How do U define yourself, what does it mean & how would you like to see your kid

[ExGingi]

1. How do I define myself?
I would label myself as a "not frum, religious Jew".

2. What does that mean to me?
The best way I can explain it in short, is that I don't feel the need to listen to halacha. How do I define "halacha"? In this context it means any halacha that I don't think is included in Torah shebiksav. So I guess another label for me would be "someone who is very similar to the tzedokim".

3. How would I like to see my kids?
I would want them to have a very strong belief in Hashem and in תנ"ך. I would want them to have a close relationship with Hashem. And I think "close relationship" is self explanatory but I'll explain what that means to me. It means that you always keep in mind that there's a God and you daven to Him for anything that you feel you want. It means that you thank Him for any small thing that He gives you. It means thanking Him for preventing any damage whether monetary or physical. It means asking for forgiveness for things that you could have done better and didn't (Kal vechomer to wrong things). I think that those 4 things are the basics of how I would define a close relationship.

If the mods feels that this post isn't appropriate, I fully understand. It's just something I've wanted to get off my chest recently and this thread seemed like the right spot. Although I'm assuming ExGingi wasn't looking for this type of answer. (Especially since the reverse of how I define myself would not give an accurate explanation of how I define "frum").

On the contrary. Your post is most welcome. It was obviously important to you to a great extent. Is your wife on the same page? How does any of this translate into education choices for your children? Do you belong to a community, and if yes, do you feel that your self definition is understood by others?

And since we only want self definition here, we don’t really care how you define frum, as that isn’t how you define yourself. So no need to worry about that part.

[as2]

1. How do I define myself?
I would label myself as a "not frum, religious Jew".

2. What does that mean to me?
The best way I can explain it in short, is that I don't feel the need to listen to halacha. How do I define "halacha"? In this context it means any halacha that I don't think is included in Torah shebiksav. So I guess another label for me would be "someone who is very similar to the tzedokim".

3. How would I like to see my kids?
I would want them to have a very strong belief in Hashem and in תנ"ך. I would want them to have a close relationship with Hashem. And I think "close relationship" is self explanatory but I'll explain what that means to me. It means that you always keep in mind that there's a God and you daven to Him for anything that you feel you want. It means that you thank Him for any small thing that He gives you. It means thanking Him for preventing any damage whether monetary or physical. It means asking for forgiveness for things that you could have done better and didn't (Kal vechomer to wrong things). I think that those 4 things are the basics of how I would define a close relationship.

If the mods feels that this post isn't appropriate, I fully understand. It's just something I've wanted to get off my chest recently and this thread seemed like the right spot. Although I'm assuming ExGingi wasn't looking for this type of answer. (Especially since the reverse of how I define myself would not give an accurate explanation of how I define "frum").

Glad to see this topic intrigued you enough to come out of lurking In a most no judgmental tone, I ask, what makes you value some mitzvos/halachos over others? What makes תורה שבכתב more important to you? I can see why בעל פה may have less importance to one, but what is it that maintains you value of בכתב?

[ExGingi]

Glad to see this topic intrigued you enough to come out of lurking

Or just create a new username in order to be more anonymous. Which IINM @Dan recently indicated he allows for these kinds of topics.

[as2]

Or just create a new username in order to be more anonymous. Which IINM @Dan recently indicated he allows for these kinds of topics.

Good point, didn't think of that.

[ADG]

I define myself as a chosid. A chosid is a giver- from the Hebrew word chessed which means benevolence. A chosid is involved with giving sustenance to the Creator, by awakening jewish pride, jewish values in others. To draw Hashem's essence into Torah and into the world thus making the world a place worthy for Hashem's presence to dwell in His full Glory- in other words being a Giver. To give the Rebbe Nachas, as I am his soldier, his chosid.

As far as my kids, I want to see them do it better then me.

[ExGingi]

You already are one you just don't know it.

From my "kitzur shulcan aruch" of what it means to be a Lubavitcher:



So if a חסיד by definition knows what he's lacking, once he's not lacking, is he a חסיד?

[JoeyShmoe]

From my "kitzur shulcan aruch" of what it means to be a Lubavitcher:



So if a חסיד by definition knows what he's lacking, once he's not lacking, is he a חסיד?

CMIIW but it doesn't say that a חסיד is defined as someone who knows what's lacking. Rather a חסיד is one who recognizes where he stands in ידיעה & לימוד התורה and his situation in קיום המצוות. It also means that if he's lacking he makes sure to fill the gap, but a חסיד doesn't have to be lacking anything.

[ExGingi]

CMIIW but it doesn't say that a חסיד is defined as someone who knows what's lacking. Rather a חסיד is one who recognizes where he stands in ידיעה & לימוד התורה and his situation in קיום המצוות. It also means that if he's lacking he makes sure to fill the gap, but a חסיד doesn't have to be lacking anything.

So are you saying that a חסיד can be a מושלם?

In my lexicon א מושלם איז פאראן נאר איינער.

[Dan]

CMIIW but it doesn't say that a חסיד is defined as someone who knows what's lacking. Rather a חסיד is one who recognizes where he stands in ידיעה & לימוד התורה and his situation in קיום המצוות. It also means that if he's lacking he makes sure to fill the gap, but a חסיד doesn't have to be lacking anything.

Doesn't say he knows if he's lacking, it says he knows what he's lacking.
I'm going to side with EG here.

[JoeyShmoe]

So are you saying that a חסיד can be a מושלם?

In my understanding, yes.

In my lexicon א מושלם איז פאראן נאר איינער.

Then what's your question? Are you asking if Hashem is a חסיד?

Doesn't say he knows if he's lacking, it says he knows what he's lacking.
I'm going to side with EG here.

Correct, but from the way I undertand it, whether he's lacking or not isn't a written as a qualifier, it's an addition to the meaning. The qualifiers are in the first sentence.

[ExGingi]

In my understanding, yes.

So that's why you might label yourself:

So, if I had to label myself, I'd probably consider myself Heimish/Chasidish more toward Chasidish (although I don't really learn Chassidish Sefurim).

But FOR ME (remember, this thread is about self-labeling) it's different.

As a followup to the question of whether a חסיד could be a מושלם, was ר' יוסף בעל עגלה a חסיד (or a מושלם) before he became a בעל עגלה, during that time, or afterwards?

[ExGingi]

Being that this thread was started בהשגחה פרטית on כד טבת, I guess I should have at the very least posted the relevant quote for that day from my "kitzur shulchan aruch"
of what it means to be a Lubavitcher:

[aygart]

From my "kitzur shulcan aruch" of what it means to be a Lubavitcher:



So if a חסיד by definition knows what he's lacking, once he's not lacking, is he a חסיד?

It is a while since the last person was מת בעיטו של נחש

[Dan]

Being that this thread was started בהשגחה פרטית on כד טבת, I guess I should have at the very least posted the relevant quote for that day from my "kitzur shulchan aruch"
of what it means to be a Lubavitcher:

If you're attempting to reach people and/or make a point, why just post the yiddish?

[ExGingi]

It is a while since the last person was מת בעיטו של נחש

So if I understand you correctly, you seem to try to concur with me.

That being said, I don't think the quote is necessarily referring to any עברות. So one can be a בינוני ע״פ תניא, which means that his מחשבה, דיבור ומעשה are 100% ok, yet he might still be lacking. See the story of ר׳ יוסף בעל עגלה I referenced above.

[Definitions]

Is your wife on the same page? How does any of this translate into education choices for your children? Do you belong to a community, and if yes, do you feel that your self definition is understood by others?

Although my post sounds like I have children, I'm actually in my lower twenties and not married. I was just writing how I would want it to be.

That being said, I would want my wife to be on the same page. If I can't find someone like that than maybe I'd consider someone who is modern Orthodox.

Regarding education, as far as I know I don't think a school that fits my needs even exists. I would have to open my own school (and community) which I don't realistically think will happen. So I would rather go up than down and send my kids to a modern Orthodox school.

And I do live with my family in a regular frum community. So is my self definition understood? Yes. Accepted? No.

[Definitions]

Or just create a new username in order to be more anonymous. Which IINM @Dan recently indicated he allows for these kinds of topics.

That's correct I did open an account just for this.

[Tuna Baygel]

Frum

Means I am shomer Torah and mitzvos but look for loopholes in Halacha for convenience

I will try to bring up my kids in a home where being frum and religion is something we are happy to lose for because we understand by doing so there's so much more to gain. An example of the above would be not to eat in a restaurant whose hechsher is questionable or not to go to a mixed beach on vacation because we take religion seriously and have boundaries we don't cross

[Definitions]

Glad to see this topic intrigued you enough to come out of lurking In a most no judgmental tone, I ask, what makes you value some mitzvos/halachos over others? What makes תורה שבכתב more important to you? I can see why בעל פה may have less importance to one, but what is it that maintains you value of בכתב?

I'm understanding your question as, why do I believe in Torah shebiksav. And whatever that reason is, why doesn't it apply to Torah Baal peh.

So I think that the main reason why I believe in תורה שבכתב is because I was raised by parents that believe in it and taught me that. Now why does it stop there and doesn't apply to תורה שבעל פה also? I'm not 100% clear. But I think it's because I see two different lifestyles in each one that don't match with each other. Therefore I chose the one that I feel like was passed through less hands.

I have to think about it a little more and I have to go as it's almost Shabbos by me. I'll try to answer it better at a later time.

[ExGingi]

If you're attempting to reach people and/or make a point, why just post the yiddish?

Thanks for raising my awareness.

Though I wasn't trying to make any specific point, but just felt that I should have at least posted that specific quote in my OP for this thread. Here is a link to this specific one translated into English (with the ability to click on Hebrew button to see it in Yiddish ).

http://www.chabad.org/dailystudy/hayomyom.asp?tdate=1/11/2018

And here's a link to the quote which has been topic of some discussion.

As I stated in my OP, the purpose of this thread is only about SELF-LABELING. Since I consider Hayom Yom to be a "kitzur shulchan aruch" to how I label myself, I welcome anyone to hold my feet to the fire, or challenge me if I seem to be stating anything (not necessarily on DDF), or acting in a way that isn't congruent with any quote from Hayom Yom.