Poll

Are you frum and do you daven daily?

I'm frum and I (mostly) daven with a minyan 3x a day
90 (60.4%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) daven without a minyan 3x a day
18 (12.1%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) daven daily
22 (14.8%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) don't daven every day
13 (8.7%)
I'm not frum and I (mostly) daven daily
2 (1.3%)
I'm not frum and I (mostly) don't daven daily
4 (2.7%)

Total Members Voted: 149

Author Topic: Do you Daven?  (Read 9670 times)

Offline wayfe

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Do you Daven?
« on: January 10, 2018, 05:39:32 PM »
Mods, I hope this allowed.

So I'm part of the small percentage of female DDF'ers and I'd like to pose a poll to you majority holders.

Are you frum and do you daven daily?

The reason I'm asking is that my husband (we're a BY type Chassidish family from BP and pretty much fits in with the DDF male demographic) does not and when I finally reached out for support from a mentor I was told I am in very, very good company.
« Last Edit: January 10, 2018, 05:43:21 PM by wayfe »
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Offline iAm

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2018, 05:45:45 PM »
lol this is extremely prevelant and one of the things that's very misunderstood in shidduchim
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Offline Mordyk

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2018, 05:47:04 PM »
why not add an option that you try to daven with minyan(or mostly daven with minyan)

Offline tzifanya54

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2018, 05:50:05 PM »
Mods, I hope this allowed.

So I'm part of the small percentage of female DDF'ers and I'd like to pose a poll to you majority holders.

Are you frum and do you daven daily?

The reason I'm asking is that my husband (we're a BY type Chassidish family from BP and pretty much fits in with the DDF male demographic) does not and when I finally reached out for support from a mentor I was told I am in very, very good company.
Does he daven sometimes? Shabbos? With a minyan when he does?

Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2018, 05:53:39 PM »
Does he daven sometimes? Shabbos? With a minyan when he does?

During the week: Occasionally
On Shabbos: 50/50
Shul on Shabbos: Occasionally

"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
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Offline iAm

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2018, 05:56:09 PM »
Here is my theory: Most married males, over time, begin to daven more often. This often occurs as they are raising kids and sending them off to school, and recognize that they should be some form of a role model if they want their kids to get up for minyan in yeshiva.

Consequently, girls grow up in a home where they see their dad davening (him having already evolved), and assume this is the norm. Hence, they expect this as a bare minimum from potential spouses, and are shocked when their husbands in their 20s/30s don't go to minyan.

However, my experience is that davening penetration in the 20s/30s group is quite low, even among people who are 'good' (for lack of a better term) people.
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Offline gingyguy

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2018, 06:00:28 PM »
gotta have an option i daven just not to the same G-d and dont daven not jewish
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Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2018, 06:03:02 PM »
lol this is extremely prevelant and one of the things that's very misunderstood in shidduchim

Please explain to me why it's an issue?

I'm not a new bambi-eyed kallah. However, I understand that we are both sacrificing (time and money, etc.) so much to belong to a Jewish community. So this confuses me. If he told me he's done with this 'fake frumness' and wants us to move to a non-jewish community- I might even be ok with it.

Why is it that my father would not dream of skipping a minyan and my husband's father walks over a mile to shul every Shabbos and yet my husband doesn't seem to see this as an important aspect in raising a Jewish family?
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
Richard Feynman

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2018, 06:03:30 PM »
Mods, I hope this allowed.

So I'm part of the small percentage of female DDF'ers and I'd like to pose a poll to you majority holders.

Are you frum and do you daven daily?

The reason I'm asking is that my husband (we're a BY type Chassidish family from BP and pretty much fits in with the DDF male demographic) does not and when I finally reached out for support from a mentor I was told I am in very, very good company.
Wait, you asking about men or women??

Offline iAm

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2018, 06:06:16 PM »
Why is it that my father would not dream of skipping a minyan and my husband's father walks over a mile to shul every Shabbos and yet my husband doesn't seem to see this as an important aspect in raising a Jewish family?

Key word being father, thats why i wrote this

Here is my theory: Most married males, over time, begin to daven more often. This often occurs as they are raising kids and sending them off to school, and recognize that they should be some form of a role model if they want their kids to get up for minyan in yeshiva.

Consequently, girls grow up in a home where they see their dad davening (him having already evolved), and assume this is the norm. Hence, they expect this as a bare minimum from potential spouses, and are shocked when their husbands in their 20s/30s don't go to minyan.

However, my experience is that davening penetration in the 20s/30s group is quite low, even among people who are 'good' (for lack of a better term) people.
iThink. Ergo. iAm

Offline yhaller14

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2018, 06:06:49 PM »



 (we're a BY type Chassidish family from BP and pretty much fits in with the DDF male demographic)
How did u get to that?
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Offline Dan

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #11 on: January 10, 2018, 06:07:16 PM »
Please explain to me why it's an issue?

I'm not a new bambi-eyed kallah. However, I understand that we are both sacrificing (time and money, etc.) so much to belong to a Jewish community. So this confuses me. If he told me he's done with this 'fake frumness' and wants us to move to a non-jewish community- I might even be ok with it.

Why is it that my father would not dream of skipping a minyan and my husband's father walks over a mile to shul every Shabbos and yet my husband doesn't seem to see this as an important aspect in raising a Jewish family?

Orthoprax?
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #12 on: January 10, 2018, 06:10:48 PM »
gotta have an option i daven just not to the same G-d and dont daven not jewish

Those can be included in the last 2 options
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
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Offline yhaller14

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #13 on: January 10, 2018, 06:10:50 PM »
"In the end we only regret the chances we didn't take"

Offline iAm

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #14 on: January 10, 2018, 06:10:56 PM »
However, I understand that we are both sacrificing (time and money, etc.) so much to belong to a Jewish community. So this confuses me. If he told me he's done with this 'fake frumness' and wants us to move to a non-jewish community- I might even be ok with it.

The starting point is that men that dont go to minyan, dont view going to minyan as "fake frumness" at all. They just dont do it. There's also the fact that male education (unfortunately or not), does not put nearly as much an emphasis on it as female education.
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