Comments That Leave Me Speechless...

[S209]

No offense

“Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often”.

ETA: After a quick search, it appears I am the only one to ever reference this line (one of my favorite ever) on DDF.

The Half Blood Prince, chapter 3:

[Dan]

No offense

Don't take this personally, but...

[yawn]

Don't take this personally, but...

With all due respect.

[YitzyS]

Reminds me of a famous quip: In Hebrew, the word "Selicha" is what you say to someone before you push them.

[sguitarist18]

(When explaining to a patient's family that they need to pay their medical bill)

Please don't be offended, but this is why some people call Jews "shysters."

[Dan]

With all due respect.

I don't mean to insult you, but...

[YitzyS]

I don't mean to insult you, but...

Listen, it's nothing personal. All Clevelanders are like that, not just you.

[Dan]

Listen, it's nothing personal. All Clevelanders are like that, not just you.

Repost.

Don't take this personally, but...

[YitzyS]

Repost.

And that your honor, is Exhibit A

[EliJelly]

Maybe it's just me, but..

[yuneeq]

Can we ban, "I'm not trying to (blank), but" from the English language?
Just be honest and say you are trying to do exactly that

Don't take this personally, but...

Don't take this personally, but that's a bad take.

Unfortunately, these disclaimers are often necessary, especially online where tone can be hard to detect. Yes, it will be followed up with some non-positive feedback, but it also shows the willingness of the person to remain objective and unemotional in the follow up conversation. But they actually have to follow through with that.

Personally, I often find myself avoiding giving constructive feedback because it's tricky to do it respectfully, especially in writing.

[Yehuda57]

Don't take this personally, but that's a bad take.

Unfortunately, these disclaimers are often necessary, especially online where tone can be hard to detect. Yes, it will be followed up with some non-positive feedback, but it also shows the willingness of the person to remain objective and unemotional in the follow up conversation. But they actually have to follow through with that.

Personally, I often find myself avoiding giving constructive feedback because it's tricky to do it respectfully, especially in writing.

If the idea is *constructive* feedback, it can't be done in an offensive way. If you need to open with "I don't mean to be x, but..." then it will be x. Either figure out how to say it in a way that isn't going to come off as x, or don't say it at all, which is the path you seem to have chosen.

[Dan]

If the idea is *constructive* feedback, it can't be done in an offensive way. If you need to open with "I don't mean to be x, but..." then it will be x. Either figure out how to say it in a way that isn't going to come off as x, or don't say it at all, which is the path you seem to have chosen.

I actually likes how zschrieber ended our Twitter debate. Pretty classy way of doing so.

https://twitter.com/DansDeals/status/1671671979999481858

https://twitter.com/DansDeals/status/1671673559310118912

[yuneeq]

If the idea is *constructive* feedback, it can't be done in an offensive way. If you need to open with "I don't mean to be x, but..." then it will be x. Either figure out how to say it in a way that isn't going to come off as x, or don't say it at all, which is the path you seem to have chosen.

There are times (like the example Dan linked to) where stating things like "I’m not trying to play gotcha" really doesn't seem offensive at all. Some others like "I'm not trying to be disrespectful" usually are disrespectful, though I wouldn't make a blanket statement that "I'm not trying" disclaimers are always offensive.

Additionally, if you care about someone and truly want to help, is it better to stay quiet or to be honest and possibly offend them? Personally, I'd rather hear the feedback with the canned disclaimer. But it's hard to judge how someone else will respond.

[yuneeq]

I actually likes how zschrieber ended our Twitter debate. Pretty classy way of doing so.

It is very nice. However, the tone in his messages beforehand is no less offensive than if he wrote "with all due respect". But as I said earlier, the disclaimer is not offensive, what matters is how the conversation actually is carried out.

[Dan]

Vile, but doesn't really leave me speechless. For all the claims that this doesn't exist anymore, there's a song now going around among kids here about the Rebbe and being 6 feet under.

These attitudes don't originate from the kids either, hate begets hate.

[YitzyS]

there's a song now going around among kids here about the Rebbe and being 6 feet under.

Not new at all. It's been going around when I was a kid.

[Dan]

Not new at all. It's been going around when I was a kid.

Didn't say new. Just going around now, again.
A Shliach walks 3 miles every Shabbos mincha to my shul and a group of kids passing by decided to sing it as they encountered him walking yesterday. His son walking with him said the kids harass him all the time with it.

[dasmo801]

Not new at all. It's been going around when I was a kid.

Like most things, takes awhile to reach OOT.
But seriously, I'm pretty in tune to what's going on here in Lakewood with multiple kids in various age groups. This is so not a thing.

[Essen est zich]

https://www.dansdeals.com/points-travel/car-rentalsride-share/uber/dansdeals-tweet-anti-semitic-driver-uber-takes-quick-action/#com


Is the 1st comment left up on purpose?