The School Crisis

[ShlockDoc]

Unfortunately it's very real

Dare I ask about geirim?  Is that a factor against your kids getting in to school?

[ShlockDoc]

Unfortunately it's very real

My goodness.  If I lived there I would either:

http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=37134.765

or

http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=30324.0

[WhatNot]

Dare I ask about geirim?  Is that a factor against your kids getting in to school?

Anyone that is not ffb will have avery hard time. Nearly impossible.

[Emkay]

Dare I ask about geirim?  Is that a factor against your kids getting in to school?

Please don't get your info or judge based on comments from random anonymous people online who likely (usually) have no idea about what really goes on or happens.

[Emkay]

This is one thing i do not understand. Because my family has an average middle class income, no pull in any school and neutral. Does that seriously mean that they have no place in a regular normal school?

No. Don't make things worse then they are.

[ShlockDoc]

Please don't get your info or judge based on comments from random anonymous people online who likely (usually) have no idea about what really goes on or happens.

Fair enough. 

[yesitsme]

Why new thread? should be  merged with http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=21675.0

[David Smith]

My goodness.  If I lived there I would either:

http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=37134.765

or

http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=30324.0

BTDT?

[ShlockDoc]

BTDT?

I actually came across a Facebook group the other day for BTs who have gone OTD.  Talk about hyperspecificity...

[sky121]

At the end of the day these stories do happen.  The biggest problem in my opinion is schools that were started out as being "community" schools such as Bais Yaakov or in smaller cities the local main Yeshivas that start rejecting kids who many times end up in public school or places that are just not for them.

Again, in my own community I know of just a handful of kids who didn't get accepted in the last few years to the local schools.  And it wasn't always done in the nicest of ways.

[David Smith]

There's a famous story about a sephardic boy that wanted to learn in a prominent Ahkenaz yeshiva in Eretz Yisroel many years ago (when there was a much larger cultural and religious divide than there is today). The Rosh Yeshiva asked the boy went he wanted to come to that yeshiva. "I want an Ashkenazic yeshiva" said the boy. "So do I", responded the Rosh Yeshiva; and didn't take him.

[Boruch999]

Unfortunately it's very real

[quote On a personal note, my first child was rejected from the Lakewood elementary school, that we applied to, three weeks before the school year was scheduled to start. For two weeks, I called multiple times to the school begging them to tell me why she was rejected. No one ever picked up the phone but I left messages explaining that I was not trying to get her into the school anymore but we just wanted to know if there was something that we needed to change or if I had insulted someone to whom I needed to apologize. For those two weeks, I felt that the Lakewood community had “spit me out” as Eretz Yisroel does to treif behavior. Since my daughter was six years old, and my wife was from Bais Yaakov of Boro Park, I could only conclude that I must have damaged my child by my being a baal tsheuvah. We would need to move ASAP out of Lakewood so that my daughter could go to school. The pain, the hurt, the aching was indescribably deep and unrelenting. After two weeks of no reply from the school, we were told from friends who knew the administration that we were rejected because we had a video machine (VHS in those days) in our home which we used to play children’s videos (Uncle Moishe, Sesame Street, etc.). That day we gave our video machine to a kiruv organization. Our home became video-free. With one week left to the school year, we were accepted to another “right wing” girl’s school in Lakewood which subsequently educated all of my girls and to which I donated over $1.6MM years later when I had some financial success

http://www.thelakewoodscoop.com/news/2016/01/exclusive-refining-rechnitz-targeting-written-by-richard-h-roberts-m-d-ph-d.html

Unless you know that that school accepted many FFB parented families who had video machines, your assertion would seem unsubstantiated.

[aygart]

My daughter got accepted into a school end of August. Let me tell you I have A LOT to say on the subject. She is a 4 year old kid with nothing missing in her brain, her home, or her life in general Bh. Our problem? We simply don't 'belong' I grew up one way (that I despised and the feeling was mutual), dh went to a certain school, a different yeshiva, and another different mesivta. Therefore we don't belong to one certain type. Everyone only wants to accept their own kind. Unless you have buckets of money or an inside man. The situation is brutal. You try a nuetral school and they feel no responsibility to accept you. Mrs B from BYBP may she rot in hell set the standard for my 4 yr old so high that of course it was impossible. She really did a number on me. Sleepless nights. Gray hair on us (we're both in our 20's)... The schools make you go through hell and jump through their hoops before they say no. One letter in particular said (quote) 'we understand how difficult it must be to place your child. Unfortunately we are unable to assist at this time. We wish you much Hatzlocha.' Not even a meeting. Not an ounce of research on me and my family. No reason whatsoever. And then the so called rabbis cry that kids are going off the derech. Well those same hanhalas will have to answer some very tough questions when their time comes.

Without my knowing you, your family, or BYBP, how would you compare your family to the "typical"family there?

[Abebee]

Is this real? Kids get rejected from schools because their parents are BTs?  Please tell me that's not real.

Not sure how true it is, in a hemish yeshiva in BP growing up I personally had a few BT family in my class and throughout the school. And if I must say so, most if not all of them did well as a matter of fact probably better then me...

[stbaum]

Without my knowing you, your family, or BYBP, how would you compare your family to the "typical"family there?

My husband and I both work. We consider ourselves chassidish but we're not affiliated with any particular sect. We speak English and Yiddish in our home. We don't have movies or a TV, we both have smartphones + wifi. We're pretty middle class.

I'm not sure what typical means nowadays. I don't buy into the whole double life many MANY people have today where they are chassidish on the outside and barely shomer Shabbos on the inside. With my husband and I- what you see is what you get.

BYBP expected my 4 yr old to be able to write her own name, draw shapes, identify all aleph bet and alphabet.
Gan Yisroel said no uncle Moishy/yeshivah boys choir/smartphones w/o filter
Bais Yaakov of B said no chalav stam (not that it matters. They didn't want us anyway. We don't fit their type)
Munkatch had no reason with their rejection
Satmar said no radio (yes. Apparently were in the 50's)
Both bobavs said no space
Sora schner, Bais shufra Miriam, BYA, prospect park, yeshiva of B, yeshiva of FB, and a few others never responded to my application despite many calls
BY d'rav Meir called us for an interview but I heard from a few people that they (like vien) are way too posh and would never take us. So we didn't even bother running after them
BY18 has a 3 year waiting list and only accepts siblings

Need I go on?

[rileywiles23]

My husband and I both work. We consider ourselves chassidish but we're not affiliated with any particular sect. We speak English and Yiddish in our home. We don't have movies or a TV, we both have smartphones + wifi. We're pretty middle class.

I'm not sure what typical means nowadays. I don't buy into the whole double life many MANY people have today where they are chassidish on the outside and barely shomer Shabbos on the inside. With my husband and I- what you see is what you get.

This description is very vague.
We don't have movies or TV - but might watch them
Smartphones and wifi - no mention if there are filters.
What you see is what you get - what exactly do you see ? Etc. Etc. Etc.
Not trying to get personal, and I'm sorry for what you went through, but there is always another side to a story.

[elit]

My husband and I both work. We consider ourselves chassidish but we're not affiliated with any particular sect. We speak English and Yiddish in our home. We don't have movies or a TV, we both have smartphones + wifi. We're pretty middle class.

I'm not sure what typical means nowadays. I don't buy into the whole double life many MANY people have today where they are chassidish on the outside and barely shomer Shabbos on the inside. With my husband and I- what you see is what you get.

BYBP expected my 4 yr old to be able to write her own name, draw shapes, identify all aleph bet and alphabet.
Gan Yisroel said no uncle Moishy/yeshivah boys choir/smartphones w/o filter
Bais Yaakov of B said no chalav stam (not that it matters. They didn't want us anyway. We don't fit their type)
Munkatch had no reason with their rejection
Satmar said no radio (yes. Apparently were in the 50's)
Both bobavs said no space
Sora schner, Bais shufra Miriam, BYA, prospect park, yeshiva of B, yeshiva of FB, and a few others never responded to my application despite many calls
BY d'rav Meir called us for an interview but I heard from a few people that they (like vien) are way too posh and would never take us. So we didn't even bother running after them
BY18 has a 3 year waiting list and only accepts siblings

Need I go on?

Please. ... just kidding.  What happened in the end

[stbaum]

This description is very vague.
We don't have movies or TV - but might watch them (we don't. Only the occasional movie night maybe twice or 3 times a year)
Smartphones and wifi - no mention if there are filters. No filters
What you see is what you get - what exactly do you see ? I don't agree to no smartphones and then go and get a new phone just for the school. That kind of thing.
Not trying to get personal, and I'm sorry for what you went through, but there is always another side to a story.

I'm not saying I'm a model household. I'm saying the schools expect you to be. Today's day and age it's nearly impossible. Who doesn't have whatsapp? Who doesn't shop online? Who doesn't have waze?
I know someone that the kid would repeat movie plots in school (a young boy maybe 10/11). The father never even heard about it because the school depended on his money.
I know a kid that was in first grade and was kicked out of school because a classmates parent decided she's not good enough to be in the same school as her daughter and they threatened the school that either they go or she goes.

Both instances were with close family members that I heard it from the horses mouth

Don't tell me it's about being holy. It's about being holier than thou. Utter nonsense. And I don't appreciate you trying to blame me. Your posts feel like an attack and I'm being defensive.

Someone that's never been in this situation will never understand it.

To us, the phrase 'let them eat cake' seems nuts. But in her time, the queen was really clueless to the Parisians suffering because she wasn't in that situation. Walk a mile...

[rileywiles23]

I'm not saying I'm a model household. I'm saying the schools expect you to be. Today's day and age it's nearly impossible. Who doesn't have whatsapp? Who doesn't shop online? Who doesn't have waze?
I know someone that the kid would repeat movie plots in school (a young boy maybe 10/11). The father never even heard about it because the school depended on his money.
I know a kid that was in first grade and was kicked out of school because a classmates parent decided she's not good enough to be in the same school as her daughter and they threatened the school that either they go or she goes.

Both instances were with close family members that I heard it from the horses mouth

Don't tell me it's about being holy. It's about being holier than thou. Utter nonsense. And I don't appreciate you trying to blame me. Your posts feel like an attack and I'm being defensive.

Someone that's never been in this situation will never understand it.

To us, the phrase 'let them eat cake' seems nuts. But in her time, the queen was really clueless to the Parisians suffering because she wasn't in that situation. Walk a mile...

I know lots of people who don't have whats app, and don't have Waze. And having them isn't contradictory to having a filter.

Yes, there are many stories about school showing nepotism, and I have heard them as well. And if they are true it's totally wrong. Nobody is denying that such policies are just plain wrong. 

I'm not trying to blame you. I don't know you and I'm sure most here don't either. Therefore whatever info we are getting is solely from your posts without hearing another side to the story, hence me saying that all the info. is vague bec. It's one sided.
 You might be 100% right but one can't base opinions about all the schools you mentioned just from what they see from an anonymous person on the internet.

[Sport]

This description is very vague.
We don't have movies or TV - but might watch them
Smartphones and wifi - no mention if there are filters.
What you see is what you get - what exactly do you see ? Etc. Etc. Etc.
Not trying to get personal, and I'm sorry for what you went through, but there is always another side to a story.

Please!! theres way too much emphasis on attempting to shelter their kids. Of course parents have the right to want their kids in a school where the parent body shares their values but theres a point where it becomes ridicules.