Wow what a thread. As others have mentioned, the only way you will have any influence on your husband is through positive reinforcement, and genuine respect. Find some things you can genuinely respect him for in any area, not necessarily religious. His respect for you and consequently your influence on him will grow immensely.
With all due respect there may be another aspect here. The fact that you are almost able to contemplate the idea of being “true to yourselves” and living a secular lifestyle leaves me to wonder about the extent of your feelings and level of connection to God and religion in general and how they are expressed in your home. Is it something that has a place in everyday conversation in your life?
It is a mans mitzvah to davening, but genuine davening can’t take place in a vacuum. If there is no religious vitality in the home, and the extent of the connection to the frum lifestyle is superficial and largely revolves around the cost of the frum lifestyle etc. then the external expression of that is going to be apathy and disinterest in davening etc.
If there is room for you to grow personally in this area it will go farther than anything you could possibly say to your husband to influence him. Learning a few minutes a day from a book that speaks to you, attending a meaningful shiur/ lecture on a somewhat regular basis etc. and giving expression to your connection to spirituality in everyday life will reap dividends.
In the meantime, if you have a husband who cares about you, is a devoted father, and is there together with you to deal with life’s challenges, you have much to be grateful for.....