Dating in the jewish world while disabled

[Dan]

Does G-d test us at times (non-PC)?

Of course. But we're not allowed to put ourselves in that situation willingly.

[cmey]

I look at it differently. I true test of ones faith is when you overcome these situations. Trying to constantly shield someone IMHO does a disservice.

Some of the greatest sages in our history succumbed/ would have succumbed . The Gemara is brutally honest about even our greatest sages, one of whom told his disciples never to allow him to be secluded with his own daughter in law even for a short time, to demonstrate to his disciples that even the greatest faith will not shield one from temptation. We are simply not wired that way. We believe that by distancing ourselves from temptation we merit Divine help when we do end up in a situation of temptation. Our sages say that King David was not able to overcome his temptation when it came to Bas Sheba (Bathsheba) because he did not merit the Divine assistance he needed to overcome his temptation due to events prior to the test he was now facing....

[gingyguy]

Does G-d test us at times (non-PC)?

G-d tests us . we dont test ourselves

[ChaimMoskowitz]

Of course. But we're not allowed to put ourselves in that situation willingly.

Some of the greatest sages in our history succumbed/ would have succumbed . The Gemara is brutally honest about even our greatest sages, one of whom told his disciples never to allow him to be secluded with his own daughter in law even for a short time, to demonstrate to his disciples that even the greatest faith will not shield one from temptation. We are simply not wired that way. We believe that by distancing ourselves from temptation we merit Divine help when we do end up in a situation of temptation. Our sages say that King David was not able to overcome his temptation when it came to Bas Sheba (Bathsheba) because he did not merit the Divine assistance he needed to overcome his temptation due to events prior to the test he was now facing....

Thanks.

[Dan]

Thanks.

May all sound crazy, but would #MeToo be a thing if everyone avoided said situations?

[ChaimMoskowitz]

G-d tests us . we dont test ourselves

I don't look at dating as a test. As far temptation goes I would think the internet would be a big one. Way bigger than dating IMHO.

[Dan]

I don't look at dating as a test. As far temptation goes I would think the internet would be a big one. Way bigger than dating IMHO.

I dated girls, but they were pre-vetted and it was a given that it was to establish whether we wanted to marry, not to fool around.

[gingyguy]

May all sound crazy, but would #MeToo be a thing if everyone avoided said situations?

didnt mayim bialik get into big trouble for just implying that?
https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/mayim-bialik-defends-sexual-harassment-comments-w509185

[gingyguy]

I don't look at dating as a test. As far temptation goes I would think the internet would be a big one. Way bigger than dating IMHO.

youre right about that!

[ChaimMoskowitz]

May all sound crazy...

I will agree with you.

[Sport]

I look at it differently. A true test of ones faith is when you overcome these situations. Trying to constantly shield someone IMHO does a disservice.

I Don't think g-d needs out help testing our faith, theres enough challanges without us looking for them.

[Dan]

didnt mayim bialik get into big trouble for just implying that?
https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/mayim-bialik-defends-sexual-harassment-comments-w509185

It's a PC world out there.

[Dan]

I will agree with you.

[davidrotts63]

Sin doesn't always work like that. That's why we don't put ourselves into situations that could lead to it.

I agree that there ought to be a middle ground. But it's not a simple matter.

Judaism isn't about purposely testing one's faith. In fact most of our practices these days are specifically designed to avoid those situations. That's why I don't hold my wife's hand for 2 weeks out of every month...

Of course. But we're not allowed to put ourselves in that situation willingly.

G-d tests us . we dont test ourselves

+1
(need to switch to browser to like all these now:))

[chevron]

'This is silly. Any one thats not married at my age, will have one night stands if they so desire.. . I can tell you from experience, its not like the movie "up in the air" but its really easy to hook up if one so desires.. I'm not into one night stands but plenty are and this was where the shiduch system failed them.

I have said time and again, I wont date conventionally. I am not a circus freak.

I met a guy that dated 300 women. Thats not for me

[gingyguy]

'This is silly. Any one thats not married at my age, will have one night stands if they so desire.. . I can tell you from experience, its not like the movie "up in the air" but its really easy to hook up if one so desires.. I'm not into one night stands but plenty are and this was where the shiduch system failed them.

I have said time and again, I wont date conventionally. I am not a circus freak.

I met a guy that dated 300 women. Thats not for me

the shidduch system failed them or yiddishkeit failed them?

[sky121]

May all sound crazy, but would #MeToo be a thing if everyone avoided said situations?

Could people help avoid certain scenarios if they set themselves boundries? Definitely. But I in no way believe that would fix most of the #metoo problems.  These problems have always been around. Even back in the day when men and women were a lot more conservative, dressed more modest, and were more apt to have boundries between the opposite sex that we don't have today. 

[chevron]

the shidduch system failed them or yiddishkeit failed them?

Judaism is a religion, a belief system, an identity.

It also is a way of life, practices etc but that is widely different.  The system didnt fail me And I didn't fail the system in terms of Judaism.

My belief system and practices may be called to doubt, but this is my journey and vastly more challenging than others. Most don't have to examine uncomfortable questions about Judaism, identity, relationship with god.

But yes, the shiduch system fails people like me.

[Definitions]

Does G-d test us at times (non-PC)?

וַיְהִ֗י אַחַר֙ הַדְּבָרִ֣ים הָאֵ֔לֶּה וְהָ֣אֱלֹהִ֔ים נִסָּ֖ה אֶת־אַבְרָהָ֑ם וַיֹּ֣אמֶר אֵלָ֔יו אַבְרָהָ֖ם וַיֹּ֥אמֶר הִנֵּֽנִי׃
And it came to pass after these things, that God tested Abraham, and said to him, Abraham; and he said, Behold, here I am. (Genesis 22:1)

It's not a complete proof since you can argue that it was specifically for Avraham. But philosophically I think it's agreed upon by everyone that it's a yes.

[ChaimMoskowitz]

And it came to pass after these things, that God tested Abraham, and said to him, Abraham; and he said, Behold, here I am. (Genesis 22:1)

Now why wasn't I thinking about that when I posted the question?