Author Topic: jokes for my bothers aufruf  (Read 16713 times)

Offline Bh101

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite + Lifetime Gold Elite
  • ******
  • Join Date: Nov 2010
  • Posts: 763
  • Total likes: 0
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
jokes for my bothers aufruf
« on: August 06, 2011, 10:29:48 PM »
my brother is having his aufruf this week and i have to speak. i need help with jokes and a speech in general. all and any help would be appreciated. ( i really suk at speaking and making speeches) thanks!!!

Offline henche

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 3904
  • Total likes: 435
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: jokes for my bothers aufruf
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2011, 10:43:26 PM »
At my brother's sheva brachos, I cited the gemara that says keitzad merakdim lifnei hakalla, beis shamai omrim, "kalla k'maves"
(כלה כמות)

Offline elikay

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: May 2010
  • Posts: 5342
  • Total likes: 14
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
Re: jokes for my bothers aufruf
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2011, 10:57:16 PM »
not again ::)

Offline henche

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 3904
  • Total likes: 435
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: jokes for my bothers aufruf
« Reply #3 on: August 06, 2011, 11:14:27 PM »
yes again

Offline Bh101

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite + Lifetime Gold Elite
  • ******
  • Join Date: Nov 2010
  • Posts: 763
  • Total likes: 0
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: jokes for my bothers aufruf
« Reply #4 on: August 06, 2011, 11:18:25 PM »
where is the gemarah? i want to take a look at it

Offline henche

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 3904
  • Total likes: 435
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: jokes for my bothers aufruf
« Reply #5 on: August 06, 2011, 11:20:21 PM »
ketubos 16b bottom line

Offline elikay

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: May 2010
  • Posts: 5342
  • Total likes: 14
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
Re: jokes for my bothers aufruf
« Reply #6 on: August 07, 2011, 12:21:36 AM »
yes again
Danielz reincarnation
The gemara in kesubos, 16b says "keitzad merakdim lifnei hakalla, beis shammai omrim, 'kalla k'muves'".
http://hebrewbooks.org/shas.aspx?mesechta=15&daf=16b&format=pdf last line.

Offline henche

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 3904
  • Total likes: 435
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: jokes for my bothers aufruf
« Reply #7 on: August 07, 2011, 12:22:21 AM »
Or maybe I'm danielz's brother?

Offline elikay

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: May 2010
  • Posts: 5342
  • Total likes: 14
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
Re: jokes for my bothers aufruf
« Reply #8 on: August 07, 2011, 12:27:13 AM »
Definitely a possibility...

Offline Bh101

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite + Lifetime Gold Elite
  • ******
  • Join Date: Nov 2010
  • Posts: 763
  • Total likes: 0
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: jokes for my bothers aufruf
« Reply #9 on: August 07, 2011, 12:37:54 AM »
anything else? im really desperate! jokes or just something interesting or good, whether or not it connects plz keep it coming 

Offline ganizzy

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Mar 2010
  • Posts: 1066
  • Total likes: 4
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
Re: jokes for my bothers aufruf
« Reply #10 on: August 07, 2011, 12:40:21 AM »
why does the chosson break the glass under the chuppah - its the last time he will put his foot down

Offline elikay

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: May 2010
  • Posts: 5342
  • Total likes: 14
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
Re: jokes for my bothers aufruf
« Reply #11 on: August 07, 2011, 12:41:43 AM »
anything else? im really desperate! jokes or just something interesting or good, whether or not it connects plz keep it coming 
try the thread I linked to

Offline Deal Guy

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Apr 2009
  • Posts: 4737
  • Total likes: 56
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 9
    • View Profile
Re: jokes for my bothers aufruf
« Reply #12 on: August 07, 2011, 01:59:02 AM »
try the thread I linked to
I think you WANTED to link to, but never made it.

Offline henche

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 3904
  • Total likes: 435
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile

Offline elikay

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: May 2010
  • Posts: 5342
  • Total likes: 14
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
Re: jokes for my bothers aufruf
« Reply #14 on: August 07, 2011, 02:09:37 AM »
I think you WANTED to link to, but never made it.
 
>:(
if you would click on my quote from DanielZ you would see it

Offline elikay

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: May 2010
  • Posts: 5342
  • Total likes: 14
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile

Offline Deal Guy

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Apr 2009
  • Posts: 4737
  • Total likes: 56
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 9
    • View Profile
Re: jokes for my bothers aufruf
« Reply #16 on: August 07, 2011, 02:16:51 AM »
>:(
if you would click on my quote from DanielZ you would see it

Why are you  >:(  at me? I still don't see where you posted the link above. The link that you posted was for the daf gemara. I guess You wanted me to know to click on the line where it says Quote from Danielz.
« Last Edit: August 07, 2011, 02:21:47 AM by Deal Guy »

Offline henche

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 3904
  • Total likes: 435
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: jokes for my bothers aufruf
« Reply #17 on: August 07, 2011, 02:17:55 AM »
Why are you  >:(  at me? I still don't see where you posted the link above. The link that you posted was for the daf gemara!

He just doesn't know how to make this face:

Offline elikay

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: May 2010
  • Posts: 5342
  • Total likes: 14
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
Re: jokes for my bothers aufruf
« Reply #18 on: August 07, 2011, 02:30:50 AM »
click on the line where it says Quote from Danielz.
:D

Offline Bh101

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite + Lifetime Gold Elite
  • ******
  • Join Date: Nov 2010
  • Posts: 763
  • Total likes: 0
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: jokes for my bothers aufruf
« Reply #19 on: August 07, 2011, 11:13:49 AM »
try the thread I linked to
i did and no offense to the previous thread but i didnt see anything that was good, most of it was old MIL jokes