Yesterday the school sent out a few of emails regarding this...
Being proactive or crisis mode?
1 email.
"Dear Parents,
Our hearts are shattered at the news that a former student of ours, 5th Grader Aaron Benayoun z'l, died yesterday. Ours is not to delve into specifics, to conjecture as to causes etc. Our concern now is for Aaron z'l's family, and our responsibility and concern is to our students, former classmates and schoolmates of Aaron z'l, and his 2nd Grade brother Asher.
The principals, school counselors, along with classroom and ACE teachers where appropriate, after extensive consultation with crisis and trauma experts from Chai Lifeline, are going into each elementary school classroom, grades 2 and up, to inform the children and to help them process their feelings. Many of them wrote letters or drawings, to be shared with the family. We are letting you, the parents know what is happening, and to offer some guidance in dealing with your child(ren) when they come home this afternoon.
We shared, in an age-appropriate manner that something went terribly wrong for Aaron yesterday, and he died as a result. In response to children’s questions as to the cause, we explained we don’t know, and the focus needs to be on mourning with the family and processing our feelings.
There is no one or correct way that children or adults react to grief and trauma. Everyone follows their own timetable, their own intensity and their own way of demonstrating their feelings. Children look to their own parents' reactions, to guide how they should be feeling. Parents should be totally non-judgmental about Aaron z'l and his family. Parents should be totally open and accepting of whatever their child says or doesn't say. Let your child's reactions guide you. The goal should be to get the children to open up, and for parents to validate their feelings, while correcting any informational inaccuracies.
This is clearly unprecedented for all of us. We cannot take away the pain, but we can help ourselves and our children to be able to move on in a healthy manner. Hashem runs the world, everything He does is for the best, but from our very limited perspective, we are at a loss to understand it.
We will be sharing more insights and information in the days ahead, IY'H. There will be a teleconference this evening with Dr. David Fox and Mrs. Zahava Farbman of Chai Lifeline. The particulars will be forwarded to you when they become available. Please feel free to contact any one of us in school to help you navigate this tragedy that has pierced our children's world.
With broken hearts,
Rabbi Kalman Baumann
Rabbi Noam Grossman
Mrs. Miriam Deitsch
Rabbi Yisroel Y. Niman
Rosh HaYeshiva"
