Wow didnt expect this on DDF, glad I saw this in AM (before praying)
If I could get my Rabbi and Chavrusa Eily Smith here, that would be incredible.
I didnt get to read thorough all but I'll start. Even after I became religious again, most days tefillah was tefiliin, shma, shmona esray.
Sadly this seems to be very normal. I suffer from terrible ADD and was a wreck for years and had no patience saying pisukey dezimra etc.
A few things changed that, life style changes and the book on prayer by Rabbi Munk, also I use the Koren Sacks Siddur and Rabbbi JB soloveitchik siddur, they just came out with Rabbi kook siddur, i'll get that.
I was raised using a chabad siddur but we davened at young israel, chabad siddur doesnt do it for me, would love to see Rabbi Sacks andd Shteinzaltz put one out maybe jointly, but chabad scholarship is terrible
I just have no patience for minyan, prayer is avodah sh'balev, I just dont like the shull. People treat the shull as a social club and frankly I dont. Im not saying shull should be like kol nidrei every shabbat but dont treat it like purim.
Thee fundamental problem is that people that do go to shull, often are empty, the prayers mean nothing to them.
My advice? Get a Koren siddur, pray in english