Author Topic: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread (Read 297586 times)

ushdadude · « **Reply #1600 on:** May 10, 2024, 02:04:03 PM »

My family says I snore but I don't think I do so I stayed up all night to listen.

HudZ · « **Reply #1601 on:** May 10, 2024, 02:10:01 PM »

Quote from: ushdadude on May 10, 2024, 02:04:03 PM

My family says I snore but I don't think I do so I stayed up all night to listen.

I just tell them, Nah, I dream I'm a tractor.

DaasTora · « **Reply #1602 on:** May 10, 2024, 02:10:08 PM »

Quote from: ushdadude on May 10, 2024, 02:04:03 PM

My family says I snore but I don't think I do so I stayed up all night to listen.

Relatable to him https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Xcd7gaS4rS3bGqqCBSwu5uTEcCd3P5Jl/view?usp=drivesdk

HudZ · « **Reply #1603 on:** May 12, 2024, 11:24:14 PM »

What does the Queen Bee tell her children when they don't behave?

Bee Hive!

Something Fishy · « **Reply #1604 on:** May 16, 2024, 01:15:41 AM »

The keynote speaker arrived late to the botox convention, but nobody raised an eyebrow.

DaasTora · « **Reply #1605 on:** May 30, 2024, 07:38:59 PM »

Why did Trump hire an interior decorator for his cell?

Because he wanted it to have the "best bars, tremendous bars!"

gutlib · « **Reply #1606 on:** May 30, 2024, 11:41:03 PM »

what is the difference between a bocher who learns in chevron yeshivah, and a chabad?

Chabad wears a hat to their nose, and the chevroner has a nose up to his hat.

(I hope no one takes it personnel)

DaasTora · « **Reply #1607 on:** May 31, 2024, 04:52:24 PM »

BREAKING

a glass under the chuppah is to remember the churban.

HudZ · « **Reply #1608 on:** June 07, 2024, 12:23:01 AM »

Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?

Cause then it'll be a foot!

YitzyS · « **Reply #1609 on:** June 07, 2024, 12:31:33 AM »

Quote from: DaasTora on May 31, 2024, 04:52:24 PM

BREAKING

a glass under the chuppah is to remember the churban.

MISLEADING

someone is actually pretty easy if you use multiple lines.

mevinyavin · « **Reply #1610 on:** June 07, 2024, 01:31:31 AM »

One Purimi Koton I put a sign on the door to the Beis Medrash.
It said:
הודאה דחופה
המשך בצד שני

and nothing else. The Americans were rolling (I get the feeling they are more used to puns), and the Brits and Israelis didn't get it at all.

HudZ · « **Reply #1611 on:** June 07, 2024, 01:42:20 AM »

This reminds me of the sign I once saw in a Shul.

WE TALK DURING DAVENING
Only to Hashem Yisbarach!

YitzyS · « **Reply #1612 on:** June 07, 2024, 02:14:31 AM »

Quote from: HudZ on June 07, 2024, 01:42:20 AM

This reminds me of the sign I once saw in Barditchuv.

WE TALK DURING DAVENING
Only to Hashem Yisbarach!

FTFY

Yehuda57 · « **Reply #1613 on:** June 07, 2024, 09:55:05 AM »

Quote from: mevinyavin on June 07, 2024, 01:31:31 AM

One Purimi Koton I put a sign on the door to the Beis Medrash.
It said:
הודאה דחופה
המשך בצד שני

and nothing else. The Americans were rolling (I get the feeling they are more used to puns), and the Brits and Israelis didn't get it at all.

Americans are more used to puns than Brits? Yeah....um...no.

NTorch · « **Reply #1614 on:** June 07, 2024, 03:10:04 PM »

HudZ · « **Reply #1615 on:** June 07, 2024, 03:15:55 PM »

Quote from: NTorch on June 07, 2024, 03:10:04 PM

Welcome Back

Randomex · « **Reply #1616 on:** June 07, 2024, 07:19:08 PM »

Quote from: YitzyS on June 07, 2024, 12:31:33 AM

MISLEADING

someone is actually pretty easy if you use multiple lines.

God's Number is 26

in the Quarter-Turn Metric

NTorch · « **Reply #1617 on:** June 09, 2024, 01:29:32 PM »

Or at pesach time, pre shredded marror.

NTorch · « **Reply #1618 on:** June 10, 2024, 10:55:35 AM »

HudZ · « **Reply #1619 on:** June 10, 2024, 12:31:55 PM »

Why don't cheesecakes like jokes?

Because they're always too cheesy.