Author Topic: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?  (Read 3214 times)

Offline iAm

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #30 on: January 11, 2018, 01:34:36 PM »
Let me ask a crazy question. Is this so bad? What's more important, staying married or being happy? As Louis CK once said "no good marriage has ever ended in divorce."

No, its not bad at all.

But I'm not sure why there isnt a broader discussion of this in general. I feel like theres discussion ad neausum about a shiddiuch crisis but not about a divorce endemic; and the focus on the former may be causing the latter. The question is if people are being pressured into marriages they should never be in, in the first place.
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Offline Dan

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #31 on: January 11, 2018, 01:34:47 PM »
Do you feel forced to grow a beard? Would you feel forced if you lived in a community that wouldn't accept your children if you "touched" your beard?
No.
Yes.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline Sport

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #32 on: January 11, 2018, 01:35:51 PM »
Let me ask a crazy question. Is this so bad? What's more important, staying married or being happy? As Louis CK once said "no good marriage has ever ended in divorce."
So rephrase the ops question: "why are more people unhappy in their marriage?"

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #33 on: January 11, 2018, 01:38:41 PM »
What's more important, staying married or being happy?
To the community it would be staying married.
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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #34 on: January 11, 2018, 01:39:46 PM »
This is such a loaded question. When you grow up with certain social norms and values driven into you by everyone around you, you come to think of your actions as voluntary, but are they? It's so complex. It's like the scientologists who willingly go in the "hole." If you ask them, they will tell you they are there voluntarily, but it's all brainwashed BS.
SO all societal values are the result of "brainwashing"?

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #35 on: January 11, 2018, 01:40:39 PM »
Let me ask a crazy question. Is this so bad? What's more important, staying married or being happy? As Louis CK once said "no good marriage has ever ended in divorce."
Divorces are actually a good thing when it has to be done. It's sad that there's so many marriages that fall through.
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Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #36 on: January 11, 2018, 01:42:52 PM »
The question is if people are being pressured into marriages they should never be in, in the first place.
I am sure teens are more than capable to make this lifelong decision. Just remember you are not allowed to drink before, during or after the decision.
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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #37 on: January 11, 2018, 01:44:22 PM »
I am sure teens are more than capable to make this lifelong decision. Just remember you are not allowed to drink before, during or after the decision.
Not even a l'chaim? ;)
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Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #38 on: January 11, 2018, 01:46:42 PM »
Not even a l'chaim? ;)
Use grape juice.  :P
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Offline Redbull3

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #39 on: January 11, 2018, 02:00:10 PM »
SO all societal values are the result of "brainwashing"?
If you internalize it to the point where you don't feel like you have a "choice" but to live a certain way then yes, to some extent...

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #40 on: January 11, 2018, 02:17:19 PM »
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline Baruch

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #41 on: January 11, 2018, 02:18:38 PM »
Let me ask a crazy question. Is this so bad? What's more important, staying married or being happy? As Louis CK once said "no good marriage has ever ended in divorce."
What about the children? It may be better for them to have parents married - not so happily.
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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #42 on: January 11, 2018, 02:27:22 PM »
What about the children? It may be better for them to have parents married - not so happily.
Not necessarily, it may be way better off for the kids to grow up with two loving, albeit separated, parents, than to grow up in a house where the parents hate each other.
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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #43 on: January 11, 2018, 02:30:55 PM »
In the past decade, the divorce rate in our community has risen several times over.

This is broadly broken down into 3 groups (in decreasing prevalence)
1- Newly weds. 20s. 0-2.7 years of marriage
2- People who have been married for decades. 50s-60s. children are now teens/out of house
3- Some group in between.

Why is this happening?
Without going into a discussion of whether this is fact or not, our generation is accustomed to quick easy solutions.

For example, how many people do you know that were diagnosed with pre-diabetes or actual type 2 diabetes that will take the effort to make life changes, rather than just use pills?

Marriage requires work!

and despite
Not necessarily, it may be way better off for the kids to grow up with two loving, albeit separated, parents, than to grow up in a house where the parents hate each other.

If indeed the parents put in sincere work and effort, even if not always a peaceful household, it is better than divorced parents.
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Offline Redbull3

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Re: Why is our divorce rate rising drastically?
« Reply #44 on: January 11, 2018, 02:32:45 PM »
Without going into a discussion of whether this is fact or not, our generation is accustomed to quick easy solutions.

For example, how many people do you know that were diagnosed with pre-diabetes or actual type 2 diabetes that will take the effort to make life changes, rather than just use pills?

Marriage requires work!

and despite
If indeed the parents put in sincere work and effort, even if not always a peaceful household, it is better than divorced parents.
Work, what's that grandpa. Signed, millennial