Author Topic: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...  (Read 44063 times)

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #160 on: January 08, 2017, 09:08:40 PM »
don't know who wrote this but before my wedding, my rebba who is very chassidish told me the same thing in essence - in yiddish of course- and he added that the one of the reasons why we make such a big celebration for our wedding is to celebrate the Gevura of a Yid where he listens to hashem when no one is watching.
It's based on a Gemara.

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #161 on: January 08, 2017, 09:19:10 PM »
You want PC? Let's talk about chumra d'R Zeira and the galya mesechta..
Here you go.. enjoy

Quote
"עיקר מימרא דרבי זירא לא הוי מתקנת חכמים אלא בנות ישראל החמירו על עצמן חומרא זו מעצמן ולפיכך ראוי לומר בפשיטות על עניין חומרא דרבי זירא לבנקל נפטרין ממנה, היינו בכל עניין ובכל מקום שיש איזה צד להקל..." (רבי דוד מנובהרדוק, שו"ת "גליא מסכת" י', סי' ד')
"דין זה 

Offline theduke

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #162 on: January 08, 2017, 09:19:41 PM »
It's based on a Gemara.
So your saying mein rebba ken lernen ;D

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #163 on: January 08, 2017, 09:25:21 PM »
So your saying mein rebba ken lernen ;D
היתר זה אמרו בגמרא ( סנהדרין לז., מתורגם לעברית):

אמר לו אותו מין לרב כהנא: אתם אומרים נדה מותרת להתייחד עִם בעלה[46], אפשר אש בנעורת [- בנסורת] ואינה מהבהבת (- דולקת, אוחזת[47], בוערת[48])? - אמר לו [רב כהנא]: התורה העידה עלינו 'סוּגָה בַּשּׁוֹשַׁנִּים' (שיר השירים ז, ג), שאפילו כסוגה [- מגודרת]בשושנים[49] - לא יפרצו בהן פרצות[50]. ריש לקישאמר [שהדבר נלמד] מכאן - 'כְּפֶלַח הָרִמּוֹן רַקָּתֵךְ'(שיר השירים ו, ז) אפילו ריקנים שבך [- שבעם ישראל] מלאים מצוות כרמון. רבי זירא אמר[שהדבר נלמד] מכאן - 'וַיָּרַח אֶת רֵיחַ בְּגָדָיו'(בראשית כז, כז), אל תיקרי בגדיו אלא בוגדיו".

ודבר זה, שִבחם של ישראל הוא, שאע"פ שתאווהגדולה יש בדבר, ולב בני הזוג גס אחד בשני[51]ואינם בושים זה מזו וזו מזה[52], ואין זר מבלעדיהם יודע בדבר, מ"מ נזהרים הם באזהרת התורה, ואינם נוגעים איש באשתו ואפילו באצבע קטנה[53]. ועל דבר אמרו במדרש[54]:

"סוּגָה (- מגודרת) בַּשּׁוֹשָׁנִּים" - אין המקרא אומר אלא דרשני, [וכי] יש אדם [ש]גודר שדהו בשושנים, [- הרי] דרך בני אדם [ש]גודריםכרמיהם או שדותיהם בקוצים ובדרדרים, בסירים ובחוחים (- מיני קוצים), שמא ראית אדם מימך שהוא גודר שדה בשושנים? אלא אלו הן דברי תורה שהם רכים כשושנים.כיצד? בנוהג שבעולם, אדם נושא אִשה בן שלושים שנה, בן ארבעים שנה[55], היה מתאווהלראות עצמו בתוך חופתו, אין לו יום גדול וחביב הימנו שהוא שמח עִם אשתו, הוציא יציאותיו [- הוצאות החתונה] והציע חופתו. בא להיזקק  לאשתו, והיא אומרת לו: 'כשושנה אדומה ראיתי' [- ראיתי דם אדום כשושנה]. מייד פירש הימנה, זה הופך פניו לכאן וזו הופכת פניה לכאן.מי גרם לו שלא יקרב אליה? איזה כותל ברזל יש ביניהם, ואיזה עמוד ברזל ביניהם? מי הפרישו הימנה? אי זה נחש נשכו, איזה עקרב עקצו שלא יקרב לה? אלא אלו הם דברי תורה שרכים כשושנה, שנאמר בה (ויקרא יח, יט): וְאֶל אִשָּׁה בְּנִדַּת טֻמְאָתָהּ לֹא תִקְרַב".

Offline gozalim

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #164 on: January 08, 2017, 09:32:38 PM »
I second this. definitely has its fair share of frustrations (think botched honeymoon)
IINM the rebbe advised against the traditional honeymoon, among other things, still adjusting to new set of rules, traveling, especially to places with no LOR/community (IIUC Jerusalem wouldn't have this issue).
 IMHO combine that with odds of besulim, you're better off saving the island vacation for a couple months later

Online hvaces42

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #165 on: January 08, 2017, 09:39:57 PM »
Yes, Park Hyatt operator, I want an upgrade due to wedding night and we want a rollaway bed please...  ;D
Almost that exact scenario. Anniversary asked for upgrade weeks in advance. When we show up ask for 2 beds. The looks we got... >:(
Fair warning - Any PMs sent in response to forum posts are fair game for ridicule in public.

Online aygart

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #166 on: January 08, 2017, 09:40:57 PM »
Many learn that passing objects is an extension of the issur negiah. Very logical.
Shemo yiga
Feelings don't care about your facts

Online ExGingi

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #167 on: January 08, 2017, 09:42:07 PM »
IINM the rebbe advised against the traditional honeymoon, among other things, still adjusting to new set of rules, traveling, especially to places with no LOR/community (IIUC Jerusalem wouldn't have this issue).
Definitely not advisable to have a "honeymoon" right away.

One interesting anecdote about Jerusalem. DW once had to use mikvah there and had trauma of her lifetime. Very different than what she was accustomed to. Though American style is available, one just has to know where to ask.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline mendy from lakewood

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #168 on: January 08, 2017, 09:44:11 PM »
Definitely not advisable to have a "honeymoon" right away.

One interesting anecdote about Jerusalem. DW once had to use mikvah there and had trauma of her lifetime. Very different than what she was accustomed to. Though American style is available, one just has to know where to ask.
care to share about the trauma
"Respect is earned, Honesty is appreciated, Trust is gained, Loyalty is returned"

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #169 on: January 08, 2017, 09:47:34 PM »
care to share about the trauma
In general, even in the US, chassidishe mikva lady's perform a full and intrusive examination for chatziza as opposed to the casual glance done by others...

Offline mendy from lakewood

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #170 on: January 08, 2017, 09:49:05 PM »
In general, even in the US, chassidishe mikva lady's perform a full and intrusive examination for chatziza as opposed to the casual glance done by others...
i hope you are not serious
"Respect is earned, Honesty is appreciated, Trust is gained, Loyalty is returned"

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #171 on: January 08, 2017, 09:52:45 PM »
i hope you are not serious
Dead serious. We were actually taught not to use satmar mikva for this reason.

Offline mendy from lakewood

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #172 on: January 08, 2017, 09:53:35 PM »
Dead serious. We were actually taught not to use satmar mikva for this reason.
I did not go to Israel after I was married so I never knew of this...
"Respect is earned, Honesty is appreciated, Trust is gained, Loyalty is returned"

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #173 on: January 08, 2017, 09:55:27 PM »
I did not go to Israel after I was married so I never knew of this...
I'm talking satmar in Lakewood!!

Offline mendy from lakewood

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #174 on: January 08, 2017, 09:57:09 PM »
I'm talking satmar in Lakewood!!
wow! Didn't even know they have ladies Mikva...
"Respect is earned, Honesty is appreciated, Trust is gained, Loyalty is returned"

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #175 on: January 08, 2017, 10:02:19 PM »
wow! Didn't even know they have ladies Mikva...
I don't think they do.. I meant satmar in america etc. Like if you're traveling don't go to a new square/ satmar etc.

Online aygart

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #176 on: January 08, 2017, 10:10:18 PM »
I don't think they do.. I meant satmar in america etc. Like if you're traveling don't go to a new square/ satmar etc.
They do.
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #177 on: January 08, 2017, 10:10:47 PM »
They do.
I thought so but got unsure...

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #178 on: January 08, 2017, 10:55:44 PM »
You want PC? Let's talk about chumra d'R Zeira and the galya mesechta..
Here you go.. enjoy
I guess I overestimated some guys here...

Offline Cheesecake

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #179 on: January 08, 2017, 10:57:19 PM »
Seems like everyone has the same soundbite.
Yes, it's arguably better longterm for the relationship. It doesn't mean that it doesn't make things more difficult in the short term.
If you want to talk short term, you don't need to go past the actual separation, which is difficult.