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« Last edited by myi on November 23, 2017, 05:51:17 PM »

Author Topic: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...  (Read 173038 times)

Offline biobook

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #740 on: July 21, 2020, 10:46:22 PM »
Thanks, incorporated some of this, but no patience for a 3rd rewrite on a post that's going to be out in the weeds anyway :)
Yeah, that's all I meant, not a complete rewrite, just a sentence or three to summarize the data.

Offline lakewood34

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #741 on: July 22, 2020, 09:08:09 PM »
much more reader friendly the second time around great job!

Offline sholoma

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #742 on: August 05, 2020, 02:40:07 PM »
Typo in latest roundup.
First item: "With the value of the mils earned, he actually made money on the flights!"
miles*

Offline Dan

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #743 on: August 05, 2020, 02:55:23 PM »
Typo in latest roundup.
First item: "With the value of the mils earned, he actually made money on the flights!"
miles*
Bah, I published the version before the proofing.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline eliteflyer

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #744 on: August 06, 2020, 02:40:48 PM »
Bah, I published the version before the proofing.
My efforts were for naught!

Offline Dan

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Offline lcm

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #746 on: August 31, 2020, 07:07:59 PM »
https://www.dansdeals.com/points-travel/milespoints/thanks-elimination-change-fees-can-rewind-clock-mileage-program-devaluations/
"That smartly did it on a Sunday"

I assume that is supposed to be they


"buy up from Basic Economy tickets,"

Sounds like buying up stock, although I can't think of a better way to word it.

"it helps them better compete"

The sentence feels redundant with "it helps them" 3 times.
How about "as well as better compete"


"Delta matched some of United’s policies, but were vague on the details."

"They were" or  replace were with was

"I just spoke with their media relations department and they say"

They said?

"Airlines need to restore the value proposition that existed to earn back lost business."

In order to earn back...
« Last Edit: August 31, 2020, 07:17:33 PM by lcm »

Offline YitzyS

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #747 on: August 31, 2020, 07:15:44 PM »
https://www.dansdeals.com/points-travel/milespoints/thanks-elimination-change-fees-can-rewind-clock-mileage-program-devaluations/
"get more people to buy up from Basic Economy tickets"
Is that "upgrade", or is there another meaning to it.

Also, the title is a little intricate. If you make it simpler, you might have an easier time getting the attention of non-DDFers.
(Words like "elimination" and "devaluations", in my opinion, are too long and specific for a title meant to attract attention from the masses. But that's just my opinion.)

Offline sholoma

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #748 on: August 31, 2020, 07:23:34 PM »

Offline Dan

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Offline Lurker

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #750 on: August 31, 2020, 08:00:27 PM »
OK, take 2.
Thanks guys!

This is probably geared towards people who know what you're talking about already, but the post starts off without saying what being devalued.

"When times are good, the airlines hit their customers with repeated devaluations of their mileage programs."

Or something like that.

ETA; I see you're talking about their products in general, and not just miles. I'd still try to find a way to communicate that in the opening paragraph.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2020, 08:03:29 PM by Lurker »
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Offline lcm

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #751 on: August 31, 2020, 08:06:13 PM »
OK, take 2.
Thanks guys!
"not resetting them, so that you can earn status through 1/31/23."

Quite a run on sentence.
How about: "them. So, you can...."

"with that, with just the ability"

With that. They only offer

"Award miles based on flight distance once again."

The paragraph under this header doesn't really explain its header to the uninitiated

"collecting miles a thing of the past?"

Collecting airline miles

I feel like Ma Lo Tov with these edits ;)
« Last Edit: August 31, 2020, 08:11:52 PM by lcm »

Offline ExGingi

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #752 on: August 31, 2020, 08:20:21 PM »
OK, take 2.
Thanks guys!

"In lean times, they should reserve this,"

Reverse
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline Dan

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Offline Yo ssi

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« Last Edit: September 02, 2020, 07:26:14 PM by Yo ssi »
_    ,
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 //
(/

Offline yungermanchik

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #755 on: September 02, 2020, 07:17:35 PM »
Tesla And The FBI Stop A Ransomware Attack

eElectrik

eElectrik
Small people talk about other people.
Average people talk about things
BIG PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IDEAS.

Offline Yo ssi

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #756 on: September 02, 2020, 07:20:06 PM »
An Airbus pilot gives him impressions here
His*
_    ,
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Offline lcm

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #757 on: September 02, 2020, 07:43:06 PM »
"One case tracked by the University of Hong Kong is of a 33 tear old man"
Year old

"The State Of Alaska Wants Foreign Carriers To Be Able To Sell Stopovers In Anchorage"
Is there a way to reword this? It sounds very wordy

"The main benefit is having a single point of contact ambassador, something that Hyatt provides for hitting Globalist status with no minimum spend requirement."
Sounds a bit fragmented

"Ambassador status I’d be livid."
Ambassador status, I’d be livid.

"Citi: Oops, Can You Give Us Out $900"
Give us our

"Mr. Ghosn is safe as Lebanon"
Mr. Ghosn is safe since Lebanon

"in the bubble as he says"
in the bubble, as he says
« Last Edit: September 02, 2020, 08:10:42 PM by lcm »

Offline Dan

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Offline Lurker

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Re: Proofread DDMS Posts In Advance...
« Reply #759 on: September 25, 2020, 01:00:17 AM »
OK DDF, how would you improve this chart?

https://www.dansdeals.com/points-travel/airlines/airline-news/master-chart-comparing-new-airline-change-fee-waivers/

United, Awards worldwide, 2020: should be 30+ days, IINM (just missing "+" ).
Failing at maintaining Lurker status.