Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...

[Dan]

https://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=128984.msg2585242#msg2585242

[Joel]

What happened tho this deal? Amazon sent cease and desist?

[jj1000]

What happened tho this deal? Amazon sent cease and desist?

It died and better odds of being honored if deleted.

[jj1000]

That's what I thought, so how does taking it down after it's dead help for..

Going to delete all this and you can PM....

[YitzyS]

Dan is FUNNY!

[Dan]

It's pretty dense...
https://www.dansdeals.com/more/dans-commentary/dots-proposed-refund-changes-decent-start-many-loopholes-misses-bigger-picture/

[lcm]

It's pretty dense...
https://www.dansdeals.com/more/dans-commentary/dots-proposed-refund-changes-decent-start-many-loopholes-misses-bigger-picture/

The title is a bit hard to read to start, maybe something along the lines of "The DOT's Proposed Refund Policy is a Good Start, But Misses the Bigger Picture"
And leave the loopholes part for the article?

[lcm]

United had done as that is an unfair and deceptive practice

Change "as" to "since"

[lcm]

I think it will help to split it up with headers, like "Background" after the first paragraph.
Then "proposed policy before the paragraph"after all that"

[lcm]

international flights should the consumer not accept
I think using the words "if the consumer does not" instead of "should" would be easier to read

[lcm]

cancelled flights be defined
Maybe "should be"?

[lcm]

that significant changes eligible
"changes that are eligible"?

[Yehuda57]

Is there a difference between schedule changes in advance, and delays on the day of travel?

[lcm]

The DOT is proposing that airlines and travel agents that received significant government financial assistance after this rule goes into effect (pity this wasn’t done before the COVID bailouts!) to issue cash refunds to:

"that receive"
"must issue"

[lcm]

Requiring airlines to offer a non-expiring voucher when someone has a serious communicable disease is a good thing, but then giving the airlines an out by allowing to charge whatever they want to process that voucher may defeat the purpose of the regulation, which is to stop people from flying when they are ill by offering them the ability to not incur a financial loss.

I think this sentence is a bit long .
Want suggestions?

[yakov116]

Can't point out exactly whats wrong here (many good suggestions above). However I felt that this it too much information in one.
In other words the way the evaluation of the DOT rule is I got confused.

[biobook]

It's pretty dense...
https://www.dansdeals.com/more/dans-commentary/dots-proposed-refund-changes-decent-start-many-loopholes-misses-bigger-picture/

Not dense, but confusing.

For starters, the start is unclear.  You're commenting on something the DOT has done, but instead of telling us just what that is, you link to a 115 page document. 

Then comes the background, but it's hard to hold the reader's interest in this when they still don't know what it's the background for.

"...if they changed your flight more than 2 hours"  Does this mean:

a. if your flight time was 2 hours longer than scheduled
b. if they changed your scheduled flight more than 2 hours before departure
c. if your departure time was more than 2 hours later than originally scheduled

I think it's c, but not really sure.

[Dan]

Not dense, but confusing.

For starters, the start is unclear.  You're commenting on something the DOT has done, but instead of telling us just what that is, you link to a 115 page document. 

Then comes the background, but it's hard to hold the reader's interest in this when they still don't know what it's the background for.

"...if they changed your flight more than 2 hours"  Does this mean:

a. if your flight time was 2 hours longer than scheduled
b. if they changed your scheduled flight more than 2 hours before departure
c. if your departure time was more than 2 hours later than originally scheduled

I think it's c, but not really sure.

Updated

[Dan]

Thanks @lcm, adopted those!

[Dan]

Anything else?