"I was a Hasidic Jew - but I broke free"

[Steven]

Background: Back in 2011, a German TV station did a report of Hasidic Williamsburg. Earlier in the seven-minute clip, Ms. Feldman is seen driving around in her car to show the reporter how life is in Williamsburg. For typical media shtick, the reporter at minute mark 4:55, recorded Feldman walking down a street.

Now, of course, Feldman knew the camera filming was meant for her and thus she is seen looking around thinking that others notice that a TV crew is filming her. However, note how no-one around her gives a crap; No one even spits in her direction because no one knew nor cared of her personal issues. NOTE: You will likely get distracted by the German language used in the film coupled with seeing Rabbi Niederman on the split side of the screen. However, focus on Feldman’s delusions.

anyone have a transcript of what the reporter is saying? my yiddish wont really help me understand much

[momo]

Apparently Bedford Avenue is...

I work there and you very rarely see any frum jews there. That is considered North williamsburg and it is very trendy and hip

[MarkS]

Dear Deborah Feldman: It took your lies to realize my truth

[bubbles]

Dear Deborah Feldman: It took your lies to realize my truth

does she get zchar for that?

[A3]

does she get zchar for that?

For every one that dies another one is born.

[jj1000]

does she get zchar for that?

If this guy is real...

[Side incomer]

Dear Deborah Feldman: It took your lies to realize my truth

Good piece.
although it seems to be to be just a good way of a Jewish guy from our community to get his word out, without being just another attack.
But it is still awesome.

[HelpMe]

Dear Deborah Feldman: It took your lies to realize my truth

Did anyone read the comments?

[Side incomer]

Did anyone read the comments?

The reason why they brought it here, is that we should comment here on that. If we'd read all comments all over we need more than 24 hours a day.
BTW, what are you trying to point out? that the comments there are negative? Although I didn't read them I believe so, as most of the people (including you) are looking for the negative parts of our comunity, instead of facing the good ones that are 10 x more than that.

[MarkS]

Did anyone read the comments?

Im curious to hear your thoughts on the jewish community overall. You've had contact with many jews on here and privy to alot of information both here and in the press.   Keep in mind that every group has its good people and bad people and a few bad apples dont define an entire people.

[HelpMe]

The reason why they brought it here, is that we should comment here on that. If we'd read all comments all over we need more than 24 hours a day.
BTW, what are you trying to point out? that the comments there are negative? Although I didn't read them I believe so, as most of the people (including you) are looking for the negative parts of our comunity, instead of facing the good ones that are 10 x more than that.

When all the points being made is basically one side how do you expect to have an honest discussion? If I was looking for the negatives in what you call “our community” I must have my eyes closed.

[jj1000]

Keep in mind that every group has its good people and bad people and a few bad apples dont define an entire people.

Very true. But even more so its the ideals that represent a religion not how every person follows it. Because every person is an individual and unique what is good for one may not be good for another. I think you can compare this to countries and their policies/government. If one country, say the USA for example we believe that democracy is the best way to run a country, but look at how many criminals are in the US. Does that mean that Democracy is a faulty system or that there are faulty people in a good system? rough example but I hope you understand the point I am trying to make.

Another example: If I would study a market economy and read all the stories on google of how many people went bankrupt and have horror stories because of this economic setup I would never want to live in a country with such a system and yet we do...

[MarkS]

When all the points being made is basically one side how do you expect to have an honest discussion? If I was looking for the negatives in what you call “our community” I must have my eyes closed.

I think it's obvious and understandable that Orthodox Jews should want to defend themselves from perceived 'attacks' on their way of life. Do you expect us all to begin bashing Jewdaism in response to a few problems that there are in certain communities?
No one will say that there aren't problems in certain sects - but blowing them out of proportion and displaying us a backward/wife abusing/uneducated people will obviously garner complaints in defense of the overall goodness that we perceive (and is hopefully perceived by non-jews as well) in our way of life.

[HelpMe]

I think it's obvious and understandable that Orthodox Jews should want to defend themselves from perceived 'attacks' on their way of life. Do you expect us all to begin bashing Jewdaism in response to a few problems that there are in certain communities?
No one will say that there aren't problems in certain sects - but blowing them out of proportion and displaying us a backward/wife abusing/uneducated people will obviously garner complaints in defense of the overall goodness that we perceive (and is hopefully perceived by non-jews as well) in our way of life.

I expect everyone to defend their religion. I would also hope they would acknowledge the problems that exist so they could be solved. In the Roman Catholic religion there was a cover up for over 50 years of a few bad apples. They never acknowledge their problem until recent years. Any form of religion in a person’s life I feel is a plus.

One of the recent threads here is about the Jewish basketball team. Put aside the way it was handled but how can someone not have the utmost respect for these kids? If you respect these kids you have to also respect the religion their beliefs are based on.

Back to the topic of this thread and almost an identical one in the general forum. These two and others that I have read all have a common theme. The women seem to be saying they were controlled and pressured (arraigned) to get married. This is a problem as I see it. Some take this as I am trying to only show the negatives.

[MarkS]

The women seem to be saying they were controlled and pressured (arraigned) to get married. This is a problem as I see it. Some take this as I am trying to only show the negatives.

Well according to Pearl Reich, my wife was coerced into marrying me (as I live in Lakewood) and the chances are that I'm an abuser too because this whole 'scheme' is an orchestration meant to trap women into marrying young so that they have kids and are then trapped into staying religious. WOW!!!

In my (non hassidic yet ultra orthodox circles) I don't know anyone who married that young or was forced into marriage.

In the Satmar community where these alleged 'injustices' toward women take place, the facts are definitely being misrepresented.
I am not 100% familiar with their exact dating practices but I do know that the overwhelming majority of them don't meet only once having no say in the matter. Additionally, most of them are happily married and are not simply 'locked' into abusive marriages against their will for fear of losing their children.
Do I believe that 18 year olds should meet only 2-3 times before deciding to marry? No.
Does that mean that Boro Park/Williamsburg/Lakewood/Monsey/Monroe is full of or even has a substantial number of wife beaters? NO!
The system is working pretty well and maligning Orthodox Jewry as a Cult (I know, I'm mixing 2 threads together...) is not going to open the gates of honest discussion - rather it will just cause outrage at these blatant lies.

[elikay]

Back to the topic of this thread and almost an identical one in the general forum. These two and others that I have read all have a common theme. The women seem to be saying they were controlled and pressured (arraigned) to get married. This is a problem as I see it. Some take this as I am trying to only show the negatives.

The way I see it, is that they are simply jumping at the opportunity to malign their (former) communities which they have come to hate. Being pressured into getting married (assuming that's true) is a reason to dump your spouse, not your religion. They obviously had preexisting grievances and are opportunistically laying blame.

[jj1000]

The way I see it, is that they are simply jumping at the opportunity to malign their (former) communities which they have come to hate. Being pressured into getting married (assuming that's true) is a reason to dump your spouse, not your religion. They obviously had preexisting grievances and are opportunistically laying blame.

She claims that the idea of "pressured marriage" and her religion are one of the same. Hence the line you are drawing does not exist in her mind. In theory though I completely agree with you, just because one thing is wrong doesn't mean the system is... It is sad when you see some one leave a religion for just one situation that happened and that one incident represents the entire religion in their mind. Especially when that situation is not an integral or even a necessary part of that religion at all.

[Avid Reader]

Back to the topic of this thread and almost an identical one in the general forum. These two and others that I have read all have a common theme. The women seem to be saying they were controlled and pressured (arraigned) to get married. This is a problem as I see it. Some take this as I am trying to only show the negatives.

 Arranged marriage is not forced marriage. While I don't come from a community where arranged marriages take place, I very much respect those Jewish communities that still practice it.  Before people doubt this system, take a look at some famous people in  history and how they made out with arranged marriages:

Mayer Amschel Rothschild

Mayer Amschel Rothschild (23 February 1744 – 19 September 1812) was the founder of the Rothschild family international banking dynasty that became the most successful business family in history. In 2005, he was ranked 7th on the Forbes magazine list of "The Twenty Most Influential Businessmen Of All Time". The business magazine referred to him as a "founding father of international finance". (Quote from Wikipedia)

Mayer arranged the marriages of all his children.

Glückel of Hameln 

Glückel grew up in the city of Hamburg. When she was twelve years old, her parents betrothed her to Hayyim of Hamelin, whom she married 1660. After the marriage, the couple lived in his parents’ home in Hamelin.[2] A year after their marriage, the couple moved in with Glückel's parents in Hamburg, where Hayyim became an affluent businessman. Already involved in his business during his lifetime, when he died in 1689, she took over the business, conducting trade with markets as far as Amsterdam, Leipzig, Berlin, Vienna, Metz and Paris. (Quote from Wikipedia).

When you read the diary of Gluckel,  the love and affection she had for husband ( and him for her) throughout their life is told about repeatedly through out the book.
Besides her own marriage being arranged, she arranged the marriages of all her children.

[Side incomer]

When all the points being made is basically one side how do you expect to have an honest discussion? If I was looking for the negatives in what you call “our community” I must have my eyes closed.

"our community" I mean the religious Jewish community, not Satmar or any specific sect.
You do have to close your eyes, but rather keep them open and listen to the insiders, the orthodox frum people. While Dan and other people have been trying to convince you again and again that the problems these people mention are only a small portion, and that women are 100% first class with all meanings, you still would rather believe the few drop outs that try to use their bitter life as a missle against the whole orthodox community.
And you would rather take for proof comments of the people that hate us all the way, than the comments from the happy people over here that live happly lives.
Judaism is the only reigion that does not incourage to bring in outsiders, rather it discoregages!! But we are aloud to speek for ourselves, at least the much the outsiders speek for us!

[HelpMe]

@Side incomer
I think any response I give you will take as a negative. Do really think all these questions I ask are so I can find a way to trash your religion? Is it remotely possible I ask these questions to try and get a better understanding? Is it possible an outsider might have a perspective that an insider does not see?