Just got this email from myzmanim. Posting it here because it's a funny email and also because I use their site all the time and I assume others here do too, so I feel like I should give a little and also spread their request for donations here. Donate
here. Here's the email:
Hey Yehudaa,
It’s me, Shekiah.
Y’know, your pal who’s been around since the 6 days of creation. (Day #4, if you must know.)
And I want to set the record straight: I. AM. NOT. THE. BAD. GUY.
Cause no matter what I do, you people PANIC when I come:
The birds are chirping.The sun is shining through the trees.The Jews are scrambling around like Wall Street floor brokers, jumping in and out of showers and stuffing hair irons into drawers and setting the Shabbos clock that you-should-have-set-Thursday-night.
Do you have something against me?
See, in Jewish novels, no one ever rides off into the sunset. Instead, Husband sees me coming and says “Honey, I gotta go to Mincha.”
It’s like I’m some kind of villain in your books.
The only thing that keeps me going (despite millennia of abuse) are my loyal fans — the folks at MyZmanim.
These guys like me so much they…
·Insist on knowing exactly when I’m sneakin’ around the bend.
·Follow me wherever I am, anywhere the world.
That makes me feel all fuzzy and warm inside (approximately 15,000,000 °C, if you must know).
And that’s even gooder news for you!
Cuz when they keep tabs on me (and dozens of my timely colleagues like Nightfall and Mi’sheyakir) YOU can observe mitzvos in their proper time.
See, MyZmanim exists for only two reasons:
1. To boost my self-esteem.
2. To help you keep really important mitzvos like tefillah, Shabbos and taharas hamishpacha.
you know you can count on them—always.
Yehudaa, can they count on you to help them keep going?
Yehudaa, MyZmanim exists thanks to users like you.
Please
make your donation so MyZmanim can continue benefiting you and all of Klal Yisrael.
Whatever you give will be deeply appreciated.
Yehudaa, if you appreciate MyZmanim, please
donate now.
Here’s to a flaming-sky, orange-streaked, mutually respectful relationship moving forward, one sha’ah zmanis at a time.
Your elusive friend,
Shekiah