Poll

Are you frum and do you daven daily?

I'm frum and I (mostly) daven with a minyan 3x a day
94 (60.6%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) daven without a minyan 3x a day
19 (12.3%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) daven daily
23 (14.8%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) don't daven every day
13 (8.4%)
I'm not frum and I (mostly) daven daily
2 (1.3%)
I'm not frum and I (mostly) don't daven daily
4 (2.6%)

Total Members Voted: 155

Author Topic: Do you Daven?  (Read 59694 times)

Offline aygart

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #120 on: January 10, 2018, 09:38:29 PM »
True cause im in Yeshiva however there are plenty of working people that are makpid and make a special effort to always Daven with a minyan
For some it can be done easily, some it needs suicidal effort and some it just doesn't work. Those are the facts.
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline shiframeir

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #121 on: January 10, 2018, 09:40:23 PM »
I consider myself an orthodox jewish man (30s). i wear tzitzis, go to minyan on shabbos/yom tov (with a sefer so i dont get bored if there isnt inspirational group prayer/singing), learn every day and care about learning/torah/mitzvos, keep shabbos and kashrus generally lechumra (though cholov stam/eat OU and rabbanut mehadrin).

I rarely make it to minyan during the week. i daven parts of shacharis every morning REALLY quickly (im talking 5 minutes, birchas hatora, Baruch sheamar, ashrei, yishtabach, shma shmona esrei, aleinu as tefillin come off). i used to daven mincha with a minyan at work when that was easy, but i'd have to switch elevators to go now so i dont and usually just dont say it :o. My issue is while i love Hashem and mitzvos etc, i dont really connect with the established prayer service, especially the start your engines ashkenaz silent speed read til the chazan says his line and then onto the next (and i just dont have time for more during the week with a family and a demanding job/people who need my attention). i have random heartfelt prayers at least once a week on average while listening/playing music/learning mussar/meditating. but when it comes to most classic davening, my only kavana is modim/sim shalom/occasionally magen avrohom (i know that's key but still). occasionally think of a sick friend/family member, or daven for someone's parnasah.  I have met several people like me, we are a bit to "rational" to get into this whole pray to god for every meal/god changes things just if u ask for it/god craves our prayers.

I wouldnt call myself orthoprax (u are welcome to), but something else. I care/love hashem very much, though obviously dont "fear" him too much bc i think of him like a really chill nice god. I dont think he sweats me skipping out on the rabbinically ordained prayer service/need for attending minyanim, esp if it means i will help my wife/kids/family/friends even a tiny bit more.

my kids are amazing and crazy holy. my son learns so much better than i ever did (im talking reading a whole perek with perfect translation in a hebrew chumash to me with real love and noting questions and answers of rashi with a big smile). i bring my son to shul every shabbos. unfortunately im definitely rubbing off on him (or hes just spoiled) and he obviously doesnt have the same fervor for davening that he has for learning. but i dont know what else i can do. 

My point is @wayfe, your husband is definitely not alone, and if he is a good husband and father and friend, and a grateful human being towards god and observer of his mitzvos, the fact that he doesnt tune into "avodah" doesnt make him bad, he may just be more of a torah or avodah jew.

Offline shiframeir

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #122 on: January 10, 2018, 09:40:48 PM »
i think thats the first time i called myself a man...

Offline a good yeshiva bachur

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #123 on: January 10, 2018, 09:45:07 PM »
I consider myself an orthodox jewish man (30s). i wear tzitzis, go to minyan on shabbos/yom tov (with a sefer so i dont get bored if there isnt inspirational group prayer/singing), learn every day and care about learning/torah/mitzvos, keep shabbos and kashrus generally lechumra (though cholov stam/eat OU and rabbanut mehadrin).

I rarely make it to minyan during the week. i daven parts of shacharis every morning REALLY quickly (im talking 5 minutes, birchas hatora, Baruch sheamar, ashrei, yishtabach, shma shmona esrei, aleinu as tefillin come off). i used to daven mincha with a minyan at work when that was easy, but i'd have to switch elevators to go now so i dont and usually just dont say it :o. My issue is while i love Hashem and mitzvos etc, i dont really connect with the established prayer service, especially the start your engines ashkenaz silent speed read til the chazan says his line and then onto the next (and i just dont have time for more during the week with a family and a demanding job/people who need my attention). i have random heartfelt prayers at least once a week on average while listening/playing music/learning mussar/meditating. but when it comes to most classic davening, my only kavana is modim/sim shalom/occasionally magen avrohom (i know that's key but still). occasionally think of a sick friend/family member, or daven for someone's parnasah.  I have met several people like me, we are a bit to "rational" to get into this whole pray to god for every meal/god changes things just if u ask for it/god craves our prayers.

I wouldnt call myself orthoprax (u are welcome to), but something else. I care/love hashem very much, though obviously dont "fear" him too much bc i think of him like a really chill nice god. I dont think he sweats me skipping out on the rabbinically ordained prayer service/need for attending minyanim, esp if it means i will help my wife/kids/family/friends even a tiny bit more.

my kids are amazing and crazy holy. my son learns so much better than i ever did (im talking reading a whole perek with perfect translation in a hebrew chumash to me with real love and noting questions and answers of rashi with a big smile). i bring my son to shul every shabbos. unfortunately im definitely rubbing off on him (or hes just spoiled) and he obviously doesnt have the same fervor for davening that he has for learning. but i dont know what else i can do. 

My point is @wayfe, your husband is definitely not alone, and if he is a good husband and father and friend, and a grateful human being towards god and observer of his mitzvos, the fact that he doesnt tune into "avodah" doesnt make him bad, he may just be more of a torah or avodah jew.

Davening is a דאורייתא



When and how is a מחלוקת

Offline HBS

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #124 on: January 10, 2018, 09:46:38 PM »
Davening is a דאורייתא



When and how is a מחלוקת
He means btzibbur, formal davening. דארייתא is tefilla not content

Offline Work-for-ur-muny

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #125 on: January 10, 2018, 09:46:44 PM »
i think thats the first time i called myself a man...
I always thought you're a כוי...
At least that's what your username says...  ;D

Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #126 on: January 10, 2018, 09:46:56 PM »
I consider myself an orthodox jewish man (30s). i wear tzitzis, go to minyan on shabbos/yom tov (with a sefer so i dont get bored if there isnt inspirational group prayer/singing), learn every day and care about learning/torah/mitzvos, keep shabbos and kashrus generally lechumra (though cholov stam/eat OU and rabbanut mehadrin).

I rarely make it to minyan during the week. i daven parts of shacharis every morning REALLY quickly (im talking 5 minutes, birchas hatora, Baruch sheamar, ashrei, yishtabach, shma shmona esrei, aleinu as tefillin come off). i used to daven mincha with a minyan at work when that was easy, but i'd have to switch elevators to go now so i dont and usually just dont say it :o. My issue is while i love Hashem and mitzvos etc, i dont really connect with the established prayer service, especially the start your engines ashkenaz silent speed read til the chazan says his line and then onto the next (and i just dont have time for more during the week with a family and a demanding job/people who need my attention). i have random heartfelt prayers at least once a week on average while listening/playing music/learning mussar/meditating. but when it comes to most classic davening, my only kavana is modim/sim shalom/occasionally magen avrohom (i know that's key but still). occasionally think of a sick friend/family member, or daven for someone's parnasah.  I have met several people like me, we are a bit to "rational" to get into this whole pray to god for every meal/god changes things just if u ask for it/god craves our prayers.

I wouldnt call myself orthoprax (u are welcome to), but something else. I care/love hashem very much, though obviously dont "fear" him too much bc i think of him like a really chill nice god. I dont think he sweats me skipping out on the rabbinically ordained prayer service/need for attending minyanim, esp if it means i will help my wife/kids/family/friends even a tiny bit more.

my kids are amazing and crazy holy. my son learns so much better than i ever did (im talking reading a whole perek with perfect translation in a hebrew chumash to me with real love and noting questions and answers of rashi with a big smile). i bring my son to shul every shabbos. unfortunately im definitely rubbing off on him (or hes just spoiled) and he obviously doesnt have the same fervor for davening that he has for learning. but i dont know what else i can do. 

My point is @wayfe, your husband is definitely not alone, and if he is a good husband and father and friend, and a grateful human being towards god and observer of his mitzvos, the fact that he doesnt tune into "avodah" doesnt make him bad, he may just be more of a torah or avodah jew.

Wow. Thanks for sharing.

I will take your words to heart.
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
— Richard Feynman

Offline a good yeshiva bachur

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #127 on: January 10, 2018, 09:48:32 PM »
Wow. Thanks for sharing.

I will take your words to heart.

That doesn’t make him right

Offline Dan

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #128 on: January 10, 2018, 09:50:05 PM »
and there was an ‘anonymous’ option
Isn't that called a new account?
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline a good yeshiva bachur

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #129 on: January 10, 2018, 09:51:41 PM »
Isn't that called a new account?
Didn’t think that would be encouraged...

Offline Dan

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #130 on: January 10, 2018, 09:52:44 PM »
Didn’t think that would be encouraged...
It's not in general, but I'm not going to stop someone that feels the need for one.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline elit

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #131 on: January 10, 2018, 09:53:59 PM »


I consider myself an orthodox jewish man (30s). i wear tzitzis, go to minyan on shabbos/yom tov (with a sefer so i dont get bored if there isnt inspirational group prayer/singing), learn every day and care about mitzvos
at first i couldnt understand how this first part of  your statement reconciles with everything else you are saying.

Quote
.  I have met several people like me, we are a bit to "rational" to get into this whole pray to god for every meal/god changes things just if u ask for it/god craves our prayers.

 bc i think of him like a really chill nice god. I dont think he sweats me skipping out....
then I see lines like these and it makes some sense I just dont know where you picked up these perceptions of God and tefillah....

Offline Eliyohu

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #132 on: January 10, 2018, 09:54:16 PM »
Also need to take into consideration those whose job does not allow for davening mincha with a minyan
Isn't that the what "(mostly)" includes?

Offline HBS

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #133 on: January 10, 2018, 09:54:39 PM »
I think a few posters have collectively explained the issue.
To have a connection to tefilla, meaningful, at least, you need a few ingredients. You need to understand what you are saying (and I mean every word), otherwise, you will skip everything. You need to stop and think about what you are saying or you won't connect, even when you do understand. You need to believe that Hashem wants to hear what you are saying.
The first thing can, in theory, be rectified by iyun tefilla. The second, is harder. You need a lot of preparation. You need to shut off your phone  and clear your mind. Third takes a lot of mussar and hashkafa learning.
But it's doable for everyone, they just need to want to do it. They need to want it for themselves. Not for their wife, not for their kids. It can't be forced.

I think the problem is that we are in a world if constant distraction and instant results. That makes it harder. That is why tefillah is an avodah. Especially true today.

Offline davidrotts63

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #134 on: January 10, 2018, 09:54:40 PM »
It's not in general, but I'm not going to stop someone that feels the need for one.
See the forum rules...
(Quit) pulling out the flowers, and watering the weeds. -Peter Lynch

Offline HBS

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #135 on: January 10, 2018, 09:55:17 PM »
at first i couldnt understand how this first part of  your statement reconciles with everything else you are saying.
then I see lines like these and it makes some sense I just dont know where you picked up these perceptions of God and tefillah....
Hollywood, perhaps.

Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #136 on: January 10, 2018, 10:01:13 PM »
That doesn’t make him right

This entire thread has very little to do with being right or wrong.

What it does for me is show me that if I can respect @shiframeir as good person, then I should be able to do so for my own husband.
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
— Richard Feynman

Offline rs242

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Do you Daven?
« Reply #137 on: January 10, 2018, 10:04:41 PM »
This entire thread has very little to do with being right or wrong.

What it does for me is show me that if I can respect @shiframeir as good person, then I should be able to do so for my own husband.
You need to find other ways to respect him (the way he treats you or the kids etc...). Once your kids start to get older he will realize on his own and take responsibility. (I don’t feel comfortable talking like I am some maven on life, but just sharing from past experience).

Offline elit

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #138 on: January 10, 2018, 10:06:05 PM »
I should qualify that it no way am I coming from a holier than though attitude, my davening leaves a whole lot to be desired but I just don't understand how one can say on an intellectual level  I'm a completely believing jew in Torah and mesorah but davening is just not for me so, maybe one day...

Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #139 on: January 10, 2018, 10:07:17 PM »
I think a few posters have collectively explained the issue.
To have a connection to tefilla, meaningful, at least, you need a few ingredients. You need to understand what you are saying (and I mean every word), otherwise, you will skip everything. You need to stop and think about what you are saying or you won't connect, even when you do understand. You need to believe that Hashem wants to hear what you are saying.
The first thing can, in theory, be rectified by iyun tefilla. The second, is harder. You need a lot of preparation. You need to shut off your phone  and clear your mind. Third takes a lot of mussar and hashkafa learning.
But it's doable for everyone, they just need to want to do it. They need to want it for themselves. Not for their wife, not for their kids. It can't be forced.

I think the problem is that we are in a world if constant distraction and instant results. That makes it harder. That is why tefillah is an avodah. Especially true today.

I think there is a fourth aspect, which is desperation. And that sometimes trumps all the points you mentioned.
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
— Richard Feynman