Author Topic: NY Post Article On Satmar Couple's Open Marriage (Interesting Articles Split)  (Read 44249 times)

Online aygart

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What did you guys think the conversation about this article was? Where they were last night?
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Offline lechatchileh ariber

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Does laziness fall into the category of tacos according to you guys?
I don't sin, I give myself opportunities to repent.

Offline chevron

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My dream would be to teach jewish history in relation to rituals.

In absence of the Bait Hamikdash, kjudaism became a religion of rituals. The excitement of daily practice is long gone, holidays are no longer as exciting, go to the kotel on tisha b'av and how many jews are really crying ?

Rav JB soloveitchik writes a lot about this, I love his passion expression tempered by intellect, his brisker lineage, influence of a chabad melamed and reconciling his secular encounters and huge intellect.

Chabad didnt do it for me because without the Rebbe, its hard to stay connected.. just as above with bait hamikdash. Also chabad philosophy didnt cater to my intellect.

Being non religious can be any thing really but yes its mostly the appeal of pleasure without guilt, as Eliyahu said "how long will you serve both baal and God ?"

Pleasures can be anything from trayf, to wanting to party on shabbat, sure a lot is sexual, but its mostly a lack of connection and caring, a bit like how marriages break down, at some point people just dont care any more so they leave.

For me, studying the Mesorah and the intellectual supremacy of the Rav, the Halachik mind, the Halachik man, the lonely man of faith etc coupled with my knowledge of Chasidus is really what keeps me grounded.

Also, the frum worlds really needs to step back and re-evaluate itself, never was being religious so heavy in rules and rituals, its like a guy that buys his wife fancy gifts but cant be bothered to listen her speak and sincerely be there for her.

Offline efflpetzel

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My dream would be to teach jewish history in relation to rituals.

In absence of the Bait Hamikdash, kjudaism became a religion of rituals. The excitement of daily practice is long gone, holidays are no longer as exciting, go to the kotel on tisha b'av and how many jews are really crying ?

Rav JB soloveitchik writes a lot about this, I love his passion expression tempered by intellect, his brisker lineage, influence of a chabad melamed and reconciling his secular encounters and huge intellect.

Chabad didnt do it for me because without the Rebbe, its hard to stay connected.. just as above with bait hamikdash. Also chabad philosophy didnt cater to my intellect.

Being non religious can be any thing really but yes its mostly the appeal of pleasure without guilt, as Eliyahu said "how long will you serve both baal and God ?"

Pleasures can be anything from trayf, to wanting to party on shabbat, sure a lot is sexual, but its mostly a lack of connection and caring, a bit like how marriages break down, at some point people just dont care any more so they leave.

For me, studying the Mesorah and the intellectual supremacy of the Rav, the Halachik mind, the Halachik man, the lonely man of faith etc coupled with my knowledge of Chasidus is really what keeps me grounded.

Also, the frum worlds really needs to step back and re-evaluate itself, never was being religious so heavy in rules and rituals, its like a guy that buys his wife fancy gifts but cant be bothered to listen her speak and sincerely be there for her.
I'm assuming your not married after saying this, but the rest of you're post is spot on


Offline JTZ

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What did you guys think the conversation about this article was? Where they were last night?
We can always hope.
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Offline meshugener

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Re: Re: Interesting Articles...
« Reply #165 on: March 17, 2017, 02:41:30 PM »
Not exactly, and might sound a little condescending.

There was a group of highly intellectual bochurim who went OTD (to various degrees). כז אדר \ ג תמוז might have been part of the trigger or facilitator, but there were definitely other factors. At least one of them (son of a neighbor of mine) is somewhat attached, and has been seen around more often in recent years. IINM they all did drugs to a certain extent at some point.

That brings to mind another highly intellectual classmate of mine (from Morristown) who went OTD, I see him in Crown Heights rarely, and don't really know what his status is.

And then there's another one who used to stand right next to me at the Rebbe's farbrengens, had a phenomenal head and memory, and used to do חזרה of the farbrengens in great detail. He went OTD after he was married.

By no stretch of the imagination would I call any of the above an עם-הארץ, these guys were all top of the class, both in נגלה and חסידות! However, I really don't think it was an intellectual trigger that caused any of the above to go OTD. While none of us knows what's in people's minds, especially in the last case I mentioned, I believe he just succumbed to his תאוות.

What's drugs got to do with being intellectual or not?
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Offline meshugener

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Re: Re: Interesting Articles...
« Reply #166 on: March 17, 2017, 02:46:07 PM »

90% of OTD is because they cant reconcile their sexual activity with Judaism...1% is intellectual OTD and the rest is a mixture of reasons.
You're fascinated with sex.

While your lust fantasies may have been your urge to go OTD (didn't end happening because your ego is more powerful than your sexual desires), that's not necessarily what drives the 90% OTD.
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Offline meshugener

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My impression is that being OTD is not much fun; typically it means losing your entire social network, community, and to some extent family. 

I'd assume people leave if the pain they have in staying is more than that.

Well said.
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Offline ExGingi

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Re: Re: Interesting Articles...
« Reply #168 on: March 17, 2017, 02:58:03 PM »
What's drugs got to do with being intellectual or not?
Welcome to the discussion.

Did I infer anywhere that doing drugs has anything to do with intellect?

However, drugs are part of going OTD. My entire post was about not connecting going OTD with עם הארצות.
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Offline ExGingi

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Re: Re: Interesting Articles...
« Reply #169 on: March 17, 2017, 03:01:40 PM »
You're fascinated with sex.

Reminds me of
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
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Online AsherO

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However, drugs are part of going OTD.

Says who? Aren't they mutually exclusive?
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Offline ExGingi

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Says who? Aren't they mutually exclusive?
What does the D of OTD stand for?

I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
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Offline hvaces42

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Re: Re: Interesting Articles...
« Reply #172 on: March 17, 2017, 03:08:44 PM »
You're fascinated with sex.

While your lust fantasies may have been your urge to go OTD (didn't end happening because your ego is more powerful than your sexual desires), that's not necessarily what drives the 90% OTD.
And you sir are Meshugener...need I say more?
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Offline lechatchileh ariber

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Maybe ddf was more fun because mesh was here?
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Online aygart

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Says who? Aren't they mutually exclusive?
Drugs often cause OTD
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What does the D of OTD stand for?

Derech, typically referring to Shabbos, Kashrus, TH, Davening etc. Someone could technically do all those and still use drugs recreationally. And not all OTD people use drugs, hence I say they're mutually exclusive.
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Offline ExGingi

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Derech, typically referring to Shabbos, Kashrus, TH, Davening etc. Someone could technically do all those and still use drugs recreationally. And not all OTD people use drugs, hence I say they're mutually exclusive.
Many people would define "doing drugs" as a deviation from the "Derech". It is a deviation from ישובו של עולם, and regardless of שמירת התורה והמצוות could be considered OTD.

I definitely agree that not all OTD people use drugs (I would hope that most don't), but that doesn't make them "mutually exclusive" which in English means "cannot co-exist" AFAIK.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
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Offline mmgfarb

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Can we define "drugs"? Are you including pot in that?
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Offline JTZ

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Re: Re: Interesting Articles...
« Reply #178 on: March 18, 2017, 08:38:57 PM »
What's drugs got to do with being intellectual or not?
It kills brain cells.
"LESS IS MORE" It is the cumulative effect that kills deals!!! How many times do I have to say this?  >:(

Offline lechatchileh ariber

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I don't sin, I give myself opportunities to repent.