The funny/strange/interesting story that happened to you thread...

[Yehuda57]

I don't think anyone takes the not Jewish part seriously, especially based on the story

But CMIIW, happy to remove it.

I'm not thinking anyone will think that after your post, I'm saying OP's hava amina is what might be offensive to her. Again, I have no idea, but I would not be surprised if it was very hurtful to someone to see their Jewish identity questioned, especially if it's not the first time.

[jj1000]

Agreed. I would be uncomfortable if it was me....

Mods - maybe clean up the names/identifying posts etc

Removed.

[yitzgar]

Thanks. Still one more quote of op

[Dan]

I've heard of it mostly done for immigration purposes. I personally am opposed to being legally married altogether, unless there's a reason (such as immigration), especially since Obergefell v. Hodges.

In a household with a large disparity in incomes, wouldn't married filing jointly be of tax benefit?

[Dawie]

I'm not thinking anyone will think that after your post, I'm saying OP's hava amina is what might be offensive to her. Again, I have no idea, but I would not be surprised if it was very hurtful to someone to see their Jewish identity questioned, especially if it's not the first time.

I removed it
i only put it up to show that she follows dansdeals and may even be a ddf'er
this whole thing should come down

[ExGingi]

In a household with a large disparity in incomes, wouldn't married filing jointly be of tax benefit?

Every situation is different. If a person can control the income distribution between spouses (such as business owner) then there's obviously more flexibility. But often 1 head of household and another single (or two head of households) might work out better. The bottom line is that one has more flexibility. Being Halachically married but not legally married (especially in places like NY where one can choose a legitimate different legal structure such as domestic partnership), is simpler than getting legally but not Halachically divorced if not being married is more beneficial.

[Ver hut gazugt]

You can't marry religiously until you're married secularly?

rabbi shvay a”h ask me to get marriage license as well. He did not say why.

Someone told me the rabbonim don’t like ( run into trouble) when people get  married lhalacha but purposely not legally….. only what I heard don’t know if it’s true.

[ExGingi]

rabbi shvay a”h ask me to get marriage license as well. He did not say why.

Someone told me the rabbonim don’t like ( run into trouble) when people get  married lhalacha but purposely not legally….. only what I heard don’t know if it’s true.

AFAIK a marriage license is required for a Rabbi to perform a marriage.

However, what if one CHOOSES to have their civil status formalized as a domestic partnership? I don't see why this should be any different that having the options for various business entities such as a Corporation, an LLC, etc. NY law gives couples two options (of which I am aware) to formalize their committed relationship in the eyes of civil law.

[Randomex]

Things I will try to remember in the future:

1. If someone's wearing a yarmulke, they're probably not intermarrying. (Discuss?)
(No, they probably did not put it on for the sake of a civil marriage ceremony.)
Also, they presumably deserve to be nidun l'kaf z'chus about this.

2. Not every Jew has a Jewish-sounding name (or uses their Hebrew name).

3. If you're not sure about a situation, maybe you should ask. (It might also be a good
idea to ask about your concern directly in case it might be sensitive as a follow-up.)

4. Maybe don't post about people without good reason, or at least some reason.

[Randomex]

Some minutes ago, I was walking through Lakewood's municipal building's parking lot when a man in a yarmulke approached me
and asked (after first asking if I spoke English)

I love this part of the story. Lakewood is getting a rap like Williamsburg

Hey, you don't know what I look like...

[Randomex]

@jj1000

Suggested change:

From:

His fiancée's name turned out to be Martinez.

To:

His fiancée's name turned out to be about as Jewish-sounding as "Cassandra Gonzalez."

(And then erase this post.)

[Yehuda57]

4. Maybe don't post about people without good reason, or at least some reason.

If you wouldn't have posted, you wouldn't have learned the other lessons. Just don't use real names

[ckmk47]

I've heard of it mostly done for immigration purposes. I personally am opposed to being legally married altogether, unless there's a reason (such as immigration), especially since Obergefell v. Hodges.

I'm old enough to feel that a Jewish couple should be MARRIED, not just be living together. 
I know, they're halachikly married, so it doesn't count. Eh, they're unmarried and living together.

[ExGingi]

I'm old enough to feel that a Jewish couple should be MARRIED, not just be living together. 
I know, they're halachikly married, so it doesn't count. Eh, they're unmarried and living together.

Obergefell v. Hodges removed any special significance civil marriage might have had. It's a legal structure and NY offers an acceptable alternative legal structure.

Oh and AFAIK no one asks to see a marriage license in order to file as married (if that's what you want) or to name a spousal beneficiary (if you claim to already be married when employment started).

[Dan]

Obergefell v. Hodges removed any special significance civil marriage might have had. It's a legal structure and NY offers an acceptable alternative legal structure.

Oh and AFAIK no one asks to see a marriage license in order to file as married (if that's what you want) or to name a spousal beneficiary (if you claim to already be married when employment started).

Until you're audited.

[flyingace]

Obergefell v. Hodges removed any special significance civil marriage might have had. It's a legal structure and NY offers an acceptable alternative legal structure.

Oh and AFAIK no one asks to see a marriage license in order to file as married (if that's what you want) or to name a spousal beneficiary (if you claim to already be married when employment started).

Or until a spouse wants to collect Social Security.

[yungermanchik]

Buy a roll of clear vinyl from Homedepot along with a staple gun and staple remover. And do it yourself. (A blow-dryer helps too)

When I ordered this at the height of covid, I got an email that the vinyl was delivered, but the dimensions of the box did not make sense at all. I opened it, and lo and behold, there was a garbage can. An outdoor one but too small to be worth using for household trash. I called them up  and they said to keep it and helped me reorder the roll of vinyl for the original payment. I then asked them, how can such a mix up happen. They said that the warehouse workers are so overworked that they probably just slapped the label on the wrong box.
The Garbage can has been sitting under the communal mailbox for all the junk mail, and it has been very useful.

[YitzyS]

When I ordered this at the height of covid, I got an email that the vinyl was delivered, but the dimensions of the box did not make sense at all. I opened it, and lo and behold, there was a garbage can. An outdoor one but too small to be worth using for household trash. I called them up  and they said to keep it and helped me reorder the roll of vinyl for the original payment. I then asked them, how can such a mix up happen. They said that the warehouse workers are so overworked that they probably just slapped the label on the wrong box.
The Garbage can has been sitting under the communal mailbox for all the junk mail, and it has been very useful.

Now what does that have to do with dinner?