Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?

[biobook]

As a community, we focus more on trying to contain or put out fires rather than prevent them.

עס ברענט

[Lurker]

עס ברענט

And therefore we're focusing on bandaids, like picture initiatives.

[Dan]

And therefore we're focusing on bandaids, like picture initiatives.

Bandaid?
More like a nothingburger. A distraction at best.

[Dan]

You think anecdotal is going to convince @biobook ? You must be new here.

Certainly not stating anything as fact or trying to convince anyone. Just what I see happening.
Maybe it only happens to my friends and family and I'm the problem

[yelped]

Certainly not stating anything as fact or trying to convince anyone. Just what I see happening.
Maybe it only happens to my friends and family and I'm the problem

I think everyone has seen that to a certain extent. No one is saying everyone is like that, but as a general rule it seems to be the case.

[Yehuda57]

These sound like easily researchable questions.  I would expect a community that puts such an emphasis on marriage to be more proactive in learning what factors facilitate and impede that goal, rather than relying on anecdotes.

We did think long and hard and decided the biggest issue is whether or not to send pictures with the resume

[biobook]

If I relied on the shidduch system, I would never have married my wife. You will have to work harder to put yourself out there, but it's worth it. Don't be shy about asking friends if they or their spouses have any ideas.

I wonder if it might help some people if stories like this were publicized more widely.  Not necessarily your particular story, but some way to let those who are feeling unsuccessful in the shidduch system hear about those who found their bashert through alternative methods.  Like an edited volume, with each chapter telling the story of another happily married couple who found each other without a typical shadchan - perhaps described first from the point of view of one spouse, then the other. 

[pbf]

And/or of people that didn't get married at 20 and (gasp) their life is fine and dandy!

[biobook]

And/or of people that didn't get married at 20 and (gasp) their life is fine and dandy!

Good idea, but that's a different book.

[Dan]

And/or of people that didn't get married at 20 and (gasp) their life is fine and dandy!

We need an option between "greatest sport ever" and "Henche"

Impossible.

[mmgfarb]

Alol, do you have that post bookmarked or something? How did you remember that?

[Yehuda57]

Alol, do you have that post bookmarked or something? How did you remember that?

I have a memory like an Eleffant.

[mmgfarb]

Na, I'd rather just believe that @Dan has a post of mine bookmarked, thanks.

[aygart]

We did think long and hard and decided the biggest issue is whether or not to send pictures with the resume

Tshuva begins with small steps.

[Yehuda57]

Na, I'd rather just believe that @Dan has a post of mine bookmarked, thanks.

Would you rather be bookmarked in his browser or in his head?

[mmgfarb]

Would you rather be bookmarked in his browser or in his head?

Ah, fair point. Your ability to logic is, once again, proven superior.

[mmgfarb]

Tshuva begins with small steps.

While I do think there are situations where it's fair for a guy to ask for a picture, I can get behind an initiative to stop the sending pictures as a default. This 30 day thing backed my the Meron tragedy, while started with good intentions, just seems like virtue signaling topped with a nice little dose of gas lighting. I'm open to my mind being changed about it though.

[Yehuda57]

Ah, fair point. Your ability to logic is, once again, proven superior.

See, now this is worth bookmarking

[mmgfarb]

See, now this is worth bookmarking

New signature?

[ExGingi]

New signature?

Is my badge under attack?