Author Topic: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...  (Read 712521 times)

Offline S209

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3600 on: June 21, 2023, 02:10:54 PM »
No offense
“Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often”.

ETA: After a quick search, it appears I am the only one to ever reference this line (one of my favorite ever) on DDF.

The Half Blood Prince, chapter 3:
« Last Edit: June 21, 2023, 02:17:02 PM by S209 »
Quote from: YitzyS
Quotes in a signature is annoying, as it comes across as an independent post.

Offline Dan

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3601 on: June 21, 2023, 02:13:09 PM »
No offense
Don't take this personally, but...
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline yawn

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3602 on: June 21, 2023, 03:13:00 PM »
Don't take this personally, but...
With all due respect.

Offline YitzyS

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3603 on: June 21, 2023, 03:21:27 PM »
Reminds me of a famous quip: In Hebrew, the word "Selicha" is what you say to someone before you push them.

Offline sguitarist18

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3604 on: June 21, 2023, 03:34:51 PM »
(When explaining to a patient's family that they need to pay their medical bill)

Please don't be offended, but this is why some people call Jews "shysters."


Offline Dan

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3605 on: June 21, 2023, 03:39:14 PM »
With all due respect.
I don't mean to insult you, but...
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline YitzyS

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3606 on: June 21, 2023, 03:40:19 PM »
I don't mean to insult you, but...
Listen, it's nothing personal. All Clevelanders are like that, not just you.

Offline Dan

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3607 on: June 21, 2023, 03:42:44 PM »
Listen, it's nothing personal. All Clevelanders are like that, not just you.
Repost.
Don't take this personally, but...
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline YitzyS

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3608 on: June 21, 2023, 03:43:36 PM »
Repost.
And that your honor, is Exhibit A

Offline EliJelly

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3609 on: June 21, 2023, 06:49:22 PM »
Maybe it's just me, but..

Offline yuneeq

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3610 on: June 22, 2023, 11:07:50 AM »
Can we ban, "I'm not trying to (blank), but" from the English language?
Just be honest and say you are trying to do exactly that :D

Don't take this personally, but...

Don't take this personally, but that's a bad take. :P

Unfortunately, these disclaimers are often necessary, especially online where tone can be hard to detect. Yes, it will be followed up with some non-positive feedback, but it also shows the willingness of the person to remain objective and unemotional in the follow up conversation. But they actually have to follow through with that.

Personally, I often find myself avoiding giving constructive feedback because it's tricky to do it respectfully, especially in writing.
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Online Yehuda57

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3611 on: June 22, 2023, 11:16:58 AM »
Don't take this personally, but that's a bad take. :P

Unfortunately, these disclaimers are often necessary, especially online where tone can be hard to detect. Yes, it will be followed up with some non-positive feedback, but it also shows the willingness of the person to remain objective and unemotional in the follow up conversation. But they actually have to follow through with that.

Personally, I often find myself avoiding giving constructive feedback because it's tricky to do it respectfully, especially in writing.

If the idea is *constructive* feedback, it can't be done in an offensive way. If you need to open with "I don't mean to be x, but..." then it will be x. Either figure out how to say it in a way that isn't going to come off as x, or don't say it at all, which is the path you seem to have chosen.



Offline Dan

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3612 on: June 22, 2023, 11:20:22 AM »
If the idea is *constructive* feedback, it can't be done in an offensive way. If you need to open with "I don't mean to be x, but..." then it will be x. Either figure out how to say it in a way that isn't going to come off as x, or don't say it at all, which is the path you seem to have chosen.
I actually likes how zschrieber ended our Twitter debate. Pretty classy way of doing so.

https://twitter.com/DansDeals/status/1671671979999481858

https://twitter.com/DansDeals/status/1671673559310118912
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline yuneeq

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3613 on: June 22, 2023, 02:09:57 PM »
If the idea is *constructive* feedback, it can't be done in an offensive way. If you need to open with "I don't mean to be x, but..." then it will be x. Either figure out how to say it in a way that isn't going to come off as x, or don't say it at all, which is the path you seem to have chosen.

There are times (like the example Dan linked to) where stating things like "I’m not trying to play gotcha" really doesn't seem offensive at all. Some others like "I'm not trying to be disrespectful" usually are disrespectful, though I wouldn't make a blanket statement that "I'm not trying" disclaimers are always offensive.

Additionally, if you care about someone and truly want to help, is it better to stay quiet or to be honest and possibly offend them? Personally, I'd rather hear the feedback with the canned disclaimer. But it's hard to judge how someone else will respond.
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Offline yuneeq

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3614 on: June 22, 2023, 02:16:13 PM »
I actually likes how zschrieber ended our Twitter debate. Pretty classy way of doing so.

It is very nice. However, the tone in his messages beforehand is no less offensive than if he wrote "with all due respect". But as I said earlier, the disclaimer is not offensive, what matters is how the conversation actually is carried out.
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Offline Dan

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3615 on: August 06, 2023, 05:25:32 PM »



Vile, but doesn't really leave me speechless. For all the claims that this doesn't exist anymore, there's a song now going around among kids here about the Rebbe and being 6 feet under.

These attitudes don't originate from the kids either, hate begets hate.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline YitzyS

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3616 on: August 06, 2023, 07:12:37 PM »
there's a song now going around among kids here about the Rebbe and being 6 feet under.
Not new at all. It's been going around when I was a kid.

Offline Dan

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3617 on: August 06, 2023, 07:33:44 PM »
Not new at all. It's been going around when I was a kid.
Didn't say new. Just going around now, again.
A Shliach walks 3 miles every Shabbos mincha to my shul and a group of kids passing by decided to sing it as they encountered him walking yesterday. His son walking with him said the kids harass him all the time with it.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Online dasmo801

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Re: Comments That Leave Me Speechless...
« Reply #3618 on: August 06, 2023, 08:19:56 PM »
Not new at all. It's been going around when I was a kid.
Like most things, takes awhile to reach OOT.
But seriously, I'm pretty in tune to what's going on here in Lakewood with multiple kids in various age groups. This is so not a thing.

Offline Essen est zich

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