Topic Wiki

Initiative to lower the standards:   https://simchainitiative.org/

Mishpacha Article link:                     https://mishpacha.com/at-all-costs/
                                                     https://mishpacha.com/at-all-costs-the-conversation-continues-2/

Jewish Pr. Interview W/R Reisman   https://www.jewishpress.com/indepth/interviews-and-profiles/over-1300-sign-pledge-to-hold-simpler-weddings-an-interview-with-rav-yisroel-reisman-rosh-yeshiva-of-torah-vodaath/2020/05/13/

Some interesting articles covering the guidelines from similar efforts 20 years ago

https://agudah.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/JO2002-V35-N06.pdf  page 10 article by Prof. Aaron Twerski
https://agudah.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/JO2006-V39-N041.pdf page 43 article by R Aryeh Zev Ginzberg
https://www.nytimes.com/2002/05/25/us/religion-journal-a-big-wedding-with-a-smaller-bill.html
« Last edited by David61 on May 28, 2020, 06:29:23 PM »

Poll

Wedding expenses in the frum community

Thank G-d for simchas
12 (5.7%)
This has gotten out of hand and a remedy is needed
160 (75.5%)
It's a problem but has always been this way and we'll manage as we have till now
40 (18.9%)

Total Members Voted: 212

Author Topic: POLL: Wedding expenses in the frum Community - BH for simchos? or out of hand?  (Read 160478 times)

Offline Yehuda25

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i had a "huge ateres avrohom type of event" (at ateres avrohom). it was very nice, but a total waste of money. nonjewish friends talk about their fantastic getaway weddings with only close family and friends and the price is cheaper, and i tell them yeah, i got married in a basement in williamsburg with 500 people (of which i was friendly with about 100)...
:-*
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Offline Yehuda25

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All the discussions on this topic are missing the primary evil. People have to be educated to be more responsible financially. How they make their Simcha's will be a result of that.
that and don't need to live up to what others do
“To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”


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Offline PlatinumGuy

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that and don't need to live up to what others do
Living up to what others do isn't inherently damaging. The problem is spending irresponsibly. There will always be one temptation or another to spend.
״וזה כלל גדול: שישנא אדם כל דבר שקר. וכל מה שיוסיף שנאה לדרכי השקר – יוסיף אהבה לתורה.״ - אורחות צדיקים

Offline @mike

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Here’s an idea without making rules or make people feel that they're not invited.

Have weddings start earlier.

Let’s say 2:30pm start time, chuppah at 3:30pm. Invite everyone!!! Only people who really need to be there will find a way to come. Everyone else can come for a huge buffet and dancing at ~6 pm.

This will also solve the issue of weddings ending late at night…

Thoughts??

Offline Dawie

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Here’s an idea without making rules or make people feel that they're not invited.

Have weddings start earlier.

Let’s say 2:30pm start time, chuppah at 3:30pm. Invite everyone!!! Only people who really need to be there will find a way to come. Everyone else can come for a huge buffet and dancing at ~6 pm.

This will also solve the issue of weddings ending late at night…

Thoughts??
People need to work for a living?

Offline @mike

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Exactly my point!
People won't be going to the chupah and meal unless they really need to there. They would have to decide that this is too important to miss and need to take off work.

Offline Dawie

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Exactly my point!
People won't be going to the chupah and meal unless they really need to there. They would have to decide that this is too important to miss and need to take off work.

Selfish

Offline Chapshnell

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Here’s an idea without making rules or make people feel that they're not invited.

Have weddings start earlier.

Let’s say 2:30pm start time, chuppah at 3:30pm. Invite everyone!!! Only people who really need to be there will find a way to come. Everyone else can come for a huge buffet and dancing at ~6 pm.

This will also solve the issue of weddings ending late at night…

Thoughts??

This is what I heard from a smart man & have been repeating since, if you must be there... you will  :)

If you dont must be there, you wont  :)

And if you want to come later in the wedding to say mazel tov, all are invited!

Offline etech0

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Here’s an idea without making rules or make people feel that they're not invited.

Have weddings start earlier.

Let’s say 2:30pm start time, chuppah at 3:30pm. Invite everyone!!! Only people who really need to be there will find a way to come. Everyone else can come for a huge buffet and dancing at ~6 pm.

This will also solve the issue of weddings ending late at night…

Thoughts??
6pm doesn't help anyone who wants to drive in from another city (and not take off work)
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline @mike

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6pm doesn't help anyone who wants to drive in from another city (and not take off work)

Okay so move everything 1 hour later...the point is the new normal will be for the general public to come after badeken, chuppah, pictures, some of the meal. This will also save people hours of time wasted waiting and waiting and won't cost everyone their entire night.

Offline mmgfarb

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Okay so move everything 1 hour later...the point is the new normal will be for the general public to come after badeken, chuppah, pictures, some of the meal. This will also save people hours of time wasted waiting and waiting and won't cost everyone their entire night.
This is like putting a band-aid on a broken car window.
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Offline yesitsme

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["-"]

Offline mmgfarb

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"JS [is] a fetid cesspool of unvarnished linguistic manure, with lots of useless drivel and post-padding." -Moishebatchy

Offline Definitions

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Here’s an idea without making rules or make people feel that they're not invited.

Have weddings start earlier.

Let’s say 2:30pm start time, chuppah at 3:30pm. Invite everyone!!! Only people who really need to be there will find a way to come. Everyone else can come for a huge buffet and dancing at ~6 pm.

This will also solve the issue of weddings ending late at night…

Thoughts??
I think they do this in England.
My Tapatalk notifications don't always work.

Offline coffeebean

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"NEW: TLS has learned a Lakewood hall will be offering all-inclusive wedding packages for $4500 for 100 guests, plus 120 for dancing. Will include flowers & decor, music & singer, photographer and videographer."
Wow!

Offline shaulyaakov

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"NEW: TLS has learned a Lakewood hall will be offering all-inclusive wedding packages for $4500 for 100 guests, plus 120 for dancing. Will include flowers & decor, music & singer, photographer and videographer."
Wow!
Indoors is only 50 right now.

Offline coffeebean

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Indoors is only 50 right now.
Probably for future weddings. We're only a couple weeks away

Offline shapsam

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"NEW: TLS has learned a Lakewood hall will be offering all-inclusive wedding packages for $4500 for 100 guests, plus 120 for dancing. Will include flowers & decor, music & singer, photographer and videographer."
Wow!
I don't see how it's possible for them to make a profit.

Offline Dan

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"NEW: TLS has learned a Lakewood hall will be offering all-inclusive wedding packages for $4500 for 100 guests, plus 120 for dancing. Will include flowers & decor, music & singer, photographer and videographer."
Wow!
That's great!
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline coffeebean

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I don't see how it's possible for them to make a profit.
I don't either. There's gotta be someone behind it