it can happen on back teeth too. not as common thoughare you referring to this?
Some communication from dentists to explain the kinds of things you are explaining here, rather than just say "you need 8 fillings" can go a long way in improving the impression/perception.
I can definitely relate to different approaches by different dentists. My current dentist tries to avoid recommending major procedures on functioning teeth, even when he knows they might not last long, as long as pushing off doesn't pose a threat of greater harm in his opinion. He definitely does communicate the options and his thoughts.