You try to understand what and why he thinks the way he does... and then try to help him within his current understanding...
The way is to try to understand why the other person thinks what he does, (possibly even asking him - Gasp!) and then helping him where is.
Try by asking the fellow what the problem is.
Then empathise that, yes, it's takeh an Issue.
Then ask so what would good solution?
offer to help him solve the problem...
DING DING DING
We have a winner!
O.k., but what about the next part.
2: Your wife thinks for a second. "Yeah, i guess so. I mean, if you can can prevent another story going out in a nice way, why not?"
You go over to the fellow.
"Hey Reb Yid" You patiently ask. "What's wrong?."
"You don't see?", he asks with fire in his eyes, "They put me purposefully next to a girl when i purposefully asked them ahead of time for them not to!".
"Wow! That's terrible", you say, sounding as empathetic as possible. "This is really not good. What do you think we should do? Maybe i can help."
"Help me get the flight attendant's attention so we can get him to switch me", he says.
"Uh, he looks kinda busy, maybe we can just wait til after takeoff to sort this out?", you stammer.
He looks at you with fire in his eyes. "Listen. If your not willing to help then just mind your own business!"
What now?