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Quote from: newaccount on January 12, 2022, 11:48:31 AM
I created an account to say this

I am a survivor of abuse

I tried to type up a longer, more detailed post but it got too hard. The bottom line is the following

There's no such thing as universal feelings, reactions, desires, needs that all victims share. Each one is an individual who suffered alone and carries the unique scars that stay with them and each one will react to future situations in life in their own way.

Therefore, there is no single response to abuse that will leave all victims feeling safe, secure, validated, supported, closure and everything else all the well meaning people here want to give them.

However, I think there is a single response that would leave all victims feeling further pain and trauma and that is "It can't be."

Rabbi Shimon Russell - How to Safeguard and Protect our Children

https://youtu.be/fefqSvXf0JI


« Last edited by Yehuda57 on January 12, 2022, 05:44:00 PM »

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Author Topic: Chaim Walder dies  (Read 132591 times)

Offline joe1234

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #680 on: January 01, 2022, 10:32:52 PM »
Quote from: TimT on January 01, 2022, 10:25:39 PM

He still should have got a reputable widely accepted beis din involved…
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Offline Euclid

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #681 on: January 01, 2022, 10:38:41 PM »
Quote from: joe1234 on January 01, 2022, 10:31:55 PM
No
I guess let's make sure we have the same vocabulary: what does "reputable" mean?
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Offline joe1234

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #682 on: January 01, 2022, 10:41:56 PM »
Quote from: Euclid on January 01, 2022, 10:38:41 PM
I guess let's make sure we have the same vocabulary: what does "reputable" mean?
Definitely not someone who is known to be controversial. Let’s start with that!
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Offline aygart

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #683 on: January 01, 2022, 10:44:01 PM »
Quote from: PlatinumGuy on January 01, 2022, 09:39:46 PM
Simple chauvinistic sexism IMHO.
That is why male victims got the same thing or worse?
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Offline Euclid

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #684 on: January 01, 2022, 10:50:48 PM »
Quote from: joe1234 on January 01, 2022, 10:41:56 PM
Definitely not someone who is known to be controversial. Let’s start with that!
Why do *you* think he's controversial?
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Offline TimT

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #685 on: January 01, 2022, 10:56:51 PM »
Quote from: joe1234 on January 01, 2022, 10:32:52 PM
He still should have got a reputable widely accepted beis din involved…
You don’t think he considers himself reputable ? Then why even have one in the first place ?
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Offline joe1234

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #686 on: January 01, 2022, 10:57:53 PM »
Quote from: Euclid on January 01, 2022, 10:50:48 PM
Why do *you* think he's controversial?
Don’t know the ins and outs… but that is definitely common knowledge in Israel…
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Offline WonderingYid

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #687 on: January 01, 2022, 11:00:26 PM »
No Beis Din. Go straight to law enforcement. Find me a BD that everyone will listen to in regard to money. There's always gonne be people not trusting that BD. Same with this.
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Online Yehuda57

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #688 on: January 01, 2022, 11:02:14 PM »
Quote from: Yehuda57 on March 15, 2019, 02:28:37 PM
Post tragedy threads on DDF have the sensitivity of an elephant walking over potato chips.
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Offline joe1234

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #689 on: January 01, 2022, 11:41:48 PM »
Quote from: TimT on January 01, 2022, 10:56:51 PM
You don’t think he considers himself reputable ? Then why even have one in the first place ?
I don’t know what he considers himself.. but if he doesn’t know that he is controversial, then he is delusional… on a local level if both sides agree to go to him then it’s on them and it’s fine, but something this sensitive should be done by a BD that is widely accepted. That’s the only fair thing for the victims…
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Offline TimT

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #690 on: January 01, 2022, 11:45:08 PM »
Quote from: joe1234 on January 01, 2022, 11:41:48 PM
That’s the only fair thing for the victims…
Apparently the victims don’t agree with you.
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Offline randomjay

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #691 on: January 01, 2022, 11:46:07 PM »
Quote from: WonderingYid on January 01, 2022, 11:00:26 PM
No Beis Din. Go straight to law enforcement. Find me a BD that everyone will listen to in regard to money. There's always gonne be people not trusting that BD. Same with this.
Amazing how naive people are thinking that going to authorities is such a simple perfect solution. Without a rock solid convincing case they won’t even look at your case. And when they do, the accused lawyers up, and drags the case years, and without convincing a judge or jury without a reasonable doubt they go free.

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Offline joe1234

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #692 on: January 01, 2022, 11:51:17 PM »
Quote from: TimT on January 01, 2022, 11:45:08 PM
Apparently the victims don’t agree with you.
How so?
Which victims? The ones he claimed he met? This is circular reasoning…
Even if the alleged victims thought it was a good idea, he should have known better… I’m sure the victims are not happy with all the confusion going on now, which could have easily been avoidable had this been done by a widely accepted BD.
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Online Yehuda57

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #693 on: January 02, 2022, 12:34:01 AM »
Where is this mythical Beis Din that everyone loves?
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Online yelped

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #694 on: January 02, 2022, 12:37:03 AM »
Quote from: Yehuda57 on January 02, 2022, 12:34:01 AM
Where is this mythical Beis Din that everyone loves?
The one with me and you on there. We are still open to one more DDFer.
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Online Yehuda57

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #695 on: January 02, 2022, 12:39:43 AM »
Quote from: yelped on January 02, 2022, 12:37:03 AM
The one with me and you on there. We are still open to one more DDFer.

To paraphrase groucho, I wouldn't sit on any beis din that would have me as a dayan.
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Offline AsherO

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #696 on: January 02, 2022, 12:40:27 AM »
Quote from: Yehuda57 on January 02, 2022, 12:34:01 AM
Where is this mythical Beis Din that everyone loves?
Quote from: yelped on January 02, 2022, 12:37:03 AM
The one with me and you on there. We are still open to one more DDFer.

Y’all are the last people I want to be judged by. Isn’t that the entire point of an anonymous online forum?
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Offline Euclid

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #697 on: January 02, 2022, 12:47:09 AM »
Quote from: Yehuda57 on January 02, 2022, 12:34:01 AM
Where is this mythical Beis Din that everyone loves?
Definitely not Texas
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Offline CountValentine

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #698 on: January 02, 2022, 12:48:34 AM »
Quote from: yelped on January 02, 2022, 12:37:03 AM
The one with me and you on there. We are still open to one more DDFer.
:)
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Offline aygart

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #699 on: January 02, 2022, 12:49:50 AM »
Quote from: yelped on January 02, 2022, 12:37:03 AM
The one with me and you on there. We are still open to one more DDFer.
ושניהם בוררים להם עוד אחד
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