Author Topic: Randomex's Random Thread of Random Randomness  (Read 8210 times)

Offline Randomex

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Re: Randomex's Random Thread of Random Randomness
« Reply #60 on: January 05, 2021, 11:16:27 AM »
 

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Re: Randomex's Random Thread of Random Randomness
« Reply #61 on: January 05, 2021, 11:27:54 AM »
I loved some of his classics - especially Spirited Away - but I'm so over Ghibli at this point. IMO they haven't put out anything really good since maybe Ponyo (10+ years). Cartoon Saloon is where it's at now for me - Wolfwalkers should take the Oscar easily.

Offline Randomex

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Re: Randomex's Random Thread of Random Randomness
« Reply #62 on: January 06, 2021, 09:54:53 PM »
"The urban legend focuses on bush walkers being 'dropped on' by drop bears, resulting in injury including mainly lacerations
and occasionally bites. Most attacks are considered accidental and there are no stories of incidents being fatal.

There are some suggested folk remedies that are said to act as a repellent to Drop Bears, these include having forks in the hair
or Vegemite or toothpaste spread behind the ears. There is no evidence to suggest that any such repellents work."
 

Offline Randomex

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Re: Randomex's Random Thread of Random Randomness
« Reply #63 on: January 07, 2021, 09:16:08 AM »
"In honour of our big, blowout, end-of-year extravaganza spectacular, no expense was spared. Mark put on pants. Walker wore his t-shirt with the fewest holes. The sheep freshly sheared [sic]. The palanquin carriers were freshly oiled. Come, thrill to the summary..."
 

Offline Randomex

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Re: Randomex's Random Thread of Random Randomness
« Reply #64 on: January 07, 2021, 03:10:34 PM »
Empty box for sale

Hello I have recently migrated the plastic crud from its original beagle-sized game box into an
approximately Newfoundland-sized game box, purchased with bonus plastic crud on Kickstarter.

Original beagle-sized box is in acceptable condition. No components included. Asking $50.

Edit: Since you louts are asking, yes it is for Anachrony, but that is beside the point. This box speaks for itself.
 

Offline Randomex

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Re: Randomex's Random Thread of Random Randomness
« Reply #65 on: January 13, 2021, 11:18:41 AM »
Some news, though news-y, will keep until next week. The key is to wrap the roots of the news in damp
paper towel, put the news in a plastic bag, and put the bag in the fridge. The news will keep up to a
couple of weeks that way, whereas it would have become limp news on the counter in as little as a day.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2021, 11:29:26 AM by Randomex »
 

Offline Randomex

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Re: Randomex's Random Thread of Random Randomness
« Reply #66 on: January 13, 2021, 11:30:51 AM »
"Roy Bean, the guy we've been talking about, a man on the run after breaking out of jail
for shooting a man in a duel, a man who killed another dude in a different duel over a girl
[whose name we don't know], who was also a cattle rustler, a firewood thief, a milk diluter,
a wife-beater, and a child-abandoner. This guy was now the justice of the peace!"

"Yeah, and Donald Trump is President, Tom. If you're looking to shake me to my core,
you're gonna need a time machine. [...] I wish I had a milk diluter for a President... I wish."
 

Offline Randomex

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Re: Randomex's Random Thread of Random Randomness
« Reply #67 on: January 15, 2021, 08:50:09 AM »
 

Offline Randomex

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Re: Randomex's Random Thread of Random Randomness
« Reply #68 on: January 15, 2021, 09:57:50 AM »


(Kirkjufell mountain, Iceland)
 

Offline Randomex

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Re: Randomex's Random Thread of Random Randomness
« Reply #69 on: January 15, 2021, 10:17:34 AM »
Is it just me or is this disorienting...




...this rather unpleasant...




and these not pleasant enough?




 

Offline Randomex

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Re: Randomex's Random Thread of Random Randomness
« Reply #70 on: January 15, 2021, 10:22:50 AM »
Opinions:

Unsettling, but nice:




Unsettling, not nice:




A nightmare:


 

Offline Randomex

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Re: Randomex's Random Thread of Random Randomness
« Reply #71 on: January 15, 2021, 10:25:53 AM »
Ever wanted to see 400 opinions in one image?


 

Offline username

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Re: Randomex's Random Thread of Random Randomness
« Reply #72 on: January 15, 2021, 10:53:08 AM »
Ever wanted to see 400 opinions in one image?


I use DDF for that. Set your posts per pages up.

Offline Randomex

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Re: Randomex's Random Thread of Random Randomness
« Reply #73 on: January 17, 2021, 03:36:02 AM »
Keep a good balance between farming and animal husbandry and you will
have a flourishing and nice looking farm in the end, whether you win or not.
 - box back of Agricola: Family Edition
 

Offline Randomex

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Re: Randomex's Random Thread of Random Randomness
« Reply #74 on: January 17, 2021, 08:05:51 AM »
There's a card game called Dominion, published in 2008. It founded a new genre of card game*, became
extremely popular, and has had 13 expansions so far. It's also famously dry (that is, exciting only in terms
of strategy) and nonthematic - that is, the names and functions of its cards often don't seem to have much in
common with real life. So, what about this brings it to this thread? The text on the back of the expansion boxes.
While the original game's box text is only slightly quirky, the expansion box text is much more so.

Dominion

You are a monarch, like your parents before you, a ruler of a small pleasant kingdom of rivers and evergreens. Unlike your parents, however, you have hopes dreams! You want a bigger kingdom, more pleasant, with more rivers, and a wider variety of trees. You want a Dominion!

In all directions lie fiefs, freeholds, and feodums. All are small bits of land, controlled by petty lords and verging on anarchy. You will bring civilization to these people, uniting them under your banner. But wait! It must be something in the air; several other monarchs have had the exact same idea. You must race to get as much of the unclaimed land as possible, fending them off along the way. To do this you will hire minions, construct buildings, spruce up your castle, and fill the coffers of your treasury. Your parents wouldnt be proud, but your grandparents, on your mothers side, would be delighted.

Intrigue

Somethings afoot. The steward smiles at you like he has a secret, or like he thinks you have a secret, or like you think he thinks you have a secret. There are secret plots brewing, youre sure of it. At the very least, there are yours. A passing servant murmurs, The eggs are on the plate. You frantically search your code book for the translation before realizing he means that breakfast is ready. Excellent. Everything is going according to plan.

Seaside

All you ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by. And someone who knows how to steer ships using stars. You finally got some of those rivers youd wanted, and they led to the sea. These are dangerous, pirate-infested waters, and you cautiously send rat-infested ships across them, to establish lucrative trade at far-off merchant-infested ports. First, you will take over some islands, as a foothold. The natives seem friendly enough, crying their peace cries, and giving you spears and poison darts before you are even close enough to accept them properly. When you finally reach those ports you will conquer them, and from there you will look for more rivers. One day, all the rivers will be yours.

Alchemy

There are strange things going on in your basement laboratories. They keep calling up for more barrels of quicksilver, or bits of your hair. Well its all in the name of progress. Theyre looking for a way to turn lead into gold, or at least into something better than lead. That lead had just been too good of a bargain to pass up; you didnt think, where will I put all this lead, what am I going to do with this lead anyway. Well that will all be sorted out. Theyre also looking for a universal solvent. If they manage that one, you will take whatever they use to hold it in and build a castle out of it. A castle that cant be dissolved! Now thats progress.

Prosperity

Ah, money. Theres nothing like the sound of coins clinking in your hands. You vastly prefer it to the sound of coins clinking in someone elses hands, or the sound of coins just sitting there in a pile that no-one can quite reach without getting up. Getting up, thats all behind you now. Life has been good to you. Just ten years ago, you were tilling your own fields in a simple straw hat. Today, your kingdom stretches from sea to sea, and your straw hat is the largest the world has ever known. You also have the worlds smallest dog, and a life-size statue of yourself made out of baklava. Sure, money cant buy happiness, but it can buy envy, anger, and also this kind of blank feeling. You still have problems troublesome neighbors that must be conquered. But this time, youll conquer them in style.

Cornucopia

Autumn. It seemed like the summer would never end, but that fortune teller was right. Its over. Autumn, the time of the harvest. Agriculture has advanced significantly in recent years, ever since the discovery of the maxim, leaves of three, let it be. Autumn, a time of celebration. The peasants have spent a hard week scything hay in the fields, but tonight the festivities begin, starting with a sumptuous banquet of roast hay. Then, the annual nose-stealing competition. Then you have two jesters, one who always lies, one who always tells the truth, both hilariously. This celebration will truly have something for everyone.

Hinterlands

The world is big and your kingdom small. Small when compared to the world, that is; its moderate-sized when compared to other kingdoms. But in a big world like this one big when compared to smaller worlds anyway, if such things exist; its moderate-sized when compared to worlds of roughly the same size, and a little small when compared to worlds just a little larger well, to make a long story short short when compared to longer stories anyway it is time to stretch your borders. Youve heard of far-off places exotic countries, where they have pancakes but not waffles, where the people wear the wrong number of shirts, and dont even have a word for the look two people give each other when they each hope that the other will do something that they both want done but which neither of them wants to do. It is to these lands that you now turn your gaze.

Dark Ages

Times have been hard. To save on money, youve moved out of your old castle, and into a luxurious ravine. You didnt like that castle anyway; it was always getting looted, and never at a reasonable hour. And if it wasnt barbarians it was the plague, or sometimes both would come at once, and there wouldnt be enough chairs. The ravine is great; you get lots of sun, and you can just drop garbage wherever you want. In your free time youve taken up begging. Begging is brilliant conceptually, but tricky in practice, since no-one has any money. You beg twigs from the villagers, and they beg them back, but no-one really seems to come out ahead. Thats just how life is sometimes. Youre quietly conquering people, minding your own business, when suddenly theres a plague, or barbarians, or everyones illiterate, and its all you can do to cling to some wreckage as the storm passes through. Still, you are sure that, as always, you will triumph over this adversity, or at least do slightly better than everyone else.

Guilds

Jobs, everyones worried about jobs. Whatever happened to tilling the fields in obscurity? The economy is just a trick, like stealing someones nose, but lately people seem to have seen through it, like when you realize someone hasnt really stolen your nose. So now everyones joining a guild, learning a craft, and working on a masterpiece a painting so beautiful it blinds you, or a cheese grater so amazing that you never eat cheese again. The only people left tilling the fields are the ones doing it ironically. The guilds cover everything ironic tilling, butchering, baking, candlestick making, shoemaking, cheesemaking, cheese destruction. Your advisor is convinced that somehow, control of the stonecutters is key to world domination. Very well. You will have stone handled so expertly that the world trembles before you.

Adventures

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Youre not sure which, but at least youve narrowed it down. You are rich with life experiences, but have had trouble trading them for goods and services. Its time to seek your fortune, or anyones really, whoevers is closest. To the west theres a land of milk and honey, full of giant bees and monstrous cows. To the east, a land of eggs and licorice. To the north, treacherous swamps; to the south, loyal jungles. But all of them have been thoroughly pillaged.

Youve heard legends though of a fifth direction, as yet unspoiled, with its treasures conveniently gathered into troves. You have your sword and your trail mix, handed down from your father, and his father before him. Youve recruited some recruits and hired some hirelings; youve shined your armor and distressed a damsel. You put up a sign saying Gone Adventuring. Then you put up another sign, saying Beware of Dog, in case people get any ideas. Youre ready. You saddle up your trusty steed, and head florst.

Empires

The world is big and your kingdom gigantic. Its no longer a kingdom really; its an empire. Which makes you the emperor. This entitles you to a better chair, plus you can name a salad after yourself. Its not easy being emperor. The day starts early, when you light the sacred flame; then its hours of committee meetings, trying to establish exactly why the sacred flame keeps going out. Sometimes your armies take over a continent and you just have no idea where to put it. And theres the risk of assassination; you have a food taster, who tastes anything before you eat it, and a dagger tester, who gets stabbed by anything before it stabs you. Youve taken to staying at home whenever its the Ides of anything. Still overall its a great job. You wouldnt trade it for the world especially given how much of the world you already have.

Nocturne

Youve always been a night person; lately youve even considered becoming a vampire. There are a lot of advantages: you dont age; you dont have to see yourself in mirrors anymore; if someone asks you to do something, you can just turn into a bat, and then say, sorry, Im a bat. There are probably some downsides though. You always think of the statue in the town square, that came to life, and now works as the tavern barmaid. The pedestal came to life too, so she has to hop around. The village blacksmith turns into a wolf whenever theres a full moon; when theres a crescent moon, he turns into a chihuahua. Thats how this stuff goes sometimes. Still, when you breathe in the night air, you feel ready for anything.

Renaissance

Its a momentous time. Art has been revolutionized by the invention of perspective, and also of funding. A picture used to be worth a dozen or so words; these new ones are more like a hundred. Oil paintings have gotten so realistic that youve hired an artist to do a portrait of you each morning, so you can make sure your hair is good. Busts have gotten better too; no more stopping at the shoulders, they go all the way to the ground. Science and medicine have advanced; theres no more superstition, now they know the perfect number of leeches to apply for each ailment. You have a clock accurate to within an hour, and a calendar accurate to within a week. Your physician heals himself, and your barber cuts his own hair. This is truly a golden age.

Menagerie

Dominion, thats what youre trying to achieve. This time with animals! They each have a lesson to teach, whether its how to spit really far, or what kind of grass tastes the best. Its a lot to keep track of, but youre like an elephant: you remember everything. And youre afraid of mice. Youve taken up riding. Horses are intimidating; they say you can lead a horse to water, but you havent managed it. So youre working your way up, starting with dogs. So far so good; the dog hasnt bucked you off yet. Your menagerie got off to a poor start, with just a goat, two rats, and the adviser who suggested starting a menagerie. You couldnt get that fox you wanted, but it was probably bad anyway. Now youve got some camels, which are just as useless for sewing as youd been warned, and a turtle that can hold its breath for longer than anyone can stay interested. Soon the animal kingdom will be yours.



*"Deck-building games," in which each player has a personal deck of cards which they can customize during the game.