Ultimately I think the misconception is the idea that the Torah is a set of restrictions rather than the ultimate guidebook to a life of happiness from the creator of the universe (and the human psyche). To think following emotional whims will make you happier than following Halacha is childish. That's not to say it's not difficult and people can fail but it's the attitude that's the issue. On a practical level I don't really believe the person in the article saying he is happier holding his wife every night. It's scientifically proven that it's the contrast to pain that causes pleasure ( e.g. going from a state of Niddah to Tahara). See how long it takes for whatever benefit he senses now to fizzle.