Thank You yfr bachur for a very meaningful and thought out post.
I would like to conglomerate what has been discussed here with my two cents added.
To break it down point by point
1. Yearning for Eretz Yisroel
2. The way I view the Israeli perspective.
3. Being "stuck" here.
4. Visiting the Kosel
5. The gashmius in Eretz Yisroel
1.
Yearning for Eretz Yisroel In Chu"l, EY is much more talked about and dealt with. We are constantly fed stories about Gedolim who wanted to go there, and gave up everything for that. There is no chasuna, bar mitzva, siyum, or kumzitz that does not have songs of longing for EY as the grand finale. Whereas in EY, comes to curfew and the music... stops. When you say לשנה הבאה בירושלים there is meaning to it. Then your hopes and dreams come true and you got what you always wanted, and move. For the first few weeks, you walk around as if in a dream, and then the freshness wears off, now what? What does one expect to happen? Just like a kid who wanted a new toy, and then gets it, the euphoria goes away after some time.The question is how does one deal with recapturing that feeling.
To speak from personal experience, I remember the first time I came. Before the flight I was reading about EY, listening to songs about EY (highly recommend Eretz Yisroel from Nachum Stark)... couldn't sleep on the plane .. getting closer.. closer.. when we are able to see from the window (getting goosebumps just writing this).. touchdown, B"H I was zoche for קוממיות לארצינו.. the doors open, I stand in the doorway for a few seconds אווירא דארעא, step on the hallway say שהחיינו בלי שם ומלכות and wonder how ר' יהודה הלוי would been מלכך עפרה if he would have came this way. Go through security, get my luggage and walk out. I'M HERE. I get on the tender to Yerushalayim, ד' אמות, and another and another.. see the ברוכים הבאים.. get to my dira, put my stuff down and go to mincha מודים אנחנו לך. Then comes Shabbos, I feel that Abie Rotenberg didn't half describe the feeling in his song of Yerushalyim. Walking the streets, soaking it all in.. going to the Kosel.. then I got used to being here, having my place my routine. I sometimes ask myself if I really had a hisragshus about coming or it was all just fluff, but don't really care so much which, מתן שכרה בצדה.
Friends of mine used to not want to go out on YT Sheni so as not to see the cars driving around, I davkka went felt that I was able to at least bring about the Shabbos feeling again. (Now that I keep one day I don't have that anymore
) Whenever I go someplace new I try to think about the new ד' אמות that I'm getting. When walking by tourists, I sometimes think to myself B"H I have the zchus to live here. I find these in a way to be bandaids, but it helps. Yes, it needs work to keep it up and pushing and reminding, and perhaps leaving once in a while to awaken the freshness.
Just a few eitzas, one should think about what it was about EY that was so important to him. Read through the Kinnos of 9 Av that talk about EY slowly, line by line, trying to get the hargosho of the Rishonim for the desire of EY. Edit Ruchoma Shain in one of her books discussed this point, she says to help her and her husband to remember the zchus that they have, every morniing they would say "B"H we are in Eretz Yisroel."
(taking a long time to write TBC Be"H)
