Author Topic: How do U define yourself, what does it mean & how would you like to see your kid  (Read 31439 times)

Offline ExGingi

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I've been thinking of starting this thread for quite a long time.

We see many labels thrown around. Orthodox, frum, BT, FFB, Yeshivish, Chassidish, Lubavitch, Belz, Satmar, etc etc.

I personally detest labels, and try to avoid using them whenever practical, and prefer to use an actual description where possible, or at least a thought provoking statement.

I think it is terrible when we label other people, but anyone can label themselves. But when doing that, what does it mean? I think one of the tests is to ask how one would like to see their kids grow up. Are Levushim, Minhagim, etc. part of your definition?

Please share YOUR OWN label, what it means in your own eyes, and how you would cast that on your kids (assuming you would want to see the same, or what you would actually like to see).

Please try to use ONLY positive language, wherever possible. And please no disparaging remarks about others, or dispute the validity of their definitions. There are no right or wrong answers, it's purely about what one's OWN label is and what it means to THEMSELVES.

I will begin with how I label myself when pushed hard enough for one:

"I strive to be a Lubavitcher." (That entire sentence is my own label for myself, and I hope it will always be).

The shortest way to say what it means to me, is that I see only this as the kitzur shulchan aruch of what it takes to be a Lubavitcher. I also think that considering every word of the Rebbe an integral true part of Torah is a requirement.

Lastly, when it comes to how I would like to see my kids grow up, I would want my kids to choose their own path, and not do anything just because I do it. I want them to live their lives by conscious choice (and while I hope they make the same choices I made, or even better ones, it is most important to me that it will all be conscious choices).
« Last Edit: January 11, 2018, 06:14:37 PM by ExGingi »
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline Redbull3

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Great thread. I just want my kids* to be happy. As a disclaimer I don't have kids yet. I need to think more about the first part.

Offline ExGingi

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Great thread. I just want my kids* to be happy. As a disclaimer I don't have kids yet. I need to think more about the first part.
Indeed. This is meant to be really thought provoking (which is why the kids question is there). You might have rushed to answer that one too fast. But please come back after you've thought the entire question through and post your thoughts.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline davidrotts63

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I've been thinking of starting this thread for quite a long time.

We see many labels thrown around. Orthodox, frum, Yeshivish, Chassidish, Lubavitch, Belz, Satmar, etc etc.

I personally detest labels, and try to avoid using them whenever practical, and prefer to use an actual description where possible, or at least a thought provoking statement.

I think it is terrible when we label other people, but anyone can label themselves. But when doing that, what does it mean? I think one of the tests is to ask how one would like to see their kids grow up. Are Levushim, Minhagim, etc. part of your definition?

Please share YOUR OWN label, what it means in your own eyes, and how you would cast that on your kids (assuming you would want to see the same, or what you would actually like to see).

Please try to use ONLY positive language, wherever possible. And please no disparaging remarks about others. This is purely about what one's OWN label means to THEMSELVES.

I will begin with how I label myself when pushed hard enough for one:

"I strive to be a Lubavitcher." (That entire sentence is my own label for myself, and I hope it will always be).

The shortest way to say what it means to me, is that I see only this as the kitzur shulchan aruch of what it takes to be a Lubavitcher. I also think that considering every word of the Rebbe an integral true part of Torah is a requirement.

Lastly, when it comes to how I would like to see my kids grow up, I would want my kids to choose their own path, and not do anything just because I do it. I want them to live their lives by conscious choice (and while I hope they make the same choices I made, or even better ones, it is most important to me that it will all be conscious choices).
Myself: retarded
My kids: not
(Quit) pulling out the flowers, and watering the weeds. -Peter Lynch

Offline mmgfarb

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Myself: retarded
My kids: not
I don't think you have any understanding at all  of what ExGingi was trying to do with this thread.
"JS [is] a fetid cesspool of unvarnished linguistic manure, with lots of useless drivel and post-padding." -Moishebatchy

Offline ExGingi

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Myself: retarded
My kids: not
The reason I put this in GD rather than JS is because I would like this to be differentiated from other “self definition” threads and get complete, well thought through responses.

Please answer all parts of the question honestly, including what your self definition means to you.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline sky121

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Though I personally don't like labels myself. There are cons to growing up without one. I'm not saying it's worth sticking a label to yourself just to avoid those negative consequence but I do believe it does come with some negatives.
"Not all who wander are lost"

Online aygart

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"I strive to be a Lubavitcher." (That entire sentence is my own label for myself, and I hope it will always be).

You already are one you just don't know it.
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline coralsnake

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Pretty sure there's already a thread like this.
"Here at DansDeals we don’t do buses." -Dan

Offline wayfe

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I consider myself Chasiddish and I wish R' Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev was still alive as he's got my vote.

My wish for my children is to grow up and find for themselves their own corner of the Chassidish world based on the philosophy/mindset that jibes with their own
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
— Richard Feynman

Offline ExGingi

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You already are one you just don't know it.
I would respond to your comment ,if not for your violation of the rules I set in the OP. I will therefore ask mods to delete your post as well as others that don't stick to the rules set forth in the OP.

This is purely about what one's OWN label means to THEMSELVES.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline TimT

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I personally detest labels, and try to avoid using them whenever practical

I think it is terrible when we label other people,
Why is that a bad thing ? If someone chooses to be part of a specific community, all the power to him.

Offline ExGingi

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I consider myself Chasiddish and I wish R' Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev was still alive as he's got my vote.

My wish for my children is to grow up and find for themselves their own corner of the Chassidish world based on the philosophy/mindset that jibes with their own
Thank you for your post. Do you have a more granular definition of Chassidish? Any specific sect?

And PLEASE don't leave out the important question: what does your own label mean for you? Is it about dress code, Minhagim, participating in certain activities, schooling, etc?
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline ExGingi

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Why is that a bad thing ? If someone chooses to be part of a specific community, all the power to him.
I have no problem with people making their own choices, on the contrary. But when people use labels, it shuts down meaningful thought about substance. Just recently people were inquiring about what the label "frum" means.  ;)

I don't care what anyone thinks about the substance of a label they use for others (and I honestly don't think it has any meaning). But I am very curious as to what people's OWN label means to THEMSELVES, and I think it's actually a healthy exercise in introspection.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline TimT

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But when people use labels, it shuts down meaningful thought about substance.
I’m having trouble understanding this

Offline JoeyShmoe

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I grew up Heimish, my Father was real Litvish but sent his boys to Chasidish schools (he put on a Shtreimel a couple of years ago at my Brother's wedding, more of a peer pressure/social thing than anything else). As a teenager I went to a Hungarian Yeshiva with a Rebbe (the type that became Chassidish after the war), which was also the Rosh Yeshiva and I consider myself a Talmid/Chusid there. So, if I had to label myself, I'd probably consider myself Heimish/Chasidish more toward Chasidish (although I don't really learn Chassidish Sefurim).

I would like my kids to grow up and find themselves a Moreh Derech (not necessarily the same as mine), regardless of the label, as long as they have a Talmid Chuchem to follow and be in touch with. My kids know that I don't do anything without asking my Rebbe first, that I have the utmost respect for my Rebbe and that I'll do whatever he tells me in a heartbeat. I would like for them to have someone like that too
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Offline sky121

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I grew up Heimish, my Father was real Litvish but sent his boys to Chasidish schools (he put on a Shtreimel a couple of years ago at my Brother's wedding, more of a peer pressure/social thing than anything else). As a teenager I went to a Hungarian Yeshiva with a Rebbe (the type that became Chassidish after the war), which was also the Rosh Yeshiva and I consider myself a Talmid/Chusid there. So, if I had to label myself, I'd probably consider myself Heimish/Chasidish more toward Chasidish (although I don't really learn Chassidish Sefurim).

I would like my kids to grow up and find themselves a Moreh Derech (not necessarily the same as mine), regardless of the label, as long as they have a Talmid Chuchem to follow and be in touch with. My kids know that I don't do anything without asking my Rebbe first, that I have the utmost respect for my Rebbe and that I'll do whatever he tells me in a heartbeat. I would like for them to have someone like that too
Just a side note.. Sometimes I don't know if 'not doing anything without asking my Rebbe'  was really the way Hashem intended us to be. Like somehow it inhibits personal growth.
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline wayfe

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Thank you for your post. Do you have a more granular definition of Chassidish? Any specific sect?

And PLEASE don't leave out the important question: what does your own label mean for you? Is it about dress code, Minhagim, participating in certain activities, schooling, etc?

I don't belong to any specific sect because I don't really I identify with my father's sect and my husband isn't really connected to his sect.

As a teenager I found Chabad philosophy online and it really spoke to me. I don't consider myself Chabad, because I don't belong or participate in the Chabad community events.

My definition of Chassidish means ascribing to the philosophy set forth by the Ba'al Shem Tov and (ideally) finding a Rebbe to guide you.

My label defines my philosophy and gives direction to achieving my goal/mission in life.
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
— Richard Feynman

Offline ExGingi

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Just a side note.. Sometimes I don't know if 'not doing anything without asking my Rebbe'  was really the way Hashem intended us to be. Like somehow it inhibits personal growth.
Thread rule violation.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline sky121

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Thread rule violation.
Just went back to read them. I wasn't putting it down. It was just a thought. But that's ok. We can carry on.

"Not all who wander are lost"