Obviously the question really starts is why are the poor living such a high lifestyle
AP dead or Obi dead?
By your standards there can never be criticism of anything.
I think the answer is that if everyone doesn't work and Can live this lifestyle than i deserve it to, cuz he is no different than me. Whereas when you work it is understood that different people make different amounts of money
Not sure that that's answer. Plenty of non kollel families who have jobs and make a living still trying to keep up with others and live beyond their means. It's also way easier to live beyond your means than ever before IMO.
We've gotten to the point where even the Lakewood chosson gemach that takes care of basic needs for chassanim is paying for a custom suit....
You know this first hand?
Even if true their goal is to help chassanim who are indigent be on par with everyone else. It's not a reflection on the fund which is amazing, it's a reflection on the level of expectation of chassanim in general. Same goes for the kallah organizations who provide household furnishings to kallahs. Amazing and vital work, but a reflection on general expectations in the community. A high percentage of otherwise financially stable families need help because it is unacceptable socially to make a wedding that is within their modest budget....
I don't remember where I heard it so I should not have mentioned it as fact.... I Agree that in any case it would not be a reflection on the fund which I'm sure does great work...
That gemachs give it is what makes it socially required. I know of families who get clothing given to them each Yom Tov and they are the Joneses who people feel they need to keep up with.
Socially required?I got married 5 years ago, and was able to afford a custom suit, but didn't buy one or hear of it as being a "thing" to buy one. Even today I can buy great wedding quality suits for less than $250.
While I know many families who shop in the children's place *gasp*, or deja new and are very content. There is a concept of a gvir that lost everything and needs to be supported up to his standards, but not every regular Joe should be in this category. It's wrong.