Author Topic: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?  (Read 5825 times)

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #105 on: January 12, 2018, 07:55:48 AM »
And I dont think that alone helps them with their own challenges and interpersonal relationships.
Just because you understand a problem doesn't mean you are capable of solving it but it sure does help.

There is all type of help today to save your marriage. Many people need this help. This theory that if you just work at it and everything will work out is not the answer.
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #106 on: January 12, 2018, 07:57:26 AM »
Before talking about how today's kids are whatever think back on your mind what your parents or grandparents thought when you were that age.
"They will find out one day."
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Offline Sport

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #107 on: January 12, 2018, 07:59:31 AM »
Before talking about how today's kids are whatever think back on your mind what your parents or grandparents thought when you were that age.
Agree.
In fact I argue that kids today are more resilient than ever before, after all they were raised by our (inept) generation.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2018, 08:03:15 AM by Sport »

Offline Sport

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #108 on: January 12, 2018, 08:00:34 AM »


Just because you understand a problem doesn't mean you are capable of solving it but it sure does help.

There is all type of help today to save your marriage. Many people need this help. This theory that if you just work at it and everything will work out is not the answer.

Who saying to just work at it?
Yes, there are more resources today than ever before, and thats great.

Offline hvaces42

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #109 on: January 13, 2018, 05:40:44 PM »
Bingo
Also the entitlement
the ME generation
The quick fix generation
The disposable generation.
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Offline joe1234

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #110 on: January 13, 2018, 06:39:50 PM »
Yes and I am just stating understanding the problem is a big help not the answer. Kids today understand more what is going on in the real world than I do.
FTFY :P

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Offline ExGingi

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #112 on: September 13, 2019, 02:15:12 PM »
Is there any age not covered by the 3 groups?
Under 20
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
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Online Yonah

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #113 on: September 13, 2019, 03:02:06 PM »
As usual late to the party. My own $0.03:

1. First of all divorce has become more acceptable so people are not as reluctant to end a bad marriage.
2. I wonder (but have no real evidence to prove it) if kids who change their levels of frumkeit post HS and then change back to where they were has anything to do with it?
3. IMVHO - I think that it's the result of shidduch mishegoss gone to far.

#1 is pretty straightforward, please let me elaborate on #2 and #3:

#2 - imagine this, a young MO boy goes to Yeshiva in Israel, and as a result, he becomes much more religious. Instead of going to college, he spends a few more years in Yeshiva. They find him a shidduch. He gets married and starts a family. But after a few years he grows disdainful of the community he's in. He decides that he doesn't want this particular lifestyle anymore - he still wants to be frum, just go back to his modern roots. (Again, I have no evidence to prove it, short of one or two friends that this happened to - essentially they wanted a different level of frumkeit than their spouse)

#3 - Take what I say with a grain of salt because I don't live in the shidduch world. But from the few friends I have that are within it, I hear that people are so concerned they leave out things that should probably be raised BEFORE you get married. Some examples of stories that I heard:

- A young woman who got divorced from her husband after discovered that he had been hiding that he was taking drugs for a psychotic condition
- A teenager who had a certain medical condition that was manageable by drugs, but better resolved with a surgical procedure. When his parents were told by a doctor that he should have the procedure they refused to do it because they were worried it would mess up both his and his siblings shidduch chances when word got out that he did it.

I realize that there are two isolated incidents, but I can only imagine they come from a place of fear. I also imagine that there is a chain effect that impacts a 'p'gam' on the whole family if one of them has some sort of 'psul' vis-a-vis the shidduch world. Given that, it's also possible, that due to some familial pressure. Someone might endure a bad marriage for a few years until their youngest sibling gets married off so that their divorce won't impact their little brother or sisters shidduch chances.


Offline mercaz1

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #114 on: September 13, 2019, 03:12:59 PM »
both of those stories can easily happen in the non-shidduch as well

Online Yonah

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #115 on: September 13, 2019, 03:24:55 PM »
both of those stories can easily happen in the non-shidduch as well

They most certainly do. Again, I don't have evidence of the magnitude of either. But it would seem to me that more people would be inclined to hide these sort of things in the shidduch world. (I could be very wrong).

While I imagine that in the non-shidduch world people may not be so forthcoming about these same things, but revealing them won't impact your siblings as much as I imagine it would in the shidduch world.