Author Topic: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...  (Read 92036 times)

Offline MC

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #240 on: January 09, 2017, 04:05:58 PM »
Let it rip.  :)

Firstly, the article is complete nonsense. You cannot take an abnormal situation (a fourteen year old bride . . . I mean, seriously?) and try to infer a principle from there.

Secondly, the whole piece about it being obligatory when both husband and wife don't want to that night. Totally false.

Thirdly, the laws of family purity are not meant to be convenient or easy. They force couples to connect in ways other that physical touch, and most couples who are committed to keeping the laws, discover the beauty in them.

Sure, they are difficult. They can create challenges. Children can also create challenges in marriage, but no one gives them up just because of that.

Offline Cheesecake

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #241 on: January 09, 2017, 05:38:14 PM »
Firstly, the article is complete nonsense. You cannot take an abnormal situation (a fourteen year old bride . . . I mean, seriously?) and try to infer a principle from there.

Secondly, the whole piece about it being obligatory when both husband and wife don't want to that night. Totally false.

Thirdly, the laws of family purity are not meant to be convenient or easy. They force couples to connect in ways other that physical touch, and most couples who are committed to keeping the laws, discover the beauty in them.

Sure, they are difficult. They can create challenges. Children can also create challenges in marriage, but no one gives them up just because of that.
+1

Offline Ergel

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #242 on: January 09, 2017, 05:41:32 PM »
Same goes for valuable input from our small handful of members of the fairer sex...
That
Life isn't about checking the boxes. Nobody cares.

Offline Boruch999

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Offline zh cohen

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #244 on: January 09, 2017, 06:11:29 PM »

Children can also create challenges in marriage, but no one gives them up just because of that.

No-one? I think we live in a society, in which something "being hard" is becoming a valid reason not to do it.

(Less so in the frum world, but we are being influenced by the outside)

Other than that, I agree wholeheartedly with your three points.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2017, 06:14:37 PM by zh cohen »

Offline Cheesecake

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #245 on: January 09, 2017, 07:10:03 PM »
No-one? I think we live in a society, in which something "being hard" is becoming a valid reason not to do it.

(Less so in the frum world, but we are being influenced by the outside)

Other than that, I agree wholeheartedly with your three points.
OK, so no one normal.

Online ExGingi

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #246 on: January 09, 2017, 07:31:05 PM »
From personal experience, driving an hour and 15 minutes qualified.
I am sure my DW would consider anything, which could be reached by any means of transportation while open (or can be opened specially for her) enough of a sha'as hadechak to make me do anything to get there. If I would dare to suggest asking a Rov about traveling an hour and 15 minutes to reach a bor al gabei Bor mikvah, she would think I am going OTD.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2017, 07:48:39 PM by ExGingi »
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline as2

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #247 on: January 09, 2017, 07:32:51 PM »

If you can drive 3 hours to pick up a stack of red cards,  you can drive an hour and a half to a mikvah
Memories last forever, make them while you can.

Offline 12HRS

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #248 on: January 09, 2017, 07:47:16 PM »
If you can drive 3 hours to pick up a stack of red cards,  you can drive an hour and a half to a mikvah

who said his wife would be willing.

Offline as2

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #249 on: January 09, 2017, 07:54:53 PM »
who said his wife would be willing.
Taake a good Shaila.
Memories last forever, make them while you can.

Offline elit

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #250 on: January 09, 2017, 08:01:16 PM »
Firstly, the article is complete nonsense. You cannot take an abnormal situation (a fourteen year old bride . . . I mean, seriously?) and try to infer a principle from there.

Secondly, the whole piece about it being obligatory when both husband and wife don't want to that night. Totally false.

Thirdly, the laws of family purity are not meant to be convenient or easy. They force couples to connect in ways other that physical touch, and most couples who are committed to keeping the laws, discover the beauty in them.

Sure, they are difficult. They can create challenges. Children can also create challenges in marriage, but no one gives them up just because of that.
Well said but...
Don't waste your time that article wasn't worth a millisecond of anyone here's time

Offline zh cohen

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #251 on: January 09, 2017, 08:31:56 PM »
I am sure my DW would consider anything, which could be reached by any means of transportation while open (or can be opened specially for her) enough of a sha'as hadechak to make me do anything to get there. If I would dare to suggest asking a Rov about traveling an hour and 15 minutes to reach a bor al gabei Bor mikvah, she would think I am going OTD.

I should point out that the bit hashoka (which is min hatzad) is bor al gabei bor.

Offline YitzyS

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #252 on: January 09, 2017, 08:57:39 PM »
The floor in Park Hyatt New York is not as comfortable as one might think.

Offline chaimmayer

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #253 on: January 09, 2017, 09:59:20 PM »
 I know many Lubavitchers who traveled more than an hour 15 minutes to the closest bor al Gabei bor mikve but maybe they had other reasons they didn't want to use the local mikve and that was just their excuse.

Offline sky121

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #254 on: January 09, 2017, 10:44:02 PM »
Firstly, the article is complete nonsense. You cannot take an abnormal situation (a fourteen year old bride . . . I mean, seriously?) and try to infer a principle from there.

Secondly, the whole piece about it being obligatory when both husband and wife don't want to that night. Totally false.

Thirdly, the laws of family purity are not meant to be convenient or easy. They force couples to connect in ways other that physical touch, and most couples who are committed to keeping the laws, discover the beauty in them.

Sure, they are difficult. They can create challenges. Children can also create challenges in marriage, but no one gives them up just because of that.


I think there is something for everyone to take away from the article.
One, it does help bring about the opportunity to discuss what the "average" religious person feels about the laws and how they can sometimes be inconvenient or not ideal etc etc.

And two what we can do to help those who are in situations where these laws are causing major problems in their yiddeshkeit and in their lives.



From my own personal discussions with friends, and many others I find that there are many people who really love all the laws, many who are just fine with the laws and see the good and bad and then those who it really causes major problems in their lives for whatever reason.


I'd say the majority of people I know fall into that middle group but that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of people who don't fall into the first or last.




And while it could be the average joe isn't struggling with these laws I'd say like many other areas as well there are enough who are for it to warrant a discussion.

"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline a mirrer

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #255 on: January 10, 2017, 04:52:50 AM »
Firstly, the article is complete nonsense. You cannot take an abnormal situation (a fourteen year old bride . . . I mean, seriously?) and try to infer a principle from there.

Secondly, the whole piece about it being obligatory when both husband and wife don't want to that night. Totally false.
al pi kabala its very not pashut not to do it that night ill find the sefer later where it brings stories of mazikim attaching themselves to women who didn't do it that night

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #256 on: January 10, 2017, 06:59:09 AM »

I think there is something for everyone to take away from the article.
One, it does help bring about the opportunity to discuss what the "average" religious person feels about the laws and how they can sometimes be inconvenient or not ideal etc etc.

And two what we can do to help those who are in situations where these laws are causing major problems in their yiddeshkeit and in their lives.



From my own personal discussions with friends, and many others I find that there are many people who really love all the laws, many who are just fine with the laws and see the good and bad and then those who it really causes major problems in their lives for whatever reason.


I'd say the majority of people I know fall into that middle group but that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of people who don't fall into the first or last.




And while it could be the average joe isn't struggling with these laws I'd say like many other areas as well there are enough who are for it to warrant a discussion.
So the discussion is about whether or not we should be " oy, Iz azoi shver Tzu zein a yid" or not?

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #257 on: January 10, 2017, 08:05:25 AM »

I think there is something for everyone to take away from the article.
One, it does help bring about the opportunity to discuss what the "average" religious person feels about the laws and how they can sometimes be inconvenient or not ideal etc etc.

And two what we can do to help those who are in situations where these laws are causing major problems in their yiddeshkeit and in their lives.



From my own personal discussions with friends, and many others I find that there are many people who really love all the laws, many who are just fine with the laws and see the good and bad and then those who it really causes major problems in their lives for whatever reason.


I'd say the majority of people I know fall into that middle group but that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of people who don't fall into the first or last.




And while it could be the average joe isn't struggling with these laws I'd say like many other areas as well there are enough who are for it to warrant a discussion.


How many of those in each of the 3 categories are also in the same categories about many other various aspects of life?
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline Sport

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #258 on: January 10, 2017, 08:14:26 AM »
So the discussion is about whether or not we should be " oy, Iz azoi shver Tzu zein a yid" or not?
Acknowledging something is difficult does not equal "its tough being jewish".

Offline MC

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Re: Taharas Hamishpacha Article Discussion For The Married Folk...
« Reply #259 on: January 10, 2017, 09:41:20 AM »
al pi kabala its very not pashut not to do it that night ill find the sefer later where it brings stories of mazikim attaching themselves to women who didn't do it that night
Al pi kabala and Halacha are not one and the same. I'm not saying it's ideal; I'm just saying it's not an absolute.