than after they hear someone talk about the importance of giving. This is a basic approach in Chinuch (training and inspiring others) as parents train their children and teachers their students more by their behavior then by their spoken word. Let us keep these lessons in mind as we prepare to one day soon, with Hashem’s Will, build another Mishkan in the Holy Temple!

TORAH QUESTION OF THE WEEK by Rabbi M.D.Weiss     
 
The Talmud (Shabbos 97b) states the 39 Melachos (forbidden activities) of Shabbos are hinted to in the beginning of our portion. One of the forbidden labors on Shabbos is cooking. Let us ask, is there any permissible way to cook on Shabbos?                   
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Last week, we brought the Talmud (Beitzah 16a) which teaches that on Shabbos one has an extra Neshamah (soul). We then asked how this idea affects the Halachah.             
   Tosfos (Beitzah 33b) says the reason we smell Besamim (Spices) after Shabbos is for a “consolation” on the loss of the extra soul (Neshamah Yeseira) which we possessed on Shabbos. Another reason Tosfos mentions is that on Shabbos the fire of Gehenom (hell) doesn’t function. It is rekindled on Motzei Shabbos, and releases a foul odor - obviously of a spiritual type - to the world, and therefore we smell fragrance to counteract this odor. Tosfos then rejects this second reason, saying that if true, we would have to smell the Spices after Yom Tov, as the fire of Gehenom is off then, as well. As such, the Tosfos concludes, we smell the Besamim only for the first reason.                                                                         
     Tosfos then asks why we don’t smell Besamim when Yom Tov falls out on Motzei Shabbos [since we lose the extra soul on Motzei Shabbos]? Tosfos says that even though one doesn’t get an extra soul on Yom Tov, the joy (Simcha) of Yom Tov and the festive meal consoles us of the loss of the Shabbos soul.                                  The Rashbam, on the other hand, is of the opinion that even on Yom Tov we get an extra soul. According to the Rashbam, we must understand why we don’t smell Besamim after Yom Tov. There are those (Sefer Nishmas Yakov quoting Kiryas Chuna Dovid 51) who explain that the Rashbam was only referring to Yom Tov which starts after Shabbos. Then, the extra soul simply stays an extra day (Yom Tov). But, the Neshama wouldn’t “descend” for Yom Tov alone. That would explain why we don’t smell Besamim on Motzei Yom Tov.                                           
     ***
                Let us now mention a few points in connection to the extra soul from Sefer Nishmas Yakov (which is devoted to this topic). The Zohar says that when “extra souls” go back up to Heaven after Shabbos, Hashem asks them what Chiddush (novelty) they have learned in Torah. (So learn well on Shabbos!) Also, the Caff HaChaim says that one should repent before Shabbos in order to be able to accept a holy soul. The Shita Mekubetzes says that through the extra soul we are inspired to study Torah and contemplate Hashem’s Creation. For all final rulings, please consult a Halachic authority.         To get a more understanding of the concept of “extra soul”, see: Rashi Beitzah 16a and Rabbeinu Chananel and Meiri there, Shu”t Rashba 3:290.

SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK

            The daughter of Rabbi Zusia of Anipol's was engaged. As poor as he was, Reb Zusia and his wife scraped together enough money for a seamstress to sew a beautiful gown for the bride-to-be. After a month the gown was ready, and Reb Zusia's wife went with her bundle of rubles to the home of the seamstress to get the finished gown. She came home empty-handed. "Where is the gown?" asked both the Rebbe and his daughter, almost in unison.
                "Well," said his wife, "I did a mitzvah. When I came to pick up the gown, I saw tears in the eyes of the seamstress. I asked her why she was crying and she told me that her daughter, too, was getting married. Then she looked at the beautiful gown that she had sewn for me and sighed, "if only we could afford such beautiful material for a gown."
                Reb Zusia's wife continued: "At that moment I decided to let the seamstress have our gown as a gift!"
                Reb Zusia was delighted. The mitzvah of helping a poor bride was dear to him and he longed for the opportunity to fulfill it. But he added one question to his wife. "Did you pay her for the work she did for us?"
                "Pay her?" asked the wife, "I gave her the gown!"
                "I'm sorry," said the Rebbe. "You told me the gown was a gift. We still owe her for the weeks of work she spent for us." The Rebbitzen agreed and, in addition to the gift of the gown she compensated the seamstress for her work.                                                                             
          Comment: Rabbi Shlomo Kluger OB"M asks why the Torah singles out those did work on the Mishkan and brought offerings the next morning (Shemos 36:2-4). He explains that all those workers could've said they had done their share by working laboriously - they crafted and wove beautiful utensils in the Tabernacle. But they didn't stop there and also gave of their possessions.               
         This is once again leading by example, inspiring others to discard their various excuses and pledge to give. What a lesson! (Thanks to Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky for the story and the insight.)

SUGARY SAYING OF THE WEEK:
“Forgiveness is when a relationship is refreshed as if it was never blemished to begin with.”   
         -The Rambam writes that the commandment to build the Tabernacle was issued before the Sin of the Golden Calf.  As such, why is recounting of that debacle placed in the middle of the Mishkan instructions? It’s to teach us that the Jewish people gained complete forgiveness after the sin, which meant Hashem “reverted” to the original relationship with them (heard from Rav Isbee OB”M). What a crucial lesson for us! If we forgive someone, we can’t refer to their “errors” ever again, nor let it affect our interactions with the “forgiven” party. Otherwise, it’s not “forgiveness.”

SPONSORED BY MR. AND MRS. MOSHE SMERTENKO AS A MERIT FOR A SPEEDY RECOVERY FOR YAN BEN NUSIA

[lechatchileh ariber]

where favorable to many citizens

Were is misspelled.

[Work-for-ur-muny]

Were is misspelled.

Yes. I realized when I was rereading it. Typo that went along with the copy>paste from the email.

[Work-for-ur-muny]

PORTION INSIGHTS- SEEING THE FUTURE NOW

Approaching eighty-five years of age, Mrs. Lipkowitz finally decided it was time to give up her apartment in New York and move to Miami. She was given the name of a Florida realtor, who enthusiastically drove her all over Miami, extolling the virtues of every apartment they looked at.                                   
   "And this one, what a steal," he rhapsodized, "the investment of a lifetime. Why, in ten years it's gonna be worth three times..."   "Sonny," interrupted Mrs. Lipkowitz, "at my age I don't even buy green bananas."                                       
        Long-term planning is something that’s not on people’s minds, which may be a major issue, as the famous quip by Benjamin Franklin goes, “failing to plan is planning to fail.” Why do people fail to plan? There may be three reasons. One, people are distracted and tugged into many different directions. Two, many simply cannot think too far ahead because their drive for instant gratification and impulsive nature supersedes all. And three, some people simply don’t know and have never been taught how to live a few moves ahead, as chess-masters would say. The results of living in the moment is failed business ventures, broken homes, disease and addictions, all adding up to untold misery in our generation.                                                 
          ***                                                                   
           This week’s portion, Parshas Pekudei, tells us about Betzalel, the man who was chosen to supervise the design and construction of the Tabernacle (Mishkan). The Talmud records (Berachos 55b) the following incident: Hashem instructed Moshe to build the Tabernacle and the Ark. However, Moshe gave an instruction to Betzalel in reverse order - to build the Holy Ark, and then to construct the Tabernacle to house the Ark. But Betzalel reasoned that since the Ark is the single most important component, the Tabernacle must be built first, in order to receive the Ark. Moshe was impressed that Betzalel knew Hashem’s original blueprint and praised Betzalel by saying, “you were in the shadow of G-d (B”Tzal Kel) since you knew Hashem’s command.” (Rashi to Shemos 38:22)                              Several important questions emerge from this exchange (not the least of which is why Moshe changed the order). Let’s ask, how did Betzalel merit to such deep understanding that he respectfully “corrected” Moshe’s order? Furthermore, when talking about Betzalel (ibid.), the verse mentions him as the “son of Uri, son of Chur.” Why mention his lineage again after doing so earlier (Shemos 35:30 and other places)?  As we delve into this subject, we may just find out that these two questions answer each other.                                                                     
   ***                                                                 
       In order to appreciate Betzalel’s greatness, we have to understand how Betzalel arrived at idea that the order Moshe gave him wasn’t the one Hashem had commanded. Betzalel figured that Hashem wants us to create the same way He does (“Walk in His Ways; Devarim 28:9); he reasoned that since all the plants and animals preceded human beings in Creation – the less important should be created before the more important. In other words, since mankind is the pinnacle/focus of Creation, everything needs to be in place beforehand so that they can come in and utilize it. He knew that the holiest and most superior things are “last in deed but first in thought,” such as the day of Shabbos.
       This is why according to the Toras Moshe, Moshe Rabbeinu mentioned first that which would be built last (thusly Moshe didn’t actually change the order of building).                                                     
       Any worthwhile architect would tell you that planning ahead is crucial, so the question why Betzalel was chosen over others must be rooted in his genealogy. This is why his lineage is traced on a regular basis – in Betzalels’s spiritual DNA his grandfather, Chur implanted the ability to plan long-term. (The Sfas Emes even goes so far as to suggest that Chur’s soul was implanted into Betzalel).                                                                       
         What was Chur’s defining moment (the one through which he solidified and fortified his spiritual character)? Chur was the individual who stood up and objected vociferously to the construction of the Golden Calf. He paid for this protest with his life and the people built the Calf anyway. One would think that Chur died for nothing, but Chur was actually “investing.”         
         Throughout his life, Chur was perfecting the trait of “Ha’roeh Es Hanolad,” – “One who foresees the future.” The Mishnah (Avos 2:14) brings the teaching of Rabbi Shimon that “foreseeing the consequences of our behavior” is a trait worth cleaving to. Chur was a big Tzaddik and concluded that if he keeps quiet, the people would still use him for their evil scheme by pitching the project as follows, “Hey, Chur served at the side of Moshe and he didn’t have a problem with building the calf – why should you?” And once the idol was built and worshipped, the Jewish people’s relationship with Hashem would be compromised for many millennia to come (as it was). Chur foresaw all this and realized he had to act fast. This concept is also reflected in Chur’s name, which is actually a derivative of “Charon Af” – that Hashem will ultimately visit judgement on every living being for their decisions in this world. Similarly, Betzalel’s name means that “in the shadow.” A shadow implies that everything we do has consequences and the size of a shadow depends on where we decide to stand.                                                          ***                                                                                             And so, it would behoove us to spend some time educating ourselves about some long-term planning strategies. The first thing step is what life coach Steven Covey, in his defining work, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” calls, “begin with end in mind.” What do I want my life to look like 30 years from now?  Once a person envisions it, he can create a “personal mission statement” – in which long-term goals are outlined.                     
        In those long-term goals, there needs to be an understanding that setbacks will occur and the method through which the end goal is reached may be roundabout. For example, let’s take Chur’s father, Kalev (who imbued Chur like Chur imbued his son and grandson). Kalev was one of the spies who wanted to submit a positive report about the Land of Israel. But in order to success in his mission and actually be allowed a chance to speak by the overwhelmingly negative assembly, Kalev had to work undercover.     Likewise for us, sometimes building requires working in the opposite direction. When the Empire State Building was being built, the construction workers had to first dig five stories into the ground.                                             
           Some people may find this controversial, but “saving money” for the future expenses, such as Bar Mitzvahs and weddings, should be a priority. It may seem counterintuitive to forego splurging on vacations and other non- essential pleasures/pastimes/items in order to put away money every month that one would need 20 years down the line. However, it sure beats taking out many loans at one time later on. Yes, Hashem decides every Rosh Hashanah how much money we will “make” in the coming year, but it doesn’t mean that we have to spend all our funds at the years’ end.                            ***                                                                                           
       Finally, we should plan long-term in our spiritual/social life. We cannot expect to retain our Torah learning without continuous review. In fact, until we learn something four times, it’s not even considered learning. Furthermore, the best way to “own” our learning is set to up a system of “divide-and-conquer.” For example, the genius of Daf Yomi (learning a page of the Tamlud daily) is that one doesn’t have to be overwhelmed by the prospect of studying 2,711 double-sided pages. Each day is another page and before one knows it, a person is 25% of the way to learning Shas (Talmud). We would be remiss if we didn’t mention that pondering the lasting effects of our comments to our others is the central rule of relationships. If what we criticize about won’t be an issue down the line, why taint the connection by saying anything at all? This also goes for meddling in matters between husband-wife and parent-child. Why volunteer to get involved if those parties can usually resolve conflict on their own? Let’s use foresight to predict the effects our words will have on the future.

TORAH QUESTION OF THE WEEK by Rabbi M.D.Weiss      
Does one fulfill his obligation of Mishloach Manos on Purim by sending to a rich person something small that is not honorable enough for him and is below his dignity? Also can one fulfill his obligation by sending Mishloach Manos to his Rebbi or parent and vice versa (student or child), or does it have to be to “your equal” since it states in the Megillah, "Ish L'Reahu" - man to his friend?
            ***                                                                           
  Last week, we asked if there are any permissible way to cook on Shabbos?                                                                                       
     In Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 318:3) it states: Just as one is forbidden to cook with [the heat of] a fire, so too, one is forbidden to cook with heat secondary to fire (i.e. if something heated by a fire even if it was removed from the fire, but is still hot enough to cook with). Therefore, one cannot fry an egg with a pot that was heated with fire. The Shulchan Aruch continues: One cannot cook even with something secondary to the heat of the sun. Therefore, one shouldn’t fry an egg with a handkerchief that was heated in the sun. But, one is permitted to heat food directly in the sun. Therefore, one may place an egg in the hot sun even though it may cook there. Also one may place water in the sun to be heated.                                               
       The understanding of the aforementioned laws is as follows. By Torah law, it is forbidden to cook either over a flame or even with something that was heated by a flame. However, since cooking in the sun isn’t the conventional way of cooking, it isn’t forbidden by Torah law. Cooking in heat secondary to the sun is also not forbidden by Torah law. But the Sages forbade cooking with an item heated by the sun lest one confuse it with an item heated by a flame, which is forbidden by Torah law as we mentioned. Yet, there was no concern with allowing one to cook in the direct sun since we aren’t afraid that one would confuse the sun with a flame. This is because they are too different.                                                       
           There’s a dispute among the Rishonim as to whether something secondary to the heat of the sun - which cannot be confused with an item secondary to the heat of a flame - is also included in this decree. The example given is frying an egg on a roof that was heated by the sun. No one would confuse this with something heated by a flame since one can’t heat his roof with a flame. The Mishna Berurah (318:20) rules that one cannot fry an egg on a roof, as does the Aruch HaShulchan (318:17).                     
           There is discussion in the Poskim as to the status of water heated through solar energy by the use of solar panels. Some argue that since if the water was placed directly in the sun it would have never gotten to that degree of heat it must be that it is heated by an element secondary to the sun and is therefore forbidden. Others respond that it can still be considered heated by the sun. This is because we say that all the system does is prevent the rays of the sun from cooling down, and once it does this, it is the actual heat of the sun that heats the water. There is much more to this issue, but it is beyond the range of our discussion. See Piskei Teshuvos (318:6) for additional insights.                                                               
      As always, please consult a Rav for all final rulings.

SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK

            When Rabbi Mordechai Shapiro was visiting Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer and his Rebbetzin Baila Hinda. The Rebbetzin told Rav Mordechai a story from her childhood. “Once, I was on the train and saw the Gadol, Rav Gershon Rosenbaum coming down the aisle. Having always wanted a Berachah (blessing), I worked up the courage to stop and ask him for one. When I intercepted R’Gershon, he asked me what I wanted a blessing for. I replied that I wanted to be blessed to merit marrying a Gadol B’Yisroel – a Torah giant.”                                                   
“His reaction was, ‘I don’t think you mean it, but I wish you well.’ He then continued walking. But I started crying and was very upset that I didn’t get a blessing. Rav Gershon saw me and spoke: ‘If you really are Machshiv Torah – show honor Torah and want to marry someone like that, I bless you that it should happen!’”                                       
At this point, Rav Meltzer said that this story always amazes him because of how the blessing of such a great Rabbi didn’t come true.
                Comment: Some people like to put on a “humble show” and act like they are not great. This actually is one of the classic techniques of an egomaniac (according to the Path of the Just), since by acting with humility, one is in fact seeking/inviting praise for himself. Rav Meltzer was anything but that. It’s not that he thought low of himself. Rav Meltzer’s mindset was always fixated on growing more and more, not feeling that he has “arrived” at greatness.                               
                  When we complete a Book of the Torah (as we do this week) we proclaim “Chazak, Chazak, V’Nizchazek - be strong, be strong and we’ll be strengthened.” Why the double language? One of the answers is that these words address two types of people: those who feel they’ve who feel they’ve accomplished and those who feel they never will. Both need “strength” to see the reality, which is that one should always think: “while I may have achieved (even a lot), as long as I’m alive I’m expected to still push myself to reach higher levels of excellence.” Chazak!

SUGARY SAYING OF THE WEEK:
“One should always be attached to outside society enough to influence them, but detached enough not to allow for society’s influence to change him.”

- Rabbi Elya M. Bloch points out that there are two types of personalities - extraverts and introverts. On its own, neither style is fitting. We see that while the Aron was positioned in the Holy of Holies, one could still see the bulge of its poles from the outside. We should learn from this fact the proper balance regarding “socializing” etiquette, as well as our level of involvement in Jewish outreach. Going too far or not going far enough is not going to work.

 SPONSORED IN MEMORY OF ZAVEL YESHAYA BEN CHAIM BARUCH BY HIS BROTHER ARYEH PEARMAN AND FAMILY

[Work-for-ur-muny]

         

PURIM INSIGHTS - THE REBBI RELATIONSHIP

          Sol Sapperstein was a new teacher at the Lincoln Heights High School. Sol was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. Sol noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying, "a dollar per point." The next class the teacher handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $56 change.               
         Bribing people in positions of authority has been standard operating procedure since the concept of authority was created. It is one of the weaknesses that politicians (and all of us, really) are prone to and often get in trouble for. Sometimes, however, bribing non-Jewish officials works to our advantage and is necessary. Because of the unfair treatment and laws established to prohibit Torah observance over the centuries, we engaged in buying off these law-makers and law-enforcers. What happens, though, when a politician is already rich? This fact adds another layer of intrigue to Donald Trump as the GOP heads towards an inevitable nomination of the controversial businessman. Trump told Jewish activists at the “Republican Jewish Coalition” last December: “I don’t want your money – so you’re probably not going to support me.” Even though that was probably a negotiating tactic, let’s still ask: can a politician not prone to influence be even more dangerous than one who is?   
***                                                                                         
        In less than a week, we will be celebrating the joyous holiday of Purim and once again delving into Megillas Esther to mine its timeless lessons with the hope of applying them to the present day. One of the most fascinating storylines in the Megillah is the relationship between Mordechai and the Jews of Persia. When King Achashverosh invited the Jews to his military-victory party, the Jews obviously planned on attending because they clearly felt supporting the king is in their best interests. After all, if there’s a party in the White House with a new President and ALL the requirements for a religious atmosphere are there – kosher food, rabbinic supervision, separate seating – how can the Jews not attend? And yet, Mordechai warned the Jews not to go because the party-goers would still wind up in sinful situations.       
           We see from Mordechai’s resolve not to cave into pressure from the public (and later from a powerful demagogue Haman) what a true Torah leader is supposed to be. A real Rabbi is not supposed to be afraid of public opinion and should be able to deliver messages to his congregants/followers that may be critical in nature, so long as his sole intention is for them to grow. The Talmud (Kesubos 105b) writes that if a Torah Sage sees that people of his city love him, it does not show that he is praiseworthy. Rather, it’s that the Rav does not rebuke them in spiritual matters. As Rav Yisroel Salanter said, “A Rabbi who the people don't want to run out of town isn't a Rabbi, while a Rabbi who lets himself be run out of town isn't a man.”                                 
          In short, it seems that the Rabbinical authority shouldn’t be concerned with popularity or approval ratings, but in pushing the followers to be a better version of themselves, even (or especially) when it makes the congregants “uncomfortable.” This is why, when discussing the establishment of Torah authority figures (Shemos 18:21), Yisro suggests that one qualification should be that the candidates are “men of substance,” i.e. wealthy, so that they don’t flatter or show favoritism (Rashi on the verse), but be self-sufficient.                                                         
           Indeed, when we fast forward to the end of the Purim story, the Megillah records a major change regarding Mordechai HaTzaddik’s rapport and standing with the Jewish people.
          The verse states (10:3):“Mordechai the Jew was a minister for King Achashverosh, a great man among the Jews, and accepted by most of his brothers.” If the approval rating isn’t germane to a Torah leader/judge like we’ve established, what is the Megillah trying to teach us?             
         We actually learn two important lessons from the above verse. One is that no matter what a leader does, he will still have a “hate club.” After all that Mordechai did in saving the Jews who lived in the kingdom of Achashverosh, there were still some who were not fond of Mordechai (that’s why it says “most”)!                                                                   
          The Alshich explains that there were some members of his tribe - the tribe of Binyamin - who were disappointed with Mordechai because they wanted him to show them preferential treatment once he gained a more prominent stature (heard from Rabbi Eliezer Zwickler). But Mordechai remained with one modus operandi and one praise (Megillah, ibid.): “A man who sought good for his nation and advocated peace for all of his people.”  The other takeaway in this is that in the end, because Mordechai continued to stand his ground, no matter the “weather” around him, the majority of the people accepted him. This teaches us that if one does the right thing – even though it’s unpopular – in the end, those very same critics will come to respect him for his steadfastness.                                    ***                                                                                       
          We learn (Talmud, Shabbos 88a) that Purim was a time of accepting the Oral Torah with love. One of the ways to do that is to strengthen our relationship with the Rabbinic authority that enforces the Oral Law. As such, let us examine how we relate to the Torah leaders in our lives and how much we let them influence us.                                                                     
         Believe it or not, there are some people who prefer to daven in a Minyan where there is no Rabbi’s speech or go to a Rabbi who is more interested (or pressured) to fill the role of an entertainer and a socializer. Such folks really lose out on one of the 48 ways to accept the Torah, being an “Ohev Tochachas,” – loving rebuke (Avos 6:6). It may sound strange to “like” being criticized, but Rabbi Noach Weinberg OB”M points out that it happens all the time in business. Companies wishing to succeed will pay big money to hire consultants to tell them everything they’re doing wrong! They’ll even hang a suggestion box—and if there’s a chance to improve business even the words of the janitor are considered by the CEO. So, if this applies in business which is but a temporary vice in our lives, how much more so should it be relevant to our spiritual lives, which affect our everlasting status in history? 
            We should let our Rabbis to do what they’re meant to and not run away or chase them away when they dare as to suggest that we should change. That means when a Rav delivers his address we don’t walk out right before (or worse, during) his speech; we try our very best not to doze off, not to learn quietly, and we not even read the Torah newsletters lying around the shul (including the “irresistible” Torah’s Sweets Weekly). At the very least, we should start by being a good example to the children in shul and give our undivided attention to the Rabbi’s words. Also, at the Shabbos table, instead of schmoozing about shul politics, a way to show respect to the Rabbi is to say over at least parts of his speech and praise it.                               
 ***                                                                                             
       Finally, there are two higher levels we can aspire to in order to maximize the value of a Rabbi in our lives. One is to serve our Rabbis (Shimush). For example, at Simchas (family or community celebrations) or meals like Shalosh Seudos, we should offer to bring them a drink or help serve them. Besides showing them respect, we will come to love them more, as the formula goes: we love those to whom we give.  The loftiest level of all is when one doesn’t wait to receive rebuke from his Rebbi, but actually asks his spiritual leader what he needs to improve, as King Solomon (Mishlei 9:8) writes, wise people love criticism. And so, this Purim, let’s send our Rebbi(s) beautiful Mishloach Manos packages along with a thank-you note. In this way, we can show our appreciation to our guides for trying to help us grow!                                     
       
   *** SHORT INSIGHT OF THE WEEK ON PARASHAS VAYIKRAH   ***       
    When discussing sacrificial offerings, the verse (Vayikrah 1:2) mentions Adam to indicate that just like whatever the first man brought wasn’t from stolen property,  man’s Karbonos should be his own. Rav Reuven Feinstein shlit”a points out that Adam’s ownership was unique in that really everything was attainable to him (since there was no one else to own stuff). We should adopt Adam’s mindset when tempted to “cut corners” (or engage in illegal activities) that it’s ridiculous to steal something when your Father owns the world and can provide you with anything, as long as you need it.

TORAH QUESTION OF THE WEEK by Rabbi M.D.Weiss       
The Talmud (Megillah 29b) tells us that we inquire and preach about the laws of Pesach thirty days beforehand. Does this mean that there is an obligation to start learning the laws of Pesach on Purim?
***                                                                                       
  Last week, we asked, does one fulfill his obligation of Mishloach Manos on Purim by sending to a rich person something small that is not honorable enough for him and is below his dignity? Also can one fulfill his obligation by sending Mishloach Manos to his Rebbi or parent, or does it have to be to “your equal” since it states in the Megillah, "Ish L'Re’Ehu" – man should give to his friend? 
          Answer: The Chayei Adam (155:31) writes that it would seem that if someone sends Mishloach Manos to a rich person which is not befitting him, he would not fulfill his obligation. He bases himself on an incident mentioned in Talmud Yerushalmi. The Sdei Chemed (Mareches HaPurim; 8) disagrees and says that in that case we can only learn that if a rich man sends a small gift, he would not fulfill his obligation (and not a poor man sending a small gift). Indeed, the Ritva tells us that we learn from there that a rich man must send a gift according to his stature in order to fulfill his obligation.                                       
    The Tzitz Eliezer (8:14:4) writes that our question would depend on the two reasons given for the Mitzvah of Mishloach Manos. The Terumas Hadeshen (111) was asked whether one can send drapery and the like for Mishloach Manos. He responded that the reason for the Mitzvah is to provide each other with food for the Purim meal and hence one must send something edible. The Manos HaLevi (quoted in shu”t Chasam Sofer O.C. 196) writes that rather the purpose is to promote friendship and peace among Jews in order to counteract the slander of the wicked Haman who said that we are a scattered nation who lacks unity. So, according to the reason of the Terumas Hadeshen one wouldn’t get the Mitzvah with sending a small gift to a rich man since this doesn’t provide sufficiently for his needs. But according to the reason of the Manos Halevi, one would fulfill the requirement since the poor man has shown friendship by giving what he can afford. The Mishnah Berurah (Biur Halacha 695:4) quotes the ruling of the Chayei Adam and writes that it is proper to heed to the Chayei Adam’s words.                                                     
          As far as the second question goes, the Shevet Sofer (o.c.28) writes that we find that the term “Re’ehu” (friend) is used even when referring to someone greater than oneself. Therefore, that would be no basis not to send to a Rebbi, unless it’s showing that his Rebbi is equal to a friend by sending a present to enhance friendship (which is inappropriate because a Rebbi is not to be treated as a friend, but as a superior). He writes that this would depend on the two aforementioned reasons of Mishloach Manos. If we say the purpose is to provide one with his Purim needs, it would be okay to send to a Rebbi since there’s nothing wrong with giving them a gift. But, if the purpose is to enhance friendship, it would be improper with a Rebbi.                                                                     
       The Mahari Assad (204) proves that a Rebbi is referred to as “Re’ehu” and concludes that one can surely send Mishloach Manos to his Rebbi. The Levushai Mordechai (9) says that based on the ruling of the Mahari Assad we can say that one can surely fulfill the Mitzvah by sending Mishloach Manos to a parent. Please consult a Rav for all final rulings.

SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK
             Rabbi Moshe Sofer, beloved Rabbi of Pressburg and author of the noted work Chasam Sofer, was about to preside as a judge in a difficult lawsuit. A few days before trial was to begin he received a package from one of the litigants. It was a beautiful sterling Kiddush cup. That Friday night the Chasam Sofer took the cup out of its velvet pouch, and raised it for his entire family to see. "Look how beautiful this cup is. Do you notice the intricate etchings? It must be worth a fortune!"
                The family looked on in horror. They knew that the gift was sent as a form of a bribe. They could not imagine why the Chasam Sofer had removed it and was seemingly admiring it. Abruptly, the Chasam Sofer stopped talking. His eyes became sternly focused on the cup. He began, once again, to speak. "But, my children, the Torah tells us we may not take a bribe! Therefore, I will put this beautiful cup away and never use it. It must be returned to the sender immediately! He must be chastised for this terrible breach."
                Then he continued. "You must be wondering why I even looked at the cup. You certainly must be bewildered why I even admired it openly. I will explain. How often is it that I am offered a bribe? Never! I never felt the passion or desire to accept a bribe, as it was never offered! When I had the opportunity to observe the Torah's prohibition against corruption, I wanted to make sure that I did it from a vantage of passion. I wanted to realize what I was turning down. I wanted to value the Torah's command over an exquisite and ornate silver goblet. I felt that by working up our appetite for the item we surely would appreciate its refusal."
                Comment: We should never voluntarily put ourselves into a “test,” but we should also learn to appreciate the self-control and character refinement we work so hard to upkeep. When we see on the streets how some people act like “animals” and talk in ways that would make a sailor blush - and we don’t (hopefully) - we should feel good about ourselves. We should also publicize the holiness of our people to our children, our students and all those who can and will appreciate it. The approach of the Chasam Sofer was to show that the greatness Jews acquire by overcoming their base desires. (Story from Rabbi M.Kamenetsky)

SUGARY SAYING OF THE WEEK

“One who is merciful to those who are heartless will end up being heartless to those who are merciful.”                                   
- The Midrash Zuta. This coming Shabbos is Parashas Zachor, when we recall the Mitzvah to destroy Amolek. The only reason Amolek is still around was due to an error on behalf of King Shaul who felt temporary mercy and left Amoleki King Agag around (see Shmuel Alef Chapter 15 for more). This same Agag had a child and the nation Amolek went on to torment the Jewish people- who are called merciful (Yevamos 79a) - for centuries. When we turn a blind eye to injustice, we are repeating that terrible mistake and end up hurting innocent people in the process.

SPONSORED BY MR. AND MRS. BOBRYSH IN THE MERIT OF A SPEEDY RECOVERY FOR MOISHE BEN JUDITH

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Note: We are sending early this week because Thursday, as you may know, is a pretty important and busy day.  By receiving it now, you can read it before Purim or print it after for Shabbos. Thank you and A Freilechen Purim/Happy Holiday.
          


          One of the most fascinating studies in psychology is the one about moods. Moods are tricky. If a person is always in a bad mood, he is labeled as depressed and promptly encouraged to visit a therapist. If a person is always in a good mood, people think that he may be weird (or popping antidepressant pills). And if a person switches moods frequently, he is branded as moody, and the mood swings are symptoms of a serious mental condition or physical deficiency. Indeed, according to a University of Nottingham (School of Health Sciences) study, people’s moods are adversely affected if they are on a poor diet, rarely engage in physical activities like aerobic exercise, or get too little sleep (less than six hours nightly).         
          Interestingly, many people would tell you that someone who has recurrent mood changes appears as more troublesome than someone who is regularly in one mood. This is because one of the most admirable traits in a person is the trait of consistency. Someone who is consistent could be trusted to create an aura of required predictability and responsibility. Moreover, those who are consistent (in a good way) enjoy a positive reputation among peers, or, if they're in business, boast many happy customers.   
***
            This week's portion, Tzav, dabbles in the theme of consistency. First, the Torah states that the fire on the Altar may never be extinguished – the original Ner Tamid (Vayikrah 6:6). Next, the Torah commands the Kohanim to bring a perpetual supply of logs and wood to maintain the fire on the altar. Additionally, the Kohanim offered the twice daily service in the Tabernacle every day of the year without fail (ibid. 6:13). Finally, Aharon and his sons were told to maintain a constant vigil in the Tabernacle for seven straight days and nights.             
            We see that the Torah puts a premium on consistency with the concept of "Tadir Kodem," prioritizing Mitzvos done more often than ones performed occasionally. This is why Shabbos takes Halachic precedence over Yom Tov, the Tallis is donned  before the Tefillin is placed, and more common blessings are made before less common ones (like the blessing on the wine preceding the one about holiness of Shabbos in the Kiddush services). Is there a deeper message here for us to take?
            Being consistent in Mitzvah performance is also meant as a message for us to be consistent in our character. The Sfas Emes relates that when Yaakov was escaping from Esav, the word “Vayivrach” (and he ran away) is not used. Rather, it states “Vayetzei” – and he left - to indicate that Yaakov left calmly. The way he acted in tranquil times was the same way he acted during times of turmoil. This is why Yaakov was called Ish Tam (from the word Tamid – “consistent”). He was able to rein his emotions and actions in times of crisis because he had faith in Hashem. Of course, it helped that Yaakov had a grandmother who had a consistent life (hence the comparison of Rashi that our Matriarch was as “sinless” at 100 as she was at 20).               
          Consistency is so significant that the Evil Inclination uses its absence as one of its favorite methods to get us to change our positive outlook. After a person sins, the Evil Inclination often plants thoughts into his head that he is a hypocrite; a person living a double-life. "How can call yourself frum (observant) when you're such a lowlife sinner?" he challenges. "Since you can't stop sinning, at least just be consistent and stop with this ‘Mitzvos’ business!" The Evil Inclination sneakily substitutes the concept of consistency with the concept of perfection. Perfection is something that a growing (and righteous) man pursues but has no hope of attaining so long as he is still alive.                                  
              Even a Tzaddik (righteous person) is not defined as someone who has never sinned, as King Solomon teaches (Mishlei 24:16), “a righteous man falls seven times and rises.” Everyone falls, has off-days and even longer stretches of uninspired service. But the difference between the “righteous” and the “wicked” is that the righteous get up after he falls and continues to put in a consistent effort, whereas a wicked person gives up. The question we can ask is, what can we do to be more consistent in our day-to-day lives?
***
            One way to improve on our consistency is to tap into the “Sheish Mitzvos Temidios” – the Six Constant Mitzvos. It's important to point out that all these commandments can be performed at all times and by every person, no matter of his physical condition or limitation. This is because, as we will see, the consistency starts with an intellectual (thought-driven) pursuit and carries over into everyday actions in life.                        
              The six Mitzvos are: 1) Know there is a G-d, 2) Don't believe in other gods, 3) Know that G-d is One, 4) Love G-d, 5) Fear G-d, 6) Don't be misled by your heart and your eyes. Upon closer analysis, an important pattern seems to emerge.  Five of the Six Mitzvos have to do with us developing a strong and intimate relationship with Hashem. Since even the most consistent man in the world can be unswerving for up to (only) 120 years, our best chance for consistency is to connect to Hashem, Who we know “will rule forever” (as the Kedushah of Shemonei Esrei relates).                          
           How can we “know” Hashem? One way is by always looking around and seeing His signature in this world, whether it is the mind-boggling intricacy of the human body or the breathtaking Swiss Alps. Another way is by seeing the tremendous wisdom in His Guide to Life, our Holy Torah. We then make sure not to flip-flop and attribute anything to anyone but Him and remind ourselves that He is the Only One making everything happen, from arranging major political upheavals to providing one of the trillions of ants with its “daily breakfast.” As we think about that, we will undoubtedly start to experience feelings of love for our Maker, seeing how He takes care of our every need on a consistent basis. At the same time, we are reminded to strike a balance and also be in awe in front of Hashem’s indescribable greatness.                                              
        Once we incorporate these thoughts on a regular basis we can reach the level of action, of being able to control our desires and passions (which is the sixth constant Mitzvah of not straying after our eyes/heart). And the more frequently we work through the first five Mitzvos in our minds, the more consistent will be the control we have over our heart and eyes; so consistent, in fact, that it will become second nature.
            ***
            To conclude, we need to point out that consistency is also often confused with complacency, with feeling set in one’s ways. The idea for a Jew isn’t to reach a level and then productively stagnate, but to always go up in levels. Sometimes, the Evil Inclination pushes us too fast in certain areas to get us to stumble and feel like failures. Other times, our Yetzer Horah tells us not to “rock the boat,” and wants us to be satisfied with our present level. It may even show that we are already “better” than our peer, neighbor and contemporaries.                              
           However, that is a fallacy like no other. We already mentioned that the only race we are running is against ourselves. If we find that we can achieve our goals without the utmost effort, perhaps it’s a sign we can pick up the pace. Say a person has a hard time coming to shul for the beginning of davening. He trains himself with much exertion to first be ten minutes late, then five, until every day he finds himself as one of the praiseworthy first ten men in shul (Talmud, Berachos 6b). After that’s mastered, the next level one can aspire to is to come several minutes before prayers to get his mind together. The Talmud (ibid, 32b) teaches that the Chassidim Rishonim (pious men of the Talmudic times) used to spend a whole hour preparing for prayers! In our times, this is of course, too much to ask for, but to come ten minutes before prayers is achievable and quite beneficial.         
            ***                                                                                       
         To summarize, it’s not the results that are important but the consistent effort, as the Mishnah (Avos 2:21) instructs, “while you’re not required to complete the task, you’re not free to withdraw from it.” The road to perfection is filled with potholes, setbacks, and as long as one gets up and consistently tries, he will be successful in the long-term.    

         TORAH QUESTION OF THE WEEK by Rabbi M.D.Weiss

                This week’s portion discusses the Korban Todah (7:12), The Thanksgiving sacrificial offering. Rashi (ibid.) tells us that this Korban was brought as thanks for one of four miracles: 1) One who traveled overseas and survived, 2) One who traveled through a desert and survived, 3) One who was imprisoned and was subsequently released, 4) One who was sick and was healed. Nowadays, when we unfortunately cannot (yet) bring the Todah offering, how are we supposed to show our gratitude after being rescued from such dangerous situations?                                                             

***                                                                                 

          Last week, we brought the Talmud (Megillah 29b) which teaches us that one should inquire and preach about the laws of Pesach thirty days beforehand. Does this mean that there is an obligation to start learning the laws of Pesach on Purim?                                                                          

           Answer: from the simple understanding it would seem so. However, the Ran and the Rashba learn that the requirement to learn the laws is only on Pesach itself. When Chazal (the Sages) say that we inquire about the laws thirty (30) days in advance it means the follow: if two students ask their Rebbi a question within 30 days of Pesach, one about Pesach and the other about a different topic, we address the one who inquires about the laws of Pesach first.                            

               The Biur Halachah (429:1) brings many Rishonim who are of the opinion that there actually is an obligation to study the laws 30 days in advance. This includes Rashi, Tosafos, the Rokeach, the Ohr Zarua, and the Itur. The B'hag writes that 30 days before Pesach we are required to learn the laws of Pesach and teach them to our families.              

          The Chok Yaakov says that the requirement of 30 days in advance is only in a public gathering (e.g. a Beis Medrash), but the requirement for an individual is to study the laws only on Pesach itself. However, the Elya Rabbah refutes the claim of the Chok Yaakov and holds that the requirement is also for the individual. This is also the ruling of the Bach who says one should begin learning the laws on Purim. The Biur Halachah concludes that from the aforementioned words of the B'hag we see that he is in agreement with the way the Bach ruled. Certainly, in a Beis Medrash which is a public area, there is an obligation to have groups studying the laws 30 days before Pesach.  With regard to Succos and Shavuous see Mishnah Berurah (429:1). Please consult a Rav for all final rulings.

        SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK            
In Uzda, as wherever he went, Rav Moshe Feinstein, OB”M, was loved and admired not only for his greatness in Torah, but for his angelic character traits and his love for every Jew. The Jewish community in Uzda provided him with all his basic needs. Some of these needs were slightly unusual for a Rav, since Reb Moshe remained unmarried during his years there. One of the local women was assigned the task of cooking his meals, a task she performed with relish. One day, Reb Moshe's sister, Chana (who later became the Rebbetzin of Rabbi Isaac Small of Chicago), arrived in Uzda to visit her brother. "I see you are being treated very well," she commented upon seeing him. "You've put on a little bit of weight."                                                                 
         "I am being treated well," Reb Moshe replied. "The woman who cooks for me prepares a heaping plate of food for each meal. I always finish all that is served, not wanting her to think I find her food lacking. However, she sees my clean plate as a sign of hunger and she promptly serves me seconds which I also partake of, for her sake. And so, yes I have put on weight."                    
          Later that day, Chana joined him for a meal at the woman's house. She took one bite and found it tasted so awful that she was tempted to spit it out. With a heaping plate of food staring at her and not wishing to insult her hostess, she saw no way out of her dilemma but to clear the food off the plate when the woman was not looking. In later years, Rebbetzin Small would relate this story to her grandchildren, expressing her admiration for her brother, who day after day, for three years, ate this woman's cooking, two portions at a time! Difficult as it may have been to eat the badly prepared food, Reb Moshe, who’d one day be remembered as "a gaon in middos," a giant in character refinement, found it more difficult to hurt the woman's feelings.                                                                                             
       Comment: This week, on the 30th Yartzheit of Rav Moshe’s passing, let us remember how Rav Moshe personified the idea that Torah-learning is supposed to affect a person’s character. There are those who think just learning Torah is enough and they could look down on some people. But the fact that more stories are told of Rav Moshe’s “Middos” than his learning indicate what’s most valued is how we treat every person we meet in our lives.

SUGARY SAYING OF THE WEEK   
“It is a great Mitzvah to be happy always!”

                                                          

 - Rebbe Nachman of Breslov (Likutei Moharan II, 24). Lots of people experience the “post-Purim blues,” a mood swing that’s perhaps brought on by the holiday of Pesach being a few weeks away (namely the tremendous amount of preparation required). We know that when Adar comes in, we increase in our Simchah/joy, which means that the increased Simchah is supposed to continue the entire month. This positive feeling is supposed to imbue us with the needed energy as we begin the month of Geulah, Nissan. It may also give us that extra little “oomph” as we begin organizing ourselves for the Holiday of Renewal and, Please G-d, the Final Redemption.



SPONSORED BY MR. AND MRS. MOSHE KHAVIS IN HONOR OF RABBI EPHRAIM VASHOVSKY

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PORTION INSIGHTS - THE WINNING ARGUMENT

    Mottel and Isaac come to the Rabbi's study to settle a dispute. Mottel explains his complaint to the Rabbi his side of the story and says he demands Isaac pay him for the damages. He gives a fine account and argues his case clearly. The Rabbi thinks about it and declares, "You sound right, Mottel." Next, Isaac presents his side.  He speaks with such passion and persuasion that the Rabbi is very impressed and announces to him, "You're right, Isaac." After they leave, the Rabbi's wife, who overheard the litigants is distraught and says to her husband, "They have conflicting stories.  How can you say that both of them are right?  When one wins, the other must lose." The Rabbi thinks long and hard and finally says to his wife, "You know, you're also right!"                         We all have an unyielding desire to be right. In fact, our educational system is rooted in “the promotion of right and wrong.” We are rewarded for what are deemed to be correct answers and the ensuing higher grades, which generally lead to more successful lives. Being right affirms and inflates our sense of self-worth. As students, we learn to avoid as best we can the embarrassment of being wrong. Teachers are taught never to say to a student, “you’re wrong,” but rather “that’s an interesting approach with many merits to it.” While putting down someone who is incorrect is unacceptable, never feeling wrong stunts a student’s learning process by not giving him a chance to probe deeper and discover why his reasoning may be faulty.

            ***

            This week's portion, Shemini, contains an argument between Moshe and Aharon that had the potential of erupting into a very serious conflict, yet was ultimately resolved (and "won") peacefully, due to some high-scale argumentative adeptness, not to mention communication skills.   During the inauguration of the Mishkan (Tabernacle) Moshe became aware that one of the sin-offerings had been burnt, rather than eaten. Moshe was incensed: "Why did you not eat the sin-offering in a holy place - for it is most holy! [Hashem] gave it to you to grant forgiveness for the sin of the congregation, and to atone for them before Hashem. Its blood was not brought into the inner-sanctuary; you should have eaten it in a holy place, as I commanded you!" Aharon responded: "Now that such a terrible tragedy occurred to me (passing of my sons) - were I to eat this day's sin-offering, would Hashem approve?" (Vayikrah 10:16-19) When Moshe heard this, he approved and backed down, (Vayikrah 10:20): “Moshe heard [this], and it pleased him.”
            Rabbi Eliyahu Hoffmann asks several questions about this argument. We find that when Moshe spoke, he went on for quite some time. If Aharon knew all along that he had done correctly - why did he let Moshe go on for so long? Why didn't he interrupt him, and "win the argument" instantly?       
          Another question: How was it possible that Aharon was privy to this law, while Moshe, teacher of Israel and transmitter of the Torah, was not? About this, the Midrash explains that Moshe certainly knew this law, but his anger blurred his reasoning, and he wasn’t able to view the situation objectively (causing him to err). What was it, then, in Aharon's short speech that “calmed” Moshe down? 
             Rabbi Hoffmann explains a fundamental principle on which efficient arguments are built and those who are wrong are more likely to admit it. Most people who get into an argument just want to get their point across. What do they do when the other is speaking? Either ignore the other person completely, pretend they’re listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation, or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely. Most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand.  Worse, we filter everything we hear through our life experiences, our frames of reference. Consequently, we decide prematurely what the other person means before he/she finishes communicating. Steven Covey, in his Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, explains (Habit #5) that successful people “first seek to understand, and then to be understood.”

            Writes Rabbi Hoffmann, “It was not Aaron's words at all that calmed Moshe, but rather the silence preceding his words. Aharon allowed Moshe to express his anger. Instead of jumping in and indignantly proving that he was right, he heard Moshe out, and gave him the opportunity to say whatever he had to say.                       

          The only way to attain that kind of self-mastery is by concentrating on the following point: it’s not important to be right; it’s important for the Will of Hashem to be performed as quickly and efficiently as possible. Sure, Aharon was older and in some ways equal to Moshe (Rashi to Shemos 6:26), but he never took any personal exception to his brother’s anger, because he knew his brother is also only interested in fulfilling Hashem’s desire.                                               

                 Therefore, to prevent misunderstandings, it is a worthwhile practice to not only listen, but restate what the other party said after hearing them out. For example, one could say, “what I THINK you’re saying is…” Sometimes, people don’t even listen themselves and time/ energy-consuming arguments ensue, only to end with the jaw-dropping claim of “that’s not what I said.”   The more precisely formulated the argument is, the higher are the chances of resolution.                 

  ***                                                                         

               The other point in this that Aharon doesn’t speak directly when he defends his argument against Moshe. He asks Moshe simply, "Now that such a terrible tragedy occurred to me - were I to eat this day's sin-offering, would Hashem approve?" Rabbi Hoffmann points out that it seems that these words, uttered after Aaron listened intently to Moshe's, were enough to remind Moshe of the Halachah that had escaped him until now. Perhaps another fine point in the art of argumentation can be gleaned here: If at all possible, let the other side recognize their mistake on their own. Don't ram it down their throats.                   

               The idea here is not to let the argument negatively affect the relationship. Some people get so passionate – even zealous for the honor of Hashem – that they neglect the honor due to their family and friends. If a person knows that he is unable to control his emotions, he should not get involved until he cools down. So many people have inadvertently ended long-lasting relationship because they blurted out a really disgusting comment in anger. Humiliating and deliberately provoking someone we’re arguing with maybe how Presidential hopefuls act, but it is never the Torah way, not in Chavrusah learning of the Talmud and especially not in personal disputes. Great people know how hint in a way that lets the other person walk away with their dignity. They will use roundabout words and clues that both allow others to hear what’s being said and not get lulled into a false sense of being correct (as spoken about in the introduction).   

***                                                                                 

                    And then, there is marriage. When those "discussions" between a husband and wife arise a person often has a choice: to prove himself/herself right and be miserable or to be silent and be happy. Only masochists would choose the first option. Rabbi Dovid Winiarz OB”M once said that sometimes one gives in because he prefers to maintain the camaraderie and connection rather than stroke his ego.                 

                   For some, who have a need to be right, it may be a hard to start giving in, apologizing, or admitting they are wrong.  Still, they should start small. Foregoing quarrels over petty things that have no bearing on even the next day is a good place to begin. Who knows, maybe the happiness they enjoy will be the winning argument!


TORAH QUESTION OF THE WEEK by Rabbi M.D.Weiss

        This week’s portion discusses kosher and non-kosher animals. We know that it’s forbidden to drink milk that comes from a non-kosher animal. If so, why is it permitted to eat honey? Doesn’t honey come from bees, which aren’t kosher?                                                                                             

  ***                                                                                                     

        Last week’s portion discusses the Korban Todah (7:12), The Thanksgiving sacrificial offering. Rashi (ibid.) tells us that this Korban was brought as thanks for one of four miracles: 1) One who traveled overseas and survived, 2) One who traveled through a desert and survived, 3) One who was imprisoned and was subsequently released, 4) One who was sick and was healed. Nowadays, when we unfortunately cannot (yet) bring the Todah-offering, how are we supposed to show our gratitude after being rescued from such dangerous situations?                                           

   The Talmud (Brachos 54b) tells us that one who went through one of the four situations (mentioned in the question) must bless Birchas Hagomel. He says, “Blessed are You Hashem... who bestows kindness [even] to the guilty (of sin) [and] you have bestowed me with an abundance of kindness.” We will mention some of the Halachos related to this blessing. (We will only discuss a few points, for the full scope, please see Shulchan Aruch O.C. 119)         

            The Brachah is to be said in the presence of ten men, two of whom should be “learned” in Halachah. This is why the custom is to make the Brachah after Krias HaTorah (Torah Reading) since there are ten men present. It is questionable whether one requires ten additional people or if the one reciting the blessing can be included in the ten and we only need nine besides for him. The Mishna Berurah rules leniently.                                                                                 

             There is no obligation on a Katan (boy under Bar Mitzvah) even if he reached the age of Chinuch. The reason for this, writes the Magen Avraham, is that the Brachah states (see above), “to the guilty...” and a Katan cannot be considered guilty of sin since he is not held accountable for his iniquities. However, we cannot leave that part out since we have no right to change the text that our Sages formulated. One may argue, though, that he may say it because he is suffering due to guilt of sin from a previous Gilgul (incarnation). To this, the Magen Avraham responds that we can’t say for sure that his suffering is due to his guilt from a previous Gilgul since it is possible that he is suffering due to his father’s sins.         

               The Mishna Berurah writes that the custom is that women don’t make the Brachah. The reason is, since it is to be said in front of ten men and this would be immodest for a woman to appear. Some authorities hold that she should say the blessing with nine women and one man present.   There is a dispute in the Poskim as to whether the blessing is limited to the four aforementioned situations or for anyone whose life was miraculously saved. For example, if a wall fell on a person, does he make the blessing? Does one who was attacked by a wild ox or a lion? The Shulchan Aruch rules that since it is a Safek (doubt), therefore it should be said without mentioning Hashem’s Name. The Mishna Berurah, however, says that the custom is to say it with Hashem’s Name anytime one’s life was saved from danger. Please consult a Rav for final rulings.


SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK           

               Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, OB”M, was a master of human interactions. In all situations, he greeted every Jew with his wide, never-ending smile. This feature was a part of his face which always beamed with a strong light some would label supernatural.  Reb Shlomo Zalman’s wife passed away on a Shabbos. He was told the terrible news as he left the synagogue on Saturday night, and he fainted. He immediately went to the morgue of the hospital and sat for a while with the wonderful woman who had shared his life for so many decades. When he emerged from that depressing room, he was broken and deeply grieved. Suddenly, a young man, who had no idea that the Rebbetzin had passed away, noticed Reb Shlomo Zalman in the corridor of the hospital.                                                                          The young man ran over to share the good news that his wife had just given birth to a healthy boy with the Rav. As if one had just switched on a lamp, Reb Shlomo Zalman’s face instantly lit up and he wished the happy father a “Mazel Tov” and told him that he be privileged to perform his son’s bris (circumcision) on time. He also blessed him that he and his wife raise the boy properly with lots of true, Jewish Nachas. Reb Shlomo Zalman’s face beamed the entire time, until the young man left him to his agony.      Later that day, everyone heard the tragic news, including that young man. The fellow was beside himself. How could he have bothered the Rosh Yeshivah with his personal celebration when the Rav had been suffering so, he kept thinking. Finally, he decided that he would go to be Menachem Avel (a visit of consolation) the Rabbi and beg his forgiveness at the same time. When the young man apologized, Reb Shlomo Zalman could not understand for what. “What does your happiness have to do with my sadness?” he asked. “I was very happy to share in your Simcha, and to bless you and your wife; even at a time that I was mourning the loss of mine!”                         

    Comment: What a level to aspire to! To be able to compartmentalize our emotions is no easy feat, but this is what special people like Rav Auerbach do. No one would blame Aharon if he broke down upon hearing his two sons passed away, but he was able to remain silent (Vayikrah 10:3) and master his feelings on what was a very happy day for others. Let’s learn from this extraordinary display of self-control to hide our “emotions” from hurting bystanders.

SUGARY SAYING OF THE WEEK     

“The greatness of a leader is proven when he can say, ‘I don’t know,’ and ‘I was wrong.’”             

       -Some leaders/teachers erroneously feel that some answer – even if it’s not one of quality - is better than no answer at all. People in positions of authority, therefore, also often stand their ground because in their eyes, admitting that they were stumped or were wrong is a sign of weakness, and will cause them to lose respect and credibility in the eyes of the followers. But that’s not the case, as we see with Moshe’s response to Aharon’s response (see Portion Insights). Moshe didn’t dig his heels in the ground and get ready to fight to the end. When he saw that Aharon was right, he immediately admitted he was wrong. Now, that’s something to really respect! 

SPONSORED BY MR. AND MRS. STADLER OF STATEN ISLAND AS A MERIT FOR THE SAFETY OF ALL THE JEWS WORLDWIDE

[Work-for-ur-muny]

PORTION INSIGHTS – THE GLASS IS OVERFLOWING

               
          A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.” “However," he pointed out, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." Suddenly, a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."                       We have all met people who have a very negative attitude. Some of those people are “born” this way (and there is some scientific research from University of British Columbia to support that). Others become “negative” because they are overwhelmed with immense challenges and as a result become very skeptical that good things could happen to them. And some people actually enjoy being miserable and find twisted pleasure in wallowing in their gloom. Such folk like to create drama, blow up minor incidents into major issues and completely drain any energy and enthusiasm from those with whom they come in contact.                                         
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           This week’s portion, Tazria, when the Torah states the laws of the Tzaraas (leprosy-like) skin affliction affecting clothing, the verse (Vayikrah 13:55) says, "the Kohen shall look, after the affliction has been washed, and behold (if) the affliction has not changed its appearance (lo hafach es eino) and the affliction has not spread, it is contaminated, you shall burn it in fire..." The literal interpretation of the expression ("lo hafach es eino") is that the appearance of the affliction has not changed. The Chidushei Harim, whose 150th Yartzheit was last week, cites a scintillating insight (based on the Talmud, Arachin 16a) that hints at the much more fundamental reason why a person would find himself with a spiritual malady and would have to isolate himself for seven whole days. In addition to Loshon Harah/tale-bearing, the Talmud (ibid.) mentions that Tzaraas is a punishment for six other sins: murder, false/vain oaths, immorality, haughtiness, theft, and Tzorus Ayin. Tzorus Ayin is literally translated as “narrowness of the eye” and is usually meant to be stinginess. But how can the trait of stinginess be in same category as two of the three cardinal sins, as well some other major violations stated in the Ten Commandments?
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      Rabbi Yissocher Frand explains that “Tzorus Ayin” does not merely refer to being tight-fisted. Rather, he points out, a person is described as "narrow of eye" if he never sees the positive in others. He does have some vision (albeit very constricted) – and can see the good, but only in himself. When he looks at other people, he finds how they are lacking in terms of their own character development or etiquette. “Look at how that man drives!” one yells as he turns his eyes to stare them down (and ironically off the road ahead of him).       
           A negative person also takes umbrage with how others treat him, always feeling paranoid that other people don’t like him and are thinking negatively of him. As the psychologically brilliant insight in the Talmud (Kiddushin 70b) goes, “a person is guilty in the very deficiency he blames others for.” Such negativity begets evil speech about other people and ends up in Tzora’as.
            We need to be aware that cultivating a “good eye” – staying optimistic and hopeful - is essential to surviving as the lone sheep among 70 wolves, as a beacon of morality in world sunk into depravity. Israeli Prime Minister, Golda Meir said, “pessimism is a luxury a Jew can never allow himself.” Meir, of course, was referring to the Talmud (Berachos 10a) that teaches, “Even if there be a sharp knife held at your throat, do not despair.” This preserving spirit has been embedded in a Jew’s spiritual DNA, as the Mishnah (Avos 5:22) says that the “students of Avraham have a good eye.”
           In fact, studies show that positive thinking actually helps people in reaching their goals, as we tend to create our own reality. The question we need to address is, what do we need to do to how do we form the habit of consistently viewing others and (sometimes even) ourselves in the best possible light?                                 
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              On an interpersonal level, the Ethics of the Fathers instructs us (Avos 1:6), “Dan Es Kol Haodom L’kaf Zechus” – “Judge everyone favorably.” But the words “Kol Haodom” don’t literally mean everyone; they actually mean “the whole man.” This is to say that the issue is that we too often and too easily concentrate on what’s missing in someone and not on their redeemable qualities. Every single person we meet in the walk of life has something to teach us, a personal story that can inspire us, or an opportunity to learn from us (which is a great trait, as well). If we can’t find something good in another person, it’s because we are not looking hard or long enough.                                             
      Sometimes, the very thing that we consider as negative can be viewed as a positive. Rabbi Abraham Twerski tells the story of a young man who came to the chief Rabbi of Vilna, Rabbi Chaim Ozer Grodzinsky with a request. As this young man's father was applying for a Rabbinical position in a town that the sage was familiar with, he asked the Rabbi for a letter of approbation on his father's behalf. Rabbi Grodzinsky felt that the candidate was not worthy of the position, but instead of flatly refusing, he just said that he would rather not mix into the Rabbinical affairs of another city and was sure that the council of that city would make a fair and wise decision.                                                               
           Rabbi Grodzinsky did not realize the tirade that would be forthcoming. The young man began to spew insults and aspersions at him. The sage, however, accepted them in silence. After a few minutes of hearing the abusive language, Rabbi Grodzinsky excused himself and left the room. Students who witnessed the barrage were shocked at the young man's audacity. They were even more surprised that the Rav did not silence the young man at the start of the barrage. Rabbi Grodzinsky explained, "You cannot view that onslaught on its own. You must look at the bigger picture. This young man was defending the honor of his father, and in that vein I overlooked his lapse."                     
      There was plenty of negative (and inappropriate) behavior in there, but that’s not what Rabbi Grodzinsky chose to focus on. Instead, he found a good way to spin the story.  Rav Leib Lopian points out that the letters in the word “Nega” (affliction) and “Oneg” (pleasure) are identical (Gimel, Nun and Ayin). The only difference is where you place the Ayin – which is also means “eye.” How we choose to view people really makes all the difference. And that is why the verse uses the words, “hafech es eino.” If a person wants his Tzaaras - and Tzoros (difficulties) - to go away, he first has to flip (hafech) his perspective.               It also must be mentioned that if we’re trying to get through to someone (get them to change something), we must serenade the other party with many positive comments beforehand. Otherwise, they will feel that when we criticize them that we don’t like them. No one wants to follow the words of those who don’t recognize his value.               
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          We must remember to be careful not to look at ourselves negatively. Ever. We are taught not to be wicked in our own eyes (Avos 2:18). If there’s a time we don’t like ourselves, we have to remember that it’s actually the Yetzer Horah’s (Evil Inclination’s) way to get us to stumble. If we don’t see our own strengths, we are more prone to sin, because we reason “what difference does it make what we do?” As such we need to counteract the Evil One’s game-plan by always filling our head with positive thoughts, like, “the world was created for me.” (Talmud, Sanhedrin 37a) Empowering ourselves is key. We can also empower ourselves by doing Mitzvos as often as possible. Busy people don’t have time to be negative.           
        Ultimately, we have to really work on being grateful to Hashem for every little thing. When we do that, we can really take this our optimism to the next and highest level – not even noticing the negative. Rabbi Moshe Goldberger relates that when a 105 year-old woman in Highland Park, NJ, was asked how she viewed life - the proverbial glass being half-full or half-empty - she replied: “neither… it’s actually overflowing!” The formula is simple: those who appreciate the good in life are the best candidates to receive more of it.     
    TORAH QUESTION OF THE WEEK by Rabbi M.D.Weiss
 This week’s portion the Torah mentions the Mitzvah of Bris Milah. The Talmud (Kiddushin 29a) learns from a specific verse that only a father has the Mitzvah to perform a Bris Milah on his son, but not a mother. Why is it necessary to learn it from a specific verse when we know (Mishnah, Kiddushin) that there is a general exemption for women from all commandments that are time-bound, since the Bris on the 8th day is exactly that?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  ***                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               
         Last week, we asked: why is it permitted to eat honey since it comes from bees - which aren’t kosher. 
       Answer: The Rambam (Pirush Hamishnayos, Machshirin 6:4) delineates the difference between milk and honey. Unlike milk, honey isn’t produced in a bee’s body. Rather, the dew falls on the flowers; then, the juices of the flower mix with the dew to create the honey. Subsequently, the bee consumes the honey already present within the flower and then spews out the better part of the honey into the comb to feed on it during the winter when plants aren’t found. The honey is already produced before entering the bee’s stomach and is therefore not a product of the bee. On the other hand, milk is produced inside the animal and consequently is considered a product of the animal, which if not kosher would render the milk not kosher, as well.  The explanation above coincides with one opinion in the Talmud (Bechoros 7b). the second opinion, however, explains that the permission to eat honey is based on a verse, not on a technical explanation. There is a dispute among the Poskim as to whether honey derived from insects other than the bee (e.g. wasp) is kosher. The two opinions are mentioned in Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 81:9). The Rema concludes that one need not concern himself with this since the only honey common among us is that from bees.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       The Igros Moshe (Y.D. 2:24) discusses the kosher status a certain glaze used in candy which is derived from the spew of a certain insect. Initially, he writes that its permissibility would seem to depend on the two opinions mentioned above. According to the one who permits honey derived from other insects, this too, would be permitted. According to the stringent opinion (regarding honey), the candy would be forbidden to consume. Still, Rav Moshe Feinstein, OB”M, concludes that for this specific case it would be permitted according to both opinions since it is Botul (nullified) through the other ingredients. Note: There were many details that were included to derive at this conclusion and it should not be compared to other cases. A Rav should be consulted for all final rulings.
     SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK          
After the end of World War II, the brilliant and flamboyant Torah sage, Rabbi Eliezer Silver OB”M visited and aided thousands of survivors in displaced persons camps in Germany and Poland who were waiting to find permanent homes. One day, as he was handing out Siddurim (prayer books) and other Torah paraphernalia, a Jewish man flatly refused to accept any. "After the way I saw Jews act in the camp, I don't want to have any connection with religion!" he bellowed.    Rabbi Silver asked him to explain what exactly had turned him off from Jewish practice. "I saw a Jew who had a Siddur, yet he only allowed it to be used by the inmates in exchange for their daily bread ration. Imagine," he sneered, "a Jew selling the right to daven for bread!"  "And how many customers did this man get?" inquired Rabbi Silver.                                                     
               "Far too many!" snapped the man. Rabbi Silver put his hand around the gentlemen and gently explained. "Why are you looking at the bad Jew who sold the right to pray? Why don't you look at the many good Jews who were willing to forego their rations and starve, just in order to pray? Isn't that the lesson you should take with you?"                                   
            Comment: We may claim that there exist at least some times where a situation cannot possibly be viewed in a positive light. This story proves otherwise. Where did Rav Silver learn to find “silver lining” in dark clouds? The Talmud (Makkos 24b) relates that Rabbi Akiva and a number of other dignified Rabbis passed by the former location of the Bais Hamikdosh (Temple) in Jerusalem and saw a fox run out of the Holy of Holies. As the Rabbis began crying at this pathetic sight, Rabbi Akiva started laughing. He explained his actions to his surprised colleagues: “We have two prophecies. One (by Uriah) that Zion will be plowed like a field and one by Zechariah that again the streets of Jerusalem will be filled (and the Temple rebuilt). Now that Uriah’s prophecy was fulfilled, it’s clear that so will Zechariah’s!” No tragedy, national or personal, is so complete that nothing good can be seen from it. Sometimes, however, the emotions are too overwhelmed to see it.
 SUGARY SAYING OF THE WEEK 
   “The Tumah (spiritual impurity) at childbirth comes as a result of going from an extremely high level of being a creator down to the level of a regular person.”                                 
          -The Kotzker Rebbe. When we speak Loshon Horah (Evil Speech) and disconnect from others, we are also breaking the closeness to Hashem. This process, too, causes Tumah. Even though it is tempting to speak poorly of others - especially those who acted inappropriately and in our eyes deserve it - unless it’s a situation of possible danger, we must refrain from opening our mouths and contaminating ourselves and spreading negativity about our brethren.

SPONSORED BY MR. AND MRS. AVRAHAM CHERKEZ L’ILUI NISHMAS PINCHOS BEN DOVID AND LEIZER CHAIM BEN AVRAHAM

[Work-for-ur-muny]

Kedoshim -- How To Deal With Resentment

In case you haven’t noticed, the world is full of annoying people. There are the people who park in two parking spots when space is scarce. Then, there are the people who stand in a “Ten Items or Less” aisle with forty items and argue the sign really means “10 Categories of Food or Less.” There’s the folks who constantly come late, are never properly prepared, or complain about anything and everything under the sun. And then, of course, the people who make noise. Irritating and distracting noise. Incessant banging, rhythm-less tapping, haunting humming sounds, obnoxious gum chewing are some examples; and let’s not forget the fellows who forget to turn off their cell-phones and subject others to hearing the weird tunes, which usually interrupt important and serious events like prayer. (On the bright side for the “annoyed”, researchers from Northwestern University found that people who can't filter out "competing noises" are very creative/talented.) 
       The question that we must face is how to react to such annoying behavior. Do we say something when someone’s behavior is grating on our nerves? Does that make us run the risk of being the very complainer we find annoying? Or, do we hold in our feelings, burying them deep inside of ourselves and not show displeasure? In this case, do we run the risk of swallowing our resentment so much that we eventually “explode” in rage and cause an even worse situation to result?                     
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          This week’s portion, Kedoshim, contains the commandment (Vayikrah 19:17) that states: “you shall not hate your brother (fellow Jew) in your heart, rebuke your friend, and do not bear upon him sin.” There are a number of questions that arise on this verse. Firstly, why does the Torah stress that one may not his hate fellow in his heart, thus implying that it is only forbidden to hate someone in one's heart, but not in any other way. And secondly, asks Rabbi Yehonasan Gefen, the verse ends with, "do not bear upon him sin," is unclear. What “sin” is this warning referring to? Understanding this commandment will give us a better grip on how to navigate difficult and uncomfortable social interactions.       
            The Ramban on our verse (and many other commentators) writes that indeed the Torah is focusing particularly on hatred that is kept back in one's heart to the exclusion of hatred that is expressed externally. The Sages explain that certainly it is forbidden to express one's displeasure with someone in a hostile fashion and doing so can involve a number of prohibitions, such as taking revenge and bearing a grudge. However, when one holds his resentment in, he is actually setting up a potentially greater disaster. The “hater” will (consciously or subconsciously) undermine the opportunities for success of the “hated.” He will show favoritism to anyone and everyone but the hated party. And he will only add fuel to the proverbial fire as he will interpret every interaction with the “hated” as incriminating. These reasons may be why the Sefer HaChinuch writes that internal hatred is worse than revealed hatred.             
             Let’s bring a specific example from the Torah. In the tragic, strife-filled relationship between Yosef HaTzaddik and his brothers, both parties are held responsible for various questionable actions. In the beginning of the story, the verse (Bereshis 37:4) explains how the brothers hated Yosef and could not speak to him peacefully - a seeming criticism. 
         But, Rashi brings a Medrash (Bereshis Rabbah 84:9) that this was actually meant as a credit to the brothers: “…to their credit…they did not say one thing with their mouth and think differently in their heart.” They didn’t fake being nice and then stab Joseph in the back since they didn’t possess a duplicitous nature. By showing contempt to Yosef, Yosef knew the score and would therefore keep his guard up. As the saying goes, “better the enemy I know than the one I don’t.”         
           And so, when we feel resentful for an extended period of time, we are encouraged to respectfully express our feelings to those who either offend us or bother us. We have to be careful not to accuse the other (i.e. not to say “you hurt me,” but “I felt hurt when...”).

Sometimes, the person will have a valid reason for why he did/said what he did and we will realize that we caused or contributed to the problem. Other times, the person will realize the error of his ways and apologize, restoring the relationship or (hopefully) bringing it to a higher level than before! This is a really worthwhile endeavor, as the Avos deRabbi Nosson states, "Who is the greatest hero? One who turns an enemy into a friend."                                                     

            And then there will be times that we are reminded that not all encounters have “storybook finishes” and the person will defend himself when he is clearly in the wrong, or worse, use our vulnerability to bang another nail into the relationship. It is then crucial to use this incident as an impetus to sever or avoid any meaningful interaction with the party in question. When the person discussed here is a “superior” or co-worker, perhaps it’s best to get the Human Resources Department involved to mediate the conflict. None of this is easy, but it must be taken care of before it gets out of hand.                                       

        At the same time, we need to always do a Cheshbon Hanefesh (personal accounting) on why Hashem chose to bring the difficult, frustrating, or annoying characters into our lives. The Talmud (Bava Metzia 59b) teaches us, “Don’t bother your friend with a flaw that you have.” Sometimes, what bothers us in others – especially in our children– is the very same deficiency we have. The schoolyard taunt of, “It takes one to know one” is fitting here. Therefore, an exercise in self-examination before and after the “release of our pent-up feelings” is crucial to determine if our annoyances are legitimate or are simply “transference” of our own drawbacks onto others.                                   

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             When it comes to marriage, one is advised to discard what was said until this point. Marriage is SUCH a different type of relationship that completely different rules apply. Rabbi Yitz Greenfield, a marriage therapist, points out that the default position in this kind of relationship is to try to be “Mevater” – to work through one’s issues with his/her spouse internally, while putting up a good show on the outside.  Rabbi Greenfield explains that when it comes to marriage, bringing up “problems” and negotiating their resolution should be approached in the same technique as running into a burning building. Just like in a burning building, there will be damage that needs to be fixed, so too, once any issue is mentioned in marriage, a distance will be created between husband and wife which will require an effort to repair. Furthermore, there is a 50% chance of an “explosion” occurring (in the building and in an argument). 

       So, to confront a spouse can only be under two circumstances: a) Atom Bomb Situations – when one feels so belittled and/or betrayed by his/her spouse that one simply cannot act normally towards him/her anymore, or, b) Toxic Pattern Situations – times when an issue is consistently recurring or there’s a burning resentment inside that breeds coldness. Only a fool would run inside a burning building without taking safety precautions; in this case, one take off one’s HATS, an acronym for the feelings of Hunger, Anger, Tiredness, or Stress. When experiencing any of the four emotions, one must avoid bringing up anything negative since in that scenario, an intensified conflict is pretty much guaranteed.                   

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                     We have to ultimately remember that every experience with another person is a test of our personal character. In order to survive and potentially thrive in interpersonal relationships, one has to lower his expectations of people, always give people the benefit of the doubt (innocent until proven guilty), and never stop working on oneself. In other words, we must endeavor to be the role models for the behavior we want to see in the world.

TORAH QUESTION OF THE WEEK by Rabbi M.D.Weiss

            In this week’s portion, we are taught the Mitzvah of fearing parents. Is this Mitzvah a duty of the heart (feeling of awe)? Or is this commandment one that involves a practical application (physical action)?                         

        Last week, we brought the Halachah  that one who missed aday of counting the Sefirah can no longer count with a blessing for the remainder of Sefirah. If a boy was counting since the beginning of Sefirah and never missed a day and then he became Bar Mitzvah during the days of Sefirah can he continue to count with a Brachah? Do we say that since he never missed a day, he can continue to count with a Brachah? Or, do we hold that since during his initial counting he was not Bar Mitzvah (obligated), therefore that counting wasn't officially mandated, and it is as if he missed a day?

                Answer: The Minchas Chinuch (Mitzvah 306) brings up this question. He proves from the Mordechai (Megillah, 698) who says that one who makes early Shabbos (A Rabbinical permission) can fulfill his Torah obligation of Kiddush during that time. It comes out that one's Rabbinical obligation can count to help him fulfill his Torah obligation. So too here, writes the Minchas Chinuch, even though the child’s obligation was a lesser requirement, still, since he was Rabbinically obligated to count, after he becomes Bar Mitzvah his counting just becomes a more serious event. According to this, he would be able to continue counting with a Brachah.
                The Maharam Shick on Sefer Hamitzvos (Mitzvah 307) disagrees with the Minchas Chinuch's proof. Nevertheless, he agrees with the ruling for a different reason. He posits that as long as one counted all the days - regardless of whether he was obligated to count or not - it is still called that the days are complete, and he may continue counting with a Brachah. This is because he is of the opinion that each day is a Mitzvah to count on its own (even according to the opinion that one cannot miss a day). It’s just that the “days” have to be complete. So, as long as one just counted, it is considered that his days of counting are complete.                                       

             The Teshuvos Mahahram Shick (O.C. 269) writes that one would be able to continue with a Brachah. In his responsa, he writes that it is because the child’s Mitzvah (though he isn’t obligated), if he is mature enough, it is enough of a Mitzvah to be considered a complete counting. The Ksav Sofer (shu”t O.C. 99) writes that the answer may depend on how the Mitzvah of Chinuch is understood. In other words, is the child himself considered Rabbinically obligated? Or is it upon the father’s shoulders alone to make sure his child keeps the Mitzvos? If we say it’s the child’s obligation, then his counting is valid. But if the obligation is the father's, then the child’s counting isn’t considered a Mitzvah. The Ksav Sofer concludes that according to Halachah, the Bar Mitzvah boy may continue to count with a Brachah.     

                     The Birkei Yosef (489:20) quotes the Pri Ha’aretz who says that he continues to count without a Brachah. However, the Sharei Teshuva (489:20) understands that the ruling of the Pri Ha’aretz was meant for a case where the child missed the first days. It’s obvious to the Sharei Teshuvah that when he did count from the beginning, he would continue to count with a Brachah. The Aruch Hashulchan (489:15) also rules that is obvious that he should continue counting with a Brachah. In Shu”t Rivovos Ephraim (4:130) this question is discussed in great length. He brings some opinions who say to continue counting without a Brachah. However, it seems that the majority of the authorities hold that it’s appropriate to count with a Brachah.    As always, please consult a Rav for all final Halachic rulings.


SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK                  

   Rabbi Elchonon Wasserman, HY”D, the Rosh Yeshiva of the Baranovitch Yeshiva, visited the United States in the latter part of the 1930s to raise funds for his yeshiva. Unfortunately, he made a greater impact on the America than America made on his yeshiva, and the funds raised did not help much. Reb Elchonon returned to a Poland clouded by the darkness of war to be with his students for the ensuing nightmare. The Nazis later murdered him together with his students in the Kovno Ghetto. While he was in the United States, he was accompanied by young, enthusiastic students who felt privileged to help the great sage in his efforts.                     

       Once, a student brought him to visit a wealthy man who had a philanthropic reputation. The young man was confident that the meeting would prove successful. Unfortunately, the expectations proved fruitless, and Reb Elchonon and the student were shown to the door, empty-handed. The young man left the house and sat down on the steps of the mansion utterly dejected. Reb Elchonon, who was quite tall, bent down to him, “Why are you so upset?” he asked softly. “Upset? Why shouldn’t I be upset? This man has the ability to support your whole yeshiva for a year, and he sent us away as if he does not have the ability to give even a dime!”                                                                                                                                           

            Reb Elchonon smiled. “The Torah tells us that Moshe was told to choose Betzalel to build the Mishkan. Let us assume that Moshe went in the street and asked where he could find Betzalel. Moshe was told that Betzalel could be found in the Bais Medrash. He went into the Bais Medrash and asked someone, ‘Are you Betzalel?’ The man said no. Should Moshe have been upset? Of course not! It’s not the man’s fault that he was not Betzalel! He was not born Betzalel and his job was obviously not to be Betzalel! Moshe went to another man. Are You Betzalel? Again the man said no! Should Moshe have been angry with him? Again, of course not! “Well, my son,” continued Reb Elchonon, “You can’t be upset with him! He is just not the man that was chosen to help!”           

Comment: All the interpersonal issues in the world would be non-issues if we just took Reb Elchonon’s wise life philosophy. Instead of getting all worked up over how people have fallen short in living up to our demands and expectations, we should realize that if they didn’t “deliver” perhaps, Hashem didn’t appoint them as the messengers for the job. In fact, we should pity them since it’s their loss!   (Thanks to R’Mordechai Kamenetsky for the story)

SUGARY SAYING OF THE WEEK 

“Holding grudges against another person is like letting someone live in your head rent-free.”

                                      -Rabbi Noach Orlowek, Mashgiach of Torah Ore and international lecturer. People want to know, “what is the most expensive real-estate in the world?” It’s in the matter between one’s ears. How pathetic, then, that so much of the space is occupied with obsessing over what someone else did or said to us. How lucky are those that are able to compartmentalize or block out all the pettiness and use his head-space for holy or positive thought patterns. For some, this would require major mental reprogramming in the form of intense Torah learning, in particular works of Mussar (Ethics), such as “Duties of the Heart” and “Path of the Just.”

SPONSORED BY THE UZHANSKY FAMILY IN THE ZECHUS OF REFUAH SHELEIMAH FOR LINA BAS ROCHEL

[Work-for-ur-muny]

Emor -- Protect the Dignity of Others

Once upon a time, a man who shall remain nameless called the director of a Tzedakah (charity) organization in Israel that shall also remain nameless. "I have heard that you do amazing work," he started, serenading the director with compliments. "I have a significant sum of money that I want to contribute, half a million dollars to be precise." The director was pleased, but part of him thought it sounds too good to be true. He was right. The wealthy fellow continued: "My only request is, that in order to verify you’re legit, I’d like to know the names of the people I'm supporting."

           "Sorry," came the response, "but we do not divulge the names and identities of the needy people on our list." The rich guy assumed this was a negotiating ploy and announced that he is willing to pay a million, but only if his demand was met.

         "It's just not possible," the director reiterated. "The privacy of our clients is paramount." The "Gvir" was relentless. "Okay, I hear what you're *really* saying...so, five million is my final offer." The director was resolute, stating, "You can give us all the money in the world, but those names will remain private!"

         What the "rich man" said next shocked the director to his core: "This is exactly what I needed to hear! You see, I lost all my money last year in the stock market and now I have no clue how I'm going to pay my next mortgage bill, or how I’ll get Shabbos food for that matter. I see from your commitment to maintaining the privacy and dignity of the poor that I can come to you and ask you to please help me."

             In this week's portion, Emor, Hashem instructs the Jewish land-owners that they need to a leave a corner of their fields unharvested to allow the poor to come and take (Vaikrah 23:23): "When you reap the harvest from your land, you shall not remove ... the corners of your field; For the poor ... shall you leave them." Interestingly, Hashem doesn't tell them to give some of their crops to the poor, but to leave some of their crops. Why is leaving better than giving? Shouldn't the poor people know their beneficiaries so that they would be able to thank them personally? After all, we have evidence in the Talmud (Beitzah 16a) that when a person does another a kindness, he should inform that person so that “love and brotherhood” between Jews is promoted. Therefore, we need to ask, why are we making this transaction so cold and detached?

            Let’s use a fundamental Jewish concept in order to understand one of the reasons for this commandment.

            ***
            In Jewish thought, there is a concept called Nahamah D'Chisufah, literally "Bread of Shame." A Jew is by nature bashful (Talmud, Yevamos 79a) and embarrassed to take from others, even if they are happy to give.  Based on this, the Rambam (Laws of Charity, 10:7-14) categorizes eight levels of "giving" (from lowest to highest). The top five are: 5) when one gives to the poor person directly into his hand, but gives before being asked; 4) when one does not know to whom one gives, but the poor person knows his benefactor; 3) when one knows to whom one gives, but the recipient does not know his benefactor; 2) when neither the benefactor nor the recipient know each other (like the "anonymous fund" set up in the Beis Hamikdash); 1) when one supports a fellow Jew, entering into a partnership with him, or finding employment for him, in order to strengthen his hand until he need no longer be dependent upon others. Upon closer examination, a common thread starts to emerge from all five categories.   
        The commonality, in ascending order, is the protection of the receiver's dignity and lessening of the shame of taking. So much so, that in the highest level, the person feels almost no shame since he is “earning his keep”.  Obviously, there's still a debt of gratitude and that is essential, preserving a human being’s dignity is the more important consideration, as we see from this idea. Therefore, when we do a favor for another, if that person will feel uncomfortable, we should NOT remind him, or at times, even inform him of our favor/generosity.

            To sum up, we need to know that we are not only forbidden to embarrass others, we have to actively protect their dignity and help them avoid/dismantle situations which cause them shame. Let’s look at four types of people about whom this applies.

                 The first type of person is one who accidentally “messes up” and feels ashamed guilty about it. Our task is to make them feel better immediately. A beautiful story (heard from Rabbi Zvi Myer Zylberberg) comes to mind to bring this point home. A number of years ago a unique manuscript came to light in the Cairo Museum of Antiquities. The manuscript was a previously unknown work by one of the Rishonim (earlier commentators). Its existence came to the attention of a certain Jew whom we shall call ‘Reb Shalom.’ Reb Shalom made it his business to track down and publish such manuscripts. Reb Shalom made overtures to the Egyptians. They were unresponsive. Undeterred, Reb Shalom went to work. He galvanized every source of pressure he could bring to bear. He lobbied Senators in Washington, Members of Parliament in Westminster. Eventually, the Egyptians were prepared to listen. To the Jewish People, the manuscript was priceless. To the Egyptians, it was worth three-quarters of a million dollars. 

        Three-quarters of a million dollars is not a paltry sum by anyone’s estimation. Reb Shalom did not flinch, and in due course the money was paid and the manuscript delivered. With great eagerness, Reb Shalom and his team of experts gathered around as the manuscript was opened. Silence fell upon the room as, for the first time in centuries, the holy words of the manuscript greeted the eyes of those who truly knew their meaning and significance. And then, one of Reb Shalom’s colleagues leaned forward to examine a certain line, and in doing so his coat brushed against a large Styrofoam cup that held a full cup of hot coffee. The material of the coat barely grazed the cup, but it was enough. The entire contents of the cup spilled over the delicate manuscript. Within seconds the entire manuscript became a sodden un-decipherable mess. The man who had spilled the coffee slumped into his chair with his head between his hands. The room filled with a deafening silence. After a few moments Reb Shalom walked over to the man, put his hand on his shoulder and said: “Don’t worry. We’ll get you another cup of coffee.”
            Mind you, this comment wasn’t uttered mockingly. It was said out of true concern for a fellow Jew's honor. This Jew, with his automatic regret, was an instantaneous Ba’al Teshuvah (penitent).
    The Torah commands us not to remind in any way a former sinner of his past misdeeds (Bava Metzia 58b), as this is tremendously embarrassing. Sometimes, we find curious FFB’s (the born-observant) asking the Baalei Teshuvah about what bacon (or any Treif) tastes like or prying about other indiscretions. This, the Sages say, is a form of humiliation.

            The second type of person is one who erred but doesn't realize it. It’s no simple matter to claim that it’s our place to reprimand them. Just because we are “close” to the person in question, doesn’t mean we have carte blanche to “unload.” Sometimes, our closeness is the very reason we should find another messenger, in front of whom they wouldn’t be as embarrassed. (This is why Shadchanim/matchmakers should usually be the ones to break off a match.) If we are the best person for the task, other considerations are crucial to keep in mind. If there is a crowd, it’s obviously the wrong place. If the person is told straight out and immediately, he will defend himself so as not to be ashamed. Yet, there are times people need to be reprimanded on the spot, their “embarrassment” notwithstanding. For example, if a kid is running across the street into traffic, it doesn’t matter who you are or how he will feel, you have to make get him to realize the danger of what he is doing.

                    ***                                                                   

              The third person is one who messes up and doesn't feel bad at all - there are no regrets in the actions, no empathy for failing in a relationship, and not even a sense of guilt. This can be a serious sign of emotional or mental distress. If the person in question is our child or student, caution must be taken not to overdo it. In fact, how we approach them can be crucial to the survival of the relationship. There are guidelines to this, such as attacking the action and not the person, not "kitchen-sinking" (mentioning all the other times he/she messed up) or telling them they are an embarrassment to us. Any act of disrespect or cruelty can have long term damaging effects. We must stress to them that our relationship will survive and that we care for him or her. And then there’s got to be actual love shown. Let’s remember: the indifference of the individual can only be turned by the soft hand of acceptance.

            The fourth and final person is one who messes up intentionally. This is an act of rejection that can only be corrected by severe action and proving to the perpetrator that the world he is creating will destroy itself. In this case, "tough love," not nurturing of the ego, may be the kindest act of all.
            In conclusion, we should always let the principle of, “don’t do to others what you don’t want to be done onto yourself” (Talmud, Shabbos 31a) be our guide before we act. 

TORAH QUESTION OF THE WEEK by Rabbi M.D.Weiss


            In this week’s portion the Torah states about Kohanim, “V’kidashto” - make him holy. From here the Talmud (Gittin 59b) learns that we are obligated to honor Kohanim. For example, we must allow him to lead Bentching, get the first Aliyah to the Torah, and so on. Question: can a Kohen forgo these “honors,” or must he accept it even against his will?

            In last week’s portion, we brought up the Mitzvah of fearing parents. Is this Mitzvah a duty of the heart (feeling of awe)? Or is this commandment one that involves a practical application (physical action)?             

     The Talmud (Kiddushin 31b) tells us what is considered fear [of one’s parents]: one is not allowed to stand or sit in their place; one cannot contradict his parent nor be “Machria” (see below) their parents. Also, one cannot call their parent by name (ibid). The Rambam lists this restriction under the obligation of “fear.” So, we see that there are definitely practical applications to the Mitzvah of fearing parents. We will expound a bit about the laws pertaining to the aforementioned restrictions.                             

         1) As far as calling a parent by name, we learn that one cannot call his friend by name if they bear the same name as their parent. However, there is a difference between a common name and an uncommon name. If it’s a common name, it’s only forbidden to refer to the friend by name if the parent is present. On the other hand, if the name is uncommon, one should not refer to his friend by name - even when not in the presence of the parent. (Y.D. 240:2, see Shach and Taz).                                                                     2) In regard to sitting or standing in place designated for parent. One should not sit in the seat at the table designated to one’s parent. This applies even if the son isn’t eating there. According to the Taz, one may stand in a place the parent usually used for sitting only (e.g. at the table). If it’s a place used also while standing, as in shul, the son may not stand there. However, the Aruch Hashulchan writes that it seems to be common practice for a son to take the place of his father in shul when the father isn’t there. He writes that this may be justified by arguing that once it has become common practice, it is as if the father gave explicit permission for the son to sit there.                       

              3) We mentioned not being “Machria” a parent. This means that not only can one not contradict them, but also, if the father is having a debate with someone the son may not say “I agree with my father’s opinion.” [For showing that your fathers opinion requires your validation is a lack of respect] (Y.D. 240). (See Shach and Taz with regard to contradicting the opinion of a parent when they aren’t present).

                In regards to whether fearing parents is also a Mitzvah of the heart (a feeling of awe), The Sefer Hachinuch upon introducing the Mitzvah of fearing a parent writes as follows, [It is a Mitzvah] to fear one’s parent, meaning to say he should act towards them as one would act with whom he fears. This terminology seems to indicate that the Mitzvah is limited to outward action and not a duty of the heart. However, it should be noted that the Chayei Adam writes that included in the Mitzvah of honoring one’s parent is to honor them in one’s thoughts; to think that parents are to be considered great and honorable people in the son’s eyes, even if others view them as simple people. He writes that this is the main part of honoring one’s parents.


SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK       

              Rav Elazar Shach O"BM was once seen by a student just before Yom Tov, carrying a bag of groceries through the street, quite a distance from his home. The student approached the elderly Rosh Yeshivah and offered to carry the bags for him, but Rav Shach refused. "Why couldn't the Rosh Yeshivah have sent one of his grandchildren to purchase the groceries?" the student asked.

              "I don't understand," Rav Shach replied. "Nobody seems to think buying a Lulav and Esrog for Sukkos is beneath one's dignity. The holiday needs are also a Mitzvah. Why should it be beneath my dignity to buy them myself?"

       Comment: When it comes to doing Mitzvos, one should never feel that it is beneath one’s dignity to do them. Why should we blush when we have to stand in prayer in an airport of in front of other people who don't/won't understand what we are doing? Why do we have to apologize for fulfilling our duties to our Creator? We should be proud! (Story from Power Points by Rabbi E. Nisenbaum)



    SUGARY SAYING OF THE WEEK   

     “He who attaches himself to those who are doing a Mitzvah, gets the reward as if he is doing the Mitzvah himself.”         

                                     

            -Rabbi Akiva, the great Talmudic Sage (Makkos 5b), whose Yartzheit/anniversary of passing from this world - according to many opinions - was on Lag B’Omer, which is coming up next Thursday (May 26th). The biggest merit for a deceased person on his Yartzheit is to learn his Torah (and remember the lessons and morals he imbued upon those around him and the future generations). Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai also left This World on that day and as such, we should to review his teachings. This practice is the best elevation for all departed souls. 

SPONSORED BY THE BINYAMINOV FAMILY IN MEMORY OF BARUCH BEN RABBI NISAN ON HIS YARTZHEIT

[Work-for-ur-muny]

Behar - The Best Stress Relief in the World

Something was wrong with Miriam Bertanovich. She just wasn’t herself lately, so her husband Moishe decided she should go to the doctor. After a long appointment Miriam came out. "Moishe, the doctor has advised me that I’m stressed and that I should take a one-month vacation to some place tranquil like the Caribbean or the South of France. Where shall we go?”  Moishe thought about it for a second and said, “To another doctor!”                                           
              Books on “stress” have been flooding the literature market. And for good reason. According to statisticsbrain.com, 77% of Americans regularly experience physical symptoms caused by stress, and 48 percent claim a negative impact on their personal and professional life due to said stress. Furthermore, the annual cost to employers in stress-related health care and missed work is over $ 300 Billion. Evidence shows that stomach ulcers, headaches, chest pain, obesity and long-term depression are all mainstay symptoms of stress.         
                   Each book offers another reason why today’s society is more stressed than any society in history. Some claim that manic multi-tasking leads to stress. Others believe that an insecure job market, financial over-extension, information overload, dual-income families, and marriage all lead to stress. But, despite all the solutions the secular experts offer for stress-relief, little progress in the area is being made (prescription drugs aren’t a “solution.” Let’s then turn the tables and ask, what is the Jewish solution to stress?                   
       ***                     

            This week’s portion, Behar, opens with the Mitzvah of Shemittah. Shemittah is what we call a “Sabbatical year,” a Shabbos for the land in Israel – which is the seventh year of the agricultural cycle. During Shemittah, farmers and land-owners are enjoined to cease from all activity, including plowing, planting, pruning and harvesting. The Torah introduces Shemittah as the Mitzvah Hashem told Moshe on Mt. Sinai (Behar). The very first Rashi in the portion (Vayikrah 25:1) asks a penetrating question. Rashi wonders what makes Shemittah so special by asking, “weren’t all the Mitzvos introduced at Mt. Sinai?” The Ksav Sofer writes that the reason Shemittah was featured is that actually all the Mitzvos are based on the principles and lessons of Shemittah. How so?                   

              Rabbi Yehoshua Goldstein (of the Chicago Community Kollel) offers the following explanation. Agriculturally, the best thing for the land is to plant one year, and let it rest the next. Shemittah laws tell the farmer to plant six years in a row and let the land lie fallow on the seventh and Hashem then sends a blessing that the 6th year will produce enough crop to last three years (6th, 7th and 8th). As such, Shemittah teaches us, in no uncertain terms, that the land truly belongs to Hashem. Our work and effort are NOT the cause of the land yielding fruit.  In essence, the Mitzvah of Shemittah is educating us in the concept of Bitachon, Trust in Hashem, our G-d.

            Let’s clear up a major misunderstanding about Bitachon. Bitachon does NOT mean everything will be “honky dory;” that one can walk through a dangerous neighborhood at night and not get mugged. Rather, Bitachon can be defined as trusting that, 1) Hashem creates reality moment by moment in a way which reflects His awareness, involvement, and compassion; and 2), we would wish reality to be exactly the same way if we saw where present events are ultimately taking us. (Heard from Rebbetzin Tzipporah Heller)  These ideas might be easier to understand intellectually than to put into practice when challenges arise.

                You may recall the anecdote (printed in the Sukkos 5774 Edition) about a fellow who went hiking and slipped to the point that he went plummeting down a mountain to what seemed like certain death. In desperation, this fellow somehow managed to catch hold of the tree which was hanging out of the cliff face. A non-believer his entire life, the man reached out to G-d for the first time in his life, proving the maxim of, “there are no atheists in a foxhole.” All of a sudden, he heard a Heavenly Voice offering help. "Is someone up there?" the hiker asked, almost giddy. "Yes, it’s G-d!" came the response.                       

               "G-d!?" he exclaimed, "Wow, I always believed in you deep down! Can you please throw me down a rope?"                                 

        "I have a better idea," the voice boomed. "Instead of the rope, why don't you just let go of the root and I will catch you and bring you back to the top of the cliff." "Um, I don't know about that," he replied, in hesitation. "Well, do you believe in me now?" asked the voice. "Yes, but..."                                                                                     

           "So, it's simple, then. Let go of the tree branch!" the voice instructed. The man thought for a few seconds and then yelled out, “is there anyone ELSE up there?”                                                             

           We laugh at this poor fellow’s remark, but how many of us are the same way? We learn how Hashem takes care of us and we teach it to those around us. But when we don’t have enough money to pay the bills, we panic. When we can’t find a parking spot and we’re late for an appointment, we grow anxious. And when anything doesn’t go as we planned, or our plans are met with technical or human obstacles we become nervous wrecks. “Trust in Hashem” needs to work on an emotional level so that when we are inevitably tested, we remain cool, calm, and collected. So, the question becomes: how do we acquire this habit?                                                                           

***                                                                               

                 The first piece of advice is to work on the trait of patience. In our hectic world, patience is at a premium. So, when you’re standing in line, seemingly wasting time, try to use this relatively minor situation and speak to your Creator. “Hashem, I know that standing here is the best possible scenario for me. Either I’m unknowingly being saved from a bad situation, or being set up for some sort of benefit.” This type of strategy works on two awesome qualities simultaneously. One, practicing this in minor situations will give you the mental toolset for the more serious challenges. And second, conversation with Hashem is known to be extremely therapeutic. People pay $200 an hour to have a psychiatrist listen to their problems, when they can get the same service free of charge. (This is not to discount all human-based therapy – at times, it is absolutely necessary for the mental success of a person).                   

                  The second piece of advice is to keep a journal of “Divine Providence Events” – situations when it LOOKED like the worst thing possible would happen, but it turned out for the best. We could draw from personal experiences and also read stories of other people who experienced a crisis, only to see the loving “Hand of Hashem” in the end (see Story of the Week for one such example). These stories keep our minds focused on the positive, instead of being steeped in worry.       

             The third piece of advice is to be careful not to place our trust in people, as King David writes (Tehillim 146:3), “do not trust in princes (nobility).” People are wonderful, but the minute we start relying on them is the minute we open up ourselves for conflicts and letdowns. Humankind is all too fallible to come through on a consisten basis. Furthermore, attributing “success” to anyone but Hashem is not very wise and certainly not appropriate. (We can say thanks, though).           

            On the flip side of this, a verse (Vayikrah 25:35) later in our portion says, “If your brother becomes destitute…you shall support him,” to remind the freshly-minted man of faith that all the lesson “to have Bitachon” should be applied to ourselves, and not told to poor people who need our help. When it comes to helping others, we’re meant to personally get involved and assist as much as we can.       

   ***                                                                                       

      In summary, the reason Shemittah was chosen as the central Mitzvah by Hashem, is to teach us that one who has Bitachon has the foundation to succeed in all other Mitzvos. He won’t kill, steal, or desire that which doesn’t belong to him because he is confident that whatever he needs Hashem will provide, and if he doesn’t have it, he doesn’t need it. Certainly, Bitachon requires lots of emotional work, but the result -a stress-free and happy life - are certainly worth the investment!


TORAH QUESTION OF THE WEEK by Rabbi M.D.Weiss

            In this week’s portion, we are taught the Mitzvah of Tzedakah (Vayikrah 25:35, see Y.D. 249:6). Is it permitted for a recipient of charity to divulge the identify of his benefactor to other needy individuals?

            ***

            In last week’s portion the Torah states about Kohanim, “V’kidashto” – “and make him holy." From here the Talmud (Gittin 59b) learns that we are obligated to honor Kohanim. For example, we must allow him to lead Bentching, get the first Aliyah to the Torah, and so on. Question: can a Kohen forgo these “honors,” or must he accept them even against his will?

            Answer: The Mishnah (Gittin 59a) tells us that our Sages instituted that the Kohen receive the first Aliyah (call-up to the Torah) because of “Darchei Shalom” - to keep the peace. No one would fight over the first Aliyah, since it’s only available to the Kohen. The Talmud (ibid.) asks, how can we say that it’s due to Darchei Shalom - isn’t it a Torah obligation? We learn from “V’kidashto” that a Kohen is to lead the blessings at a meal, be the first to speak at a gathering, etc. The Talmud answers, that if it were just due to “V’kidashto,” a Kohen would be able to forgo his honor and give someone else the opportunity of the first Aliyah!                                                                                               

                Therefore, the Sages came along and said that the first Aliyah should always go to the Kohen to avoid quarreling. We see from here that when it comes to leading Benching after meals or being the first to deliver a speech, a Kohen may forgo his honor. But when it comes to the first Aliyah he must accept it.                                                                                             

   There is another Halachah in connection to the Mitzvah of “V’kidashto.” The Rema (O.C. 128:45) writes that it is forbidden to use the service of a Kohen because it is like Meilah B’Hekdesh, embezzlement of consecrated funds - unless the Kohen doesn’t mind. From this, we see that the Rema obviously holds that a Kohen can forgo his honor. However, the Taz argues and says he cannot forgo his honor in this case. The difference between the case of leading Benching and the case above is as follows: leading Benching and the like is a form of honor which he is permitted to forgo, but using a Kohen’s services (for free) is somewhat of a disgrace to his honor and he has no right to cause disgrace to the holiness of Priesthood.           

                  The Taz agrees that one may use a Kohen if he is paying for his services. Also, the Kohen may serve an honorable person as he derives personal pleasure from serving such an important person. The Mishna Berurah writes that it is worthwhile to be stringent and follow the Taz’s opinion (He also adds that surely one should avoid using a Kohen for lowly and menial types of service).

                The Biur Halachah (128:45) writes that it’s possible that one Kohen may use the service of another Kohen. Also some are lenient with regard to using the service of a Kohen Am Ha’aretz (unlearned Kohen).

            For final rulings, please consult a Rav.


SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK

   Rabbi David Ashear relates how a man told him that a few years ago he was unemployed for an extended period of time and was struggling with his finances. Then, a businessman came along with an attractive job offer. It was exactly the offer he had been waiting for, and his life seemed to be changing. Finally, he had hope. Before he could even sign the contract, an adversary from his past bad-mouthed him to the businessman, and he was rejected. The man was stunned. The accusations were entirely false. He pleaded his case with the businessman, but to no avail. At that moment, he felt as though his world was crashing down.                                                                                         

   He went into his car and cried like a baby for a half-hour. After a half-hour, he said to himself, “What am I doing? Why am I crying? This is from Hashem. It must be for the best. I am not going to let this break me. I will just move on and do the best I can.” The next six months were extremely difficult, as he struggled to get by financially. Then, came Hashem’s salvation, arriving in the blink of an eye, as we are taught.” Someone else approached him with a job opportunity; he signed, and is now doing well.                                                                               

           Meanwhile, the office of the man who had offered him the job a half-year earlier was raided by the police, and the entire staff was arrested on fraud charges. All the employees are in trouble with the law. “I was crying in the car,” the man reflected, “for something that ended up saving my life. I don’t know what I did to deserve such kindness. What I thought was my biggest problem was actually my biggest blessing. It’s so clear now.”

                Comment: It doesn’t mean that every airplane one misses is going to crash, or every opportunity that’s snatched away isn’t a consequence of one’s own mistakes. Rather, we should learn that when things do happen, we don’t need to feel helpless or utterly devastated. We are not in charge of our destiny. All we can do is try our best, stay confident, learn from our mistakes, and vow to not repeat them…and of course, pray to Hashem to help us emerge from all challenges with a healthy (and not bitter) attitude.

                Story Reproduced from "Living Emunah” by Rabbi David Ashear, with permission of the copyright holders, ArtScroll/ Mesorah Publications, Ltd.


SUGARY SAYING OF THE WEEK:

“In G-d, we trust. All others pay cash!”         

   - Humorist Jean Shepherd. The false sense of security brought on by having numerous zeroes in one’s bank account is a challenge Western society is failing. The endless pursuit of capitalism, of “having” even over “spending” is troubling. Money is worshipped to the point that it’s a deity to many. Yet, money in Arameic (Zuz) means “to move.”  This is teaching us there’s a Kosher way to earn interest on our funds. When we share our wealth or contribute to a Gemach (free-loan society) we earn dividends because that money will continue to benefit many needy people in this world and us in Eternity.

SPONSORED BY THE MR. AND MRS. BARRY MANN AS A MERIT FOR A REFUAH SHELEIMAH FOR CHAIM BEN SABICHA

[Work-for-ur-muny]

SUDDEN TURNING POINTS IN HISTORY

SHAVUOS INSIGHTS –
Sometimes, a split-second decision has the ability to change the course of history forever. On August 29th, 1963, Martin Luther King Jr. made his fateful "I Have a Dream" speech, which remains widely recognized as a groundbreaking moment in the Civil Rights Movement, as it eloquently paved the way for integrationist success. However, the original speech was meant to end before he flew into this passionate plea. King made his decision last second to address civil issues and as a direct result, the racial and social landscape in the U.S. completely changed. (Rosa Parks’ refusal to stand up to give her seat to a white was another such moment).
          Our Holy Torah is replete with recordings of history-altering decisions. To name just a few: When Chava ate from the Tree of Knowledge, death was brought into the world; when the Jews sinned with the Golden Calf, their relationship with Hashem was drastically affecte3d, and when the host of a certain celebration refused to allow a man named Bar Kamtzah to stay at his party, events were set in motion which led to the destruction of the Second Bais Hamikdash (Temple).           
        ***                                                                               
         When the Jews accepted the Torah on Mt. Sinai, they changed history forever. This is because if they didn’t accept the Holy Document, the world would’ve ceased to exist (Talmud, Avodah Zarah 3a). And so, when we read Megillas Rus, it too, must be to highlight the theme that the decisions we make have long-term ramifications. What decision was made in the book of Rus? Let’s set the scene by summarizing the story.                   
          A righteous man named Elimelech of Bethlehem departs Israel for Moav, taking his wife Naami and their two sons along. He then dies in Moav. His wife and sons stay and marry non-Jewish women – Moabite princesses by the names of Rus and Orpah. The sons too perish, and at last, Naami resolves to return to Israel, widowed, childless and impoverished. Naami’s daughters-in-law, Rus and Orpah, accompany her along the road. As is clear from the Talmud (Yevamos 47b), they were not doing so as a mere courtesy. They, too, wanted to enter and reside in the Land of Israel. Over their years of marriage, they had become attached to Judaism. They wanted to become full-fledged Jewesses. As is Torah law, Naami attempts to dissuade them three times. Two times they hold firm; on the third, Orpah weakens and leaves. Rus, on the other hand, decides to stay with Naami and undergo a full-scale conversion to Judaism.           
         The fallout of the decision of these two princesses significantly affected the course of history. According to the Talmud (Sota 42b), Orpah soon thereafter engaged in immorality and begot four giants, one of whom was the dastardly giant, Golias. Rus, on the other hand, fought off her doubts and recommitted herself, telling Naomi: “Where you go, I will go; your people shall be my people, and your G-d, my G-d.” (Rus 1:16) From Rus, came King David (who famously smote Golias) and consequently, the royalty of Moshiach. And it was all sealed with those words spoken during that brief exchange.

            Of course, not every decision one makes is eternity-altering. Some decisions are reversible and undoable (in case of poor decisions, they can be erased through Teshuvah - sincere repentance). But, the frightening - yet equally empowering – takeaway is that we simply cannot tell which decisions will affect us and how much. In order to put ourselves in the best possible position to decide with success we need to utilize several important realities working in our favor.         

        One, we’re really fortunate to have the Torah, which contains priceless insights for every imaginable situation. Two, we have wise Torah leaders in our midst who can advise/guide us how to proceed. Three, we should treat our spouses and friends in such a way that they feel comfortable enough to rebuke us when we veer off course. That, on its own, needs a great deal of self-negation and humility, only acquirable by great contemplation and intense learning. On Shavous, we remember the choice of Rus, who through self-sacrifice lives on forever and continues to accrue countless merits thousands of years after she left this world. This is what embracing the Torah life can do to and for a person.       


BAMIDBAR INSIGHTS – THE TROUBLE WITH DIVISION


          Preparations for the holiday of Shavous are nearly complete. Cheesecake? In the oven. Coffee? Fully in stock. Learning partners and shiurim (Torah classes) schedule for all-night learning? Already set up. Enough reading material and board games for the children for a three day Yom Tov? Wouldn’t dream of doing without those. Flowers and decorations for the shul? Check. Finding the precondition for accepting the Torah in the portion of the week?  Hmmm. Well, don’t worry, after reading this article, you’ll be able to mark that off your list, as well!

            ***

            This week’s portion, the beginning of the fourth book of the Torah, Bamidbar, starts off (Bamidbar 1:1-2): “The L-rd spoke to Moses in the Sinai Desert, in the Tent of Meeting on the first day of the second month, in the second year after the Exodus from the land of Egypt, saying to count them.”  Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky, OB”M, wonders why Moshe wasn’t commanded to count the Jews as soon as they left Egypt. Additionally, what does the portion of Bamidbar, which doesn’t have a single Mitzvah in it, have to do with the holiday of Shavuos? The Talmud (Megillah 31a) answers that we were instructed to read the curses found in the last portion of Vayikrah (Behukosai) before Shavuos. However, in order not to enter Shavuos with the curses on our minds, we separate them by reading Bamidbar (Tosafos to Megillah 31b). That response, however, doesn’t explain why Bamidbar specifically was chosen. What is it in the portion that makes it a literal “must-read” before the holiday?                                            ***                                                                         

                    When we think about the various challenges plaguing the Jewish people today- and really throughout history - high on that list would be the challenge of “Achdus”  (total and complete unity within our ranks). Because of our stubborn nature (see Shemos 33:5) and due to the winds of exile sweeping us away from each other, we Jews have fought inner fragmentation for millennia now.

            This concern is what bothered Moshe Rabbeinu. Rav Kamenetsky explains that when the Jewish people left Egypt, any immediate “division” would have been catastrophic, because each tribe would be fighting with the other, naturally jostling for position, honor, and influence that’s up for grabs. As a remedy before the disease, the Jewish people spent the first year building and then inaugurating the Mishkan. The Mishkan thus became the Jews’ single unifying purpose and mission, their sole focus of attention. And, as a result of this national building project, we truly became “one nation, with one heart.”  Once the Nation of Israel achieved total connectedness and share a singular foundation, could Moshe Rabbeinu divide the tribes and assign their roles. The Jews had learned there is no more “I,” just “us.”  This is the sublime and fundamental message of the first verse in Bamidbar, and one of the key reasons we read it before Shavous. We cannot accept the Torah, if we are separated as a people.  As the Talmud teaches (Berachos 63b), “the knowledge of the Torah can be acquired only in association with others.”                                                  ***                                                                                                                                            Instead of looking at how different we are, let’s (at the very least) appreciate the unique skills and strengths each part of Torah Jewry brings to the table. Let us appreciate those with incredible mastery of prayer. Let us be in awe at the selflessness of those who do Kiruv (those who bring Jews back closer to their roots and heritage). Let us be mesmerized with those who show great respect to their Rebbes’ deeply-held customs and traditions. And let us marvel and take example from those who flourish in their diligence to learn the Talmud.                                                                  Some might seek to “label” these approaches to serve Hashem, but we should be careful not to fall into this trap of stereotyping, thereby marginalizing and restricting the greatness of our many national skills and talents. Interestingly, Rav Moshe Feinstein, OB”M, suggests that the reason why we read Bamidbar is that it discusses the census, which implies the central message that every single Jew counts and is valued. Whether if one is Chasidishe, Lubavitch, Sephardi, or Litvish, we each have a role to play and need to focus all our personal and communal energies and talents towards making the Name of Hashem great in this world, like the Mishkan did in the Midbar (Desert).                                                             

           When we unite as we should, ignoring all the petty differences, we can rest assured that our Final Redemption isn’t far behind. So, what are we waiting for? Let’s find a Jew with whom you haven’t bonded with and learn something from him this Shavous. We’ll be pleasantly surprised at the gain!         

       

      TORAH QUESTION OF THE WEEK by Rabbi M.D.Weiss


            In this week’s portion, we read about the counting of the Jews. We’re taught (Talmud, Yoma 22b) that it’s forbidden to count Jews (that’s why they were counted through a half-shekel-giving system). Is it permitted to count Jews (by counting something else) if it’s not for a constructive purpose? Is one permitted to count by counting a finger from each person?

***                                                                             

            Last week, we brought down from the Talmud (Pesachim 50b) that one should study Torah even not for its own sake (but for ulterior motives) for this will eventually lead him to study Torah Lishmah (for its own sake). If that’s the case, how to we reconcile this concept with the teaching (Berachos 17a) which says, “one who studies Torah for the wrong motive is better off not being born?”                                   

           Answer: The Tosafos (Berachos 17a, Nazir 23b, Taanis 7a) answers as follows. If one’s ulterior motive is to learn for the sake of gaining honor for himself, though this is not a praiseworthy intention (as one should be learning for Hashem’s honor) it’s still encouraged, since it will hopefully lead to learning with pure intentions. On the other hand, if one learns for the purpose of “outdoing” his rival in learning, the Talmud says of him, “it would be better off not being born.”

                Rav Elazar Moshe Horowitz OB”M finds Tosafos’ explanation difficult to understand. This is because the Talmud (Nazir 23b) cites Balak as the model to the concept of having “positive” ulterior motives. To elaborate, in order to “convince” Hashem to allow him to curse the Jews, Balak brought sacrifices to Hashem. His intention was surely for the purpose of undoing his enemy, the Jews. Still, he merited that Rus descended from him and from Rus came King Shlomo. About King Shlomo it states that he brought one thousand sacrifices to Hashem, each of which was brought with pure intentions. So, we see that even though Balak’s intentions were for the undoing of the Jews. His deed earned him the merit of being an ancestor to someone who would do a similar act with the best intentions. Thus, writes Rav Horowitz, this seems to contradict what Tosfos teaches us.                                                                         

            Rav Horowitz then offers the following to reconcile the contradiction. If a person learns without the intention of [ever] fulfilling what he learns that’s when it is negative. However, as long as one plans on fulfilling what he learns it’s positive even if his intentions aren’t noble. The Tosfos (Sotah 22b) takes this approach, as well. He writes that when one has no intention of fulfilling what he learns, it’s to his detriment, because now he knows his behavior is wrong, yet he doesn’t attempt to refrain from it. But, if he learns/keeps the Torah for the sake of being rewarded by Hashem or to save himself from punishment, it’s still considered worthy  (See Tosfos, Pesachim 50b for more).

     


SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK


         A rabbi once visited the illustrious Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, who was called "the Steipler Gaon," and told him that he was looking for a Shidduch (marriage partner) for his granddaughter. The rabbi asked the Steipler what traits were important to look for in a young man, and the Steipler responded, "Diligence in Torah learning, common sense and good character." The visitor wondered, "If he is immersed in Torah and has achieved greatness in it, won’t he automatically have good character?"                                                                 

         "Not necessarily," responded the Steipler. "A student leans on his "shtender" [learning stand], learning Torah diligently in Yeshivah for many years. A shtender is a convenient creation. It never asks for help with anything, like to take out the garbage or to buy something at the grocery, and it never gets angry. There was never a shtender in a bad mood, or a shtender that expected someone to speak kind words of encouragement to it. No shtender has ever gotten sick and required medical treatment. Suddenly, that same student has to begin living with another person, a wife to whom all the above conditions can occur. The suitor therefore has to have good character."                                                                         

     Once again the rabbi asked, "doesn’t the Torah refine a person?"   Certainly," responded the Steipler. "There are some who, had they not learned Torah, would be predatory beasts. Yet by virtue of their diligent Torah study they have escaped wickedness. Still, that does not suffice for them to have good character. Only if someone works on himself, engaging in much study of ethics, constantly examining his spiritual condition, and breaking down his bad traits and lusts, can he become a person of good character."                                   

      Comment: "Learning Torah and Living Torah are two different entities. One who learns but doesn’t live Torah is (in a way) worse than one who does neither, because people (incorrectly but unavoidably) judge Judaism by the Jew and his behavior. Living Torah means watching wiser and older people and emulating them. Good character isn’t something a person is born with; it takes a lifetime to acquire. Learning is step one in this journey. (Story from Mevakshei Torah, Chapter 5, Kovetz 23).


      SUGARY SAYING OF THE WEEK


     “The Jews waited three days before Matan Torah (Giving of the Torah) so that no one could say they rushed into its acceptance without thinking.”


                                                  - The Talmud (Shabbos 87a) says that Moshe Rabbeinu added one more day to the preparation for this moment. The Chasam Sofer explains further that being given this period was to make sure no person would be resentful that they didn’t have a choice. Only once the Jews committed themselves did Hashem pick up a mountain, hold it over their heads and force them, “sealing the deal” for those who had commitment issues (a.k.a. the “cold-feet” syndrome).

[Work-for-ur-muny]

Nasso -- The Residual Benefits of Blessings

Successful business people will tell you that one strategy to financial success is to trade passive income (a set salary every year) for residual revenue opportunities. The most classic example of that would be an artist - like a musician - earning royalties on his work long after he has stopped composing (or in some cases, decomposing). Now, we know that the material world is a symbolism to a deeper spiritual reality, and concepts that exist here are meant to teach us something holy. So, where can we find the idea of reaping benefits beyond their shelf-life?

            ***

             This week’s portion, Nasso, contains the command given to Kohanim (Priests of the Jewish Nation) to bless the Jewish people: “Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying so shall you bless the Children of Yisroel, say to them…” (Bamidbar 6:23). The commentators are perplexed as to the nature of this Priestly Blessing. It’s unclear who the ultimate “beneficiary” of the Priestly Blessing will be (ibid 6:27), since it is written, “They shall bestow My Name upon the children of Israel, so that I will bless them.” Who’s “them?” Is Hashem going to bless the Jews, or the Kohanim after they bless the Jews?                                                     

          To understand this, we need to understand how a Berachah (blessing) works. Rav Eliyahu Dessler, O”BM, in Michtav Eliyahu (Volume II) writes that a person doesn’t have the power to bless someone else. Human beings aren’t the don’t decide who gets what, only Hashem does.           

      So, what is a “blessing?” It’s a prayer to Hashem that He should give the person success. But here’s the best part: anyone who gets involved in acknowledging Hashem as the Source - and reaches out to him for the sake of another Jew – benefits in the process! How do we know this? The Torah explicitly promises that anyone who blesses a Jew will be blessed. Hashem tells this fact to Avraham Avinu (Bereshis 12:3). Certainly, the Kohanim aren’t needed to be involved in “blessing,” but our Creator made a system of spiritually residual income, and in His Infinite Kindness, showers blessing on those who wish others well. Blessing others is a pretty good business investment, to the point that the Talmud (Bava Kama 92a) promises that he who prays for his friend’s success is answered first for his own needs!

            ***                                                         

             It comes out that one doesn’t have to be a Kohen in order to gain access to the wellspring of blessings. A person can simply follow the system above - with the intentions centered purely for the other party - and watch his own life be blessed. How can that be achieved? 
            Rabbi Zelig Pliskin writes that he knows an individual who has the ability to help others see what is good about them. Once R’Pliskin asked him, "What thoughts go through your mind when you meet someone?" The man replied, “I always mentally bless people with success in what is important to them."                                                            Indeed, a story is brought down about Rabbi Noson Tzvi Finkel of Slobodka OB”M that illustrates how blessing others doesn’t even need their presence. Rav Finkel would sometimes sit near the window of his house and quietly bestow blessings and prayers on all those who passed by. Once, when Rabbi Finkel was walking down the street, he turned toward a house and said, "Good morning." When asked, Rabbi Finkel explained that blessing others has the added benefit of building positive relationships. 
          "Most people only wish someone a good morning when they see them face to face,” he said. “But even when we do not see them, we should still develop good will toward them."                                                       This is why there is an opinion in Rashi (based on the Talmud in Chullin 49a) that it is the Kohanim who are truly blessed when they bless others. While we are on the topic, let’s take this opportunity to analyze the actual wording of this three-fold blessing the Kohanim (and parents on Friday Nights) give over. The blessing states: 1) May G‑d Bless you and guard you, 2) May G‑d shine His countenance upon you and be gracious to you, and 3) May G‑d turn His countenance toward you and grant you peace.” (Bamidbar 6:24-26)                                     
***                                                                               
The first part - May G‑d bless you and guard you - is referring to wealth. We should have the necessary material possessions, and they should not become a curse in our lives (as is the case with some “rich” people). Rav Simcha Hakohen Sheps, OB”M, the Rosh Yeshiva of Torah Vodaas, explains that this blessing is for contentment, satisfaction and joy in what one has! Furthermore, this part concludes that Hashem should guard us that we don’t lose our wealth/possessions, either by robbers (Rashi’s understanding) or through poor business decisions.             
         The second part -May G‑d shine His countenance upon you and be gracious to you – is referring to having a good relationship with Hashem. We want Hashem to impart His Presence into our lives on a regular basis. It is a different life when we feel Our Creator holding our hand wherever we go and unshakable Trust in Hashem with anything we do. Rabbi Avigdor Miller OB”M suggests how we can secure this blessing for ourselves. Since Hashem operates His world measure-for-measure, for Hashem to shine His Face on us, we need to shine our face to other people. This starts with smiling, greeting others warmly and before they have a chance to greet us, as Shammai taught (Avos 1: 15).                   
          And last (but not least), the blessing finishes with, “May G‑d turn His countenance toward you and grant you Sholom.” Sholom can be taken on several levels. First, there is the respite from our enemies, those nations of the world who try to destroy us. Second is the type of harmony with other people in our lives, especially our spouses, parents, and children. In this case, Shalom doesn’t mean “peace.” Having Sholom doesn’t mean we never argue; but, when we inevitably disagree with people we live with and spend time with, we still treat each other with respect and are able to compartmentalize our feelings in order to move on with life. Rav Guttman (of Ramat Shlomo) offers the following beautiful insight. We know that Aharon Hakohen brought about so much peace between people that in his merit, Bnei Yisroel received the Ananei Hakavod (Clouds of Glory). Clouds are formed through vapor. It was the kind words that people used to bless Aharon for the peace and happiness that he brought them, that rose up like vapor and formed the Ananei Hakavod. The third type of Shalom is inner serenity. People can have money, do Divine Service and get along with others, but deep inside there’s still a void, a feeling of unrest or anxiety. Working on inner calm is a life-long challenge, but when we are blessed by Hashem through holy people, we stand a better chance. 
***                                                                               
        We would be remiss if we didn’t point out how people can lose the very blessings they were bestowed with. The Talmud (Bava Metzia 42a) warns that “blessing” only comes on something that cannot be seen. When we “show off” the blessings in our lives to others, we can initiate a series of harmful consequences. People who see how good someone has it start to get jealous. Think of how a person who’s having a hard time making ends meet feels when someone tells him that he got a promotion and is earning a nice end-of-year bonus.  Even the best of us, no matter how much we work on ourselves, would entertain a passing thought of, “how come he deserves it, while I, who work harder and longer hours have to borrow money to pay my monthly bills?”         
                We wrap/cover ourselves in a Talis when we get these special Berachos. It’s done not just because of the holiness, but to remind ourselves that flaunting our blessings could arouse envy, which activates the Evil Eye and creates a risk of judgment being brought on us, causing us to lose these precious gifts. How lucky are those who safeguard their blessings from peering eyes of curious people, divulging details of their “good fortune” on a need-to-know basis. This lesson cannot be repeated often enough in a generation where social media like Facebook put tremendous pressure on people to turn their lives into a public exhibit.

          TORAH QUESTION OF THE WEEK by Rabbi M.D.Weiss

            This week’s portion contains the Mitzvah of Birchas Kohanim. The Kohanim must lift their hands during the blessing (Sotah 38a). If a Kohen’s too weak to lift his hands, may he bless the congregation anyway?

            ***                                                                                       

   In this week’s portion, we read about the counting of the Jews. We’re taught (Talmud, Yoma 22b) that it’s forbidden to count Jews (that’s why they were counted through a half-shekel-giving system). Is it permitted to count Jews (by counting something else) if it’s not for a constructive purpose? Is one permitted to count by counting a finger from each person?                           

       In the Book of Shmuel (Shmuel II, Chapt. 24), it relates that King David took a census of the Jewish people. As a result, a plague came upon the Jews where thousands perished. The question is, how did King David make the error of counting the Jews? The Ramban (in the beginning of Bamidbar) has two approaches: 1) David actually took the required half shekel for counting them. The reason there was a plague was that even when taking the money donation for atonement, it’s only permitted to count Jews for a purpose. David’s counting was without constructive purpose, since it wasn’t a time of war (when they would have to count the soldiers). Rather, David counted them merely to rejoice over the fact that he was king over such a numerous nation. 2) It is only permitted to count Jews from the age of twenty and above even when using half a shekel. David counted them from the age of thirteen and up. For this, there is no permission and that is why the plague resulted. According to the first approach of the Ramban it would be forbidden to count Jews for no constructive purpose even through half a shekel (or by other means). According to the second approach, it may be permitted as long as one isn’t counting all Jews from the age of thirteen and up.                                       The Ohr Hachaim Hakodosh discusses this issue (Parshas Ki Sisa) and concludes as follows. In the case of the counting of the Jews after the sin of the Golden Calf (as in Ki Sisa) -  even though it was for a purpose - since the Jews had just sinned, the counting had to be done through a donation of half a shekel and just giving anything else wouldn’t suffice. This is because atonement was necessary. In a case where counting is for a purpose (e.g. going to war) and no sin is in place, they can be counted through any item (e.g. shards of earthenware - see Talmud, Yoma 22b). But, if there’s no purpose in a census, a count cannot be done through other items except through a donation of half a shekel which would help prevent any plague.               

           With regard to counting the fingers, when counting through another item is permitted, a finger count is permissible. We see this from the source of this prohibition (Yoma 22b). It states that the Kohanim would stick out their finger when counted for the purpose of deciding who should be the one to do the service. The Talmud asks, “why couldn’t they count the Kohen himself?” It answers that it’s forbidden to count Jews even for a Mitzvah, and that is why their fingers were counted. From here we see that counting of the finger isn’t considered counting the person himself. The Pardes Yosef explains that this is because the prohibition is only with counting the head or a part of the body that a person’s life is dependent upon. This week’s discussion is based on Pardes Yosef on Parashas Ki Sisa/see also shu”t Chasam Sofer Kovetz Teshuvos siman . For final rulings, please consult a Rav.


     SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK

          A husband and a wife came to Rabbi Israel of Koznitz (also known as the “Koznitzer Maggid,”) They’d had a big fight and wanted a divorce.                                                                                                                      “My wife,” complained the man, “every week she makes a delicious kugel (potato cake for Shabbos). I love that kugel! All week I work and shlep, just for that kugel! When I just think of that kugel, my mouth starts watering . . . But what does this foolish woman do to me? She torments me! After I recite the kiddush, do I get the kugel? No-o-o-o. First she serves the gefilte fish, then the soup, then the chicken and the potatoes. Then, a couple of other dishes, and then I’m full - I can’t possibly take one more bite. Only then she brings in the kugel! Now, shouldn’t I divorce her?”                                                                                                 The wife explained that in her parents’ home it was always done this way. She wouldn’t budge. The Koznitzer Maggid thought for a few moments and said, “I hear you both and I have a solution that I think will appease each of you.” He addressed the wife: “From now on, you should make two kugels - one to be eaten right after kiddush, and one to serve during the main course. The couple smiled at the solution and left, reconciled.                                                                                    From that day on, the Koznitzer Maggid also always had two kugels at his Shabbat table—one right after kiddush, and another one after the main course. This is how the Shalom Bayis Kugel (“harmony in the home kugel”) was born.             

     Comment:  In last week’s portion, Nasso, we learn about a Sotah - a woman who is suspected by her husband of unfaithfulness. The Torah prescribes a special mixture, "Sotah Water" to ascertain whether or not the suspicion is accurate. The “Sotah” process entails the dramatic ritual of erasing G-d's Name by placing it in water and forcing the Sotah to drink the water to prove her innocence.                                                                                                                                                   Why did Hashem make this process dependent on what would otherwise be a great sin of erasing His Holy Name? To teach us that Hashem is willing to forgo his own honor just so Sholom between husband and wife is achieved. Not only should we be careful in our own home to preserve harmony with our spouses, we should actively promote Shalom between others, always praising a wife to her husband and husband to his wife (while maintaining modest conduct with the opposite gender). Those people who derive any sort of enjoyment watching spouses bicker or worse, saying things to cause rifts will have a lot to answer for one day.

SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK

“If you see something, do something!”

-          The Talmud (Sotah 2a) says that when someone sees a SotaH he should make himself into a Nazir. One explanation is that when he sees what being involved in worldly pleasures (even permitted ones) can bring to, he should distance himself from those pleasures. Whatever Hashem wants us to see, we are shown and cannot just ignore or cough it up to chance. Whether it’s learning what not to do when seeing someone fail, or taking inspiration even from simple, hard-working people, our job is to do something!

[Work-for-ur-muny]

Behalos'cha -- Askan You Shall Receive

Two burnt-out factory workers were once comparing notes. "I can make our boss give me a day off," one bragged. "And how would you do that?" his colleague replied. The man said, "Just wait and see." He then hung upside down from the ceiling. The boss came in and asked, "What are you doing?" to which the worker replied, "I'm a light bulb." The boss felt bad. "Oh my, you've been working so much that you've gone crazy - I think you need to take the day off," he suggested. As the worker got up to leave, his colleague started to follow. The boss stopped the second man in his tracks demanding to know where he thought he was going. The man sighed and calmly answered, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark!"                           
          Some jobs in the world are simply thankless - the stress level is high, the working environment is dangerous or overly-demanding, and the public’s respect for the position is low. The top ten list of such jobs includes farmers (whom you never meet), social workers (who are underpaid for helping people get on their feet), and window-cleaners (who risk their lives for the benefit of your view). Even less appreciated, though, are the teachers and parents who invest in their students and children their very being and only see the fruits of their labor many years later, if at all. And finally, anyone in a leadership or decision-making position usually gets more criticism and less understanding and cooperation. This group of unsung heroes includes Rabbis, Gabbaim (shul supervisors), and managers. These people don’t even have a mandatory “Appreciation Day” to acknowledge all the hard work they do for the sake of their constituents or dependents.                                                               ***                                                                       
             In this week’s portion, Behalos’cha, Moshe gathers seventy elders and brings them to the Tabernacle where Hashem’s Holy Spirit is imparted upon them. Two additional elders, Eldad and Medad, remain in the camp, and the Ruach Hakodesh (Holy Spirit) descends upon them, too, and they prophesize (according to one Talmud opinion) that “Moshe shall die and (his student) Yehoshua shall bring Israel into the Land.” Now, Yehoshua was Moshe’s prized pupil. He loved his teacher dearly, and as someone who spent time with the greatest prophet in history, he was appalled at their chutzpah, and at the suggestion that Moshe would not be the one to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land. Yes, Eldad and Medad received true prophecy, but they were not commanded to publicize this information. And so, the verse says, Yehoshua came to Moshe and asked, “Moshe, my master, make an end of them!" (Bamidbar 11:28)                                                                 
            The commentators deliberate whether Yehoshua meant to have Eldad and Medad actually be put to death. Since the behavior of the two didn’t warrant the death penalty, most go with the understanding that he requested they be “imprisoned” in order to learn their lesson. Rashi, however, brings the view of the Talmud (Sanhedrin 17a) that as a consequence, Yehoshua wanted Moshe to impose Tzorchei Tzibbur, the yoke of communal responsibilities, upon the pair.                     
       Why? Because the thankless position of serving others’ needs would wear them out, which in turn, would cause them to lose the joy needed to operate as prophets. Sadness pushes away the Divine Presence, as we see that Yaakov Avinu’s low spirits upon losing Yosef for 22 years stopped him from receiving prophecy during that time.   
            So, based on this Talmudic “revelation,” we can add another group to the list of the overworked and unappreciated people: “Askanim,” activists/doers on behalf of the Jewish community. “Askan” is a noun derived from the verb osek (to involve oneself or engage oneself). The classic reference to this is in the Yekum Purkan, a prayer recited on Shabbos (after the Torah Reading) in which we ask for “blessing and good fortune for those engaged faithfully in communal endeavors and all who support the community with acts of righteous charity.”                                                               
             Being a faithful Askan is no easy task. Through self-sacrifice, Askanim enter the dirty world of politics to make sure their Jewish brothers and sisters have the same opportunities and benefits like the rest of society (or the minorities). They travel to Washington to appeal to the President or the members of the Congress, much like in Ancient times, Talmudic sages travelled to Rome to plead for equality and peace for their people. In modern times, Askanim had to petition the U.S. government to save European Jewry from the throes of the Holocaust and to rescue Russian immigrants from persecution during the era of the Iron Curtain.                        One example of a phenomenal Askan was Rabbi Moshe Sherer OB”M (of the Agudas Yisrael of America) who, in his 76 years on Earth assisted with all of the above, plus fought to reclaim Jewish cemeteries then-owned by governments and private hands in Eastern Europe, and aided in retrieving Jewish assets held by the Swiss after WWII. On top of all that, Rav Sherer battled vehemently to stop assimilation and promote Jewish education (by facilitating the Daf Yomi movement).       
       ***

            When we examine it closely, Askanim have an uphill battle on every side. They have to combat their pride/ego and learn to give in to Da’as Torah (Rabbinical Authority) and sometimes face the embarrassment from the irreverent secular officials. Askanim have to stay away from the corruption and bribery that comes as part-and-parcel of the job, while facing allegation from the very people they represent that they are crooked and self-serving manipulators. Some Askanim fall to the pressure and become unethical, but the segment of those who stay “faithful to the cause” never get the acknowledgment or respect they deserve. This is why we are told to pray for Jewish activists’ welfare. This is also why anyone who “does” (wholeheartedly) for the sake of his brethren is promised that his righteousness will endure forever.” (Avos 2:2)

            Not all of us can be full-time activists, but we can all do more in terms of facilitating Jewish causes, on a global, communal, and personal level. Globally, the environment around us needs our attention. Not only should we be careful to recycle and not litter/pollute the atmosphere, or to preserve energy, we need to keep our eyes wide open when we see injustice or potential harm transpiring. Next, we are taught (Avos 2:5) not to separate ourselves from the Tzibbur (community). So many people are in need of work, charity, a marriage partner, or just plain Chizuk (someone to pick them up and hear them out). There are unfortunately widows, orphans, sick or older people who feel so alone. How can we not call and visit them, or send them a Shabbos desert? This is a real priority for us.                           Most importantly, a word about activism on the home front. Let us not wait to be asked to take out the garbage or help a child with his or her homework. Let us keep our eyes open on the needs of our spouses, who are also always in need to be noticed. Eldad and Medad’s consequence teach us that thankless job drain people, but they still must be done. How much better off would our families and society be when we recognize all those for the incredible effort that goes to making us safer, taken care of, and developed?          ***                                                                             

      Let us jump-start - or restart - the “activist” attitude and approach by showing our debt of gratitude to those who don’t get thanked nearly often enough. A good way to accomplish that is to either personally walk over (or write a letter) to the Rabbis, community lay leaders, shul presidents, as well as those who distribute Aliyos to the Torah. Let us also encourage others, especially our children or students, to recognize these selfless Askanim. This much-needed exercise will hopefully inspire and train the next generation to be oriented and responsible for the needs of our Nation.


TORAH QUESTION OF THE WEEK by Rabbi M.D.Weiss

            Rashi teaches us (Bamidbar 10:29) that Reuel was the father of Yisro and hence, the grandfather to his daughters of Yisro. If so, asks Rashi, why does it say that the daughters of Yisro came to their "father" Reuel? Rashi answers that from this verse we see that children refer to their grandfather as “father.” Is the obligation for one to honor his grandparent similar to the obligation of honoring a parent?

            ***                                                               

             Last week’s portion contains the Mitzvah of Birchas Kohanim. The Kohanim must lift their hands during the blessing (Sotah 38a). If a Kohen’s too weak to lift his hands, may he bless the congregation anyway?                 

        The Noda B’Yehuda (Orach Chaim kama, 5) was asked an interesting question: “If a Kohen is too weak to lift his hands for Birchas Kohanim (Priestly Blessing), may he attach something to his hat where he would be able to stick his hands in, in order that they would be supported enough to be kept up?” The Noda B’Yehuda first goes to prove that the lifting of the hands is an absolute requirement and a Kohen cannot say the blessing without it. He writes that we can compare this to the requirement of the Kohen to stand during Birchas Kohanim.         

           The obligation of standing is a Torah requirement, as we find in the Sma”g. Therefore, since the Rambam and Shulchan Aruch place the requirement of lifting the hands along with the requirement to stand, we can conclude that they are at the same level of stringency. Now, continues the Noda B’Yehuda, since the obligation to stand and to lift the hands are of Biblical origin, one may not use other support to stand or to keep his hands up. Rather, he must be able to support himself.                                                                       

         Also, it is written (Vayikrah 9:22) with regard to lifting the hands, “Aharon lifted his hands,” which indicates that he lifted them by his own strength. Therefore, he concludes that a Kohen may not use a “support system” to lift his hands. The Mishnah Berurah (128:52) quotes this ruling of the Noda B’Yehuda. The Mishnah Berurah also quotes the Ksav Sofer who writes that while a weak Kohen must lift his hands while saying the blessing, he may put them down to rest between words, while the Kohanim are singing. 

        For final rulings, please consult a Rav.


SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK

          Before the High Holy Days, Rav Yonasan Eibishitz, OB”M, would seek a Jew who’d pray in a brokenhearted manner. He wanted to stand and pray next to such a person during those crucially important prayers. One year he felt confident that he had found the right person­a simple, elderly man who literally wet the pages of his siddur with his tears. He overheard this man concluding his prayer with heartfelt words saying: I am ‘earth’ in my lifetime, how much more so in my death. He knew that he had found the right person.                                                                       

      That night, the night of Yom Kippur, he arrived at the synagogue early to get a seat right next to this person. The prayers that night and the next morning were beautiful and the devotion and humility of the person next to him contributed greatly. However, when it came time for the reading of the Torah, Rav Yonasan’s happiness with his choice turned to shock. When this man was called to the Torah, he turned angrily, demanding to know why someone else had been called for the more honorable Aliyah. “Am I less deserving than he?” he said with rage.                                     

        Rav Yonasan couldn’t believe his ears. “Didn’t you say last night that you are like earth in your lifetime?” he challenged the elderly man. “Of course!” he answered, still fuming. “When I was praying before Hashem, I said and felt that I was like earth! But compared to that man? I’m much better than he and I should have gotten called up to the Torah!”                                                       

               Comment: We find in this week’s portion that Moshe Rabbeinu was described as “exceedingly humble, more than any person on the face of the earth.” (Bamidbar 12:1-3). Moshe was even more humble than Avraham Avinu. How? The Talmud explains: “Avraham said, ‘I am earth and ashes;’ Moshe said, ‘And we are what?” Rav Meir Shapiro explained that Avraham negated his self-importance when he was speaking to Hashem. Moshe’s statement was that much greater because he negated his self-importance when he was responding to the lowly people who were complaining against Hashem that they would die of hunger in the wilderness. We can achieve humility only when we stop looking down on ANY person.


SUGARY SAYING OF THE WEEK

“As is the generation, so is the leader.”             

               

    - Talmud Yerushalmi (Arachim 17a). The verse in this week’s portion commands: “Make for yourself two silver trumpets...and they shall be YOURS for the summoning of the assembly." (Bamidbar 10:1). The Talmud (Menachos 28b) teaches that all of the vessels that Moshe Rabbeinu made could be used by later generations, as well. However, the trumpets were for Moshe to summon the nation and could not be used by subsequent leaders.                           

        Rav Eliyahu Schlesinger suggests that there’s a simple lesson here. The way the leader of one generation calls his flock and relates to his congregants and followers will not necessarily work for the leader of the next generation. Each generation has varying ambitions/morals and deserves to be led by those who are on a similar wavelength. So, when a crass egomaniac and career liar emerge as the two best candidates to lead America, we see the above quote ring truer than ever.

[Work-for-ur-muny]

Shelach -- Beware of Selfless Motivations

 With terrorist attacks on U.S. soil now becoming more commonplace, the Western world is reeling, trying to get into the minds of the “animals” who are willing to kill themselves for the cause of ISIS. How it is possible, the experts wonder, that so many people are joining ISIS? The numbers don’t lie. According to a Reuters report, more than 250 Americans left the country to join Islamic State Since 2011. The same report adds that overall, nearly 30,000 people from around the world have traveled to the region in the same time frame.                                 
       Many analysts suggest because most of the radicalized are youth, this is nothing more than an “act of rebellion” that is synonymous with the age bracket. Other theorize that the fanatics are “glory seekers,” driven to become famous even if it’s through a despicable forum. Yet others are motivated to act in revenge for some sort of injustice done to them. But all of the radicals, in order to be dedicated to the cause completely, are brainwashed by the terror group, which uses chic technological advances to their advantage. And what is the underlying missive that they constantly drill? The message is that killing infidels - all those who don’t practice their religious values – isn’t a necessary evil; rather, it’s the biggest “kindness” one can do for humanity. And once a person believes that with his very being, there is NOTHING any person can do to stop him, to the point that he’s willing to give up his life for the “righteous” cause. 
***                                                                             
         This week’s portion, Shelach, discusses the dispatching of twelve spies (Meraglim) to Israel to scout out the Land. The Talmud (Sotah 34b) explains that before the mission, Moshe prayed for one the spies, his student Yehoshua, and even changed his name, as it says "Moshe called Hoshe'a bin Nun 'Yehoshua'"(Bamidbar 13:16). Rashi (on the verse) explains the reason:  "He prayed for him, “May G-d (Y-A) save you” from the plot of the spies. The obvious question that should jump out at every careful follower of the story is, why didn't Moshe pray for the other spies, well? Is it a matter of protecting his prized pupil, or is there something deeper here?     
       The Zohar says the spies were concerned that upon entry into the Land of Israel, they would lose their prestigious positions of honor. Therefore, they had a hidden agenda to sabotage the mission. But, Yehoshua also had a reason why he didn't want to encourage the nation to enter the Holy Land. In last week's portion, Eldad and Medad prophesized that Moshe would die upon entry to Israel. Yehoshua felt that Moshe’s leadership was irreplaceable. So, if the Jews didn't enter the Holy Land, according to the prophecy, Moshe would consequently remain the leader! According to the Kornitzer Rebbe, this calculation was Yehoshua’s motivation to undermine this mission.       
       It comes out that the challenge of the Yehoshua was greater than the challenge the other spies faced. Why? Because the spies had to battle a "straight-up" evil inclination. Deep down, they knew they were in the wrong, but had overwhelming emotions and selfish interests pushing their goals. Yehoshua, however, felt that Moshe should remain the leader BECAUSE it would be in the best interests of everyone. To Yehoshua, this wasn't a selfish incentive; he’d be doing the Jews – and the world at large - the biggest kindness! 
    Someone who is CONVINCED he’s doing a Mitzvah is far more dangerous than an outright sinner, because a wrongdoer might let his conscience stop him at some point, whereas the self-convinced Mitzvah-doer won't stop at anything. Now we can understand the Talmud (Chullin 91a) which records an argument between two Rabbis regarding the physical form which was given to angel that Yaakov Avinu wrestled (Bereshis 32:25). One opinion is that the angel looked like an idol worshipper, while the other view is that it was just the opposite – the angel looked like a great scholar!       
       Sometimes, we see that the Yetzer Horah tricks us by appearing to us cloaked in righteousness. So, before we act, we have to be careful to ascertain that our Mitzvos are REALLY Mitzvos. Let us take a few moments to touch upon two sensitive categories where people THINK they are doing a Mitzvah, when in reality, they’re committing a grave sin.                       
          The most common area where we are absolutely convinced that our act is a Mitzvah is in the category of Loshon Horah (Evil Speech). Obviously, we don't mean to speak poorly of another person with no good reason. Everyone knows – or should know – that it’s wrong. Rather, the discussion is about L’Toeles,  constructive Loshon Horah, or when one deems it necessary to inform others about a person's "misbehavior."                               
        The Chafetz Chaim writes, there are actually seven preconditions, a check-list that the “would-be” speaker must go through before opening his mouth to constructively speak Loshon Horah: 1) the information is determined to be completely accurate; 2) It’s DEFINETELY wrong  (sometimes, what one may think is a misdeed may in fact be permitted by Halachah); 3) Attempts were made to help the sinner repent; 4) Not a single detail is exaggerated; 5) the intention must be solely to help the person who is being victimized; 6) there is no other way to change the situation; and 7) one is not allowed to convey the information if it will result in the subject suffering a greater loss than the Torah law allows.                   
        It is absolutely critical we review these Halachos often, as situations come up when a person feels “wronged” and has the irresistible urge to "let things off his chest," particularly at home to his spouse. Whether it was something someone did or said at work or in shul, or anything else that bothers him about another party, “evil speech” becomes de facto fodder for a therapeutic exchange. There is no allowance to speak poorly of anyone in order to simply feel better inside. A person is meant to actually try to work out his issues with another person in his mind and heart, or as mentioned above, through a productive confrontation. Only when that has failed, can he approach his Rebbi to figure out together whether he is allowed to divulge anything negative to a third party.           
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          The second major area where we have to check if it’s really a Mitzvah (and not just assume it is) is in the realm of criticizing others. We cannot just walk up to someone and tell them what they are doing wrong. Doing that is asking for trouble. The Mitzvah of Tochacha (reproof) also comes with its own set of terms and conditions.                                 
         Let’s list three: 1) one has to assess that there is at least a reasonable possibility of the person listening to the “critic.” One can draw from past experiences, the subject’s personality and mood, and relationship to the critic; 2) the reproof has to be given over in a non-aggressive manner, and never in front of people (Talmud, Arachin 16b); and 3) One has to make the person understand that the only reason they are being “criticizing” is out of genuine love, and it is for his own good, so that he can inherit Olam Habah (the Next World). If all three of these prerequisites aren’t met, then it’s a Mitzvah NOT to give reproof, but instead keep quiet and find the right person for the task (See the Sefer Hachinuch, Chapter 239 for details).               
  On a final note, we also need to be mindful not to justify our wrongful behavior. People’s nature is such that they cannot live with themselves if they’re not feeling symmetry between their beliefs and their actions (based on the Cognitive Dissonance Theory). So instead of doing Teshuvah, many people find it simpler on themselves to rationalize their mistakes. We know that the trajectory for repeat sins as well as addictions and bad habits is that after a while, the sins become permissible in one’s mind (Talmud, Kiddushin 40a). Eventually, these very sins become Mitzvos in our minds.                                                                                   
           Remember that the Evil Inclination is there to confuse us into going astray. Therefore, the best weapon to fight it is to think deeply, consult and confer with wise Sages, learn a lot of Torah, and maybe even ask a big Rav to pray for us (that’s why it pays to have some sort of “Shaychus” – relationship with special Rabbis). If the righteous Yehoshua wasn’t immune to this kind of temptation, how can we fool ourselves into believing we won’t be affected?

TORAH QUESTION OF THE WEEK BY RABBI M.D. WEISS

             As we learn about the renaming of Moshe’s student to Yehoshua, let us ask: is there reason not to name a child after someone who died young?

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  Last week, we asked if the obligation for one to honor his grandparent similar to the obligation of honoring a parent?

                The Maharik (Shoresh 30) writes that a grandchild has no obligation to honor his grandparents. This is because we don’t find any source that mentions this to be obligatory. What the Talmud (Kesuvos 103a) does state is that one must honor his stepfather and stepmother (in addition to his parents). Also there’s an obligation to honor one's older brother. But, there’s no mention of the grandparents. The Maharik then challenges this idea by bringing up the Talmudic statement (Yevamos 62b) that, “Grandchildren are like children,” which implies that a grandchild must honor a grandparent just like a child would honor a parent.         

     The Maharik retorts that the statement there is limited to the Mitzvah of “Pirya V’ribya” (having children). If one fulfilled his obligation by having a son and daughter, and subsequently - Chas V’shalom - one or both of them died, then we say that if his child left over a child of their own, the grandfather can fulfill his obligation through that grandchild (details in Shulchan Aruch, Even Haezer 1:6).The Bach (Yoreh Deah 240) takes issue with the ruling of the Maharik and posits a few questions to disprove the latter's opinion. We’ll mention a few.                             

                      1) Rashi (in Parshas Vayigash, Bereshis 46:1) quotes the following Midrash: “One is required to honor his father more than his grandfather.” This indicates that one must honor his grandfather. It is merely that the honor of one's father takes precedence over the grandfather’s.                                                                 

      2) The Midrash proves that one must honor his father-in-law from the fact we find in the writings of the Prophets that a father-in-law was referred to as “father.” If so, one must surely honor one's grandfather who is referred to in the Torah as “father” (Bereishis 28:13).                                                                       

       3) The Talmud (Kiddushin 30a) states that a grandfather is required to teach his grandson Torah. If the grandchild is considered as a son with regard to the grandfather's responsibility to teach Torah, the grandfather should surely be regarded as a father for honor purposes. The Bach is therefore of the opinion that one must honor a grandparent.                           

       The Rema (Shulchan Aruch, Y.D. 240:24) first brings the ruling of the Maharik; then, he writes that he disagrees and rather one is obligated to honor his grandparent, pointing out that the fathers honor takes priority. (see Biur HaGr”a).      For final rulings, please consult a Rav.


SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK

           A Jewish Russian burly soldier from the Soviet army once walked into an inn and sat down to eat. Of course, as is the way of unrefined soldiers, he unleashed a slew of profanities. He ate with his hands, without making blessings, and revolted everyone present. The Chofetz Chaim OB”M was also staying in the same inn and the wayfarers came over to ask him to approach this man and talk some manners and "consideration" into him. The Chofetz Chaim walked over, sat down right next to the soldier and began: "I’m impressed with what a Tzaddik you are! All those years in the Russian Army and you never converted?"                                         

           The soldier looked at the saintly Rabbi and suddenly broke down: "Rebbi, you have no idea what I went through. The Soviet Army took me away from my family when I was five years old. They tried so hard to convert me. They beat me. They starved me. They put me into a little room in a Siberian Camp and I couldn't sit down because I was freezing cold. But through all this, I want to tell you that I knew one thing I knew I'd never convert - I was, am, and forever will remain a Jew!"         

           Comment: It feels so much more suitable to speak Loshon Horah about a wrongdoer or to criticize them. It’s easier, too! But, as elaborated on in “Portion Insights,” just because something feels like the right thing to do, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s so. We Jews aren’t supposed to go with a natural response. Instead, when dealing with others, we need to look for something about them that we understand and appreciate and only then can we ask of them. This lesson applies to family members. Our spouses and children need to feel that we are on their side.       

       The Chafetz Chaim could’ve easily told this soldier how depraved he was – but the man already knew that. The Sage opted to find the good in him, and because he returned those feelings, the man eventually did Teshuvah and took on a Torah-observant lifestyle. How many wayward children would already be on the “home-track” if instead of being attacked, they were shown some “real” care?


SUGARY SAYING OF THE WEEK

       "One who keeps the Mitzvah of Tzitzis can be saved from forbidden desires."                       

-   In the prayer prior to donning our Tallises (which can be found in some Siddurim), we ask our Creator that through this Mitzvah we should become Kadosh (holy) and conquer our baser desires. Indeed, our Torah portion commands one to wear Tzitzis, which will remind him to do all the Mitzvos and “not stray after his eyes and heart” (Bamidbar 15:39)  Let us take this message with us as we enter the spiritually challenging months of summer!

SPONSORED BY DR. AND MRS. WILLIAM FINEMAN OF   PHILADELPHIA IN MEMORY OF THEIR PARENTS: DANIEL    AND NATALIE FINEMAN & LOUIS AND MARY KLEIN 

[Work-for-ur-muny]

Korach -- The Honor Roll Has Open Spots

For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased, and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor. Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly killed myself."   The boss looked at poor Johnson with bewilderment and asked, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?"

            One of the most important aspects of job satisfaction is having a good boss. Some people would actually take a pay cut if they could work for a manager or owner they like. And what are the most telltale signs of good bosses? One, they hold themselves accountable and don't blame everyone else when things go wrong. Two, bosses lead by example. Three, they are understanding of the needs of their workers. But perhaps most importantly, they understand and live by the following principle once expressed by American author and motivational speaker Zig Ziglar: "You don't build a business. You build people. And then people build your business!" A savvy boss knows that complimenting workers, sometimes admitting their employees right, and honoring them for their accomplishments isn't just good for them, it's good for business. In recent surveys, more than a third of employees who had recently quit a job said the #1 factor in their decision was a lack of appreciation/recognition for their contributions.

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   In this week's portion, Korach, Moses' first cousin - Korach - stages a rebellion against Moshe and Aharon. Together with a few ringleaders, he gathers 250 men of renown and accuses Moshe and Aharon of power hoarding (Bamidbar 16:3): "The entire congregation is holy, and the L-rd is in their midst. So why do you raise yourselves above the L-rd's assembly?" Korach and company took specific issue with the appointment of Aharon as High Priest. Clearly, Korach wanted the mantle of Kehunah (Priesthood) for himself.                   

              Now, Korach was no slouch. His entire life, Korach was a righteous man, esteemed by many, and according to the Medrash (Esther Rabbah 7:5), he was one of the wealthiest two people in the world. But Korach’s undoing was the pursuit of honor, as the Mishnah (Avos 4:21) teaches, "...honor (chasing) takes a person out of this world." Indeed, those who run after honor end up hurting themselves. Instead of worrying about doing one's mission in this world in the limited time one has, honor-chasers spend every waking moment worrying that they didn’t get enough of it. This obsession and paranoia suck all the “life” out of people.

            But here’s the conundrum. The very Torah that teaches us not to seek honor for ourselves, instructs us to honor others. The Fifth Commandment is “Honoring Parents.” We are enjoined to honor our Rabbis and our teachers, and who can ever forget how honoring one's spouse is essential to any marriage? But, if honor is damaging for a person, why honor people? Aren't we setting a “stumbling block in front of the blind” (Vayikrah 19:14)?

         Says Rabbi Dovid Kaplan: our job is to honor others, because a person’s honor belongs to him. We cannot withhold something that’s not ours from its rightful owner. The “honoree” could choose to take their honor too seriously, or forego it (like a father allowing his son to sit in his seat), but it’s not our business to decide. Korach’s dilemma was that his entire life he was getting honor from others and influencing people, but suddenly, he found himself in a precarious situation, bald and stripped of the newly-established power. And Korach couldn’t handle that. The most difficult thing for a talented person to deal with is when he feels he is able to contribute but is not given the opportunity. As a response, said person will still leave his fingerprints all over the place, albeit in a detrimental way.                                 

            A contemporary example of this phenomenon was 1920’s New York Governor, Al Smith (heard from Rav Dovid Orlofsky). Hailing from a poor family, Smith made a name for himself by being extremely studious and driven to help destitute people (by changing economic laws and instituting social programs). In 1928, Smith ran for U.S. President from the Democratic Party but was destroyed by Herbert Hoover in the General Election. Al Smith was hoping to run again in 1932, but was worried he’d lose again. And then the Great Depression hit in 1929 and the country needed an “Al Smith.” At the same time, a fellow by the name of Franklin D. Roosevelt was gearing up to run for Presidency as well, and Roosevelt knew that if Al Smith would be influential, Smith would become President. So, Roosevelt made sure to keep Smith out of any and all positions of power. FDR won the nomination in 1932 and Al Smith was forced out, left with nothing. Later, FDR himself said that all the programs he introduced to pull America out of the Depression (including the New Deal) were “stolen” from the brilliant Al Smith. And what became of Smith? He became a right-wing conservative and fought FDR against the very programs he himself invented and believed in.

            When we don’t show honor to people by not giving them opportunities to contribute, we should know we just might be creating  new enemies. How many stories do we hear of stymied partners returning as competition to destroy the company they’ve built? How many times have we seen someone who feels stifled in a community break away and start his own Shul, Minyan, or program? Anan ben David found the Karaite movement. He was in line to become the next leader in the one of the great academies in Babylon, only to be passed over - so he went into business by himself. 

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            “Honoring” can also push average people to greatness, as the following story will attest:    “Mrs. Daugherty was a highly respected sixth-grade teacher. One year she found her class impossible to control and began to worry that many of them had serious learning disabilities. When the principal was away, she did something teachers were not supposed to do: She looked in a special file where students' I.Q.s were recorded. To her amazement, she found that a majority of her students were way above average in intelligence, many with I.Q.s in the 120s and 130s. One of the worst classroom culprits was a genius: He had an I.Q. of 145! Mrs. Daugherty was angry at herself. She had been feeling sorry for the children, giving them remedial work, and expecting little from them. She immediately brought in challenging work and increased homework. Slowly the students' performance improved. By year's end, the class of ne'er-do-wells was one of the best behaved and highest performing in the sixth grade. The principal was delighted by the turnaround. At the end of the year, he asked Mrs. Daugherty what she had done. She told him: "At first, I didn't believe in these kids, but then I did something illegal - I looked at their IQ numbers and I realized that they were actually geniuses. It was me who didn't appreciate their greatness. Once I saw how smart they were, I started treating them as such!" The principal listened, impressed with his teacher's approach, but then added, "I think you should know, Mrs. Daugherty, those numbers next to the children's names- those are not
their I.Q. scores. Those are their locker numbers!"

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            Yes, Korach should have found another way to “shine” without the Kahunah (just as Al Smith should’ve) and is fully responsible for his actions. But when we read these stories, let’s learn to find ways to include all people, talented and average. If these people feel valued and respected, they will help the cause and not work against it. Ultimately, though, our own biggest honor is to help people around us fulfill their potential, as the Mishnah (Avos 4:1) says, “Who is honored? He who honors others.” How much more successful would our employees, students, children, and spouses be if we shined the “spotlight” on them and stressed their strengths? Let’s open up our “Honor Roll” and start taking names!


TORAH QUESTION OF THE WEEK by Rabbi M.D.Weiss


            In the Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 90:19) it states that one should have a set place for prayers, which doesn’t change unless the need arises. More specifically, it isn’t sufficient to have a set Shul (synagogue); rather, even within the Shul, one should have a set spot. If one’s father asks him to pray out of his set place, does the child have to listen? Do we say that since a child doesn’t have to listen to a parent if the parent asks him to disobey Torah law (see Talmud, Yevamos 5b, Y.D. 240:15) that here, too, he doesn’t have to listen? Or, is there a reason that this particular case is different?

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            Last week, we asked if there is a reason not to name a child after someone who died young.

            The Yam Shel Shlomo (Gittin 4:31) writes that it isn’t common for people to name their children after the Prophet Yeshayahu because of his bad fortune, as he was murdered. Therefore, people name a child Yeshaya (as opposed to Yeshayahu). Writes Rav Moshe Feinstein OB”M (Igros Moshe Y.D. 2:122) that based on this, in the opinion of the Yam Shel Shlomo, there is concern not to name a child after someone who had bad fortune.                                                                                                 

         On the other hand, we find that the opinion of the Rema is that there is no concern. However, when it comes to naming after someone who died young on his bed (as opposed to having been murdered), we may say that there’s possibly no concern. This is because we know that the prophet Shmuel passed away at the age of 52 and so did King Shlomo and no one refrains from calling their children Shmuel or Shlomo. Also, King Chizkiyahu passed away at 54 years old and many name their children after him.                                                                                                               

           Therefore, we may say that one’s passing at a young age isn’t considered bad fortune because we may assume that Hashem saw no more purpose for him to remain in this world and therefore took him away after he fulfilled his mission. But if someone died young as a punishment that is considered bad fortune and one should refrain from naming after them. If the person passed on young - without leaving children behind - we may assume that it is considered bad fortune and due to some punishment and one should be concerned not to name his child after the one who died. When the prematurely deceased did leave children behind, one cannot know if his passing was due to the fact that they fulfilled their life’s purpose or punishment.                                                                               

           Therefore, concludes Rav Moshe OB”M, there is a “double doubt.”  One, it’s doubtful whether the death is due to bad fortune, and two,  there is disagreement between the Rema and Yam Shel Shlomo whether one has to concern himself altogether over “naming” a child after someone with bad fortune. Therefore, in a case where the person who died young had children, one may name his children after them. Rav Moshe adds in a case where there is concern to name after someone with bad fortune, one can make a small change to the name so it won’t be exactly as the original name (as in the case of Yeshaya mentioned above).     Additionally, one may add a second name, which would also remove all issues. For final rulings, please consult a Rav.


SHORT AND SWEET STORY OF THE WEEK

           The parents of a mentally-challenged child came to Reb Shlomo Zalman Auerbach O"BM to discuss institutionalizing him. When the Rav asked what the boy said about the proposal, they replied that it had not occurred to them to ask him. Reb Shlomo Zalman was irate. “You intend to evict him from his home and consign him to a strange place with a regimented atmosphere,” he sternly told them. “He must be encouraged and not allowed to feel that he is being betrayed.” Reb Shlomo Zalman then asked to see the youngster and the parents fetched him. “What is your name, my boy?” Rav Shlomo Zalman asked.                                                                “Akiva,” came the meek reply.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      “Akiva, my name is Shlomo Zalman. I am the Gadol Hador - the greatest Torah authority of this generation - and everyone listens to me. You will be entering a special school now; I would like you to ask you for a big favor. Please represent me by taking the job of Mashgiach (spiritual leader) in the school and look after all of the religious matters in your new home.”  The boy’s eyes were riveted to Reb Shlomo Zalman’s face and the awestruck parents sat with their mouths agape as the Rav continued. “I shall now give you Semichah (Rabbinical Ordination) which makes you a Rabbi. I want you to use this honor wisely.” From that point on, the boy walked around with a spring in his step due to the acknowledgement and honor shown to him by a great Rabbi like Rav Shlomo Zalman.                                                                                                                                                          Comment: One of the reasons we are placed in positions of stature or are given certain rights and privileges is for the benefit of others. One’s societal standing is valuable, as the Talmud (Kiddushin 7a) teaches that a woman can give an important man a gift and the pleasure she receives from the acceptance of the gift is worth a Shevah Perutah, the minimum amount needed for the marriage to take effect. We have many opportunities on a daily basis to build others by associating with them (such as inquiring of their well-being and actually sticking around to hear their reply). There are numerous people in the world who feel abandoned and useless. We will be surprised to know that spending even five minutes talking with them can not only boost their day, it can spark a change in them that lasts a lifetime. So, let’s open our eyes, find someone down on themselves and try to take interest! 

SUGARY SAYING OF THE WEEK

“A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her hands.”         

  - King Shlomo (Mishlei 14:1). Every event in the Torah is multifaceted. The backstory of Korach's rebellion features two women, “Mrs. On Ben Peles” and “Mrs. Korach.” The Talmud (Sanhedrin 109b) relates that On's wife told her husband that Machlokes (disputes) never have winners and shielded him from being collected for the actual rebellion against Moshe. Korach's wife, on the other hand, egged on Korach and teased him into a rebellion against the Jewish leader. Women, and wives in particular, possess a tremendous strength, in the form of Bina Yeseirah, an added sense of “reading” situations and people.