Author Topic: Great DDF One-Liners (Read 197616 times)

Work-for-ur-muny · « **Reply #60 on:** April 06, 2016, 02:30:41 PM »

Quote from: TimT on February 04, 2015, 03:39:17 PM

It's been tried before & the threads ended up in area 51.

Freddie · « **Reply #61 on:** April 06, 2016, 02:35:56 PM »

Thanks for the tribute, @Work-for-ur-muny. Personally, my favorite one-liner (although it may have been a couple sentences) that I wrote on this forum was the free Starbucks coffee method. I know it's poor form for a comedian to laugh at his own jokes but that one had me LOL'ing when I wrote it.

Work-for-ur-muny · « **Reply #62 on:** April 06, 2016, 02:37:30 PM »

Quote from: Emkay on February 04, 2015, 04:45:12 PM

I welcome any scammers

Work-for-ur-muny · « **Reply #63 on:** April 06, 2016, 02:38:30 PM »

Quote from: Freddie on April 06, 2016, 02:35:56 PM

Thanks for the tribute, @Work-for-ur-muny. Personally, my favorite one-liner (although it may have been a couple sentences) that I wrote on this forum was the free Starbucks coffee method. I know it's poor form for a comedian to laugh at his own jokes but that one had me LOL'ing when I wrote it.

link?

benjie1305 · « **Reply #64 on:** April 06, 2016, 02:40:43 PM »

Quote from: Freddie on August 21, 2015, 02:35:11 PM

What you do is order two vente Americanos. One, you throw in the barrista's face while it is scalding, and the other you grab and run out the door with.

Quote from: Freddie on August 21, 2015, 02:54:21 PM

You mean the "throw the hot drink in the face" trick? Ein hochi nami. It's just gotta be a hot drink. Ice coffee = fail.

Quote from: Freddie on August 21, 2015, 03:16:50 PM

The truth is you can order an ice coffee... just make sure to also order the hot coffee. And make sure that the one you toss in the barrista's face is the hot one.

Quote from: Freddie on August 21, 2015, 03:22:24 PM

Obviously I do not eat at McDonald's and it would be maris ayin for a religious Jew to step inside.... but here is how I would do it if I had to do it (a la OJ's book title.)

You go in, you order meal. Get whatever you want that you can fit in one bag (this will be important for when you grab the bag and run.) At some point in your order, you have to ask for a coffee. Preferably a large coffee. Loosen the top of the coffee nonchalantly while he is ringing you up. Then, when the cashier is done ringing you up... THROW THE COFFEE IN HIS FACE... then grab your bag of food and RUN!

That's how it would be done.

Freddie · « **Reply #65 on:** April 06, 2016, 02:47:07 PM »

Nice. It still made me giggle after all this time.

As long as I am admiring my own posts, I also liked the "do-it-yourself-bump" method of getting a standby ticket when you're second on the list.

David Smith · « **Reply #66 on:** April 06, 2016, 02:47:37 PM »

Quote from: benjie1305 on April 06, 2016, 02:40:43 PM

Beat me to it, after I searched the thread!

Reminds me of a trick a veteran on the FT Trick-It thread once gave a noob how to find an effective 3x:

First you use your credit card to book the most expensive and luxurious first-class ticket out there. Then for the 3x, you book a one way ticket to some third world jungle. You take the first class journey, which will be the dream trip of a lifetime. Then you don't pay the credit card bill. This only works because of your 3x: you take the flight to the third world country and never come back. 100% success rate.

yitrap · « **Reply #67 on:** April 06, 2016, 03:27:37 PM »

Quote from: David Smith on April 06, 2016, 02:47:37 PM

Beat me to it, after I searched the thread!

Reminds me of a trick a veteran on the FT Trick-It thread once gave a noob how to find an effective 3x:

First you use your credit card to book the most expensive and luxurious first-class ticket out there. Then for the 3x, you book a one way ticket to some third world jungle. You take the first class journey, which will be the dream trip of a lifetime. Then you don't pay the credit card bill. This only works because of your 3x: you take the flight to the third world country and never come back. 100% success rate.

Lol reminds me of this

Quote from: rots5 on March 09, 2015, 01:21:23 PM

If im not mistaken its when Batchy fills his tus tus up with diesel and then has to flip it upside down to dump the fuel.... bec his tus tus only takes 89 unleaded