Author Topic: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?  (Read 23458 times)

Offline S209

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #60 on: March 08, 2021, 05:42:38 PM »
Would have spent all my miles and time flying around the world.
Is this a brag? :D
Quote from: YitzyS
Quotes in a signature is annoying, as it comes across as an independent post.

Offline Yonah

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #61 on: March 08, 2021, 06:00:03 PM »
Not in Yeshivish circles. In Chassidish circles, if pictures are shared, which is the exception rather than the rule, it goes both ways.

So help me out, why is this the norm? why don't people challenge it. As an outsider, if a potential shidduch asked for my daughter's picture I'd ask for their son's picture too. Would that be something that would mark my daughter as undesirable for even my asking?

Offline Dan

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #62 on: March 08, 2021, 06:00:59 PM »
So help me out, why is this the norm? why don't people challenge it. As an outsider, if a potential shidduch asked for my daughter's picture I'd ask for their son's picture too. Would that be something that would mark my daughter as undesirable for even my asking?
Makes no sense to me not to go both ways.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline yelped

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #63 on: March 08, 2021, 06:17:51 PM »
So help me out, why is this the norm? why don't people challenge it. As an outsider, if a potential shidduch asked for my daughter's picture I'd ask for their son's picture too. Would that be something that would mark my daughter as undesirable for even my asking?
If you're keeping up with the hock, it is being challenged right now actually.

Offline etech0

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #64 on: March 08, 2021, 06:21:57 PM »
If you're keeping up with the hock, it is being challenged right now actually.
And by hock we refer to Mishpacha magazine
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline Dan

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #65 on: March 08, 2021, 06:22:25 PM »
And by hock we refer to Mishpacha magazine
TLDR?
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline Dan

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #66 on: March 08, 2021, 06:22:51 PM »
Is this a brag? :D
Have the ratios of girls to boys changed in the past decade?
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #67 on: March 08, 2021, 06:25:39 PM »
Have the ratios of girls to boys changed in the past decade?

Yes. These days, you would have run out of miles before finding Mimi.
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Offline PlatinumGuy

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #68 on: March 08, 2021, 06:33:59 PM »
״וזה כלל גדול: שישנא אדם כל דבר שקר. וכל מה שיוסיף שנאה לדרכי השקר – יוסיף אהבה לתורה.״ - אורחות צדיקים

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #69 on: March 08, 2021, 06:40:42 PM »


That gives me simultaneous feelings of relief and dread.
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Offline AsherO

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #70 on: March 08, 2021, 06:42:28 PM »


*eyeroll* Why don’t they just provide a script for the boy/girl to read?...

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #71 on: March 08, 2021, 06:43:53 PM »
*eyeroll* Why don’t they just provide a script for the boy/girl to read?...

Who needs conversation? All you need is a checklist. Chemistry can come later. Or not. Whatever. It's overrated.
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Offline AsherO

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #72 on: March 08, 2021, 06:45:48 PM »
Who needs conversation? All you need is a checklist. Chemistry can come later. Or not. Whatever. It's overrated.

The whole meeting thing is gzeiras hakasuv, we already quadruple verified the checklist during “research”, when we found out the boxers next get crumpled.

Offline aygart

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #73 on: March 08, 2021, 06:48:47 PM »
Who needs conversation? All you need is a checklist. Chemistry can come later. Or not. Whatever. It's overrated.
You aren't finding that out in 5-10 dates anyhow. The whole dating thing is overrated. Either you put proper effort into your marriage and the dates are barely needed or you don't and they barely help.
Feelings don't care about your facts

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #74 on: March 08, 2021, 06:50:59 PM »
You aren't finding that out in 5-10 dates anyhow. The whole dating thing is overrated. Either you put proper effort into your marriage and the dates are barely needed or you don't and they barely help.

Mostly true. I figured out quite a bit during the dating period.
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Offline th0306

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #75 on: March 08, 2021, 06:51:16 PM »
You aren't finding that out in 5-10 dates anyhow. The whole dating thing is overrated. Either you put proper effort into your marriage and the dates are barely needed or you don't and they barely help.
+1

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #76 on: March 08, 2021, 06:53:16 PM »
You aren't finding that out in 5-10 dates anyhow. The whole dating thing is overrated. Either you put proper effort into your marriage and the dates are barely needed or you don't and they barely help.

+1000 I learned the most about (myself and) the people I dated by marrying my DW :D

Offline aygart

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #77 on: March 08, 2021, 06:56:27 PM »
Mostly true. I figured out quite a bit during the dating period.
That is why I wrote "barely"
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline shwarmabob

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #78 on: March 08, 2021, 07:34:36 PM »
I assume that guys share pictures as well as girls - is that correct?
Is it just as likely that I guy would be turned down because of looks than a girl?
Almost all shadchanim asked for a picture of my daughter. One of them apologetically said that she disagrees with this but the boys wouldn't consider a date before seeing a pic.
In turn my DD also asked for pictures...

Online zh cohen

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Re: Would this change the shidduch picture conversation?
« Reply #79 on: March 08, 2021, 07:35:00 PM »
*eyeroll* Why don’t they just provide a script for the boy/girl to read?...

This is just a list of potential conversation starters.