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Quote from: newaccount on January 12, 2022, 11:48:31 AM
I created an account to say this

I am a survivor of abuse

I tried to type up a longer, more detailed post but it got too hard. The bottom line is the following

There's no such thing as universal feelings, reactions, desires, needs that all victims share. Each one is an individual who suffered alone and carries the unique scars that stay with them and each one will react to future situations in life in their own way.

Therefore, there is no single response to abuse that will leave all victims feeling safe, secure, validated, supported, closure and everything else all the well meaning people here want to give them.

However, I think there is a single response that would leave all victims feeling further pain and trauma and that is "It can't be."

Rabbi Shimon Russell - How to Safeguard and Protect our Children

https://youtu.be/fefqSvXf0JI


« Last edited by Yehuda57 on January 12, 2022, 05:44:00 PM »

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Author Topic: Chaim Walder dies  (Read 132564 times)

Offline Dan

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #520 on: December 30, 2021, 09:47:30 AM »
Quote from: Yehuda57 on December 30, 2021, 09:24:07 AM
https://twitter.com/avitalrachel/status/1476556755316486151

Thousands of words have been spilled in this thread speaking about the theoretical responses of abuse victims. Now real blood has been spilled.

"Let’s talk more about Shifra Horowitz and less about Chayim Walder."
Just awful. No words.  :'( :'( :'(
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Offline ExGingi

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #521 on: December 30, 2021, 09:47:52 AM »
Quote from: aygart on December 30, 2021, 09:40:16 AM
Be careful what you say based on emotion and negius.

Thank you. I am.
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I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline randomjay

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #522 on: December 30, 2021, 09:51:48 AM »
Quote from: aygart on December 30, 2021, 12:02:18 AM
That stood out. To call him a צדיק is ridiculous.

The Yeted article stated ז״ל not זצ״ל.

Also very important to note, if you read Rav Eliyahu psak carefully you will note that they didn’t hear testimony FROM 22 victims, only ABOUT 22 victims.
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Offline aygart

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #523 on: December 30, 2021, 09:52:25 AM »
Quote from: ExGingi on December 30, 2021, 09:47:52 AM
Thank you. I am.
Apparently not careful enough.
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Offline aygart

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #524 on: December 30, 2021, 09:54:19 AM »
Quote from: randomjay on December 30, 2021, 09:51:48 AM
The Yeted article stated ז״ל not זצ״ל.

-1
2nd paragraph המנוח זצ"ל
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Offline Yehuda57

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #525 on: December 30, 2021, 10:07:31 AM »
Quote from: randomjay on December 30, 2021, 09:51:48 AM
The Yeted article stated ז״ל not זצ״ל.
A) That's hardly much better. B) it's wrong
Quote from: yandmk on December 29, 2021, 11:02:22 AM
[/img]

Quote from: randomjay on December 30, 2021, 09:51:48 AM

Also very important to note, if you read Rav Eliyahu psak carefully you will note that they didn’t hear testimony FROM 22 victims, only ABOUT 22 victims.

One of them just killed herself, so can you kindly just stop.
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Offline shimino1

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #526 on: December 30, 2021, 10:12:26 AM »
Quote from: Yehuda57 on December 30, 2021, 10:07:31 AM
One of them just killed herself, so can you kindly just stop.
Source?
Not doubting the story, just want to read about it.
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Offline AsherO

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #527 on: December 30, 2021, 10:13:47 AM »
Quote from: shimino1 on December 30, 2021, 10:12:26 AM
Source?
Not doubting the story, just want to read about it.

A tweet was posted upthread
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Offline yelped

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #528 on: December 30, 2021, 10:16:00 AM »
Unbelievable how small minded some people are. Literally missing the forest for the trees.
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Offline yelped

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #529 on: December 30, 2021, 10:32:57 AM »




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Offline AsherO

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #530 on: December 30, 2021, 10:37:19 AM »
Quote from: yelped on December 30, 2021, 10:32:57 AM


This almost comes across as encouraging other witnesses to follow suit.
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Offline CountValentine

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #531 on: December 30, 2021, 10:39:57 AM »
Quote from: yelped on December 30, 2021, 10:16:00 AM
Literally missing the forest for the trees.
This isn't about this one person or even all the victims whom I have no words for.
I wish I could say something that would get some of you to open your eyes but unfortunately it would just make things worse.
To some of you it might seem like a losing battle you are fighting but it is battle you must not give up on!!!   
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Offline aygart

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #532 on: December 30, 2021, 10:40:26 AM »
Quote from: Yehuda57 on December 30, 2021, 09:24:07 AM


Thousands of words have been spilled in this thread speaking about the theoretical responses of abuse victims. Now real blood has been spilled.

"Let’s talk more about Shifra Horowitz and less about Chayim Walder."


 :'(
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Offline YitzyS

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #533 on: December 30, 2021, 10:50:14 AM »
The Wikipedia page on CW has an extensive section with the reaction for the Chareidi community, including many of the quotes cited on this thread
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Offline yelped

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #534 on: December 30, 2021, 11:01:09 AM »
Quote from: YitzyS on December 30, 2021, 10:50:14 AM
The Wikipedia page on CW has an extensive section with the reaction for the Chareidi community, including many of the quotes cited on this thread
Some shameful whitewashing.
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Offline YitzyS

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #535 on: December 30, 2021, 11:03:43 AM »
Quote from: yelped on December 30, 2021, 11:01:09 AM
Some shameful whitewashing.
Whether you are passionate about something or not, I don't think it's right to call something said by gedolim "shameful." Yes, most of the gedolim quoted strongly condemned him, but if a gadol feels otherwise, I don't think it's proper to use the word "shameful".

Not that I don't agree with your sentiment, but I think the wording is improper.
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Offline yelped

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #536 on: December 30, 2021, 11:20:50 AM »
Quote from: YitzyS on December 30, 2021, 11:03:43 AM
Whether you are passionate about something or not, I don't think it's right to call something said by gedolim "shameful." Yes, most of the gedolim quoted strongly condemned him, but if a gadol feels otherwise, I don't think it's proper to use the word "shameful".

Not that I don't agree with your sentiment, but I think the wording is improper.
I wasn't referring to those quotes (which, btw, when it comes to R'Gershon Eidelstein Shlita was horribly misquoted). I was referring to the Yaated, Chadrei Chadorim, etc.
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Offline YitzyS

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #537 on: December 30, 2021, 11:27:05 AM »
Quote from: yelped on December 30, 2021, 11:20:50 AM
I wasn't referring to those quotes (which, btw, when it comes to R'Gershon Eidelstein Shlita was horribly misquoted). I was referring to the Yaated, Chadrei Chadorim, etc.
Sorry for misjudging.
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Offline aygart

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #538 on: December 30, 2021, 11:35:58 AM »
One big issue here is that the "chareidi community" is basically writing off the victims when they are left to feel that the only ones who will acknowledge their pain is a group outside the community. That only compounds their pain. Besides the blow of the actual abuse they are again left with nowhere to go without leaving the community.
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Offline yelped

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Re: Chaim Walder dies
« Reply #539 on: December 30, 2021, 11:36:10 AM »
Quote from: YitzyS on December 30, 2021, 11:27:05 AM
Sorry for misjudging.
Thanks for not keeping it in and letting me know. :)

Otherwise, I would still be misunderstood (I have a talent for that).
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