Author Topic: About that "jewish" wedding  (Read 24804 times)

Online aygart

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 18895
  • Total likes: 14973
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 14
    • View Profile
    • Lower Watt Energy Brokers
  • Programs: www.lowerwatt.com
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #100 on: June 15, 2023, 06:18:16 PM »
I didn't say you have to keep quiet. There's a fine line between making it clear that we don't condone this behavior in our communities and calling them names like illigitimate. As I said, I don't profess to know exactly where that line is.

THIS IS NOT A LEGITIMATE JEWISH LIFESTYLE
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline Yehudaa

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Mar 2018
  • Posts: 3750
  • Total likes: 2543
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 111
    • View Profile
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #101 on: June 15, 2023, 06:22:58 PM »
ווען עס טוט ויי שרייט מען
I once heard someone ask an Adam Gadol if it’s right to scream “shaaaaabos” at Jews driving on shabbos in yerushalayim. The response stuck with me- “Of course every yid’s heart should be screaming when he sees another yid driving on shabbos. That doesn’t mean anyone else has to hear you though.”

Those who are pained most by a Chilul Hashem are not always the same people who are screaming loudest.

THIS IS NOT A LEGITIMATE JEWISH LIFESTYLE
Agreed 100%!

Offline Yehudaa

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Mar 2018
  • Posts: 3750
  • Total likes: 2543
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 111
    • View Profile
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #102 on: June 15, 2023, 06:35:16 PM »
there is no official trend to serve non kosher food or to "marry" a goy (that i know about)

there is no treif food flag and no marry a shiksa flag
there is no treif food month and no marry a shiksa month

ppl do the above bec they are ignorant or weak in their yiddishkeit, and not because they are trying to push these things into the face of other ppl
even if there are exceptions to that, that is the general rule, and therefore automatically they have very little noticeable effect on us
There is an “official trend” to go OTD, and for decades our community has been working on figuring out how to on the one hand keep it 100% clear to our kids that the OTD lifestyle is not for us, but on the other hand remain compassionate to OTD kids and in turn keep the door open for them to come back, even if we perceive that they’re shoving their OTD status in our face (which happens sometimes, unfortunately). I believe we’ve found a decent balance under the circumstances.

I suspect that over the next few decades we’ll have similar work on our hands with the issues that we’re discussing, and I’m sure as a community we’ll find the right balance. Something tells me, though, that the right balance doesn’t include feeling hateful towards them, and rather feeling pity that they’ve turned to this.

Offline m65

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jul 2012
  • Posts: 1884
  • Total likes: 725
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
  • Location: israel
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #103 on: June 15, 2023, 07:03:40 PM »
That doesn’t mean anyone else has to hear you though
when the guy driving on shabbos will have tens of billions of dollars at work convincing u and everyone around u that the best thing possible for u is to drive on shabbos, and will have conscripted 50% of the worlds noise makers into his campaign of convincing, including getting the president of the usa to hang the "drive on shabbos flag" in front of the white house, and has billboards in every city explaining how beautiful it is to drive on shabbos, and has arranged parades in every city with thousands of ppl dressed up as "shabbos drivers", and created a worldwide holiday for a month called the "drive on shabbos month"
then i believe that the one u quoted can agree that ppl have to HEAR LOUDLY that WE DONT DRIVE ON SHABBOS and that those who are so devoted to convincing u to drive on shabbos are illegitimate and sick

Offline ellemeno

  • Dansdeals Bronze Elite
  • *
  • Join Date: May 2017
  • Posts: 29
  • Total likes: 41
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
  • Location: Brooklyn
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #104 on: June 15, 2023, 07:16:24 PM »
There is an “official trend” to go OTD, and for decades our community has been working on figuring out how to on the one hand keep it 100% clear to our kids that the OTD lifestyle is not for us, but on the other hand remain compassionate to OTD kids and in turn keep the door open for them to come back, even if we perceive that they’re shoving their OTD status in our face (which happens sometimes, unfortunately). I believe we’ve found a decent balance under the circumstances.

I suspect that over the next few decades we’ll have similar work on our hands with the issues that we’re discussing, and I’m sure as a community we’ll find the right balance. Something tells me, though, that the right balance doesn’t include feeling hateful towards them, and rather feeling pity that they’ve turned to this.
Unlike general OTD (and lashon hara etc..) this one has an agenda of 'acceptance' that is used as a codeword for "embrace"

Offline Alexsei

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Sep 2011
  • Posts: 5931
  • Total likes: 1507
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 5
    • View Profile
    • Travel & Kivrei Zadikim
  • Location: Truckistan
  • Programs: COVID-23
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #105 on: June 15, 2023, 07:18:25 PM »
TL;DR we are nearing mashiach
Jews ≠ Zionists
Palestinians ≠ Hamas
Satmar ≠ SatmarHQ

Offline AsherO

  • Global Moderator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime 30K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 31159
  • Total likes: 8075
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 79
    • View Profile
  • Location: NYC
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #106 on: June 15, 2023, 07:35:49 PM »
כל המשמח כלה וכלה זוכה לחמישה קוּלות
DDF FFB (Forum From Birth)

Offline chevron

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Dec 2013
  • Posts: 2573
  • Total likes: 546
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #107 on: June 15, 2023, 08:25:45 PM »
Every girl dreams of a wedding. More so in the Jewish world.

Maybe this is their dream and it just happens that they don't swim the same way every other female does but, they still dream of a wedding this way .

So, let them have it.

There was no twisting and distorting halacha in the kiddushim... I thought it weird that they have a mechitza but oh well ...

If this bothers you, I've got news for you .  Like the gay frum dude who mislead his straight frum wife before marriage...

I'm actually curious, is that even a kosher kiddushim?

Man there's so much messed up twisted stuff out there, yes even in Lakewood and all the holy cities that's way worse than 2 girls doing what they grew up dreaming.


Offline liosac

  • Dansdeals Gold Elite
  • ***
  • Join Date: Jan 2023
  • Posts: 121
  • Total likes: 391
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
  • Location: Lakewood
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #108 on: June 15, 2023, 08:50:05 PM »
Every girl dreams of a wedding. More so in the Jewish world.

Maybe this is their dream and it just happens that they don't swim the same way every other female does but, they still dream of a wedding this way .

So, let them have it.

There was no twisting and distorting halacha in the kiddushim...
What do you call this?
אסור וממעשה מצרים הוא שהוזהרנו עליו שנאמר כמעשה ארץ מצרים לא תעשו
אמרו חכמים מה היו עושים איש נושא איש ואשה נושא אשה

Offline m65

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jul 2012
  • Posts: 1884
  • Total likes: 725
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
  • Location: israel
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #109 on: June 15, 2023, 08:52:48 PM »
Every girl dreams of a wedding. More so in the Jewish world.

Maybe this is their dream and it just happens that they don't swim the same way every other female does but, they still dream of a wedding this way .

So, let them have it.

There was no twisting and distorting halacha in the kiddushim... I thought it weird that they have a mechitza but oh well ...

If this bothers you, I've got news for you .  Like the gay frum dude who mislead his straight frum wife before marriage...

I'm actually curious, is that even a kosher kiddushim?

Man there's so much messed up twisted stuff out there, yes even in Lakewood and all the holy cities that's way worse than 2 girls doing what they grew up dreaming.
i once asked my 4 yr old daughter the week that she was shaboss mommy, if she thinks she might have a baby while she is shaboss mommy.
she laughed and told me very confidently "only real mommy's can have babies"

i dont mind little girls having fantasies about being kalla's, but when they are convinced that its real, and start renting halls, ordering a photographer, and find tens of adults to come join them while all being convinced that they are real kalla's then "houston, we got a problem"

Online imayid2

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jun 2022
  • Posts: 2397
  • Total likes: 2289
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: NJ
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #110 on: June 15, 2023, 08:53:49 PM »
Every girl dreams of a wedding. More so in the Jewish world.

Maybe this is their dream and it just happens that they don't swim the same way every other female does but, they still dream of a wedding this way .

So, let them have it.
Actually no, let’s not.

the gay frum dude who mislead his straight frum wife before marriage...

I'm actually curious, is that even a kosher kiddushim?
Good chance that it’s not.

Offline PlatinumGuy

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Apr 2011
  • Posts: 15105
  • Total likes: 2441
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 11
    • View Profile
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #111 on: June 15, 2023, 09:07:19 PM »
It's a new era. Homosexuality will likely be the biggest challenge of our generation. 15% of Americans identify as LGBT and 50% have considered a same-sex relationship - numbers that have been growing at a stable rate for decades.

The more it is normalized, the more people are prone to develop the temptation and orientation. We won't be able to keep it out forever.
״וזה כלל גדול: שישנא אדם כל דבר שקר. וכל מה שיוסיף שנאה לדרכי השקר – יוסיף אהבה לתורה.״ - אורחות צדיקים

Online aygart

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 18895
  • Total likes: 14973
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 14
    • View Profile
    • Lower Watt Energy Brokers
  • Programs: www.lowerwatt.com
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #112 on: June 15, 2023, 09:13:35 PM »
Hey I wish this thread would just get deleted what good can come out of this discussion anyhow
Feelings don't care about your facts

Online imayid2

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jun 2022
  • Posts: 2397
  • Total likes: 2289
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: NJ
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #113 on: June 15, 2023, 09:16:25 PM »
Rabbi Chaim Rapoport is always worth the listen.

(You must have an account to listen, and in my experience there is a bug in their system that when you click on a lecture without being logged, it won’t let you access that specific lecture for a couple days. At least from a phone. So you want to be logged in an account at Torahinmotion.org before you hit the link below.)

https://torahinmotion.org/system/files/podcast/rapoport-same_sex_attraction-part_3.mp3

Offline Alexsei

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Sep 2011
  • Posts: 5931
  • Total likes: 1507
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 5
    • View Profile
    • Travel & Kivrei Zadikim
  • Location: Truckistan
  • Programs: COVID-23
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #114 on: June 15, 2023, 09:18:55 PM »
It's a new era. Homosexuality will likely be the biggest challenge of our generation. 15% of Americans identify as LGBT and 50% have considered a same-sex relationship - numbers that have been growing at a stable rate for decades.

The more it is normalized, the more people are prone to develop the temptation and orientation. We won't be able to keep it out forever.

What do you all think from where is this coming from? who is sponsoring all this education? who is the driving force behind all these radical changes in what we and our children see on these topics? It is very simple and it is the same one who came up with the idea of the בנות מדין.  The yetzer hora hasn't declared bankruptcy yet, and he doesn't plan to until mashiach comes, אלהיהם של אלו שונא זימה was and is one of his strongest weapons. There's nothing surprising here
Jews ≠ Zionists
Palestinians ≠ Hamas
Satmar ≠ SatmarHQ

Offline m65

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jul 2012
  • Posts: 1884
  • Total likes: 725
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
  • Location: israel
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #115 on: June 15, 2023, 09:20:38 PM »
P.S. For such discussions, I am highly grateful for DDF's relative anonymity. I could not possibly say such things on social media under my real name, for fear of being viewed as a bigot by people who I work with, etc.
i understand your fear, i cant say i would act any different in your shoes

this is precisely the havoc that they are wreaking on our society, that  normal healthy ppl are terrified to voice their normal healthy opinion in public, for fear of losing their livelihood

every one of those smiling at the camera guests is playing a crucial part in promoting this atrocity

as i stated before, i dont have enough yiras shamayim to despise their personal sins as much as i should
but i HATE and DESPISE all those smiling ppl who are continuing to promote this as normal

they, much more than the mentally ill 2 little girls, are guilty for @Yehudaa and so many others' fear of just being normal and being open about it
they are forcing us all into the closet...

Offline YitzyS

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jan 2015
  • Posts: 5752
  • Total likes: 14012
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 34
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: Lakewood, NJ
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #116 on: June 15, 2023, 09:26:34 PM »
The main thing we must do is to be proud to say that it's NOT okay to live that type of life. G-d gave us the world to pass it on to children. It's a sin to live like that. I am not ashamed to say that, no matter how much the secular world would have me think so.

G-d made this world. He made me and He made you. I must abide by His laws and so must you. He is the one who said it's a sin, not me. And if He said it's a sin, you better believe that I will have no qualms about proclaiming it publicly, even if people will take offence.

Most of us, even in the more frum communities, have been impacted by the secular mentality, and we crawl into our shell and refuse to voice the truth on this. The Rambam says that a person is effected by his surroundings, whether he likes it or not. We have become scared to look people in the eye and say, "This is wrong, no matter how many times you try to say otherwise." And if someone will lose his job, he must ask a rov for guidance, not just assume that the safest route is the best route.

Even the most staunch conservative, like Ben Shapiro, will often say "I don't care what you do in your bedroom." But that is absolutely wrong. If someone is beating up your father, would you not care - if he is doing it in his own bedroom? This lifestyle is a sin against G-d. It is an abomination, and someone who does it deserves to die. G-d does not want me, living in America, to kill that person, but it doesn't change the fact that living like that, in your bedroom, is an act against G-d and you forfeit your right to life. And saying "I don't believe in G-d" is not an excuse, because you cannot be a real thinking person who is true to his inner knowledge and believe that his world was created and continues to run without a Divine Creator.

אלקים עשה את האדם ישר והמה בקשו חשבונות רבים

If someone is born with tendencies to these things, there are people who could guide him how to deal with it. It obviously can be a tremendous Nisayon, and I'm not trying to belittle it, but that doesn't mean that a person is allowed to do an Aveirah, no matter how hard it may be. And if someone does the Aveirah, he is a sinner, not a poor marginalized suffering human.

Since when are we scared to stand up tall and defend Hashem's commandments?

Offline Abebee

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Nov 2015
  • Posts: 6403
  • Total likes: 599
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 735
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: New York
  • Programs: National EE
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #117 on: June 15, 2023, 09:26:40 PM »
Hey I wish this thread would just get deleted what good can come out of this discussion anyhow
Strongly disagree! Nothing good may come out of this thread. But this topic as a whole needs to be addressed by all rabamin. Not making orginzations in 10 years from now how parents should deal with this issue if god forbid it happens to them. But get ahead of it now, like it was mentioned upthead from the way it looks now this will be the yetzer hora for the next generation.

Througout history we have been attack both physically & spiritually. The next attack against us looks like a spiritual one. And boy does it look bad. Starting with education in yeshiva and ending with pride flags hanging everywhere.

Shoving it under the rug is not the right approach as history has shown us.
« Last Edit: June 15, 2023, 09:29:49 PM by Abebee »

Offline Yehudaa

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Mar 2018
  • Posts: 3750
  • Total likes: 2543
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 111
    • View Profile
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #118 on: June 15, 2023, 09:59:04 PM »
they, much more than the mentally ill 2 little girls, are guilty for @Yehudaa and so many others' fear of just being normal and being open about it
they are forcing us all into the closet...
Although I agree with you that the people at that wedding are guilty, they're not the reason I'm afraid say anything publicly. The people I'm concerned about are not in our community.

Offline Dan

  • Administrator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime 50K Diamond Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 69346
  • Total likes: 17882
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 16442
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: CLE
  • Programs: UA GS, AA EXP, DL Dirt, Hyatt Glob, Fairmont Lifetime Plat, DD Diamond, Blocked By @NeriaKraus
Re: About that "jewish" wedding
« Reply #119 on: June 15, 2023, 10:39:24 PM »






Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.