BDE 11 year old frum boy commits suicide

[ckmk47]

A thought on building self esteem.
Some people think that praising everything their child does will build his self esteem. Not so. 'Over the top' praise is understood by the recipient as being false.
Praise their efforts and their actual accomplishments. Not "You were the best player on the team."  More like: "You had some great plays. I saw you trying to block the other guy, too bad he got around you." and "That time you fed the ball to the main shooter, really helped your team score."
Another big thing is creating  ways for a person to accomplish something worthwhile. 
Give a child a steady chore that is within his capability. Even a young child can be responsible to takeout the garbage daily. Prompt him to start, and remind him if necessary, but it should be his job, not yours. Increase responsibilities with age.
Thanks and praise for a job well done, does a lot more than empty 'also ran' trophies.

[davidrotts63]

A thought on building self esteem.
Some people think that praising everything their child does will build his self esteem. Not so. 'Over the top' praise is understood by the recipient as being false.
Praise their efforts and their actual accomplishments. Not "You were the best player on the team."  More like: "You had some great plays. I saw you trying to block the other guy, too bad he got around you." and "That time you fed the ball to the main shooter, really helped your team score."
Another big thing is creating  ways for a person to accomplish something worthwhile. 
Give a child a steady chore that is within his capability. Even a young child can be responsible to takeout the garbage daily. Prompt him to start, and remind him if necessary, but it should be his job, not yours. Increase responsibilities with age.
Thanks and praise for a job well done, does a lot more than empty 'also ran' trophies.

+1

[ChaimMoskowitz]

A thought on building self esteem.
Some people think that praising everything their child does will build his self esteem. Not so. 'Over the top' praise is understood by the recipient as being false.
Praise their efforts and their actual accomplishments. Not "You were the best player on the team."  More like: "You had some great plays. I saw you trying to block the other guy, too bad he got around you." and "That time you fed the ball to the main shooter, really helped your team score."
Another big thing is creating  ways for a person to accomplish something worthwhile. 
Give a child a steady chore that is within his capability. Even a young child can be responsible to takeout the garbage daily. Prompt him to start, and remind him if necessary, but it should be his job, not yours. Increase responsibilities with age.
Thanks and praise for a job well done, does a lot more than empty 'also ran' trophies.

+1
All children can be put in situations were they succeed. No need to give false praise.

[Pschafler]

Without attributing cause or blame, yeshiva administrators, registrars, financial aid committees etc. should understand it is a terrible injury and crime against a Jewish child to close the door to a Jewish child, lock a child out of school and send them home due to an administrative issue related to the parents but unrelated to the child, unless the child presents a safety risk to other children or in response to a state mandate such as immunization. It is a terrible, terrible thing. Children cannot be humiliated rejected and wounded to get their parents to comply. בנים לא יומתו על אבות.  Even if a child survives and does not show the pain, the memory and the wound lives on for life.

[12HRS]

Agreed. Now what happens when the parents know that a yeshiva will never send a kid home and never pay their tuition bill? What should a yeshiva do?

[zh cohen]

Agreed. Now what happens when the parents know that a yeshiva will never send a kid home and never pay their tuition bill? What should a yeshiva do?

Fundraise

[TimT]

Fundraise

I’m gonna stop paying tuition. What’s your address ? I’ll send the fundraisers to you to sponsor my kids.

[MrKaplan]

I’m gonna stop paying tuition. What’s your address ? I’ll send the fundraisers to you to sponsor my kids.

There's a difference between can't pay and doesn't want to pay.

[aygart]

There's a difference between can't pay and doesn't want to pay.

What is that and how can you tell and enforce this difference?

[Sport]

What is that and how can you tell and enforce this difference?

Simple. I cant, the other person doesnt want to.

[TimT]

Simple. I cant, the other person doesnt want to.

Or the other person cant & you don’t want to.

[MrKaplan]

What is that and how can you tell and enforce this difference?

The difference is one has the financial resources the other doesn't. If a school has to fundraise to put a child thru school then the onus is on the parent to prove they are unable to pay. As an aside I think most people are looking to do the right and proper thing and in hindsight of this tragedy I don't think anyone would've  hesitated to donate if it would have a made a difference in the outcome of this story.

[davidrotts63]

reports of another such story. no idea of any details.