Poll

Are you frum and do you daven daily?

I'm frum and I (mostly) daven with a minyan 3x a day
94 (60.6%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) daven without a minyan 3x a day
19 (12.3%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) daven daily
23 (14.8%)
I'm frum and I (mostly) don't daven every day
13 (8.4%)
I'm not frum and I (mostly) daven daily
2 (1.3%)
I'm not frum and I (mostly) don't daven daily
4 (2.6%)

Total Members Voted: 155

Author Topic: Do you Daven?  (Read 59794 times)

Offline mgarfin

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #240 on: January 11, 2018, 12:18:00 PM »
just a thought about this, for a sec
As brought up earlier alot of the not going to minyan is excuses
i used to work out of town, closest minyan was 10 min drive and never made the effort as i assumed i was "patur" due to work obligations
Then when a colleague went i realized it was all just excuses and started going.....

We need a thread about davening on vacations
Poll
Do you only Vacation where you can daven with a minyan
Do you attempt to daven more than one tefila with a minyan
Do you daven at all on vacation

We are mixing 3 very different thing in this discussion. They have very different underlying reasoning.

1. Do we daven
2. Do we go to shul/minyan (shabbos/weekday 1 or 3x)
3. If we daven in shul or at home/work are we just saying words or is there a connection

BTW I know more than 1 person that comes to shul on weekday shachris and Shabbos x 3 that don't daven a word.

Offline shiframeir

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #241 on: January 11, 2018, 12:24:12 PM »
Freudian slip?

Davening is called תפילה which is also from the same שרש as התופל כלי חרס, meaning to connect. If anything, connections seem to be of utmost importance in this generation than ever before. We are constantly connected with our cell phones, whatsapp, etc. With a little bit emphasis on the importance of connection, and the importance of who one connects to, major inroads can be made in regards to Davening and yiddishkeit.
holy wood was intentional, freud was a menuvel too btw :).
The problem for me and others of my ilk, is saying the same thing 3 times a day in a group minyan doesn't really bring connection, though it may bring relationship. for a bit as i stopped going to minyan, i tried davening alone in the beis medresh, and that worked for maybe a weak, but then i just couldnt shlep myself out to daven alone at shul when i could daven at home. and then i started cutting down on all the words.

i daven with minyan much more on vacation (for what thats worth) more out of guilt than anything. obviously depends on where vacation is.

Online ExGingi

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #242 on: January 11, 2018, 12:24:18 PM »
There was a guy in my shul growing up who would daven in english, and loud.

"Holy Holy Holy is the Lord and his Legions THE WHOLE WORLD is filled with his glory."

Not a very stable dude. You may know him if you watched the Howard Stern show in the late 90s.
You mean Elliott Offen.

He used to come to 770 for many years until he was kicked out (and possibly assaulted) by a certain individual. Up until then he wouldn't appear in 770 or in front of 770 they way he appears elsewhere (I was once in judge Dean's courtroom, and he showed up dressed like... The entire courtroom was holding their giggles until he walked out. Judge Dear allowed him to approach the bench and talk to him asap (and had to keep a serious demeanor throughout)). Since he was kicked out of 770 (and assaulted IINM) he (probably as revenge) occasionally jogs up and down Kingston Avenue and in front of 770 dressed like he does elsewhere.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2018, 12:53:39 PM by ExGingi »
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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #243 on: January 11, 2018, 12:27:30 PM »
holy wood was intentional, freud was a menuvel too btw :).
The problem for me and others of my ilk, is saying the same thing 3 times a day in a group minyan doesn't really bring connection, though it may bring relationship. for a bit as i stopped going to minyan, i tried davening alone in the beis medresh, and that worked for maybe a weak, but then i just couldnt shlep myself out to daven alone at shul when i could daven at home. and then i started cutting down on all the words.

i daven with minyan much more on vacation (for what thats worth) more out of guilt than anything. obviously depends on where vacation is.
Can't escape those slips.   ;)

Menuvel or not (who am I to say), Freud was visited by the Rebbe Rashab who was searching to cure a neurological issue.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
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Offline Dawie

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #244 on: January 11, 2018, 12:34:31 PM »

BTW I know more than 1 person that comes to shul on weekday shachris and Shabbos x 3 that don't daven a word.
just to get out of the house?
to show the kids?

Offline Z56

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #245 on: January 11, 2018, 12:52:19 PM »
Mods, I hope this allowed.

So I'm part of the small percentage of female DDF'ers and I'd like to pose a poll to you majority holders.

Are you frum and do you daven daily?

The reason I'm asking is that my husband (we're a BY type Chassidish family from BP and pretty much fits in with the DDF male demographic) does not and when I finally reached out for support from a mentor I was told I am in very, very good company.

whats a BY type ?
“I have nothing in common with lazy people who blame others for their lack of success. Great things come from hard work

Offline Dawie

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #246 on: January 11, 2018, 01:14:08 PM »

Offline Shauly101

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #247 on: January 11, 2018, 01:15:17 PM »
im not going to open a new thread but you opened a can of worms here.

how do you define ''FRUM''?? keeping all 613 commandments, dressing tznius (on the street vs at home...), ultra orthodox?? what happens (and every human being has a few things) when you don't keep or you are neglect about a few of them??

Online ExGingi

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #248 on: January 11, 2018, 01:17:50 PM »
im not going to open a new thread but you opened a can of worms here.

how do you define ''FRUM''?? keeping all 613 commandments, dressing tznius (on the street vs at home...), ultra orthodox?? what happens (and every human being has a few things) when you don't keep or you are neglect about a few of them??
Start by picking one of these two:

Tell me you don’t mean this
Are you really going to make Tim search for a galach?
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
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Offline coralsnake

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #249 on: January 11, 2018, 01:28:42 PM »
"Here at DansDeals we don’t do buses." -Dan

Offline Shauly101

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #250 on: January 11, 2018, 01:29:31 PM »
Start by picking one of these two:

i  mean whom do you consider as ''a real Jew'' (not born a Jew)

because everyone has something they don't do, in this scenario praying.

Offline stbaum

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #251 on: January 11, 2018, 01:46:21 PM »
In all seriousness though how many people go to shul 3* a day for "social reasons"? Is talking in shul worse then not showing up at all?

look out for a great song coming out in the next 2-3 weeks that puts a playful spin on this... #shmueliungar  ;D #unapologeticplug
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Online ExGingi

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #252 on: January 11, 2018, 01:53:03 PM »
i  mean whom do you consider as ''a real Jew'' (not born a Jew)

because everyone has something they don't do, in this scenario praying.
But if they're frum based on this definition they are likely preying.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
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Offline mgarfin

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #253 on: January 11, 2018, 01:55:02 PM »
just to get out of the house?
to show the kids?

Some social reasons and/or not aware of there situation.
Not going to shul is admitting it.

Offline HBS

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #254 on: January 11, 2018, 02:46:47 PM »


to the posters who daven 3x a day with a minyan--

Where do you live?
Where do you work?
How far of a commute?
what time do you get up?

Lakewood
Brooklyn, mostly. 1.5 hr commute avg.
6am


Offline BP16

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #255 on: January 11, 2018, 02:52:29 PM »
Mods, I hope this allowed.

So I'm part of the small percentage of female DDF'ers and I'd like to pose a poll to you majority holders.

Are you frum and do you daven daily?

The reason I'm asking is that my husband (we're a BY type Chassidish family from BP and pretty much fits in with the DDF male demographic) does not and when I finally reached out for support from a mentor I was told I am in very, very good company.
Just saw this thread.
I may be the same BY type as you (same description) but no people are the same, I do davin with minyan 3x a day! on vacation I do try my best to find a minyan but if not there are enough corners to davin in. I BH cant remember when I ever missed a tefiliah.
But #1 do I have in mind every word or any word that I davin? probably not! but does that mean I shouldn't davin? I could say the same thing about kissing the Mezuzah or shaking the Luluv that I dont have in mind when doing them, does that mean I shouldn't? The reason I do them is because Hashem wants I should.

Now when someone doesnt davin at all there most be something more then just not daving! daving without minyan mincha/mariv shouldnt take more then 10 min so it shouldn't be a time issue, I cant give any advice as I am not a professional.
But I know one thing lots of people dont davin or learn because they just cant read and I know the Schools? Yeshivahs put lots of work in Kreah.

You just keep on daving. Hatzlachah
 

Offline BP16

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #256 on: January 11, 2018, 02:54:51 PM »
to the posters who daven 3x a day with a minyan--

Where do you live?
Where do you work?
How far of a commute?
what time do you get up?
BP BP so commute and no difference when I get as you could always find a minyan

Offline HBS

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #257 on: January 11, 2018, 02:56:52 PM »


The problem for me and others of my ilk, is saying the same thing 3 times a day in a group minyan doesn't really bring connection, though it may bring relationship. for a bit as i stopped going to minyan, i tried davening alone in the beis medresh, and that worked for maybe a weak, but then i just couldnt shlep myself out to daven alone at shul when i could daven at home. and then i started cutting down on all the words.

Is it possible that if you would spend more time on iyun tefilla and truly understanding purpose of tefilla, the limud from sources like mabit, rambam, etc. (As if it was a sugya), you'd find more meaning in tefilla as established by the chachomim?

I am talking from a bit of experience.
When I was a fairly young bochur, I didn't have a taam for tefilla. I understood the words mostly, but didn't understand the point. Then I spent time, on advice of my mashgiach in my yeshiva, on learning some of the more hashkafadik sources. It changed tefilla for me.
And i sporadically refresh myself or learn new things on the tipic


Doesn't mean that 8/10 times, or more, I don't run through it. But it does make it more important for me. And it does allow me to try, at least sometimes, to daven with some level of kavanna.

I feel that it's quite important to keep on learning how to do mitzvos properly.

Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #258 on: January 11, 2018, 03:53:53 PM »
Wow what a thread. As others have mentioned, the only way you will have any influence on your husband is through positive reinforcement, and genuine respect. Find some things you can genuinely respect him for in any area, not necessarily religious. His respect for you and consequently your influence on him will grow immensely.

With all due respect there may be another aspect here. The fact that you are almost able to contemplate the idea of being “true to yourselves” and living a secular lifestyle leaves me to wonder about the extent of your feelings and level of connection to God and religion in general and how they are expressed in your home. Is it something that has a place in everyday conversation in your life?

It is a mans mitzvah to davening, but genuine davening can’t take place in a vacuum. If there is no religious vitality in the home, and the extent of the connection to the frum lifestyle is superficial and largely revolves around the cost of the frum lifestyle etc. then the external expression of that is going to be apathy and disinterest in davening etc.

If there is room for you to grow personally in this area it will go farther than anything you could possibly say to your husband to influence him. Learning a few minutes a day from a book that speaks to you, attending a meaningful shiur/ lecture on a somewhat regular basis etc. and giving expression to your connection to spirituality in everyday life will reap dividends.

 In the meantime, if you have a husband who cares about you, is a devoted father, and is there together with you to deal with life’s challenges, you have much to be grateful for.....

@yzj

Please don't misconstrue my words.

I have a very hard time accepting contradictions and duplicity in my life. So when I don't see my husband at least trying or pretending to try to daven, I sometimes feel like it would be easier to just end our commitment to Yiddishkeit and get used to a new lifestyle than to constantly have to grapple with contradictions. This was *not* meant to be taken as a serious consideration of mine.

At this point, I realize that I can't wait for my husband and I have to take control of the life I want for my child. If want ours to be a truly, richly Jewish home- then that is up to me. If my husband wants to contribute- all the better for us!
« Last Edit: January 11, 2018, 04:02:28 PM by wayfe »
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Offline aygart

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Re: Do you Daven?
« Reply #259 on: January 11, 2018, 03:57:04 PM »
us millennials are all well aware of that and other words of chazal to that effect. But life experience and holy wood can have a strong effect on what we internalize from chazal.

And then complain why the "black hats" consider going to movies a bad thing.
Feelings don't care about your facts