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« Last edited by myi on November 23, 2017, 05:51:17 PM »

Author Topic: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...  (Read 173007 times)

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #640 on: June 02, 2020, 07:26:49 PM »
Quote
including an deep dive in this March 2017 post
should be "a" not "an"
you did ask for proofreaders :)
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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #641 on: June 02, 2020, 07:27:20 PM »
should be "a" not "an"
you did ask for proofreaders :)
Keep em coming.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #642 on: June 02, 2020, 07:29:08 PM »
Quote
One DDF member sent me information about farms using even more nefarious methods to multiply the points balances of their victims before cashing out
I'd put a comma before "before cashing out". Just to make the long sentence easier to read

Quote
how much he abuses his victims accounts as if it’s all just one big game
And a comma before "as if it's all just..."
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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #643 on: June 02, 2020, 07:30:18 PM »
And sure enough, the chickens are coming home to roost for the farmers. A grand jury has indicted 2 men that operated one of these credit card farms for conspiracy to commit wire fraud, wire fraud, and aggravated identity theft.

It says wire fraud twice at the end of this paragraph.
120 characters? Hmm, I wonder what I could write with 64 characters. Boy, it's gonna be hard to use up 15 characters. W-

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #644 on: June 02, 2020, 07:30:36 PM »
Quote
and cancel the card before the annual fee was due.
Can add "then" before "cancel"
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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #645 on: June 02, 2020, 07:30:57 PM »
It says wire fraud twice at the end of this paragraph.
You can say that again :)
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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #646 on: June 02, 2020, 07:32:36 PM »
Quote
they weren’t told that there would be fraud involved, so it seems that AMEX won’t be going after individual cardholders in court.
change to:
fraud involved. This is good news as it seems that AMEX won’t be going after individual cardholders in court.
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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #647 on: June 02, 2020, 07:32:57 PM »
The farmers would also make up excuses in the cardholder names

Cardholder should be plural
120 characters? Hmm, I wonder what I could write with 64 characters. Boy, it's gonna be hard to use up 15 characters. W-

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #648 on: June 02, 2020, 07:33:39 PM »
The farmers would also make up excuses in the cardholder names

Cardholder should be plural
cardholders'
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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #649 on: June 02, 2020, 07:34:01 PM »
In the end, these particular farmers opened over 7,000 for more than 1,500 straw cardholders

7,000 cards or accounts
120 characters? Hmm, I wonder what I could write with 64 characters. Boy, it's gonna be hard to use up 15 characters. W-

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #650 on: June 02, 2020, 07:35:39 PM »
Quote
Is this case just the tip of the iceberg? Would the case have gone forward if they had real spending?
"if all the spending was legitimate?"
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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #651 on: June 02, 2020, 07:35:42 PM »
It’s certainly no wonder why banks have gotten much more strict about opening credit cards over the past few years!

Should it be stricter?
120 characters? Hmm, I wonder what I could write with 64 characters. Boy, it's gonna be hard to use up 15 characters. W-

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #652 on: June 02, 2020, 07:36:16 PM »
It’s certainly no wonder why banks have gotten much more strict about opening credit cards over the past few years!

Should it be stricter?
Yes and I'd say "that" instead of "why"
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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #653 on: June 02, 2020, 07:36:56 PM »
Quote
But the painful lessons here are obvious. Don’t try to scam the system or you’ll face jail time. And don’t hand over your credit information or credit cards to anyone else for any price.
Should probably bold part of this last paragraph for emphasis. Maybe the whole 2nd and 3rd sentence, or maybe just part.
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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #654 on: June 02, 2020, 07:37:30 PM »
It’s rare to see what airline miles cost the credit card company, and each airline likely has their own rates.

Should the last word be rate?
120 characters? Hmm, I wonder what I could write with 64 characters. Boy, it's gonna be hard to use up 15 characters. W-

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #655 on: June 02, 2020, 07:37:50 PM »
Great job btw @Dan ! I wouldn't nitpick on the grammar but you asked :)
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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #656 on: June 02, 2020, 07:38:21 PM »
It’s rare to see what airline miles cost the credit card company, and each airline likely has their own rates.

Should the last word be rate?
If so it should be "its own rate"
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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #657 on: June 02, 2020, 07:42:28 PM »
Great job btw @Dan ! I wouldn't nitpick on the grammar but you asked :)
+1

Well written article!
120 characters? Hmm, I wonder what I could write with 64 characters. Boy, it's gonna be hard to use up 15 characters. W-

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #658 on: June 02, 2020, 07:50:57 PM »
+1

Well written article!
Although I guess the +1 can't go on the not nitpicking part as I have done that in the past

Now that I found this thread I don't have to leave it in the comments anymore
120 characters? Hmm, I wonder what I could write with 64 characters. Boy, it's gonna be hard to use up 15 characters. W-

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #659 on: June 02, 2020, 07:53:43 PM »
Although I guess the +1 can't go on the not nitpicking part as I have done that in the past

Now that I found this thread I don't have to leave it in the comments anymore
So have I but only because I know Dan appreciates it. That's not so common.
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